Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 380137 times)

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Online Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #570 on: April 17, 2011, 04:23:07 PM »
It made I larf
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Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #571 on: April 17, 2011, 05:27:40 PM »
Why?  rubschin:

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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #573 on: April 17, 2011, 05:42:49 PM »
I fear Nick has a new obsession  noooo:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #575 on: April 17, 2011, 05:49:21 PM »
I just read some of the comments after the article. I'm less clear about it now than I was before  whacky115
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #576 on: April 17, 2011, 10:51:07 PM »
A German, a Chinese, an African, an Englishman, and an American were approached by a researcher who asked:
"Excuse me, can you give me your opinion about the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

This confused tham all.
The African didn't understand what she meant by 'food'
The Englishman didn't understand what she meant by 'shortage'
The Chinese didn't understand what she meant by 'your opinion'
The American didn't understand what she meant by 'the rest of the world'





and the German didn't understand what she meant by 'excuse me'

 
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #577 on: April 18, 2011, 05:39:18 AM »
 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #578 on: April 19, 2011, 12:33:14 PM »
So I've been chatting with this 13 year old girl online. Shes funny, flirty and sexy. Now she tells me shes an undercover cop,........




 how cool is that for someone her age..........

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #579 on: April 19, 2011, 01:17:54 PM »
So I've been chatting with this 13 year old girl online. Shes funny, flirty and sexy. Now she tells me shes an undercover cop,........




 how cool is that for someone her age..........

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #580 on: April 19, 2011, 02:47:56 PM »
So I've been chatting with this 13 year old girl on line. Shes funny, flirty and sexy. Now she tells me shes an undercover cop,........




 how cool is that for someone her age..........

Paedophile is a very big word for her .....

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #581 on: April 19, 2011, 05:57:23 PM »
My mate got sent to prison last month, I send him a letter each week. So far I've sent him P A E D
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #582 on: April 19, 2011, 06:34:20 PM »
My mate got sent to prison last month, I send him a letter each week. So far I've sent him P A E D

happy001
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Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #583 on: April 19, 2011, 10:30:23 PM »
   Two lawyers had been stranded on a  desert  island for several
  months. The only thing on the island  was a tall coconut tree that
  provided them their only food. Each day  one of the lawyers would 
  climb to the top to see if he could  spot a rescue boat coming. 
  One day the lawyer yelled down from the  tree, "WOW, I just can't 
  believe my eyes. There is a woman out  there floating in our
  direction." 
  The lawyer on the ground was most  skeptical and said, "You're 
  hallucinating; you've finally lost your  mind."
  But within a few minutes, up to the  beach floated a stunning red 
  head, face up, totally naked,  unconscious, without even so much as a 
  ring or earrings on her person. 
  The two lawyers went down to the water,  dragged her up on the beach 
  and discovered, yes, she was alive,  warm and breathing.
  One said to the other, "You know, we've  been on this God forsaken 
  island for months now without a woman. 
  It's been such a long, long time....So  ...  do you think we should ..   
  well ...  you know ...  screw  her?"
  "Out of WHAT?!?" asked the other 

Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #584 on: April 20, 2011, 06:42:40 PM »
Elephants and memory

        This is an Incredible story!
       
       
        In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating
from Northwestern University .

        On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant
standing with one leg raised in the air.
       
        The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very
carefully.
       
        He got down on one knee, inspected the elephant's foot, and
found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.
       
        As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood
out with his knife, after which the elephant
        gingerly put down its foot.
       
        The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious
look on its face, stared at him for
        several tense moments... Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing
else but being trampled.
       
        Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked
away.
       
        Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
       
        Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo
with his teenage son.
       
        As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures
turned and walked over to near where Peter
        and his son Cameron were standing.
       
        The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot
off the ground, then put it down.
       
        The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all
the while staring at the man.
       
        Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help
wondering if this was the same elephant.
       
        Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and
made his way into the enclosure.
       
        He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
       
        The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of
Peter legs and slammed him against
        the railing, killing him instantly.
       
        Probably wasn't the same elephant..

       
        This is for everyone
        who sends me those
        heart-warming
        bullshit stories...