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Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: apc2010 on February 23, 2015, 01:16:05 PM

Title: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on February 23, 2015, 01:16:05 PM
This year my lemon tree is producing both lemons and oranges (inedible ,used for Cypriot stew )...on advice it turns out they often graph lemon plants onto orange trees....but no explantion why after 6 years it;s gone mental....

So going have to get a man in...... evil:


oh and the new lemons have no pips.... rubschin:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Steve on February 23, 2015, 02:03:58 PM
It is a sign I tell thee . . . . .
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on February 23, 2015, 02:08:00 PM
It is quite interesting how nature works really.......the "orange" branches have huge thorns on them (lemon none ) and now the lemons have no pips ..I guess it's like a hostile take over... rubschin:


Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Steve on February 23, 2015, 02:10:02 PM
We've got an Almond tree a bit like that.  Produces fousands of greengages every year  rubschin:

But if I had a Lemorange tree I'd keep it just as it is
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on February 23, 2015, 02:12:59 PM
We've got an Almond tree a bit like that.  Produces fousands of greengages every year  rubschin:

But if I had a Lemorange tree I'd keep it just as it is

No I use the lemons ...the orange thingy will kill off the lemons.....
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Barman on February 23, 2015, 02:13:17 PM
You have to urinate on Lemon trees - it's a well known fact like...  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on February 23, 2015, 02:14:27 PM
You have to urinate on Lemon trees - it's a well known fact like...  Thumbs:

 eeek:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Barman on February 23, 2015, 02:20:18 PM
You have to urinate on Lemon trees - it's a well known fact like...  Thumbs:

 eeek:

That's your problem right there....  noooo:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on February 23, 2015, 04:51:21 PM
You have to urinate on Lemon trees - it's a well known fact like...  Thumbs:

 eeek:

That's your problem right there....  noooo:

I'll await Darwin for sensible advice....
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 23, 2015, 04:56:45 PM
You have to urinate on Lemon trees - it's a well known fact like...  Thumbs:

 eeek:

That's your problem right there....  noooo:

I'll await Darwin for sensible advice....

Piss on it.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on February 23, 2015, 05:04:53 PM
You have to urinate on Lemon trees - it's a well known fact like...  Thumbs:

 eeek:

That's your problem right there....  noooo:

I'll await Darwin for sensible advice....

Piss on it.  :thumbsup:


 Banghead


 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Nick on February 23, 2015, 05:19:40 PM
Get Foggy to piss on it too!!  Will prolly produce pineapples or Nik Naks after that  noooo:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Barman on February 23, 2015, 05:19:53 PM
You have to urinate on Lemon trees - it's a well known fact like...  Thumbs:

 eeek:

That's your problem right there....  noooo:

I'll await Darwin for sensible advice....

Piss on it.  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Misty on February 23, 2015, 05:43:18 PM
Get Foggy to piss on it too!!  Will prolly produce pineapples or Nik Naks after that  noooo:


 eeek:..... rubschin:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on February 23, 2015, 05:52:29 PM
Get Foggy to piss on it too!!  Will prolly produce pineapples or Nik Naks after that  noooo:

More like grapes........ ::)
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Nick on February 23, 2015, 05:56:04 PM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Barman on February 23, 2015, 07:06:05 PM
Get Foggy to piss on it too!!  Will prolly produce pineapples or Nik Naks after that  noooo:

More like grapes........ ::)

Does she have piles then...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on February 23, 2015, 07:07:32 PM
My poor thread....... noooo:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Steve on February 23, 2015, 07:27:50 PM
your poor tree
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Barman on February 23, 2015, 07:28:49 PM
your poor tree

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 23, 2015, 08:40:51 PM
This year my lemon tree is producing both lemons and oranges (inedible ,used for Cypriot stew )...on advice it turns out they often graph lemon plants onto orange trees....but no explantion why after 6 years it;s gone mental....

So going have to get a man in...... evil:


oh and the new lemons have no pips.... rubschin:

Was Nick anywhere near it when he visited?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Misty on February 23, 2015, 10:20:34 PM
your poor tree

 lol: lol: lol:

my poor reputation.  cry:



and let it be said, piles are nothing to be sniffed at.  noooo:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Baldy on February 23, 2015, 10:22:34 PM
your poor tree

 lol: lol: lol:

my poor reputation.  cry:



and let it be said, piles are nothing to be sniffed at.  noooo:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Steve on February 23, 2015, 10:49:32 PM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Barman on February 24, 2015, 06:21:12 AM
your poor tree

 lol: lol: lol:

my poor reputation.  cry:



and let it be said, piles are nothing to be sniffed at.  noooo:


Eeeewwww!  sick2:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on February 25, 2015, 09:56:46 AM
Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Barman on February 25, 2015, 10:18:52 AM
Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on February 25, 2015, 10:20:25 AM
Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Barman on February 25, 2015, 10:22:30 AM
Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on February 25, 2015, 10:27:05 AM
Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

My chainsaw is gubbed..... evil:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Barman on February 25, 2015, 10:27:48 AM
Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

My chainsaw is gubbed..... evil:

So is mine....  evil:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 25, 2015, 11:08:43 AM
Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

My chainsaw is gubbed..... evil:
Puncture?
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on February 25, 2015, 11:17:35 AM
Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

My chainsaw is gubbed..... evil:
Puncture?

