Fresh from the Inbox

[Steve]

Paddy and Mick are sent to prison.
Desperate to stay in touch with each other, they invent a code and tap messages to each other by banging on the hot water pipes with a spoon.
The system worked perfectly for a time, but sadly it broke down after they were transferred to separate cells.

[Steve]

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says: “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Long
Larry replies: “God and I are close. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife..........

“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”.......




“Oh for fucks sake”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s pissing in the fridge again!”...........

 

[Steve]

A big-game hunter went on safari with his new wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

[Just One More]

A big-game hunter went on safari with his new wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

    

[Barman]

Paddy and Mick are sent to prison.
Desperate to stay in touch with each other, they invent a code and tap messages to each other by banging on the hot water pipes with a spoon.
The system worked perfectly for a time, but sadly it broke down after they were transferred to separate cells.

 

[Steve]

My 1 year old grandson fell asleep on my lap last night.
So I quietly carried him upstairs, laid him down and then went back downstairs to relax for half an hour.
Everybody on the bus thought I was a right bastard..

[apc2010]

My 1 year old grandson fell asleep on my lap last night.
So I quietly carried him upstairs, laid him down and then went back downstairs to relax for half an hour.
Everybody on the bus thought I was a right bastard..

 

[Barman]

My 1 year old grandson fell asleep on my lap last night.
So I quietly carried him upstairs, laid him down and then went back downstairs to relax for half an hour.
Everybody on the bus thought I was a right bastard..

 

[Darwins Selection]

My 1 year old grandson fell asleep on my lap last night.
So I quietly carried him upstairs, laid him down and then went back downstairs to relax for half an hour.
Everybody on the bus thought I was a right bastard..

 

[apc2010]

[apc2010]

 

[Barman]

[Just One More]

Paddy says to Murphy, "I hear that girl who played Pussy Galore in the Bond films has split her fanny open!"
Mick replies, "Honor Blackman?"

Paddy says, "No on a dildo!"

[apc2010]

Paddy says to Murphy, "I hear that girl who played Pussy Galore in the Bond films has split her fanny open!"
Mick replies, "Honor Blackman?"

Paddy says, "No on a dildo!"

 

[Steve]

Paddy says to Murphy, "I hear that girl who played Pussy Galore in the Bond films has split her fanny open!"
Mick replies, "Honor Blackman?"

Paddy says, "No on a dildo!"