Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 382708 times)

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Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #840 on: July 08, 2011, 10:14:41 AM »
 happy001 happy001 happy001

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #841 on: July 08, 2011, 08:57:02 PM »
Just lost my job as a personal shopper in a major department store. A woman asked me "What type of watch would best suit an Afro Caribbean gentleman?"

It would seem that my answer of "A neighbourhood one", was not appreciated..........
lol: lol:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #842 on: July 09, 2011, 09:55:01 AM »
My sister sends me a text:

Quote
There is a fault with my phone at present, but leave me a message and the News of The World will forward it to me later
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #843 on: July 09, 2011, 09:55:47 AM »
My sister sends me a text:

Quote
There is a fault with my phone at present, but leave me a message and the News of The World will forward it to me later


happy001
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #844 on: July 14, 2011, 05:27:32 PM »
Students at a local school were assigned to read two books and write a book report. The books were: 'Titanic' & 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.

One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic:        cost -  $29.99
Clinton :      cost -  $29.99
Titanic:        Over 3 hours to read
Clinton :      Over 3 hours to read
Titanic:       The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton :       The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love,  and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic:        Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton :       Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic:        In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton :       Ditto for Monica.
Titanic:        During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:       Ditto for Monica.
Titanic:        Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton :      Let's not go there.
Titanic:        Rose gets to keep her jewellery
Clinton :      Monica is forced to return her gifts.
Titanic:        Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:      Clinton remembers Monica for the rest of his life.
Titanic:        Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:       Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.
Titanic:        Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton :      Bill goes home to Hilary - basically the same thing.
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #845 on: July 14, 2011, 05:31:39 PM »
 drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #846 on: July 15, 2011, 04:38:29 AM »
Students at a local school were assigned to read two books and write a book report. The books were: 'Titanic' & 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.

One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic:        cost -  $29.99
Clinton :      cost -  $29.99
Titanic:        Over 3 hours to read
Clinton :      Over 3 hours to read
Titanic:       The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton :       The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love,  and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic:        Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton :       Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic:        In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton :       Ditto for Monica.
Titanic:        During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:       Ditto for Monica.
Titanic:        Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton :      Let's not go there.
Titanic:        Rose gets to keep her jewellery
Clinton :      Monica is forced to return her gifts.
Titanic:        Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:      Clinton remembers Monica for the rest of his life.
Titanic:        Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:       Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.
Titanic:        Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton :      Bill goes home to Hilary - basically the same thing.

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline miss Tchevious

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #847 on: July 16, 2011, 11:51:14 AM »
 happy002 feckin excellent!!

Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Guinness)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #848 on: July 16, 2011, 09:02:26 PM »
So, apparently it's just a bit of lighthearted fun when people dress up to go and see Harry Potter at the cinema, but when you do the same for Schindler's List you're some kind of sick weirdo.

Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #849 on: July 16, 2011, 09:08:45 PM »
 ;D

 confused:

 eeek:

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #850 on: July 16, 2011, 10:51:01 PM »
So, apparently it's just a bit of lighthearted fun when people dress up to go and see Harry Potter at the cinema, but when you do the same for Schindler's List you're some kind of sick weirdo.
lol: lol:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #851 on: July 16, 2011, 11:27:34 PM »
So, apparently it's just a bit of lighthearted fun when people dress up to go and see Harry Potter at the cinema, but when you do the same for Schindler's List you're some kind of sick weirdo.

Gonna use that one .............(cheque in the post ....... whistle:)

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #852 on: July 17, 2011, 04:36:29 AM »
So, apparently it's just a bit of lighthearted fun when people dress up to go and see Harry Potter at the cinema, but when you do the same for Schindler's List you're some kind of sick weirdo.

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Guinness)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #853 on: July 17, 2011, 12:40:34 PM »

What's the biggest difference between men and women?

What they mean, when they say: "I got through a whole box of tissues watching that film."

 redface:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #854 on: July 17, 2011, 12:42:42 PM »
happy001
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