Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 382780 times)

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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1185 on: January 18, 2012, 08:01:59 AM »
 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1186 on: January 21, 2012, 04:56:14 PM »
Divers searching the stricken liner Costa Concordia have found two Glaswegians in the bar. They told the divers to f*ck off, they're on All Inclusive.


In bed watching the telly . There was a bulletin about the Costa Concordia and the presenter mentioned that it was lying on it's side with a gash the size of a tennis court . I just happened to glance at the wife . Boy did she kick off .


I phoned a toy shop earlier. "Do you have any Airfix models of Italian Cruise liners?" I asked.
"Yes, we've got one in stock" says the assistant.
"Excellent" says I. "Can you put it on one side for me?"


George Michael has sympathised with the captain of the stricken Italian liner saying . . .
'I'm often left abandoned and lying on my side with a badly damaged bottom and dead seamen inside me after a nights cruising...

 redface:  redface:  redface:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1187 on: January 21, 2012, 06:06:53 PM »
Divers searching the stricken liner Costa Concordia have found two Glaswegians in the bar. They told the divers to f*ck off, they're on All Inclusive.


In bed watching the telly . There was a bulletin about the Costa Concordia and the presenter mentioned that it was lying on it's side with a gash the size of a tennis court . I just happened to glance at the wife . Boy did she kick off .


I phoned a toy shop earlier. "Do you have any Airfix models of Italian Cruise liners?" I asked.
"Yes, we've got one in stock" says the assistant.
"Excellent" says I. "Can you put it on one side for me?"


George Michael has sympathised with the captain of the stricken Italian liner saying . . .
'I'm often left abandoned and lying on my side with a badly damaged bottom and dead seamen inside me after a nights cruising...

 redface:  redface:  redface:

happy002
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Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1188 on: January 21, 2012, 07:10:12 PM »
George Michael has sympathised with the captain of the stricken Italian liner saying . . .
'I'm often left abandoned and lying on my side with a badly damaged bottom and dead seamen inside me after a nights cruising...


 eeek:

 happy001 happy001 happy001

Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Guinness)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1189 on: January 22, 2012, 11:44:53 AM »
I told my wife "I've got a new job having sex, live on stage"

She said "Are you having me on ?"

I replied "I'll ask my boss, but so far they've all been thin and pretty"

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1190 on: January 22, 2012, 11:45:41 AM »
I told my wife "I've got a new job having sex, live on stage"

She said "Are you having me on ?"

I replied "I'll ask my boss, but so far they've all been thin and pretty"

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1191 on: January 22, 2012, 11:46:17 AM »
 happy002
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1192 on: January 22, 2012, 11:47:13 AM »
I bought the wife a Smart car


It keeps hiding from her.

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1193 on: January 22, 2012, 11:49:57 AM »
I bought the wife a Smart car


It keeps hiding from her.

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1194 on: January 22, 2012, 04:51:16 PM »
I bought the wife a Smart car


It keeps hiding from her.

 happy001 happy001
I mostly despair

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1195 on: January 26, 2012, 11:59:15 PM »
Latest news from the African Nations Cup :
6 stone 2 pounds Ugandan striker Bobo Umfoofoo was visibly upset during last nights game after chants from the Somalian crowd of "You fat bastard" and "Who ate all the flies"........

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1196 on: January 27, 2012, 11:35:02 AM »
Latest news from the African Nations Cup :
6 stone 2 pounds Ugandan striker Bobo Umfoofoo was visibly upset during last nights game after chants from the Somalian crowd of "You fat bastard" and "Who ate all the flies"........

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1197 on: January 28, 2012, 07:30:35 AM »
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1198 on: January 28, 2012, 09:05:30 PM »
Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the 'Clio' and the 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.

It comes in pink. The average male car thief won't be able to find it let alone turn it on , even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it. Rumour has it though that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real bitch to start in the morning.
Skubber

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1199 on: January 28, 2012, 09:06:15 PM »
Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the 'Clio' and the 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.

It comes in pink. The average male car thief won't be able to find it let alone turn it on , even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it. Rumour has it though that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real bitch to start in the morning.

AFFS!  ::)
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