Fresh from the Inbox

[Miss Demeanour]

Oh BM 

[Barman]

Oh BM 

Wha...?

[The Moan Ranger]

"There is nothing worse than fading into anonymous obscurity."

- Unknown

[Nick]

 

[Barman]

"There is nothing worse than fading into anonymous obscurity."

- Unknown

 

[Miss Demeanour]

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of jelly and ice cream. It's a breeze."

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says," A circumcision."

The second kid says, "Whoa, Good luck buddy! I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."

[The Moan Ranger]

And who said women can't tell jokes ;-)

[Miss Demeanour]

Sir Alex Ferguson has responded to the anguish of his fans and offered to provide counselling and support if needed.

A free 24hour helpline has been set up . Anyone  affected by yesterday's events should contact 0800 616161

[Nick]

[Darwins Selection]

[apc2010]

What a selfish cunt Jimmy Saville is.
I wrote to that old scrote, asking him to fix it for me to meet Michael Jackson, but he's gone on his own instead..........

[The Moan Ranger]

A young lad knocked on the door last night and said "Trick or Treat?"
I said "What have you come as?"
He said "A werewolf."
I said "But you haven't got a costume on, you're just in normal clothes"
He said "Well it's not a full moon yet is it, dickhead?"

Cunt.

[Barman]

What a selfish cunt Jimmy Saville is.
I wrote to that old scrote, asking him to fix it for me to meet Michael Jackson, but he's gone on his own instead..........

[Just One More]

Out on the golf course four guys are waiting at the mens tee while four women are hitting from the ladies' tee.  The ladies are taking their time
When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it 10 feet.  Then she goes over and misses it completely.  Then she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it another five feet.
 
She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically, "I guess all those fucking lessons I took over the winter didn't help." 
 
One of the men immediately responds,  "Well, there you have it.  You should have taken golf lessons instead!" 


He never even had a chance to duck.  He was 43......................poor sod 

[Barman]