Author Topic: Nick's all new 2022 lock keeping adventures and bonkers boaters thread  (Read 2693 times)

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Offline Nick

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I think that is Tipsy's area  angel1
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Tipsy is chasing after young laydees in lycra? Well I suppose if she can divert them in your direction she can make her escape while you are distracted and drooling..  whistle:
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Offline Nick

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I arrive at the entrance to the Watersports Centre to find the road blocked

A jobsworth in a High Vis jacket wanders over:

Where is your pass?
Me: What pass?
The pass you need to get in
Me: I don't have one
You can't come in then
Me: Yes I can. I am the lock keeper
I know nothing about that
Me: Use your radio to call your boss

He does so: Guy her wants to come in. Says he is the "lock keeper"
Boss: Let him in

I drive another few hundred yards. There are dozens of vehicles and hundreds of people

I come to a road block

A jobsworth in a High Vis jacket wanders over:

Where is your pass?
Me: What pass?
The pass you need to get in
Me: I don't have one
You can't come in then
Me: Yes I can. I am the lock keeper
I know nothing about that
Me: Use your radio to call your boss

He does so: Guy her wants to come in. Says he is the "lock keeper"
Boss: Let him in!

Another couple of hundred yards. I am now surrounded by huge numbers of people in wet suits

A jobsworth in a High Vis jacket wanders over:

Where is your pass?
Me: What pass?
The pass you need to get in
Me: I don't have one
You can't come in then
Me: Yes I can. I am the lock keeper
I know nothing about that
Me: Use your radio to call your boss

He does so: Guy her wants to come in. Says he is the "lo,,,"
Boss: LET HIM IN YOU TWIT


The event: https://www.canoeicf.com/

Apparently it happened yesterday too and will happen again tomorrow  noooo:
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Offline Steve

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 lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Uncle Mort

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Not surprised.

lol: lol: lol:

However, I am surprised you don't have a permanent pass for the Centre if your lock is in it.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2022, 06:08:52 PM by Uncle Mort »

Offline Nick

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It is normally an open facility. Anyone can go there and some people live on boats along the river.Only access is through the NWS

It also hosts lots of commercial outfits: climbing centre, canoe shops, cafes, water based kids stuff, adventure playgrounds......
« Last Edit: June 28, 2022, 06:29:24 PM by Nick »
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Offline Barman

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I arrive at the entrance to the Watersports Centre to find the road blocked

A jobsworth in a High Vis jacket wanders over:

Where is your pass?
Me: What pass?
The pass you need to get in
Me: I don't have one
You can't come in then
Me: Yes I can. I am the lock keeper
I know nothing about that
Me: Use your radio to call your boss

He does so: Guy her wants to come in. Says he is the "lock keeper"
Boss: Let him in

I drive another few hundred yards. There are dozens of vehicles and hundreds of people

I come to a road block

A jobsworth in a High Vis jacket wanders over:

Where is your pass?
Me: What pass?
The pass you need to get in
Me: I don't have one
You can't come in then
Me: Yes I can. I am the lock keeper
I know nothing about that
Me: Use your radio to call your boss

He does so: Guy her wants to come in. Says he is the "lock keeper"
Boss: Let him in!

Another couple of hundred yards. I am now surrounded by huge numbers of people in wet suits

A jobsworth in a High Vis jacket wanders over:

Where is your pass?
Me: What pass?
The pass you need to get in
Me: I don't have one
You can't come in then
Me: Yes I can. I am the lock keeper
I know nothing about that
Me: Use your radio to call your boss

He does so: Guy her wants to come in. Says he is the "lo,,,"
Boss: LET HIM IN YOU TWIT


The event: https://www.canoeicf.com/

Apparently it happened yesterday too and will happen again tomorrow  noooo:


happy001
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Offline Steve

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And after reading this, tomorrow 2,000 people will get free entry by all saying 'I'm the lock keeper'
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline apc2010

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And after reading this, tomorrow 2,000 people will get free entry by all saying 'I'm the lock keeper'

 rubschin:  maybe ...not sure the dribble on here gets quite that many views... rubschin:


Offline Barman

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And after reading this, tomorrow 2,000 people will get free entry by all saying 'I'm the lock keeper'

 rubschin:  maybe ...not sure the dribble on here gets quite that many views... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol: evil:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Nick

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This is Mac




Mac lives at the Lock Cottage
Mac is my best friend
Mac is a bouncy dog. Mac can jump as high as my head eeek:
Mac comes to visit me a lot
Mac knows I have dog treats in my lock keeper bag
Today Mac followed me to my car and tried to get into it
Mac was jumping and nipping with his VERY sharp teeth at my lock keeper bag
My lock keeper bag contained, amongst other things, a can of beer left for me by a grateful boater
Mac managed to nip the beer can
My lock keeper bag was on the passenger seat of my car
My passenger seat is now full of beer and my car smells like a brewery evil:

Don't be like Mac cussing:





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Offline Barman

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This is Mac




Mac lives at the Lock Cottage
Mac is my best friend
Mac is a bouncy dog. Mac can jump as high as my head eeek:
Mac comes to visit me a lot
Mac knows I have dog treats in my lock keeper bag
Today Mac followed me to my car and tried to get into it
Mac was jumping and nipping with his VERY sharp teeth at my lock keeper bag
My lock keeper bag contained, amongst other things, a can of beer left for me by a grateful boater
Mac managed to nip the beer can
My lock keeper bag was on the passenger seat of my car
My passenger seat is now full of beer and my car smells like a brewery evil:

Don't be like Mac cussing:


happy001

Only you Nick...  noooo:
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Is he a Mc Furry ?
Skubber

Offline Steve

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This is Mac




Mac lives at the Lock Cottage
Mac is my best friend
Mac is a bouncy dog. Mac can jump as high as my head eeek:
Mac comes to visit me a lot
Mac knows I have dog treats in my lock keeper bag
Today Mac followed me to my car and tried to get into it
Mac was jumping and nipping with his VERY sharp teeth at my lock keeper bag
My lock keeper bag contained, amongst other things, a can of beer left for me by a grateful boater
Mac managed to nip the beer can
My lock keeper bag was on the passenger seat of my car
My passenger seat is now full of beer and my car smells like a brewery evil:

Don't be like Mac cussing:
noooo:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Just One More

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This is Mac




Mac lives at the Lock Cottage
Mac is my best friend
Mac is a bouncy dog. Mac can jump as high as my head eeek:
Mac comes to visit me a lot
Mac knows I have dog treats in my lock keeper bag
Today Mac followed me to my car and tried to get into it
Mac was jumping and nipping with his VERY sharp teeth at my lock keeper bag
My lock keeper bag contained, amongst other things, a can of beer left for me by a grateful boater
Mac managed to nip the beer can
My lock keeper bag was on the passenger seat of my car
My passenger seat is now full of beer and my car smells like a brewery evil:

Don't be like Mac cussing:


happy001

Only you Nick...  noooo:

happy001 happy001
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie