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Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 499109 times)

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Online Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6345 on: December 27, 2020, 09:10:24 AM »
I could not afford a DNA kit for Ancestry ... so I posted I won the Lottery ...
 Soon found out who my family were.

 lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6346 on: December 27, 2020, 10:00:11 AM »
I could not afford a DNA kit for Ancestry ... so I posted I won the Lottery ...
 Soon found out who my family were.

 lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6347 on: December 27, 2020, 01:01:32 PM »
likely an Affs but anyway . . .

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store with a beautiful, much younger girl at his side.
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, "By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds.
I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon."
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said "Sir... There's no money in that account."
"I know," said the old man. "But let me tell you about my weekend."
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)

Online Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6348 on: December 27, 2020, 01:12:47 PM »
likely an Affs but anyway . . .

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store with a beautiful, much younger girl at his side.
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, "By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds.
I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon."
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said "Sir... There's no money in that account."
"I know," said the old man. "But let me tell you about my weekend."

 happy001 happy001 happy001
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6349 on: December 27, 2020, 01:18:48 PM »
likely an Affs but anyway . . .

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store with a beautiful, much younger girl at his side.
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, "By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds.
I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon."
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said "Sir... There's no money in that account."
"I know," said the old man. "But let me tell you about my weekend."

 happy001 happy001 happy001

 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6350 on: December 31, 2020, 07:44:59 PM »
I canít believe it!!!
Iíve just been accused of being a plagiarist!
Their words not mine.
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6351 on: December 31, 2020, 07:47:01 PM »
I canít believe it!!!
Iíve just been accused of being a plagiarist!
Their words not mine.
drumroll:
I mostly despair

Online Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6352 on: December 31, 2020, 08:05:15 PM »
I canít believe it!!!
Iíve just been accused of being a plagiarist!
Their words not mine.
drumroll:

 drumroll: drumroll:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6353 on: January 10, 2021, 01:12:23 PM »
the Affometer is twitching but why not:


After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago:
Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times:
"American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians."
One week later, the British authorities reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in Cornwall, Steve Williams, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely bugger all.
Steve has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."
Just makes you bloody proud to be British don't it..
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6354 on: January 10, 2021, 01:20:04 PM »
the Affometer is twitching but why not:


After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago:
Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times:
"American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians."
One week later, the British authorities reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in Cornwall, Steve Williams, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely bugger all.
Steve has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."
Just makes you bloody proud to be British don't it..

 ;D
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6355 on: January 10, 2021, 01:25:15 PM »
the Affometer is twitching but why not:


After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago:
Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times:
"American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians."
One week later, the British authorities reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in Cornwall, Steve Williams, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely bugger all.
Steve has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."
Just makes you bloody proud to be British don't it..

 ;D Thumbs:

Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6356 on: January 10, 2021, 03:00:04 PM »
the Affometer is twitching but why not:


After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago:
Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times:
"American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians."
One week later, the British authorities reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in Cornwall, Steve Williams, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely bugger all.
Steve has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."
Just makes you bloody proud to be British don't it..

 ;D Thumbs:

Strangely enough I used to work with a guy down here called Steve Williams and it sounds like the kind of thing he would believe...  eeek:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6357 on: January 14, 2021, 11:45:10 AM »
Two men are playing golf when one realises he's left his jacket at the last tee.

He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back.
"What's up?" asks his mate.
"Well, you see those two women at the tee. One's my wife, and she's playing with my mistress."
His mate laughs and says, "No worries, I'll go get it for you."
He stops halfway, comes back, looks at his mate and says "Small world.
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6358 on: January 14, 2021, 11:52:06 AM »
Two men are playing golf when one realises he's left his jacket at the last tee.

He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back.
"What's up?" asks his mate.
"Well, you see those two women at the tee. One's my wife, and she's playing with my mistress."
His mate laughs and says, "No worries, I'll go get it for you."
He stops halfway, comes back, looks at his mate and says "Small world.

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6359 on: January 14, 2021, 04:06:19 PM »
I had a worryingly similar problem with two girlfriends in the 80s. They knew each other. One was upstairs in bed and the other dropped in for a coffee early one morning  redface: redface: scared2: scared2:
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