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Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 387867 times)

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5385 on: November 18, 2019, 08:34:56 PM »
Paddy and Mick are sent to prison.
Desperate to stay in touch with each other, they invent a code and tap messages to each other by banging on the hot water pipes with a spoon.
The system worked perfectly for a time, but sadly it broke down after they were transferred to separate cells.
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5386 on: November 18, 2019, 08:36:01 PM »
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says: “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Long
Larry replies: “God and I are close. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife..........

“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”.......




“Oh for fucks sake”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s pissing in the fridge again!”...........

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5387 on: November 18, 2019, 08:37:28 PM »
A big-game hunter went on safari with his new wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5388 on: November 18, 2019, 10:04:14 PM »
A big-game hunter went on safari with his new wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

 ;D  ;D  ;D
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5389 on: November 19, 2019, 07:12:43 AM »
Paddy and Mick are sent to prison.
Desperate to stay in touch with each other, they invent a code and tap messages to each other by banging on the hot water pipes with a spoon.
The system worked perfectly for a time, but sadly it broke down after they were transferred to separate cells.

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5390 on: November 19, 2019, 09:24:36 PM »
My 1 year old grandson fell asleep on my lap last night.
So I quietly carried him upstairs, laid him down and then went back downstairs to relax for half an hour.
Everybody on the bus thought I was a right bastard..
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5391 on: November 19, 2019, 09:26:35 PM »
My 1 year old grandson fell asleep on my lap last night.
So I quietly carried him upstairs, laid him down and then went back downstairs to relax for half an hour.
Everybody on the bus thought I was a right bastard..

 ;D ;D Thumbs:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5392 on: November 20, 2019, 06:14:39 AM »
My 1 year old grandson fell asleep on my lap last night.
So I quietly carried him upstairs, laid him down and then went back downstairs to relax for half an hour.
Everybody on the bus thought I was a right bastard..

 ;D ;D Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5393 on: November 20, 2019, 04:09:57 PM »
My 1 year old grandson fell asleep on my lap last night.
So I quietly carried him upstairs, laid him down and then went back downstairs to relax for half an hour.
Everybody on the bus thought I was a right bastard..

 ;D ;D Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5394 on: November 21, 2019, 02:07:31 PM »



Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5395 on: November 21, 2019, 02:38:08 PM »




 whistle: redface:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5396 on: November 21, 2019, 02:45:55 PM »
happy001
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5397 on: November 24, 2019, 06:46:09 PM »
Paddy says to Murphy, "I hear that girl who played Pussy Galore in the Bond films has split her fanny open!"
Mick replies, "Honor Blackman?"

Paddy says, "No on a dildo!"
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5398 on: November 24, 2019, 08:07:32 PM »
Paddy says to Murphy, "I hear that girl who played Pussy Galore in the Bond films has split her fanny open!"
Mick replies, "Honor Blackman?"

Paddy says, "No on a dildo!"

 lol: lol: redface:

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5399 on: November 24, 2019, 11:25:46 PM »
Paddy says to Murphy, "I hear that girl who played Pussy Galore in the Bond films has split her fanny open!"
Mick replies, "Honor Blackman?"

Paddy says, "No on a dildo!"

 lol: lol: redface:
lol: lol: lol: redface: redface:
Well, whatever nevermind