Waiting in for a Sainsbury's delivery 
Have you got paramedics on standby?
Paramedics, fire brigade and PC Plod complete with bicycle have been alerted and are in attendance. Bob the boiler man has decided to 'see how things pan out'. The BBC declared that they were 'aware of the situation' and that Orla Guerin was on standby. Downing Street declined to comment.
I am bubble wrapping the house, catching up with paperwork and trying to forget the moment when standing in a queue to purchase milk, I riffled around in my jacket pockets thought 'what on earth is this' and pulled out a half eaten carrot that had seen better days.