I will...... cussing:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Steve on February 25, 2015, 04:32:36 PM

Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

My chainsaw is gubbed..... evil:

So is mine....  evil:
Not good enough is it?  Modern chainsaws get gubbed after so few massacres nowadays
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Barman on February 25, 2015, 04:40:27 PM

Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

My chainsaw is gubbed..... evil:

So is mine....  evil:
Not good enough is it?  Modern chainsaws get gubbed after so few massacres nowadays

They are only €99 here so I suppose you shouldn't expect too much really.....  noooo:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Misty on February 25, 2015, 08:26:44 PM

Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

My chainsaw is gubbed..... evil:

So is mine....  evil:
Not good enough is it?  Modern chainsaws get gubbed after so few massacres nowadays

They are only €99 here so I suppose you shouldn't expect too much really.....  noooo:


ours was 49... redface: we haven't even used it yet.  noooo:
thats what happens when Apey has to buy things.
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Nick on February 25, 2015, 08:28:57 PM
SO not often then
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Misty on February 25, 2015, 08:30:10 PM
SO not often then

 noooo:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on February 25, 2015, 08:44:01 PM

Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

My chainsaw is gubbed..... evil:

So is mine....  evil:
Not good enough is it?  Modern chainsaws get gubbed after so few massacres nowadays

They are only €99 here so I suppose you shouldn't expect too much really.....  noooo:


ours was 49... redface: we haven't even used it yet.  noooo:
thats what happens when Apey has to buy things.

I used it lots ...........



it may have one last job....... whistle:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Steve on February 25, 2015, 09:15:55 PM
We should have a Save the Mutant Tree campaign

Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Baldy on February 25, 2015, 09:23:12 PM

Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

My chainsaw is gubbed..... evil:

So is mine....  evil:
Not good enough is it?  Modern chainsaws get gubbed after so few massacres nowadays

They are only €99 here so I suppose you shouldn't expect too much really.....  noooo:


ours was 49... redface: we haven't even used it yet.  noooo:
thats what happens when Apey has to buy things.

I used it lots ...........



it may have one last job....... whistle:

Do you think that might shut her up for a while?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Barman on February 26, 2015, 08:24:22 AM

Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

My chainsaw is gubbed..... evil:

So is mine....  evil:
Not good enough is it?  Modern chainsaws get gubbed after so few massacres nowadays

They are only €99 here so I suppose you shouldn't expect too much really.....  noooo:


ours was 49... redface: we haven't even used it yet.  noooo:
thats what happens when Apey has to buy things.

I used it lots ...........



it may have one last job....... whistle:

Do you think that might shut her up for a while?  rubschin:

happy001
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on March 01, 2015, 10:48:58 AM
Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

Nearly right BM.... Shocked:  got to cut it right back....shame really.....lovely mature tree...
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Barman on March 01, 2015, 10:59:56 AM
Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

Nearly right BM.... Shocked:  got to cut it right back....shame really.....lovely mature tree...

Firewood sale!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on March 01, 2015, 11:03:58 AM
Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

Nearly right BM.... Shocked:  got to cut it right back....shame really.....lovely mature tree...

Firewood sale!  Thumbs:

I have an open fire.... Thumbs:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Barman on March 01, 2015, 11:08:05 AM
Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

Nearly right BM.... Shocked:  got to cut it right back....shame really.....lovely mature tree...

Firewood sale!  Thumbs:

I have an open fire.... Thumbs:

Win-win!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: apc2010 on March 01, 2015, 11:15:58 AM
Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

Nearly right BM.... Shocked:  got to cut it right back....shame really.....lovely mature tree...

Firewood sale!  Thumbs:

I have an open fire.... Thumbs:

Win-win!  :thumbsup:

No. I'll have to buy lemons now.... evil:   59 cents a kilo... noooo:
Title: Re: Confused Lemon Tree.....
Post by: Barman on March 01, 2015, 11:55:47 AM
Called a few gardeners........all tell me wot caused it ( I know... cussing: ) but no solutions.... noooo:


" you need a professional" ....   yes that is why I called coz that is wot your fecking advert says...... cussing:

Piss on it!  Thumbs:

 rubschin:  Darwin said that.......

Or chainsaw it!  Thumbs:

Nearly right BM.... Shocked:  got to cut it right back....shame really.....lovely mature tree...

Firewood sale!  Thumbs:

I have an open fire.... Thumbs:

Win-win!  :thumbsup:

No. I'll have to buy lemons now.... evil:   59 cents a kilo... noooo:

Steal them.... ::)