The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[Grumpmeister]

Got invited into next door this avro..... they have a splendid bed. 

He is a lucky bloke when I turn the intermong off......Lucky bastard. 

I thought she was a prossy next door...? 

Nope. 

She came off the game and got a 'boyfriend' he is one lucky chap despite her background.....all the bits in the right places. 

Baldly going where every man has gone before you say? 

 

You would not turn it down.......sorry you prolly would, not hairy enough.

 

LL is a wookie you say? 

[Baldy]

Got invited into next door this avro..... they have a splendid bed. 

He is a lucky bloke when I turn the intermong off......Lucky bastard. 

I thought she was a prossy next door...? 

Nope. 

She came off the game and got a 'boyfriend' he is one lucky chap despite her background.....all the bits in the right places. 

Baldly going where every man has gone before you say? 

 

You would not turn it down.......sorry you prolly would, not hairy enough.

 

LL is a wookie you say? 

LL puts up with his strange ways you say? 

[Grumpmeister]

Got invited into next door this avro..... they have a splendid bed. 

He is a lucky bloke when I turn the intermong off......Lucky bastard. 

I thought she was a prossy next door...? 

Nope. 

She came off the game and got a 'boyfriend' he is one lucky chap despite her background.....all the bits in the right places. 

Baldly going where every man has gone before you say? 

 

You would not turn it down.......sorry you prolly would, not hairy enough.

 

LL is a wookie you say? 

LL puts up with his strange ways you say? 

LL has the patience of a saint you say? 

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

Got invited into next door this avro..... they have a splendid bed. 

He is a lucky bloke when I turn the intermong off......Lucky bastard. 

I thought she was a prossy next door...? 

Nope. 

She came off the game and got a 'boyfriend' he is one lucky chap despite her background.....all the bits in the right places. 

Baldly going where every man has gone before you say? 

 

You would not turn it down.......sorry you prolly would, not hairy enough.

 

LL is a wookie you say? 

LL puts up with his strange ways you say? 

LL has the patience of a saint you say? 

Without doubt about that we are.

[Darwins Selection]

Got invited into next door this avro..... they have a splendid bed. 

He is a lucky bloke when I turn the intermong off......Lucky bastard. 

I thought she was a prossy next door...? 

Nope. 

She came off the game and got a 'boyfriend' he is one lucky chap despite her background.....all the bits in the right places. 

Baldly going where every man has gone before you say? 

 

You would not turn it down.......sorry you prolly would, not hairy enough.

 

LL is a wookie you say? 

LL puts up with his strange ways you say? 

LL has the patience of a saint you say? 

Without doubt about that we are.

Up with so much shite she must put.

[Barman]

 

[Grumpmeister]

Not a healthy colour BM is. Learn to relax he must. Watch his blood pressure he should. 

[Nick]

He should eat some tomatoes 

[Grumpmeister]

He should eat some tomatoes 

Broken the sequence you have, berk you are. 'Eat some tomatoes he should' you should have said. 

[Nick]

 

[Darwins Selection]

Womble cock

[apc2010]

Womble cock

 

[Barman]

Womble cock

 

 

[boogs]

Womble cock

 

 

 

[Nick]

RING RING

Lady: Can I speak to Mr Nick please?

Me: Yes

Lady: I am calling from the Hearing Clinic

Me: Pardon?

Lady: I am calling from the Hearing Clinic

Me: You will have to speak up dear

Lady shouts: I am calling from the Hearing Clinic

Me: No it's no good [hangs up]