Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 360162 times)

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5025 on: May 06, 2019, 02:59:31 PM »
A Psychiatrist draws a triangle, "Now tell me, what's that?"
"A naked woman," replies the patient.
Psychiatrist draws a line, "Now tell me what you see.""A naked man," replies the patient.
Psychiatrist draws a load of circles, "Now what's that?""An orgy," replies the patient.
"I can conclude sir, that you are a sex maniac."
"Me? You're the one who's drawing all the dirty pictures."
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5026 on: May 06, 2019, 03:01:02 PM »
A Psychiatrist draws a triangle, "Now tell me, what's that?"
"A naked woman," replies the patient.
Psychiatrist draws a line, "Now tell me what you see.""A naked man," replies the patient.
Psychiatrist draws a load of circles, "Now what's that?""An orgy," replies the patient.
"I can conclude sir, that you are a sex maniac."
"Me? You're the one who's drawing all the dirty pictures."

 lol:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5027 on: May 06, 2019, 09:43:56 PM »
I'm so fed up of your macho image, why don't you show me your feminine side for once?" Moaned my wife.
"OK, give me a minute, " I said, "right, " I then shouted, "I'm in the kitchen, can you come and open this fucking jar of pickles for me?"
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5028 on: May 06, 2019, 10:40:10 PM »
I'm so fed up of your macho image, why don't you show me your feminine side for once?" Moaned my wife.
"OK, give me a minute, " I said, "right, " I then shouted, "I'm in the kitchen, can you come and open this fucking jar of pickles for me?"

 ;D ;D

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5029 on: May 06, 2019, 11:09:18 PM »
I'm so fed up of your macho image, why don't you show me your feminine side for once?" Moaned my wife.
"OK, give me a minute, " I said, "right, " I then shouted, "I'm in the kitchen, can you come and open this fucking jar of pickles for me?"

 ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5030 on: May 07, 2019, 03:45:32 AM »
I'm so fed up of your macho image, why don't you show me your feminine side for once?" Moaned my wife.
"OK, give me a minute, " I said, "right, " I then shouted, "I'm in the kitchen, can you come and open this fucking jar of pickles for me?"

 ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5031 on: May 07, 2019, 11:10:37 AM »
I'm so fed up of your macho image, why don't you show me your feminine side for once?" Moaned my wife.
"OK, give me a minute, " I said, "right, " I then shouted, "I'm in the kitchen, can you come and open this fucking jar of pickles for me?"

 ;D ;D
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5032 on: May 07, 2019, 10:23:18 PM »
WIFE= Honey can you help me clean the garden?
HUSBAND= Do I look like a gardener?
Wife=Sorry Honey, could you help fix the bathroom door?
HUSBAND= Do I look like a carpenter?

The husband then decides to go for a drink. When he returns, the garden is cleaned and the bathroom door was fixed.

HUSBAND= I knew you could do all that by yourself.
WIFE= I didn't do it.
HUSBAND= Who then?
WIFE John, the next door neighbour.
HUSBAND= How much did you pay him?
WIFE=No money, he just gave me two options, Sex Or Bread.
HUSBAND= I hope you gave him bread!
WIFE= Do I look like a baker?
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5033 on: May 07, 2019, 11:31:28 PM »
WIFE= Honey can you help me clean the garden?
HUSBAND= Do I look like a gardener?
Wife=Sorry Honey, could you help fix the bathroom door?
HUSBAND= Do I look like a carpenter?

The husband then decides to go for a drink. When he returns, the garden is cleaned and the bathroom door was fixed.

HUSBAND= I knew you could do all that by yourself.
WIFE= I didn't do it.
HUSBAND= Who then?
WIFE John, the next door neighbour.
HUSBAND= How much did you pay him?
WIFE=No money, he just gave me two options, Sex Or Bread.
HUSBAND= I hope you gave him bread!
WIFE= Do I look like a baker?

 lol: lol:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5034 on: May 08, 2019, 03:42:50 AM »
WIFE= Honey can you help me clean the garden?
HUSBAND= Do I look like a gardener?
Wife=Sorry Honey, could you help fix the bathroom door?
HUSBAND= Do I look like a carpenter?

The husband then decides to go for a drink. When he returns, the garden is cleaned and the bathroom door was fixed.

HUSBAND= I knew you could do all that by yourself.
WIFE= I didn't do it.
HUSBAND= Who then?
WIFE John, the next door neighbour.
HUSBAND= How much did you pay him?
WIFE=No money, he just gave me two options, Sex Or Bread.
HUSBAND= I hope you gave him bread!
WIFE= Do I look like a baker?

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5035 on: May 08, 2019, 02:22:50 PM »
A man brings his best buddy home for dinner.....unannounced at 7.30 after work.
His wife starts screaming at him and his friend just sits there and listens in.
WIFE= "My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight. Why the hell did you bring him home?"
HUSBAND= "Because he's thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo."
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5036 on: May 08, 2019, 02:30:15 PM »
A man brings his best buddy home for dinner.....unannounced at 7.30 after work.
His wife starts screaming at him and his friend just sits there and listens in.
WIFE= "My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight. Why the hell did you bring him home?"
HUSBAND= "Because he's thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo."

 ;D ;D

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5037 on: May 08, 2019, 02:47:55 PM »
A man brings his best buddy home for dinner.....unannounced at 7.30 after work.
His wife starts screaming at him and his friend just sits there and listens in.
WIFE= "My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight. Why the hell did you bring him home?"
HUSBAND= "Because he's thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo."

 ;D ;D

 lol: lol:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5038 on: May 08, 2019, 03:23:00 PM »
A man brings his best buddy home for dinner.....unannounced at 7.30 after work.
His wife starts screaming at him and his friend just sits there and listens in.
WIFE= "My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight. Why the hell did you bring him home?"
HUSBAND= "Because he's thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo."

 ;D ;D

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5039 on: May 09, 2019, 10:40:32 AM »
I bumped into an old mate earlier...I asked him what he is up to these days ?????



"I cook meals for the homeless,drug addicts and people with addiction to drinking and gambling and that sort of thing"


" Charity work ???? " 








No Weatherspoons ........ redface: