Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 380146 times)

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Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #105 on: October 07, 2010, 06:50:39 PM »
There are a number of tightrope walkers out today. Must be a convention  rubschin:

happy001

Not me Miss...  angel1
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #106 on: October 07, 2010, 07:00:06 PM »
No ...the clowns couldn't spare you I heard  whistle:
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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #107 on: October 07, 2010, 07:02:22 PM »
No ...the clowns couldn't spare you I heard  whistle:

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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #108 on: October 07, 2010, 08:16:35 PM »
No ...the clowns couldn't spare you I heard  whistle:

Be nice Miss D, I think I upset BM earlier and we don't want him to feel too picked on  lol:
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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #109 on: October 08, 2010, 04:35:11 AM »
No ...the clowns couldn't spare you I heard  whistle:

Be nice Miss D, I think I upset BM earlier and we don't want him to feel too picked on  lol:

Mock if you wish...  sad24:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #110 on: October 10, 2010, 09:31:26 PM »
"When I was a boy, mother would send me down to the corner shop with 3, and I'd come back with five pounds of potatoes, two loaves of bread,

three pints of milk, a pound of cheese, a large box of teabags, and a half a dozen eggs.

You can't do that now.

Too many fuckin' security cameras."
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #111 on: October 11, 2010, 04:25:43 AM »
"When I was a boy, mother would send me down to the corner shop with 3, and I'd come back with five pounds of potatoes, two loaves of bread,

three pints of milk, a pound of cheese, a large box of teabags, and a half a dozen eggs.

You can't do that now.

Too many fuckin' security cameras."


 lol: lol: lol:
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Online Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #112 on: October 11, 2010, 06:07:18 AM »
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether
or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
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Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #113 on: October 11, 2010, 06:25:49 AM »
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether
or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"


The Affs!   ::)
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Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #114 on: October 11, 2010, 06:28:24 AM »
Worse still, Nick posted it the last time too!   point:

So Nick, do you want a bed near the window? happy001
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Online Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #115 on: October 11, 2010, 06:29:15 AM »
 Angry9:
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Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #116 on: October 11, 2010, 02:37:03 PM »
A Professor of Economics explains the TAX SYSTEM IN BEER. .

 THE TAX SYSTEM EXPLAINED IN BEER

Suppose that once a week, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to 100.If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this..

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay 1.
The sixth would pay 3.
The seventh would pay 7.
The eighth would pay 12.
The ninth would pay 18.
And the tenth man (the richest) would pay 59.
So, that's what they decided to do.The ten men drank in the bar every week and seemed quite happy with the arrangement until, one day, the owner caused them a little problem. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your weekly beer by 20." Drinks for the ten men would now cost just 80.

 

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free but what about the other six men? The paying customers? How could they divide the 20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share? They realized that 20 divided by six is 3.33 but if they subtracted that from everybody's share then not only would the first four men still be drinking for free but the fifth  and sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

 

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fairer to reduce each man's bill by a higher percentage. They decided to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.

And so, the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (a100% saving).
The sixth man now paid 2 instead of 3 (a 33% saving).
The seventh man now paid 5 instead of 7 (a 28% saving).
The eighth man now paid 9 instead of 12 (a 25% saving).
The ninth man now paid 14 instead of 18 (a 22% saving).
And the tenth man now paid 49 instead of 59 (a 16% saving).
Each of the last six was better off than before with the first four continuing to drink for free.

 

 But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings. "I only got 1 out of the 20 saving," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, "but he got 10!"

 

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a 1 too. It's unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!"

 

"That's true!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get 10 back, when I only got 2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

 

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "we didn't get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!" The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

 

The next week the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important - they didn't have enough money between all of them to pay for even half of the bill!

 

And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how our tax system works. The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy and they just might not show up anymore.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics.
For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible

Offline Snoopy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #117 on: October 11, 2010, 03:06:34 PM »
Most excellent!












 rubschin:
So the beers are all on BM ~ Or they would be if he hadn't fled the country.
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Pirate

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #118 on: October 11, 2010, 06:58:33 PM »
Excellent. I have copied for future use (somewhere)  Shrugs: (Didn't see a copyright attached)

It will prolly be in Snoopy's next parish magazine anyhoo... ;)
« Last Edit: October 11, 2010, 07:03:05 PM by Pirate »

Online Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #119 on: October 11, 2010, 07:02:02 PM »
Most excellent!












 rubschin:
So the beers are all on BM ~ Or they would be if he hadn't fled the country.

He is a donkey head
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