The all new Nick's adventures at the Edinburgh Festival thread

[Nick]

All nice and ready like.........

[Grumpmeister]

Anyone want to give odds on Nick being offered a show contract as someone thinks that his supernatural ability for gubbage is some kind of deep comedy routine... 

[Steve]

He could do readings from his all new book:  Tales of the RiverCanal Bank

[Grumpmeister]

The more I think about it the more "An Idiot's Guide to Health and Safety" seems viable.

We start off with a disclaimer along the lines of "The activities you are about to hear of should not be attempted by amateurs. Nick is a professional idiot with years of experience which allowed him to survive all the events mentioned" 

Then Nick limps on stage wearing various bandages and with at least one limb in plaster to begin telling his tales of woe.

It would either be a massive hit with the audience laughing hysterically or one of them will be arranging a padded cell for Nick. 

[Nick]

 

[Grumpmeister]

Look at how much laughter you've caused here telling us about your many calamities.

On a larger scale there could be big money in this.... 

[Nick]

 

[Grumpmeister]

Look at how popular Mr Bean used to be. 

[Nick]

 

[Grumpmeister]

What I'm saying is there is an obvious niche that is no longer being filled and you could be the next big thing you grouchy old sod. 

[Nick]

 

[Nick]

I have had some odd experiences in Scotland.

There was that religious loony who shouted at me through the letter box every day 

And the guy in Inverness who claimed to have lived on another planet

And that hotel that caught fire but told us to stay put and not panic

................

[Grumpmeister]

You could get away with using them at the fringe but I'd make sure there was a lot of additional non Scottish material to spread it out.

Having seen Inverness I can understand why he thought he lived on another planet. 

[Nick]

There was that unfortunate business with the Pope 

[Darwins Selection]

You could get away with using them at the fringe but I'd make sure there was a lot of additional non Scottish material to spread it out.

Having seen Inverness I can understand why he thought he lived on another planet. 

He even has the right colour hair for Edinburgh