Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 732464 times)

0 Members and 5 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Just One More

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 26767
  • Reputation: 0
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1170 on: January 10, 2012, 07:30:04 PM »
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64679
  • Reputation: -2

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 151938
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64679
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1173 on: January 13, 2012, 03:14:44 AM »
It is nice to see Natasha Giggs in big brother..........

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 151938
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1174 on: January 13, 2012, 06:26:35 AM »
Is the Thatcher film rated PG because it's not suitable for miners?
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Uncle Mort

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 21217
  • Reputation: 2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1175 on: January 13, 2012, 07:04:20 AM »
 drumroll:

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 39138
  • Reputation: 6
  • I mostly despair
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1176 on: January 13, 2012, 08:31:50 AM »
Is the Thatcher film rated PG because it's not suitable for miners?
lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline Miss Demeanour

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 36010
  • Reputation: 2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1177 on: January 15, 2012, 10:30:13 AM »
What’s the name of Zippy’s wife ?
Mississippi


How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in a microwave until its Bill Withers

Skubber

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 151938
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1178 on: January 15, 2012, 10:35:37 AM »
[groans]
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline The Moan Ranger

  • Administrator
  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 13952
  • Reputation: 1
  • No surrender
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1179 on: January 16, 2012, 01:43:19 PM »
Hans, a middle-aged German tourist on his first visit to Orlando, Florida, finds the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away!

Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear, and she too screams, "No!"and walks quickly away.

The madam is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with him. She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do.

Lola has never said no, and it's not likely anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Hans. The sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!" and smacks him as hard as she can and leaves.

Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she's sure she has said yes to everything a man could possibly ask for. She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so angry. Besides she sees a chance to teach her employees a lesson.

So she goes over to Hans and says that she's the best in the house and is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic, giggle, drink and then she sits in his lap.Hans leans forwards and whispers in her ear, "Can I pay in Euros?"


Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 151938
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1180 on: January 16, 2012, 04:24:48 PM »
Hans, a middle-aged German tourist on his first visit to Orlando, Florida, finds the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away!

Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear, and she too screams, "No!"and walks quickly away.

The madam is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with him. She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do.

Lola has never said no, and it's not likely anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Hans. The sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!" and smacks him as hard as she can and leaves.

Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she's sure she has said yes to everything a man could possibly ask for. She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so angry. Besides she sees a chance to teach her employees a lesson.

So she goes over to Hans and says that she's the best in the house and is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic, giggle, drink and then she sits in his lap.Hans leans forwards and whispers in her ear, "Can I pay in Euros?"

 lol: lol: lol:

I thought it was going to be the 'Hans that do dishes...' joke!  redface:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline bodiam

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 522
  • Reputation: 0
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1181 on: January 17, 2012, 12:58:35 PM »
Lionel Richie has cancelled his latest tour which was to be on a cruise liner. Apparently ''Dancing on the ceiling'' does not have the same appeal any more
I started my life with nothing and I still have most of it left

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 39138
  • Reputation: 6
  • I mostly despair
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1182 on: January 17, 2012, 02:15:31 PM »
Lionel Richie has cancelled his latest tour which was to be on a cruise liner. Apparently ''Dancing on the ceiling'' does not have the same appeal any more

 lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64679
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1183 on: January 17, 2012, 09:23:20 PM »
Attention passengers this is your captain, We of Carnival Cruise Lines Costa Concordia welcome you to Italy. If you look out the port side now you'll see the beautiful Tuscan sky and to our starboard you'll see the old Italian navy................

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64679
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1184 on: January 18, 2012, 05:01:05 AM »
Just bought a lottery ticket to win a cruise round the mediterranean,

last weeks was a rollover..........