Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 380118 times)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #60 on: September 13, 2010, 03:00:07 PM »
Oh well, I have now pronounced it officially to be so  whistle:

I'll re-name the thread "Fresh from ye olde poste box then"?  ::)
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #61 on: September 13, 2010, 03:00:54 PM »
You do as you please...it's bound to be wrong  whistle:
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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #62 on: September 13, 2010, 03:05:45 PM »
You do as you please...it's bound to be wrong  whistle:

 evil:
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Offline tel

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #63 on: September 14, 2010, 04:12:49 PM »
Just got sent this, had forgotten all about it -old I know, but -

http://www.youtube.com/user/waffley1999#p/a/f/1/Izet8zN1vmE


     RTFM

Offline Tipsy Gipsy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #64 on: September 16, 2010, 05:46:16 PM »


    The improved National Health Service
     
    The British Medical Association has weighed in on the new Prime Minister David Cameron's health care proposals.

    The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

    The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

    The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception. Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

    Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Paediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

    The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

    Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The ENT specialists wouldn’t hear of it.

The Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anaesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't  have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the arseholes in London.   
It's better than I ever even knew.  They say that the world was built for two.  Only worth living if somebody is loving you.  Baby now you do.

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #65 on: September 18, 2010, 07:48:34 AM »
A man goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your Prostate, take a deep breath and say, '99' ".
The guy obeys and says,"99".
The doctor says, "Great".  Now turn over on your left side and again, I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, '99".
Again, the guy says, '99'."
The doctor said,"Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold  on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, '99'.

The guy begins, "One .. Two ....Three".
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #66 on: September 18, 2010, 09:32:55 AM »
 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Pastis

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #67 on: September 19, 2010, 02:01:46 PM »
Like the Buddhist said to the hot dog vendor...
"Make me one with everything"

Offline Snoopy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #68 on: September 19, 2010, 02:25:04 PM »


I worry about you, I really do  noooo:
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #69 on: September 19, 2010, 02:31:34 PM »
I've heard that record so many times on the radio recently and it's so bloody annoying. The video makes it easier on the ear (just) but I wonder if that was "take #108" when they finally got it right

oh, and thanks for the earworm  cussing:
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Offline Pastis

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #70 on: September 19, 2010, 03:27:12 PM »

I worry about you, I really do  noooo:

You're not the only one ... the relevant numbers are logged as ICE on my mobile  angel1
Like the Buddhist said to the hot dog vendor...
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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #71 on: September 20, 2010, 10:30:55 AM »
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini iItaly went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional the man said: Bless MeFather for I have sinned During World War II a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighbourhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."  The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did and you have no need to confess that."  "There is more to tell Father... She started to repay me with sexual favours
 This happened several times a weekand sometimes twice on Sundays." The priest said "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did> you placed the two of you in great danger. But two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However if you are truly sorry for your actionsyou are indeed forgiven."
  "Thank you Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question."
 "And what is that?" asked the priest.
 
"Should I tell her the war is over?''
 
 
 
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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #72 on: September 20, 2010, 10:52:52 AM »
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini iItaly went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional the man said: Bless MeFather for I have sinned During World War II a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighbourhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."  The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did and you have no need to confess that."  "There is more to tell Father... She started to repay me with sexual favours
 This happened several times a weekand sometimes twice on Sundays." The priest said "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did> you placed the two of you in great danger. But two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However if you are truly sorry for your actionsyou are indeed forgiven."
  "Thank you Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question."
 "And what is that?" asked the priest.
 
"Should I tell her the war is over?''
 
 
 

The Affs would be on that like a shot....  noooo:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #73 on: September 20, 2010, 10:54:08 AM »
 evil:
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