Fresh from the Inbox

[Barman]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4nPwztC-eU&NR=1

 

[Barman]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N1sjdLQIj8&NR=1

[apc2010]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N1sjdLQIj8&NR=1

 

[apc2010]

BBC News: Countdown for the Royal Wedding........



Cool. I'll take a consonant, a vowel, a consonant, another consonant, a vowel, and two more consonants.



FUCK OFF .........

[Barman]

 

[Baldy]

My friend came round last week to tell me he had been to the clinic to have some tests.

"What was the diagnosis" I asked. "It's the big C" he replied.

"Not cancer!" said I. "No" said he, "dyslexia".

[Barman]

My friend came round last week to tell me he had been to the clinic to have some tests.

"What was the diagnosis" I asked. "It's the big C" he replied.

"Not cancer!" said I. "No" said he, "dyslexia".

[apc2010]

I applied to that "cash in the attic" programme ..

Bastards sold all the beams and my loft insulation ......

[Barman]

 

[Just One More]

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on  it he reckoned he could stop any time....

I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed  her over.

A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said. "A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do."

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were  £70!!! Bollockss to that I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably  and looked very miserable.. I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown

[Just One More]

I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...but she did.
   
Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a labrador."
"f*ck that" says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind"
 

A man walks into a Welsh pub and orders a white wine spritzer. The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him..."Where are you from? You sound English",
"I'm from across the Severn," replies the man nervously.
"What do you do, just across the Severn?",
"I'm a taxidermist."
"What on earth is one of those?"
"I mount animals."
"Its alright boys," shouts the barman he's one of us.
 

Spent £40 on ebay last week for a p*nis enlarger. Just opened it and some bastard's sent me a magnifying glass!
 
 
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse.
 

[Barman]

 

Mr. Keyboard - meet Mr. Collapso!

Top Man! 

[Miss Demeanour]

A royal wedding, 4 days off, Man Utd losing, Osama bin Laden being killed, Carlsberg don't normally do bank holidays but they thought, fuck it , we will do this one.

[Baldy]

A royal wedding, 4 days off, Man Utd losing, Osama bin Laden being killed, Carlsberg don't normally do bank holidays but they thought, fuck it , we will do this one.

 

[Barman]

A royal wedding, 4 days off, Man Utd losing, Osama bin Laden being killed, Carlsberg don't normally do bank holidays but they thought, fuck it , we will do this one.