Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 381463 times)

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Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Guinness)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1005 on: October 14, 2011, 07:17:58 AM »
Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have no jobs, no cash and no f***ing hope

Better hope Kevin Bacon doesn't die!

And P.S. I bet the whole of Ethiopia are shitting it that Anneka Rice don't snuff it.

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1006 on: October 14, 2011, 08:02:48 AM »
Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have no jobs, no cash and no f***ing hope

Better hope Kevin Bacon doesn't die!

And P.S. I bet the whole of Ethiopia are shitting it that Anneka Rice don't snuff it.

Not to mention the Greeks and the Loan Ranger.  redface:
I mostly despair

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1007 on: October 14, 2011, 06:20:52 PM »
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Devon, are excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to
discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemist.  Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob asks the man behind the counter, "Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist says, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds. "
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about suppositories?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We certainly do."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob: "Adult incontinence pants?"
Pharmacist: "Certainly."







Jacob: "We'd like to use this shop for our wedding presents list..."
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Tipsy Gipsy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1008 on: October 14, 2011, 07:12:19 PM »
 lol: lol: lol:
It's better than I ever even knew.  They say that the world was built for two.  Only worth living if somebody is loving you.  Baby now you do.

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1009 on: October 16, 2011, 11:56:53 AM »
Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have no jobs, no cash and no f***ing hope

Better hope Kevin Bacon doesn't die!

And P.S. I bet the whole of Ethiopia are shitting it that Anneka Rice don't snuff it.

Not to mention the Greeks and the Loan Ranger.  redface:

 drumroll:  lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1010 on: October 17, 2011, 08:26:26 PM »
If you had purchased 1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have 49.00 today.
 
If you had purchased 1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have 33.00 today.

If you had purchased 1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have 0.00 today.
 
But, if you had purchased 1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then crushed in the aluminum cans for recycling, you would have received a 214.00 payment from the scrap metal dealer.

Based on the above, without doubt, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.


A recent study found that the average Briton walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found that Britons drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

That means that, on average, Britons get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you proud to be British, doesn't it?  :thumbsup:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1011 on: October 18, 2011, 05:31:10 AM »
If you had purchased 1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have 49.00 today.
 
If you had purchased 1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have 33.00 today.

If you had purchased 1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have 0.00 today.
 
But, if you had purchased 1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then crushed in the aluminium cans for recycling, you would have received a 214.00 payment from the scrap metal dealer.

Based on the above, without doubt, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.



I'm sure this is an AFFS moment but I can't find it... perhaps it was at the other place....  rubschin:
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1012 on: October 18, 2011, 06:07:24 AM »
Or perhaps you are mistaken  scared2:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1013 on: October 18, 2011, 06:12:22 AM »
Again  whistle:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1014 on: October 18, 2011, 06:25:05 AM »
I remember debunking getting 1,000 of beer and 214 back for the cans....  rubschin:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1015 on: October 18, 2011, 06:38:11 AM »
Well aluminium cans are worth ~950 per tonne...

So you'd have to get ~200Kg of cans with your 1,000 of beer for it to be valid...

A can weighs ~15g so you'd have to have bought 13,000 tins of beer with your 1,000 at ~ 0.08p each....  rubschin:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1016 on: October 18, 2011, 06:40:53 AM »
You are obviously rushed off your feet today  point:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Snoopy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1017 on: October 18, 2011, 06:42:00 AM »
Well aluminium cans are worth ~950 per tonne...

So you'd have to get ~200Kg of cans with your 1,000 of beer for it to be valid...

A can weighs ~15g so you'd have to have bought 13,000 tins of beer with your 1,000 at ~ 0.08p each....  rubschin:


Don't you think this is taking pedantry just a tad too far ..... even by our standards?  ;)
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1018 on: October 18, 2011, 06:45:26 AM »
Well aluminium cans are worth ~950 per tonne...

So you'd have to get ~200Kg of cans with your 1,000 of beer for it to be valid...

A can weighs ~15g so you'd have to have bought 13,000 tins of beer with your 1,000 at ~ 0.08p each....  rubschin:


Don't you think this is taking pedantry just a tad too far ..... even by our standards?  ;)

Oh noes...  lol:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1019 on: October 18, 2011, 06:52:07 AM »
Well aluminium cans are worth ~950 per tonne...

So you'd have to get ~200Kg of cans with your 1,000 of beer for it to be valid...

A can weighs ~15g so you'd have to have bought 13,000 tins of beer with your 1,000 at ~ 0.08p each....  rubschin:


Don't you think this is taking pedantry just a tad too far ..... even by our standards?  ;)

Oh noes...  lol:

Fair 'nuff  :thumbsup:
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.