Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 496513 times)

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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6330 on: December 17, 2020, 12:49:50 PM »
An 18-year old boy and his girlfriend are going camping for the weekend and plan to lose their virginity to each other.
Bursting with excitement, the boy walks into a Chemist to buy some condoms. He notices they come in packs of 3, 6, and 12.
He's a bit confused, so he calls the Chemist over, and asks “Excuse me sir, but why are the condoms packaged this way?”
The kindly old Chemist replies, with a sly grin, "Well, son, it's all about efficiency and practicality. You see, this pack of 3 is for teenage boys, like yourself. You have one for Friday night, one for Saturday night, and one for Sunday night."
“Oh, I see” says the boy. He points to a 6 pack and asks, “Then, who are these for?”
“Those are for  Salesmen,” the Chemist answers. “TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday!”
“WOW!” exclaimed the boy, “Then, who uses THESE?” he asks, pointing to the 12-pack.
The Chemist sighed and replied, “Well, those are for married men, like myself. One for January, one for February, one for March……. ”

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6331 on: December 19, 2020, 11:48:08 AM »
Two Trump supporters die and go to heaven.
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions.
One of them says, “Yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?”
God says, "My son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232.”
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers,
“This goes higher up than we thought.”
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6332 on: December 19, 2020, 08:18:01 PM »
Two Trump supporters die and go to heaven.
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions.
One of them says, “Yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?”
God says, "My son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232.”
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers,
“This goes higher up than we thought.”

 ;D Thumbs:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6333 on: December 23, 2020, 08:46:32 AM »
You may have noticed I've been quiet for a while. It's mainly because of the frequent "debate" going on about Anti-Vaxxers. Mostly the mocking of those with different opinions and jokes being thrown around, and in honesty, I've found it easier to just take a step back than to constantly argue with people.

However, I am now coming forward to stand up and say I'm firmly in the Anti-Vax camp.

There, I've said it.

I have my reasons, like many anti-vaxxers, but it's important that everyone approaches this sensitive topic armed with the information THEY know to be true. I know my truth and I have first-hand experience that backs up my stance.

I once had a Vax and it was the shittiest vacuum cleaner ever... it whistles a high pitch noise and interferes with my hearing aids... but my other half loves it.. and it attacks me .. true story

I will never buy one again. All these armchair experts have clearly never experienced the disappointment of having to go over the same piece of carpet, again and again, to pick up the same biscuit crumbs or dog hair.

I am firmly in the Henry the hoover camp and I will not be told otherwise.
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6334 on: December 23, 2020, 09:12:10 AM »
 
You may have noticed I've been quiet for a while. It's mainly because of the frequent "debate" going on about Anti-Vaxxers. Mostly the mocking of those with different opinions and jokes being thrown around, and in honesty, I've found it easier to just take a step back than to constantly argue with people.

However, I am now coming forward to stand up and say I'm firmly in the Anti-Vax camp.

There, I've said it.

I have my reasons, like many anti-vaxxers, but it's important that everyone approaches this sensitive topic armed with the information THEY know to be true. I know my truth and I have first-hand experience that backs up my stance.

I once had a Vax and it was the shittiest vacuum cleaner ever... it whistles a high pitch noise and interferes with my hearing aids... but my other half loves it.. and it attacks me .. true story

I will never buy one again. All these armchair experts have clearly never experienced the disappointment of having to go over the same piece of carpet, again and again, to pick up the same biscuit crumbs or dog hair.

I am firmly in the Henry the hoover camp and I will not be told otherwise.

 facepalm: facepalm:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6335 on: December 23, 2020, 09:23:09 AM »
You may have noticed I've been quiet for a while. It's mainly because of the frequent "debate" going on about Anti-Vaxxers. Mostly the mocking of those with different opinions and jokes being thrown around, and in honesty, I've found it easier to just take a step back than to constantly argue with people.

However, I am now coming forward to stand up and say I'm firmly in the Anti-Vax camp.

There, I've said it.

I have my reasons, like many anti-vaxxers, but it's important that everyone approaches this sensitive topic armed with the information THEY know to be true. I know my truth and I have first-hand experience that backs up my stance.

I once had a Vax and it was the shittiest vacuum cleaner ever... it whistles a high pitch noise and interferes with my hearing aids... but my other half loves it.. and it attacks me .. true story

I will never buy one again. All these armchair experts have clearly never experienced the disappointment of having to go over the same piece of carpet, again and again, to pick up the same biscuit crumbs or dog hair.

I am firmly in the Henry the hoover camp and I will not be told otherwise.
lol: lol: lol:
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6336 on: December 23, 2020, 03:55:05 PM »
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came to see a therapist. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"..............???




"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.".......... whistle:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6337 on: December 23, 2020, 03:59:46 PM »
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came to see a therapist. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"..............???

 lol: lol: lol:


"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.".......... whistle:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6338 on: December 23, 2020, 05:04:31 PM »
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came to see a therapist. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"..............???

 lol: lol: lol:


"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.".......... whistle:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6339 on: December 23, 2020, 08:35:08 PM »
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came to see a therapist. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"..............???

 lol: lol: lol:


"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.".......... whistle:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6340 on: December 24, 2020, 12:12:47 AM »
Blonde wants to send a message to her mother overseas.
The man told her it would cost £300, but I don't have £300, but I'll do anything to get a message to my mother!
"Anything?" said the man.
“Yes, anything,” said the blonde.
“Follow me,” said the man.
"Now get down on your knees, pull down my zip, and gently take out my penis"
She reached in, and gently with both hands held his penis.
The man closed his eyes, and said, "Well, go ahead!"
The blonde slowly, brought her mouth closer to his penis, while holding it close to her lips, she whispered… .........



"Hello mum, can you hear................??

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6341 on: December 24, 2020, 07:10:19 AM »
Blonde wants to send a message to her mother overseas.
The man told her it would cost £300, but I don't have £300, but I'll do anything to get a message to my mother!
"Anything?" said the man.
“Yes, anything,” said the blonde.
“Follow me,” said the man.
"Now get down on your knees, pull down my zip, and gently take out my penis"
She reached in, and gently with both hands held his penis.
The man closed his eyes, and said, "Well, go ahead!"
The blonde slowly, brought her mouth closer to his penis, while holding it close to her lips, she whispered… .........



"Hello mum, can you hear................??

 ;D
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6342 on: December 24, 2020, 07:14:52 AM »
Blonde wants to send a message to her mother overseas.
The man told her it would cost £300, but I don't have £300, but I'll do anything to get a message to my mother!
"Anything?" said the man.
“Yes, anything,” said the blonde.
“Follow me,” said the man.
"Now get down on your knees, pull down my zip, and gently take out my penis"
She reached in, and gently with both hands held his penis.
The man closed his eyes, and said, "Well, go ahead!"
The blonde slowly, brought her mouth closer to his penis, while holding it close to her lips, she whispered… .........



"Hello mum, can you hear................??

 ;D

  ;D ;D
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6343 on: December 26, 2020, 11:26:59 PM »
I could not afford a DNA kit for Ancestry ... so I posted I won the Lottery ...
 Soon found out who my family were.
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6344 on: December 27, 2020, 05:25:01 AM »
I could not afford a DNA kit for Ancestry ... so I posted I won the Lottery ...
 Soon found out who my family were.

 lol: lol: lol:
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