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Author Topic: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread  (Read 48674 times)

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Offline Nick

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #195 on: September 12, 2016, 04:52:40 PM »
 :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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Offline Barman

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #196 on: September 12, 2016, 05:13:39 PM »
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #197 on: September 12, 2016, 05:17:02 PM »
Quote from: Nick on September 12, 2016, 04:19:35 PM
I am homeless for tomorrow night  sad24:

Every hotel for miles around is full and one is advertising its one remaining room for £400 eeek:

Why? SOme sort of farm show and a convention of milk farmers  cussing:

I have found a hotel in Wolverhampton evil: Or a caravan (Tipsy stylee) in the middle of a field  evil:

"Good afternoon and thank you for caling the <insert name here> Hotel, how may I help you?"
"I'd like to book a room for the night"
"No problem sir, I'll just look and see what's available, can I get your name please"
"Nick"
".......................Ah, I'm sorry sir there doesn't appear to be a free room for tonight I'm afraid"
"Is there some kind of event or convention going on, all the hotels seem to be full tonight?"
"Not that I know of sir, sorry I couldn't help"
"Okay, thanks anyway" [Nick hangs up]
"Phew, that was close. Let the manager know he isn't coming here either"

 rubschin:
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Offline Nick

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #198 on: September 12, 2016, 05:17:46 PM »
 evil: evil: evil: evil:
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Offline Steve

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #199 on: September 12, 2016, 07:17:43 PM »
I'm sure one of the Ms Cleavages would put you up for the night so to speak
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Offline Nick

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #200 on: September 13, 2016, 05:21:53 PM »
Went to Wolverhampton University for a meeting this arvo. As I feared, they are a bunch of muppets  cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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Offline Nick

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #201 on: September 13, 2016, 07:57:53 PM »
DInner at a Golf Club. Hysterical. All clients male, pompous middle aged slapheads apart from me and one terrifying lesbian with a shaven head.

All staff on verge of hysteria.

Pretentious menu. I asked what Panko breadcrumbs are. Waitress reported it is Japanese bread. I asked if it was flown in specially.

Almost all cars in the car park have personalised number plates. I informed the manager that henceforth I would be known as EO03KZH (Deed Poll cheaper than DVLA).
03 for short will do  angel1
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Offline Steve

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #202 on: September 13, 2016, 08:04:34 PM »
Quote from: EO03KZH on September 13, 2016, 07:57:53 PM
DInner at a Golf Club. Hysterical. All clients male, pompous middle aged slapheads apart from me and one terrifying lesbian with a shaven head.

All staff on verge of hysteria.

Pretentious menu. I asked what Panko breadcrumbs are. Waitress reported it is Japanese bread. I asked if it was flown in specially.

Almost all cars in the car park have personalised number plates. I informed the manager that henceforth I would be known as EO03KZH (Deed Poll cheaper than DVLA).
03 for short will do  angel1
:thumbsup:
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Offline Nick

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #203 on: September 15, 2016, 03:54:22 PM »
Union rep: I see you around a lot but I don't know who you are
Me: New Interim Director of Marketing
UCU rep: Ah, the Josef Goebbels of TCAT!

 cloud9:
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #204 on: September 15, 2016, 04:12:42 PM »
The cat's a gerbil ???

Blimey  lol:
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Offline Nick

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #205 on: September 15, 2016, 04:15:17 PM »
 Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
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Offline Pirate

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #206 on: September 15, 2016, 06:57:39 PM »
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Offline Nick

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #207 on: September 18, 2016, 01:03:16 PM »
The hotel I am in this week is quite nice and is, weirdly, owned by the local 6th form college!!

It has a pool and spa.

I have Speedos and I am not afraid to use them  eveilgrin:
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Offline Barman

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #208 on: September 18, 2016, 01:06:10 PM »
Quote from: Nick on September 18, 2016, 01:03:16 PM
The hotel I am in this week is quite nice and is, weirdly, owned by the local 6th form college!!

It has a pool and spa.

I have Speedos and I am not afraid to use them  eveilgrin:

facepalm:
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Offline Steve

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Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Telford thread
« Reply #209 on: September 18, 2016, 02:52:42 PM »
Quote from: Barman on September 18, 2016, 01:06:10 PM
Quote from: Nick on September 18, 2016, 01:03:16 PM
The hotel I am in this week is quite nice and is, weirdly, owned by the local 6th form college!!

It has a pool and spa.

I have Speedos and I am not afraid to use them  eveilgrin:

facepalm:
doublefacepalm
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