Yet another road trip with Nod

[Nick]

Car hire scam

Car hire was £51 quid for the week.
This is, of course, nonsense, as they sting you for an additional £200 insurance to cover the "excess"
Thwarted this by buying the excess insurance in UK for £14 
We arrive Madrid late, hot, in a hurry and take ages to find the car hire desk

Girl: Two of you?
Me: Yes
Girl: Luggage?
Me: Yes
Girl: The car you have chosen has no room for this much luggage [bollocks]
Me: I will risk it
Girl: You must not leave luggage visible in car in Spain. People break in.
Me: I will risk it
Girl: Not a good idea
Me: SHow me the car!

Pause

Girl: Where are you going?
Me: Avila and Salamanca

Girl: the car you have chosen will not go faster than 80 kph

By now I am fit to kill and sweating like a (stuck) pig

Girl: For just 15 Euros a day I can upgrade you to a more suitable vehicle
Nod: Oh fuck, let's just do it

I was in no mood to argue so we bought the scam. The upgrade is fucking ENORMOUS, girl has earned a bonus and we are 100 EUros down 

[Barman]

Car hire scam

Car hire was £51 quid for the week.
This is, of course, nonsense, as they sting you for an additional £200 insurance to cover the "excess"
Thwarted this by buying the excess insurance in UK for £14 
We arrive Madrid late, hot, in a hurry and take ages to find the car hire desk

Girl: Two of you?
Me: Yes
Girl: Luggage?
Me: Yes
Girl: The car you have chosen has no room for this much luggage [bollocks]
Me: I will risk it
Girl: You must not leave luggage visible in car in Spain. People break in.
Me: I will risk it
Girl: Not a good idea
Me: SHow me the car!

Pause

Girl: Where are you going?
Me: Avila and Salamanca

Girl: the car you have chosen will not go faster than 80 kph

By now I am fit to kill and sweating like a (stuck) pig

Girl: For just 15 Euros a day I can upgrade you to a more suitable vehicle
Nod: Oh fuck, let's just do it

I was in no mood to argue so we bought the scam. The upgrade is fucking ENORMOUS, girl has earned a bonus and we are 100 EUros down 

Estúpidos pensionistas ingleses! Como tomar dulces de un bebé ...

[Nick]

 

Have just had to show Nod how to close a fucking window!!

[Miss Demeanour]

Are his puter skills limited too ? 

[Barman]

Are his puter skills limited too ? 

 

[Nick]

Are his puter skills limited too ? 

Zero 

He has just had a cold shower (I heard the screaming) as he had forgotten how to use the mixer tap 

He is in charge of today's itinerary   

[Steve]

Car hire scam

Car hire was £51 quid for the week.
This is, of course, nonsense, as they sting you for an additional £200 insurance to cover the "excess"
Thwarted this by buying the excess insurance in UK for £14 
We arrive Madrid late, hot, in a hurry and take ages to find the car hire desk

Girl: Two of you?
Me: Yes
Girl: Luggage?
Me: Yes
Girl: The car you have chosen has no room for this much luggage [bollocks]
Me: I will risk it
Girl: You must not leave luggage visible in car in Spain. People break in.
Me: I will risk it
Girl: Not a good idea
Me: SHow me the car!

Pause

Girl: Where are you going?
Me: Avila and Salamanca

Girl: the car you have chosen will not go faster than 80 kph

By now I am fit to kill and sweating like a (stuck) pig

Girl: For just 15 Euros a day I can upgrade you to a more suitable vehicle
Nod: Oh fuck, let's just do it

I was in no mood to argue so we bought the scam. The upgrade is fucking ENORMOUS, girl has earned a bonus and we are 100 EUros down 

Estúpidos pensionistas ingleses! Como tomar dulces de un bebé ...

But seriously €15 a day ain't that much for an enormous car.  IMHO never ever have a small rental car on holiday, they are always tiresome to drive, there are always issues with luggage and you miss the chance to really try out a vehicle you might want to buy back in real life.

[Miss Demeanour]

Are his puter skills limited too ? 

Zero 

He has just had a cold shower (I heard the screaming) as he had forgotten how to use the mixer tap 

He is in charge of today's itinerary   

Sounds costly 

[Nick]

Utter shambles.

Nod's carefully researched guided tour of the University of Salamanca foundered on his utter fucking inability to read maps    Each fresh failure led to a suggestion that we stop to have a beer while we "regroup". This did not help. Eventually I used my phone app to get us to the start point where, with Nod explaining something about medieval libraries, we acquired a small group of Japanese Catholic nuns. One of their number started interpreting Nod's ramblings to the rest, apparently under the illusion that he was some sort of specialist tour guide 

It was OK, until they started firing alarmingly detailed questions about 15th century canon law. Nod made up some mildly plausible answers before we fled to have more beer. I managed to find the frog on the university facade which will bring me luck, apparently 

I am going to need it, as tomorrow we are driving east for the day so that Nod can enlighten me about the ins and outs of the Peninsular War here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ciudad_Rodrigo

He has read up on the fortifications and is threatening to do a "thorough job". 

https://fotos00.lagacetadesalamanca.es/2015/07/13/646x260/ciudad-rodrigo.jpg


A boozy lunch led to an idea for an article from me about something non-Spanishy.

[Nick]

And photos? Forget it! All the ones I have are of food apart from one of a stork on top of a chimbley. 

I will post some bits and bobs for Sharpe fans tomorrow, if we survive 

[Nick]

He went out to buy some bog rolls!! He has now locked me in and himself out!! 

[Nick]

12 bog rolls!! 12! Why?

Nod: It's always handy to have one in the car 

 

He has gone out for "a beer" 

[Grumpmeister]

Utter shambles.

Nod's carefully researched guided tour of the University of Salamanca foundered on his utter fucking inability to read maps    Each fresh failure led to a suggestion that we stop to have a beer while we "regroup". This did not help. Eventually I used my phone app to get us to the start point where, with Nod explaining something about medieval libraries, we acquired a small group of Japanese Catholic nuns. One of their number started interpreting Nod's ramblings to the rest, apparently under the illusion that he was some sort of specialist tour guide

It was OK, until they started firing alarmingly detailed questions about 15th century canon law. Nod made up some mildly plausible answers before we fled to have more beer. I managed to find the frog on the university facade which will bring me luck, apparently 

I am going to need it, as tomorrow we are driving east for the day so that Nod can enlighten me about the ins and outs of the Peninsular War here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ciudad_Rodrigo

He has read up on the fortifications and is threatening to do a "thorough job". 

https://fotos00.lagacetadesalamanca.es/2015/07/13/646x260/ciudad-rodrigo.jpg


A boozy lunch led to an idea for an article from me about something non-Spanishy.

Either that or she was explaining to the rest of her group that the pair of you are nun the wiser... 

[Nick]

 

Nod has become intrigued by the bidet 

I have told him to go nowhere near it 

[Steve]

I always knew Care in the Community was a mistake