Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 458963 times)

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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6225 on: September 20, 2020, 02:15:08 PM »
What is it with some people?

You offer a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.

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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6226 on: September 21, 2020, 11:27:46 AM »
I stopped my car in a lay-by last night and had sex with a complete stranger. As I sat there with one hand on the steering wheel, she suddenly climbed on top of me and said, "The deal is you must pull out just before ejaculating." I agreed and a few minutes later, as I got the urge to shoot my load, I quickly pulled out...........


Knocking some poor c£$t off his motorbike......... noooo:

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6227 on: September 21, 2020, 11:29:16 AM »
I stopped my car in a lay-by last night and had sex with a complete stranger. As I sat there with one hand on the steering wheel, she suddenly climbed on top of me and said, "The deal is you must pull out just before ejaculating." I agreed and a few minutes later, as I got the urge to shoot my load, I quickly pulled out...........


Knocking some poor c£$t off his motorbike......... noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6228 on: September 21, 2020, 11:42:14 AM »
I stopped my car in a lay-by last night and had sex with a complete stranger. As I sat there with one hand on the steering wheel, she suddenly climbed on top of me and said, "The deal is you must pull out just before ejaculating." I agreed and a few minutes later, as I got the urge to shoot my load, I quickly pulled out...........


Knocking some poor c£$t off his motorbike......... noooo:

happy001
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6229 on: September 21, 2020, 05:01:40 PM »
I stopped my car in a lay-by last night and had sex with a complete stranger. As I sat there with one hand on the steering wheel, she suddenly climbed on top of me and said, "The deal is you must pull out just before ejaculating." I agreed and a few minutes later, as I got the urge to shoot my load, I quickly pulled out...........


Knocking some poor c£$t off his motorbike......... noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6230 on: September 24, 2020, 10:15:46 PM »
My mate had builders in doing an extension and his five year old daughter decided to help. The builders gave her little jobs to do to make her feel part of the team.
At the end of the week she was presented with her 'wage packet', which consisted of £2 in small change. Her father took her to the bank to open an account with the money and she duly handed it over to the cashier.....

The cashier asked how she had earned the money and she said she was helping Steve, Big Harry and Wayne build an extension.....

"Wonderful." said the cashier, " and will you be helping them next week too."??.....



She said, " I will if those wankers from Jewsons deliver the fucking bricks on time."

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6231 on: September 24, 2020, 11:06:49 PM »
Got to be an Affs, it's in Bill Bryson's book I read in 2000
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6232 on: September 25, 2020, 04:06:40 AM »
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6233 on: October 06, 2020, 05:22:55 PM »
Itís with great sadness we have to inform all our family and friends that in the early hours of the morning of 20th December,
our much loved turkey, Gobbles, will pass away.
The cremation will be held at ours at around 2pm on the 25th December .
Obviously Covid-19 restrictions will apply. We are limited to 30 mourners (including the turkey).
No flowers please but if you would like to make a contribution things like potatoes, carrots, green veg and alcohol will do.
RIP Gobbles.
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6234 on: October 06, 2020, 05:42:43 PM »
Itís with great sadness we have to inform all our family and friends that in the early hours of the morning of 20th December,
our much loved turkey, Gobbles, will pass away.
The cremation will be held at ours at around 2pm on the 25th December .
Obviously Covid-19 restrictions will apply. We are limited to 30 mourners (including the turkey).
No flowers please but if you would like to make a contribution things like potatoes, carrots, green veg and alcohol will do.
RIP Gobbles.

It is obvious that you don't do FaceArse...  lol:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6235 on: October 06, 2020, 05:45:26 PM »
Itís with great sadness we have to inform all our family and friends that in the early hours of the morning of 20th December,
our much loved turkey, Gobbles, will pass away.
The cremation will be held at ours at around 2pm on the 25th December .
Obviously Covid-19 restrictions will apply. We are limited to 30 mourners (including the turkey).
No flowers please but if you would like to make a contribution things like potatoes, carrots, green veg and alcohol will do.
RIP Gobbles.

It is obvious that you don't do FaceArse...  lol:
And proud of it  :thumbsup:
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6236 on: October 06, 2020, 05:49:17 PM »
Itís with great sadness we have to inform all our family and friends that in the early hours of the morning of 20th December,
our much loved turkey, Gobbles, will pass away.
The cremation will be held at ours at around 2pm on the 25th December .
Obviously Covid-19 restrictions will apply. We are limited to 30 mourners (including the turkey).
No flowers please but if you would like to make a contribution things like potatoes, carrots, green veg and alcohol will do.
RIP Gobbles.

It is obvious that you don't do FaceArse...  lol:
And proud of it  :thumbsup:

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6237 on: October 08, 2020, 11:03:49 AM »
I told the wife "The kids haven't eaten their sandwiches."
"OK" she said, "Just throw them out."
So I'm now just packing their suitcases.
LOOK, I'm just as surprised as you are!!!!
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6238 on: October 08, 2020, 11:05:07 AM »
I told the wife "The kids haven't eaten their sandwiches."
"OK" she said, "Just throw them out."
So I'm now just packing their suitcases.
LOOK, I'm just as surprised as you are!!!!

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6239 on: October 14, 2020, 03:32:06 PM »
Last night the wife randomly started saying this:
"I was born in 1892 in Bloemfontein. I wrote The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings..."

 She was Tolkien in her sleep!
Well, whatever nevermind