I am Archie, age 8, Brighton
Archie writes: The regular staff have cleared off again (!) and that other clown has turned up! I was happily napping in my favourite box and having a lovely dream about being asleep and the bastard woke me up to give me a Dreamie! I was already having a dreamy! I must say, they are pretty yummy and they should just make them into regular cat food and be done with instead of this irrational, um, rationing. That may be a pun, Or perhaps a paradox, Anyway, I may go and use the litter tray now and he can see to that later.
Archie writes: The temporary servant came and told us that the weather has improved and maybe we would like to go out and get "some fresh air and exercise". My sister and I just looked at each other in disbelief. He is an idiot. I saw him earlier looking at those pesky fish in the pond. The regular staff are keen on recycling. I can think of an excellent way of recycling the fish, especially as Molly was up early and I think she ate my breakfast as well as hers! She is definitely waddling.