Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 382771 times)

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Online Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #495 on: March 14, 2011, 10:07:08 AM »
Miss C posted this on Faceache the other day

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/03/05/perfect-example-of-fiona-bruce-valued-at-antiques-roadshow/

I sent it to a mate who works on the Antiques Roadshow whow has FORWARDED  it to Fiona Bruce  scared2:  redface:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #496 on: March 14, 2011, 11:33:19 AM »
 point:
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Online Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #497 on: March 14, 2011, 11:34:11 AM »
 scared2:
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Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #498 on: March 14, 2011, 11:45:50 AM »
I'll come and visit you in The Tower. ;)
I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #499 on: March 15, 2011, 12:35:09 PM »
The producer of TV drama Midsomer Murders has been suspended after claiming part of the show's appeal was an absence of any ethnic minorities........






It's supposed to be a "who done it?", if they included a black guy, it would make it too easy........

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #500 on: March 15, 2011, 01:10:25 PM »
The producer of TV drama Midsomer Murders has been suspended after claiming part of the show's appeal was an absence of any ethnic minorities........






It's supposed to be a "who done it?", if they included a black guy, it would make it too easy........

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #501 on: March 16, 2011, 09:43:14 PM »
I have often wondered what makes Japanese people tick........

Geiger counters......... rubschin:

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #502 on: March 16, 2011, 10:27:43 PM »
A yellow person slumped over the control panels in a destroyed nuclear power plant.........













No you racist bastards it's an episode of The Simpsons..........

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #503 on: March 17, 2011, 07:21:52 AM »
 lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #504 on: March 18, 2011, 10:53:58 AM »
Wetsuit for sale on ebay:



I bought this wetsuit brand-new last year and have worn it a fair bit. When I say 'fair' I reckon about 20 times, but then probably more like 30. A fair few times anyway.

HOWEVER you will like this, If it was not being worn, it was hung on a hangar or rolled to prevent creasing AND I rinsed it in fresh water after EVERY session so it's in VERY good condition as I look after my gear, I always do, similarly I take care of my body and shower at least once a day and always moisturise. Yes you're probably getting a feel for the kind of man I am. You can see from the pictures it has no creases and looks lovely. My friend Gaz has got a wetsuit that he doesn't look after and it looks like an Elephant's arse, all wrinkled, a bit like an old man's testicle.

You're probably thinking "People p*ss in wetsuits, I'm not sure about a second hand wetsuit", but believe it or not I have NEVER urinated in this suit, seriously, these suits are too good to be doing such a vulgar act in, the wee just ends up staying in the suit and then when you're sat having a post-surf pint in the pub you smell awful and girls don't like boys that smell of p*ss  so you just sit there, alone all night, sobbing into your pint of Betty Stoggs like a lonely desperate p*ss smelling man.

I've included a picture of a bear using a urinal, this is how I normally use the toilet, notice that the animal is not wearing a wetsuit. Although I am not a bear, I, like a bear, do not p*ss in wetsuits.

It's a size medium or "m", it was the top of the range suit when I bought it, I think I paid around 300 for it, still a great warm suit that will make you surf at least 200% better. It won't really but it will keep you warm and it's flexible so you'll be able to throw your arms around like Beyonce whilst you're bouncing along a wave. People will look at you and say "f*ckin hell check that dude out, he knows what he's doing wearing one of those Xcel suits and he's got some fresh dance moves". They probably won't say this.

Now as it's been worn, there's some signs of wear around the neck, which I've taken pictures of, so you don't say "oi you c*nt, there's area of wear around the neck I'm giving you bad feedback". The pictures make it look worse than it is (because they're close-ups), and I've taken the pictures with the suit turned inside out, when it's the right way round you don't see the wear and it has no effect on the performance of the suit. That was a bit boring wasn't it, but it had to be done so you can't take me to eBay court for not being honest with you.

Why am I selling it? Well I've just bought a new one, as I'm a flash tw*t like that, I tend to get a new suit every season, I just like the feel of fresh neoprene on my soft skin, and well to be honest I could do with some cash to pay for prostitutes. No, that was a joke, now you're going to think the suit is riddled with disease but it's not as I was joking I do NOT engage with ladies of the night.

