Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 469654 times)

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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6300 on: November 20, 2020, 05:50:51 PM »
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6301 on: November 20, 2020, 05:51:28 PM »
A girl tells her mom she’s dating the guy next door.
The mom’s like “you can’t date him he could be your dad.”
And the daughter is like “so there’s an age difference who cares.”
The mom's like“I think you misunderstood me.”

 lol: lol: lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6302 on: November 20, 2020, 05:52:01 PM »
I was telling a mate of mine that my 'guilty pleasure' was listening to Beyoncé.
He said "Oh well, whatever floats your boat"
I said "No, I think you'll find that's buoyancy..."

 lol: lol: lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6303 on: November 20, 2020, 05:54:46 PM »
I was telling a mate of mine that my 'guilty pleasure' was listening to Beyoncé.
He said "Oh well, whatever floats your boat"
I said "No, I think you'll find that's buoyancy..."

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6304 on: November 20, 2020, 07:16:50 PM »
I mostly despair

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6305 on: November 21, 2020, 12:43:45 PM »
An 80-year-old man went to the doctor, who was amazed at what good shape he was in. The doctor asked,
"Why do you think you have such good health?"
The old timer said, "I'm a turkey hunter and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up before daylight and out chasing turkeys especially for Thanksgiving."
The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there has got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive? How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 100 years old and he hunted turkey with me this morning, and that's why he's still alive...he's a turkey hunter."
The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 118 years old."
The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went turkey hunting with you this morning too?"
The old timer said, "No, Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married."
The Doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?"
The old timer said, "Who said he wanted to?"
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6306 on: November 21, 2020, 01:00:44 PM »
An 80-year-old man went to the doctor, who was amazed at what good shape he was in. The doctor asked,
"Why do you think you have such good health?"
The old timer said, "I'm a turkey hunter and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up before daylight and out chasing turkeys especially for Thanksgiving."
The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there has got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive? How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 100 years old and he hunted turkey with me this morning, and that's why he's still alive...he's a turkey hunter."
The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 118 years old."
The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went turkey hunting with you this morning too?"
The old timer said, "No, Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married."
The Doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?"
The old timer said, "Who said he wanted to?"

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6307 on: November 21, 2020, 04:58:05 PM »
An 80-year-old man went to the doctor, who was amazed at what good shape he was in. The doctor asked,
"Why do you think you have such good health?"
The old timer said, "I'm a turkey hunter and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up before daylight and out chasing turkeys especially for Thanksgiving."
The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there has got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive? How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 100 years old and he hunted turkey with me this morning, and that's why he's still alive...he's a turkey hunter."
The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 118 years old."
The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went turkey hunting with you this morning too?"
The old timer said, "No, Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married."
The Doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?"
The old timer said, "Who said he wanted to?"

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline apc2010

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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6309 on: November 23, 2020, 11:55:59 PM »
Sony created two new stereos........


One has good bass for black people to listen to rap music. The other has good treble for white people to listen to country........



Those are two stereo types........... whistle:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6310 on: November 24, 2020, 06:48:43 AM »
Sony created two new stereos........


One has good bass for black people to listen to rap music. The other has good treble for white people to listen to country........



Those are two stereo types........... whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6311 on: November 24, 2020, 10:34:39 AM »
Sony created two new stereos........


One has good bass for black people to listen to rap music. The other has good treble for white people to listen to country........



Those are two stereo types........... whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6312 on: Yesterday at 02:57:52 PM »
Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning one of his hot rods for an upcoming show.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we’re married maybe it is time you quit spending all your time out here in the garage and you probably should just consider selling all your cars."
Tom gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what’s wrong?"
"There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!" she screams, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!!!"
Tom. "I wasn’t."
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6313 on: Yesterday at 03:12:17 PM »
Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning one of his hot rods for an upcoming show.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we’re married maybe it is time you quit spending all your time out here in the garage and you probably should just consider selling all your cars."
Tom gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what’s wrong?"
"There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!" she screams, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!!!"
Tom. "I wasn’t."

I'm sure that is AFFS but the search engine can't find it...  rubschin:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6314 on: Yesterday at 03:39:59 PM »
Yep I thought so too but Mr Search engine said  noooo:
Well, whatever nevermind