Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 381410 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 36116
  • Reputation: 5
  • I mostly despair
I mostly despair

Online Just One More

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 22860
  • Reputation: 0
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5371 on: November 07, 2019, 11:49:16 PM »
My name is Alice smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his dental diploma, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark haired boy with the same name had been in my secondary school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, i quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, grey haired man with the deeply lined face was far too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park secondary school .
'Yes, yes I did. I'm a Morganner! 'He beamed with pride.
'When did you leave to go to college?' I asked
He answered, in 1965. Why do you ask?
'You were in my class!' I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then the ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat arsed, grey haired, decrepit,
bastard asked..
'What did you teach?'
« Last Edit: November 08, 2019, 05:49:55 AM by Just One More »
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 128997
  • Reputation: -49
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5372 on: November 08, 2019, 04:48:42 AM »
My name is Alice smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his dental diploma, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark haired boy with the same name had been in my secondary school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, i quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, grey haired man with the deeply lined face was far too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park secondary school .
'Yes, yes I did. I'm a Morganner! 'He beamed with pride.
'When did you leave to go to college?' I asked
He answered, in 1965. Why do you ask?
'You were in my class!' I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then the ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat arsed, grey haired, decrepit,
sastard asked..
'What did you teach?'

happy001
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 36116
  • Reputation: 5
  • I mostly despair
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5373 on: November 08, 2019, 09:24:52 AM »
My name is Alice smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his dental diploma, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark haired boy with the same name had been in my secondary school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, i quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, grey haired man with the deeply lined face was far too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park secondary school .
'Yes, yes I did. I'm a Morganner! 'He beamed with pride.
'When did you leave to go to college?' I asked
He answered, in 1965. Why do you ask?
'You were in my class!' I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then the ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat arsed, grey haired, decrepit,
sastard asked..
'What did you teach?'

happy001
happy001 happy001
I mostly despair

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 40999
  • Reputation: -3
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5374 on: November 08, 2019, 10:01:29 AM »
My name is Alice smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his dental diploma, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark haired boy with the same name had been in my secondary school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, i quickly discarded any such thought.
This balding, grey haired man with the deeply lined face was far too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park secondary school .
'Yes, yes I did. I'm a Morganner! 'He beamed with pride.
'When did you leave to go to college?' I asked
He answered, in 1965. Why do you ask?
'You were in my class!' I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then the ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat arsed, grey haired, decrepit,
sastard asked..
'What did you teach?'

happy001
happy001 happy001
  lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 40999
  • Reputation: -3
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5375 on: November 08, 2019, 05:56:19 PM »
Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty  Scousers showed up.
Never having seen anyone from Liverpool at heaven's door, Saint Peter said he would have to check with God.
After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the ten most virtuous people from the group.
A few minutes later, Saint Peter returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone!" "What? All of the Scousers  are gone?" asked God. "No!" replied Saint Peter. "The Pearly Gates!"
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 128997
  • Reputation: -49
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5376 on: November 09, 2019, 04:20:12 AM »
Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty  Scousers showed up.
Never having seen anyone from Liverpool at heaven's door, Saint Peter said he would have to check with God.
After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the ten most virtuous people from the group.
A few minutes later, Saint Peter returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone!" "What? All of the Scousers  are gone?" asked God. "No!" replied Saint Peter. "The Pearly Gates!"

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Guinness)

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 12191
  • Reputation: 0
  • No surrender
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5377 on: November 09, 2019, 10:35:43 AM »
I've started dating a lady with eczema.

She has cracking tits...

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 51681
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5378 on: November 09, 2019, 10:55:47 AM »
I've started dating a lady with eczema.

She has cracking tits...

 ;D ;D ;D

Online Just One More

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 22860
  • Reputation: 0
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5379 on: November 09, 2019, 11:22:29 AM »
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 128997
  • Reputation: -49
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 36116
  • Reputation: 5
  • I mostly despair
I mostly despair

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 51681
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5382 on: November 14, 2019, 12:33:48 PM »
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says: “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Long
Larry replies: “God and I are close. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife..........

“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”.......




“Oh for fucks sake”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s pissing in the fridge again!”...........

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 128997
  • Reputation: -49
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5383 on: November 14, 2019, 12:46:01 PM »
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says: “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Long
Larry replies: “God and I are close. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife..........

“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”.......




“Oh for fucks sake”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s pissing in the fridge again!”...........

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs: