I’m not trying to sell you anything…

[Barman]

Why oh why after all these years since the telephone was invented do sales teams still use the same corny ol’ lines that immediately tell you what they are up to? 

Just had some ‘Independent Financial Advisors’ on the ‘phone, didn’t want to sell me anything, just arrange a meeting with his colleague… of course. 

When we ran the business in the UK we used to get people selling corporate hospitality at major sporting events calling us up all the time. Guess what, they’d just had a client cancel at an event and could let us have it at a special price! Every single time… 

If they just had the honesty to say what they were up to I would give them more than the 500mS of my time that they get at the moment… Well, no, they probably wouldn’t. 

Tossers! 

[Darwins Selection]

Well at least you still fall for the old "I am expecting a Postal Order and will clear my slate the moment it arrives". 

[Barman]

Well at least you still fall for the old "I am expecting a Postal Order and will clear my slate the moment it arrives". 

[Snoopy]

Strangely these "sales" people cannot see that they are using a variant on the old "I was doing a tarmac job up the road, for the council, and I happen to have some left over and wondered if you would like me to repair your drive" routine.

[Bar Wench]

I'm going on a course in a few weeks to teach me how to do it. 

[Nick]

 

[Snoopy]

I'm going on a course in a few weeks to teach me how to do it. 

Like all courses, attend, take the money, add it to your CV and forget it once you return to the office.

Sales is easy, developing the ability to accept that you will be told to fvck off 99 times out of 100 without taking it personally is the hard part.

[Bar Wench]

Which is why I have no desire to do so. 

[Snoopy]

I have to admit I am always slightly offended that the black arts of selling, honed by yours truly and others over a lifetime, are considered capable of being taught in a week long course.

[Nick]

He's going to try to flog us some bonios.I feel it in my, um, bones

[Bar Wench]

I have to admit I am always slightly offended that the black arts of selling, honed by yours truly and others over a lifetime, are considered capable of being taught in a week long course.

A morning Snoops, a morning! 

[Snoopy]

 

[Bar Wench]

I know. 

[Uncle Mort]

Surely a morning's enough to get the basic idea (lying with a straight face). Then it's all down to experience. 

[Just One More]

I'm going on a course in a few weeks to teach me how to do it. 

Will you be able to give me a price to tarmac my drive after the course. I would like white chippings in it please