Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 389436 times)

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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #390 on: February 01, 2011, 05:13:16 PM »
Where what is?  rubschin:
Warning: May contain Skub
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #391 on: February 01, 2011, 05:18:58 PM »
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #392 on: February 01, 2011, 06:08:01 PM »
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied.




A 3-year-old girl examined her vagina while taking a bath.
'Mum', she asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Whatís that?' she replied.

 redface:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #393 on: February 01, 2011, 06:12:50 PM »
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal.

He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.

The rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.

The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.

'Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

'I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.

'He bested me at every move and I could not continue.'

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won.

'I haven't a clue' the rabbi said. 'First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger.

'Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here.'

'And then what?' asked a woman.

'Who knows?' said the rabbi. 'He took out his lunch so I took out mine.'

 ;D
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #394 on: February 03, 2011, 11:41:09 PM »
A man goes into Waterstones and asks the young lady assistant, "Do you have the new book out for men with short penises?

She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet."

"That's the one, I'll take a copy."


LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #395 on: February 04, 2011, 07:30:56 AM »
Groanio....  noooo:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #396 on: February 04, 2011, 12:32:52 PM »
A man goes into Waterstones and asks the young lady assistant, "Do you have the new book out for men with short penises?

She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet."

"That's the one, I'll take a copy."


Another half-cocked funny from the JOM inbox.
I mostly despair

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #397 on: February 07, 2011, 06:37:14 AM »
I've just booked the table for Valentines night

TBH, I don't even know if she can play snooker
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Snoopy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #398 on: February 07, 2011, 06:42:01 AM »
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #399 on: February 07, 2011, 06:42:37 AM »
I've just booked the table for Valentines night

TBH, I don't even know if she can play snooker

happy001
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #400 on: February 07, 2011, 06:49:50 AM »


Decisions, decisions, I'll take the pink  redface:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Snoopy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #401 on: February 07, 2011, 06:53:41 AM »
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #402 on: February 07, 2011, 07:00:33 AM »
BOYS!  eeek:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #403 on: February 07, 2011, 07:10:29 AM »
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #404 on: February 07, 2011, 07:11:20 AM »
BOYS!  eeek:

Just cos we beat you to it  point:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie