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Author Topic: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2025 lock-keeping adventures thread  (Read 7837 times)

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Offline Nick

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #30 on: April 21, 2023, 06:03:36 PM »
And next week taking my new Syrian lock keeping for the day at Lonely Widow Island. What can possibly go wrong?
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Offline Nick

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #31 on: April 22, 2023, 06:06:29 AM »
National Watersports Centre :thumbsup:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #32 on: April 22, 2023, 07:28:30 AM »
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Offline Nick

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #33 on: April 22, 2023, 05:14:20 PM »
More and more nutters on the river!

A boat stops outside the lock and the owner comes to talk:


Hello, can I come though the lock?
Of course, I will open the gates
I have never been through a lock before. I do not know what to do
Just tie up here and I will talk you through it
Do I have to stay in the boat?
Yes, why?
I suffer from extreme anxiety and claustrophobia and agoraphobia. I may feel trapped as the boat descends and start screaming
OK, but this lock is very deep and if you get out of the boat you will have to climb 30 feet down a wet and rust ladder

He looks thoughtful

OK, I will stay in the boat

We start the process and he begins to cry and then starts screaming
I decided to ignore him angel1

I warned the keeper at the next lock where it happened all over again  noooo:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #34 on: April 22, 2023, 05:24:06 PM »
Quote from: Nick on April 22, 2023, 05:14:20 PM
More and more nutters on the river!

A boat stops outside the lock and the owner comes to talk:


Hello, can I come though the lock?
Of course, I will open the gates
I have never been through a lock before. I do not know what to do
Just tie up here and I will talk you through it
Do I have to stay in the boat?
Yes, why?
I suffer from extreme anxiety and claustrophobia and agoraphobia. I may feel trapped as the boat descends and start screaming
OK, but this lock is very deep and if you get out of the boat you will have to climb 30 feet down a wet and rust ladder

He looks thoughtful

OK, I will stay in the boat

We start the process and he begins to cry and then starts screaming
I decided to ignore him angel1

I warned the keeper at the next lock where it happened all over again  noooo:
noooo:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #35 on: April 22, 2023, 07:06:09 PM »
Quote from: Nick on April 22, 2023, 05:14:20 PM
More and more nutters on the river!

A boat stops outside the lock and the owner comes to talk:


Hello, can I come though the lock?
Of course, I will open the gates
I have never been through a lock before. I do not know what to do
Just tie up here and I will talk you through it
Do I have to stay in the boat?
Yes, why?
I suffer from extreme anxiety and claustrophobia and agoraphobia. I may feel trapped as the boat descends and start screaming
OK, but this lock is very deep and if you get out of the boat you will have to climb 30 feet down a wet and rust ladder

He looks thoughtful

OK, I will stay in the boat

We start the process and he begins to cry and then starts screaming
I decided to ignore him angel1

I warned the keeper at the next lock where it happened all over again  noooo:

So it wasnt just coz you were operating the lock.... Thumbs:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #36 on: April 22, 2023, 07:09:41 PM »
 angel1
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #37 on: April 23, 2023, 04:23:40 PM »
Quote from: Nick on April 22, 2023, 05:14:20 PM
More and more nutters on the river!

A boat stops outside the lock and the owner comes to talk:


Hello, can I come though the lock?
Of course, I will open the gates
I have never been through a lock before. I do not know what to do
Just tie up here and I will talk you through it
Do I have to stay in the boat?
Yes, why?
I suffer from extreme anxiety and claustrophobia and agoraphobia. I may feel trapped as the boat descends and start screaming
OK, but this lock is very deep and if you get out of the boat you will have to climb 30 feet down a wet and rust ladder

He looks thoughtful

OK, I will stay in the boat

We start the process and he begins to cry and then starts screaming
I decided to ignore him angel1

I warned the keeper at the next lock where it happened all over again  noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:

Bet he can't swim either  lol:
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #38 on: April 23, 2023, 06:44:07 PM »
Quote from: apc2010 on April 22, 2023, 07:06:09 PM
Quote from: Nick on April 22, 2023, 05:14:20 PM
More and more nutters on the river!

A boat stops outside the lock and the owner comes to talk:


Hello, can I come though the lock?
Of course, I will open the gates
I have never been through a lock before. I do not know what to do
Just tie up here and I will talk you through it
Do I have to stay in the boat?
Yes, why?
I suffer from extreme anxiety and claustrophobia and agoraphobia. I may feel trapped as the boat descends and start screaming
OK, but this lock is very deep and if you get out of the boat you will have to climb 30 feet down a wet and rust ladder

He looks thoughtful

OK, I will stay in the boat

We start the process and he begins to cry and then starts screaming
I decided to ignore him angel1

I warned the keeper at the next lock where it happened all over again  noooo:

So it wasnt just coz you were operating the lock.... Thumbs:

Glad I'm not the only one wondering that..  whistle:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #39 on: April 28, 2023, 04:11:15 PM »
Had these three in the lock first thing cloud9:










Sadly, the lock then broke and we had to wait for an engineer to come from Leicester. It begain to rain and they were there until lunchtime  redface:
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #40 on: April 28, 2023, 06:00:17 PM »
Quote from: Nick on April 28, 2023, 04:11:15 PM
Had these three in the lock first thing cloud9:










Sadly, the lock then broke and we had to wait for an engineer to come from Leicester. It begain to rain and they were there until lunchtime  redface:

Something stopped working while you were using it? I can't believe that..  whistle:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #41 on: April 28, 2023, 06:06:52 PM »
 cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #42 on: April 28, 2023, 06:48:27 PM »
It has been quiet on the river for a couple of years. I have only had 14 boats through this month.

Chatting to one of the stuck boaters today, he ventured that it was the price of fuel. He had just filled his tank with diesel. It cost him £2500 Shocked:

His boat does 10 miles per gallon eeek:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #43 on: April 28, 2023, 08:08:33 PM »
Quote from: Nick on April 28, 2023, 06:48:27 PM
It has been quiet on the river for a couple of years. I have only had 14 boats through this month.

Chatting to one of the stuck boaters today, he ventured that it was the price of fuel. He had just filled his tank with diesel. It cost him £2500 Shocked:

His boat does 10 miles per gallon eeek:
eeek:

But wasn't it that same couple of years ago you started lock keeping  whistle:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Tales of the river bank: Nick's all new 2023 lock-keeping adventures thread
« Reply #44 on: May 05, 2023, 03:09:38 PM »
Off to me second favourite lock, like, tomorrow. Bank Holiday weekend and a popular place, but the Coronation rubschin:

Wonder if there is a Republican wing of the Boating Association rubschin:
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