It occurs that you should have got a puncture repair kit while you were there.
I understand that's what the Scottish Regiments do
Scots soldier goes into Boots and the young lady assistant asks if she can help him
"Aye lassie" he rummages in his sporran and pulls out a much repaired condom, almost entirely covered in puncture repair patches and says "Can ye repair these?"
"Errrrr No sir" says the girl, blushing "But we do stock them in packs of three at £3.33 or a pack of ten at £8.99"
Scot rubs his chin "I'll need tae think aboot that ..... d'ye sell them singly?"
................
.................
Girl goes and speaks to the manager and comes back. "We could split a pack and let you have a single one"
"I'll be back afore long" says the Scot and leaves the shop.
Next day he is back brandishing the much repaired item "D'ye remember me?" he asks.
"Oh yes" says the girl, thinking how could I ever forget you.
"Weeellll lassie, the lads in the regiment have authorised me to have a whip round and we'll tak a single one"
