The all new BM's Tenants' Blog

[Nick]

Coming soon 

[Barman]

Coming soon 

 

[Nick]

Day 1: Well, we have arrived in Cyprus. We were met at the airport by our new landlord. He is a clown.
He drove us up to the new abode in his vintage truck and let us into the house.  Everything was covered in Post It notes. Everything! It seems that the landlady is rather OCD and felt it necessary to label everything as though we are retarded. The Post it Not on the fridge read "Fridge", the one on the wardrobe read "Wardrobe" and so on. We have spent most of the first day ripping these blasted stickies off everything. Even stuff in drawers is labelled. I know what a fvcking spoon is you daft tart. They don't need a post it note

We shall be exploring the cellar and other murky parts of the house tomorrow.

At present SWMBO is fighting off the attentions of a gang of mangey cats who seem to expect her to feed them. I imagine Cyprus swarms with such strays, but SWMBO is allergic. She found a shotgun hidden in a cupboard (no Post It, so it must have been overlooked) and is demanding that I shoot them. Time enough for that tomorrow.

[Steve]

Excellent work Mr Nick 

[Steve]

Day 1 pm: We have been wondering what the awful smell was.  We have now tracked it down to a decomposing packet of Popcorn flavouring that someone had thrown to the back of a cupboard.  We may have been unfairly blaming the cats

Will have to rush off now as SWMBO has a nasty cut when she trod on a discarded quadcopter on the bottom of the pool.

[Barman]

 

 

[Nick]

My lovely thread 

[Just One More]

We need a post it on The Snug 

[Nick]

We need Post Its on the whole pub so we don't get muddled, like.

[Barman]

We need Post Its on the whole pub so we don't get muddled, like.

 

[Steve]

Day 1. evening

The minema looks ideal for cannabis growing

[Nick]

Day 2

Shotgun loaded and managed to blast one of the cats    Pity it landed in the pool 

Got some cleaning up to do there, methinks.

SWMBO has counted nearly 400 Post it notes in drawers and even hidden behind things. One, stuck to a cushion, just said "Cushion"!  That woman must be completely bonkers. Some neighbours, I think Russian, have invited us round this evening for a drink. We may get some of the lowdown on our clowns of landlords.

We have also managed to purchase a car from someone called "Cash Only George". He assures us that it is in tip top condition and has had just one careful owner. He seems trustworthy.

[Steve]

 

[Barman]

 

[Nick]

George delivered the "car". All the panels are different colours, so it looks like a clown car. The interior stinks of cheese.

He assures me it is "bespoke" and has supplied a guarantee (which is written in Greek).