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Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 380500 times)

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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #945 on: August 31, 2011, 05:44:06 PM »
Can't get the staff these day, eh BM?

Nope...  noooo:
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Online Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #946 on: August 31, 2011, 05:47:35 PM »
Towards the end of the Jurassic Period, the Thesaurus was the first dinosaur to become extinct, obsolete, belated, vanished and wiped out.

 lol:  lol:  lol:

You're supposed to post five....  ::)

Me sides were hurting too much  whistle:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #947 on: August 31, 2011, 05:49:19 PM »
Towards the end of the Jurassic Period, the Thesaurus was the first dinosaur to become extinct, obsolete, belated, vanished and wiped out.

 lol:  lol:  lol:

You're supposed to post five....  ::)

Me sides were hurting too much  whistle:

Epic fail...  ::)
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Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Guinness)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #948 on: August 31, 2011, 09:06:26 PM »
Why do men twist their wedding rings?

They are trying to work out the combination.

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #949 on: September 01, 2011, 04:00:43 AM »
Why do men twist their wedding rings?

They are trying to work out the combination.

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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #950 on: September 02, 2011, 02:43:04 PM »
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.
Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.
Regards, David.




From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.
Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.
Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?
Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Yes please.
Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached <spider.gif>




From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane,
Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.
Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,
Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95.
Please make this payment as soon as possible.
Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me.
I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.
Regards, David.


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.
Regards, David.



 
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,
As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.
Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definitely make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.
Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached <spider2.gif>


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Offline Snoopy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #951 on: September 02, 2011, 02:45:47 PM »
 Popcorn:
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #952 on: September 02, 2011, 04:43:02 PM »
I might give that a try with Wandsworth COuncil  angel1
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Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Guinness)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #953 on: September 05, 2011, 10:50:35 AM »
Science shows that owls have the sharpest hearing on the planet.

They have clearly never tested a man watching porn whilst his wife is asleep.

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #954 on: September 05, 2011, 12:07:28 PM »
Science shows that owls have the sharpest hearing on the planet.

They have clearly never tested a man watching porn whilst his wife is asleep.


 lol: lol: lol: lol:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #955 on: September 05, 2011, 01:44:32 PM »
Science shows that owls have the sharpest hearing on the planet.

They have clearly never tested a man watching porn whilst his wife is asleep.

 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Online Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #956 on: September 05, 2011, 02:58:36 PM »
 lol:  lol:  lol:  lol:  lol:  lol:
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Online Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #957 on: September 05, 2011, 02:59:28 PM »
Did I do it right Barman, did I do it right?  ;D
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #958 on: September 05, 2011, 03:21:35 PM »
Did I do it right Barman, did I do it right?  ;D

You did! Good lad!  :thumbsup:
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #959 on: September 06, 2011, 05:16:16 AM »
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge Heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral.....I'm a gynecologist".
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