WELL!!!!
Good: had this beauty in this morning


BAD

A narrow boat appears at the top end of the lock without warning. The lock is empty so they cannot enter I wait for some signal. No phone call and no radio message.
Eventually a young woman approaches. She is a Kiwi.
What do we do?
Do you want to come through?
Yes, but how. We ae new to this.
Not to worry, I will get the lock ready and open the gates and let you through
She looks relieved
Here, these are the phone numbers of all the locks so you can call ahead
She takes the card gratefully
Where ae you going?
Yorkshire

Do you have tide tables?
We aren't going by sea!!
I explain that just beyond Newark the Trent is tidal. Tide tables and tidal charts are essential, as are life vests
She looks alarmed
We thought we could get by with Google Maps

You can get all these at Newark, but then you must phone ahead to book passage through the tidal locks
She runs back to the boat
She returns
The skipper asks if we can hire a pilot for the tidal sections
No
Her eyes widen and she goes white. She is part Maori
I had better write all this down. It seems very complicated
I repeat everything and she enters it into her phone
She goes back to the boat and they enter the lock (which is 30 feet deep)
I command them to tie up at both ends and they loop ropes around bollards
The descent starts. I notice the skipper fiddling with his stern rope and see he is tying a knot. I rush over and tell him to keep the rope slack. The stern is already lifting out of the water and the rope is very tight. He releases the knot and the rope turns into a whip and knocks his cowboy hat off where it is promptly minced up by the propeller (boat is still in gear for some reason) as the stern descends with a loud splash.
The descent continues
It occurs to me that the bow rope is a tad shorter than the stern rope and sure enough, I hear screaming. The young woman is hanging on for dear life like Hoffnung's Bricklayer but has lost contact with the boat by about 2 feet. I advise her to hang on and start to refill the lock. She lets go and lands arse first in the bows.
She cries
I send them on their way
I am at a lock further down the river tomorrow and expect to encounter them again
