Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 262947 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 121091
  • Reputation: -40
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4560 on: May 17, 2018, 05:32:37 AM »
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 34353
  • Reputation: -2
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 35019
  • Reputation: 5
  • I mostly despair
I mostly despair

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 91994
  • Reputation: -104
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 121091
  • Reputation: -40
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Just One More

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 22291
  • Reputation: 0
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4565 on: May 19, 2018, 08:02:27 PM »
2 dogs in a bar
Dog 1: "I heard a great joke today"
Dog 2: "Let's hear it then"
Dog 1: "Knock kno..."
Dog 2: goes fucking mental
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 121091
  • Reputation: -40
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4566 on: May 19, 2018, 09:44:18 PM »
2 dogs in a bar
Dog 1: "I heard a great joke today"
Dog 2: "Let's hear it then"
Dog 1: "Knock kno..."
Dog 2: goes fucking mental

happy002

Our do g does that...  noooo:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 34353
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4567 on: May 19, 2018, 10:11:44 PM »
2 dogs in a bar
Dog 1: "I heard a great joke today"
Dog 2: "Let's hear it then"
Dog 1: "Knock kno..."
Dog 2: goes fucking mental
lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 34353
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4568 on: May 23, 2018, 06:23:44 PM »
Last night someone just asked me to sing any line from, ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.’

I couldn't if I tried
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 121091
  • Reputation: -40
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4569 on: May 23, 2018, 06:30:04 PM »
Last night someone just asked me to sing any line from, ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.’

I couldn't if I tried

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Just One More

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 22291
  • Reputation: 0
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4570 on: May 23, 2018, 10:05:16 PM »
I went to see my doctor this morning.
"How can I help you?" she asked.
"I found a lump while I was in the bath," I replied, pointing downwards.
"Oh right," she said, "Take your trousers down for me."
After having a good old feel of my bollocks for a few minutes, she said, "I can't feel a lump."
I said, "It's on my toe."
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 121091
  • Reputation: -40
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4571 on: May 24, 2018, 04:27:06 AM »
I went to see my doctor this morning.
"How can I help you?" she asked.
"I found a lump while I was in the bath," I replied, pointing downwards.
"Oh right," she said, "Take your trousers down for me."
After having a good old feel of my bollocks for a few minutes, she said, "I can't feel a lump."
I said, "It's on my toe."

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 34353
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4572 on: May 24, 2018, 08:04:04 AM »
I went to see my doctor this morning.
"How can I help you?" she asked.
"I found a lump while I was in the bath," I replied, pointing downwards.
"Oh right," she said, "Take your trousers down for me."
After having a good old feel of my bollocks for a few minutes, she said, "I can't feel a lump."
I said, "It's on my toe."

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 35019
  • Reputation: 5
  • I mostly despair
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4573 on: May 24, 2018, 08:44:17 AM »
I went to see my doctor this morning.
"How can I help you?" she asked.
"I found a lump while I was in the bath," I replied, pointing downwards.
"Oh right," she said, "Take your trousers down for me."
After having a good old feel of my bollocks for a few minutes, she said, "I can't feel a lump."
I said, "It's on my toe."

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 34353
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4574 on: May 24, 2018, 11:34:45 PM »
Four old retired guys are walking down Queens street in Morecambe.......
They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 pence." They look at each other and then go in, thinking, This is too good to be true. The old
bartender says in a voice that carries across the room,
"Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be,
gentlemen?"
There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a Beer
with a whiskey chaser . In no time the bartender
serves up four beers & whiskey chasers - and
says, "That'll be 20 pence each, please."
The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 20 pence finish their drinks and order another round.
Again, four excellent cool beers 7 chasers are produced, with the bartender again > saying, "That's 20 pence, please." They pay the 20 pence, but their curiosity gets the better of
them. They've each had two beers with chasers and haven't even spent a Quid yet Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve beers with chasers as good as these for a few pence apiece?" "I'm a retired tailor from Preston ," the bartender says, "and I always wanted to own a bar.
Last year I hit the Lottery jackpot for £125 million and
decided to come to the seaside & open this place. Every drink costs 10 pence . Wine, liquor, beer - it's all the same." "Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says. As the four of them
sip at their Drinks, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there. Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the bartender, "What's with them?" The bartender says,

"They're retired people from Yorkshire They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price."
Well, whatever nevermind