I'll post it out the next working day following cleared payment, or if you're around the Truro area you can come and collect it thus avoiding postage charges. Having said that, if you're a maniac, maybe you should just let me post it to you as I don't want to be murdered to death, especially as the summer is just beginning! WOO HOO.

Any questions just ask, I'll answer them very quickly as I'm sat at a computer all f*cking day, unless there's waves.

Thanks for looking and reading all of that ridiculous text, I hope you have a wonderful day.



p.s. The Q &A after is worth a read as well.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2011, 10:56:28 AM by Uncle Mort »

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #505 on: March 18, 2011, 03:23:18 PM »
Wetsuit for sale on ebay:



I bought this wetsuit brand-new last year and have worn it a fair bit. When I say 'fair' I reckon about 20 times, but then probably more like 30. A fair few times anyway.

HOWEVER you will like this, If it was not being worn, it was hung on a hangar or rolled to prevent creasing AND I rinsed it in fresh water after EVERY session so it's in VERY good condition as I look after my gear, I always do, similarly I take care of my body and shower at least once a day and always moisturise. Yes you're probably getting a feel for the kind of man I am. You can see from the pictures it has no creases and looks lovely. My friend Gaz has got a wetsuit that he doesn't look after and it looks like an Elephant's arse, all wrinkled, a bit like an old man's testicle.

You're probably thinking "People p*ss in wetsuits, I'm not sure about a second hand wetsuit", but believe it or not I have NEVER urinated in this suit, seriously, these suits are too good to be doing such a vulgar act in, the wee just ends up staying in the suit and then when you're sat having a post-surf pint in the pub you smell awful and girls don't like boys that smell of p*ss  so you just sit there, alone all night, sobbing into your pint of Betty Stoggs like a lonely desperate p*ss smelling man.

I've included a picture of a bear using a urinal, this is how I normally use the toilet, notice that the animal is not wearing a wetsuit. Although I am not a bear, I, like a bear, do not p*ss in wetsuits.

It's a size medium or "m", it was the top of the range suit when I bought it, I think I paid around 300 for it, still a great warm suit that will make you surf at least 200% better. It won't really but it will keep you warm and it's flexible so you'll be able to throw your arms around like Beyonce whilst you're bouncing along a wave. People will look at you and say "f*ckin hell check that dude out, he knows what he's doing wearing one of those Xcel suits and he's got some fresh dance moves". They probably won't say this.

Now as it's been worn, there's some signs of wear around the neck, which I've taken pictures of, so you don't say "oi you c*nt, there's area of wear around the neck I'm giving you bad feedback". The pictures make it look worse than it is (because they're close-ups), and I've taken the pictures with the suit turned inside out, when it's the right way round you don't see the wear and it has no effect on the performance of the suit. That was a bit boring wasn't it, but it had to be done so you can't take me to eBay court for not being honest with you.

Why am I selling it? Well I've just bought a new one, as I'm a flash tw*t like that, I tend to get a new suit every season, I just like the feel of fresh neoprene on my soft skin, and well to be honest I could do with some cash to pay for prostitutes. No, that was a joke, now you're going to think the suit is riddled with disease but it's not as I was joking I do NOT engage with ladies of the night.

I'll post it out the next working day following cleared payment, or if you're around the Truro area you can come and collect it thus avoiding postage charges. Having said that, if you're a maniac, maybe you should just let me post it to you as I don't want to be murdered to death, especially as the summer is just beginning! WOO HOO.

Any questions just ask, I'll answer them very quickly as I'm sat at a computer all f*cking day, unless there's waves.

Thanks for looking and reading all of that ridiculous text, I hope you have a wonderful day.



p.s. The Q &A after is worth a read as well.

Excellent!  ;D
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #506 on: March 18, 2011, 03:41:16 PM »
BBC: Finland says it will move the operations of its embassy in Tokyo to Hiroshima as "a precaution" amid the ongoing crisis at the nuclear power plant in Fukushima, Kyodo news agency reports.........



Sometimes this shit just writes itself............

Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Guinness)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #507 on: March 19, 2011, 08:32:31 AM »
I saw a dyslexic Yorkshireman walking round town yesterday with a catflap on his head.

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #508 on: March 19, 2011, 09:16:26 AM »
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #509 on: March 19, 2011, 04:00:27 PM »
I saw a dyslexic Yorkshireman walking round town yesterday with a catflap on his head.

 lol: lol: lol:
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