Characteristics of your ideal woman

[Barman]

Trubble 

Not this end 
Your end 

Small trubble then. 

Nope Mr. D - all  this end
How are the turnips????

Doing well this year thank you.

Did you want a shipment or just the chance to invest?

Both please !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

I'd mention BM's checklist again but he didn't seem too happy about it earlier. 

Is that the one that simply said breathing?

And female! 

And freckles....

What's with the freckles thing????????????????? First I've heard of that 'requirement' in 30+ years of dedicated service 

So I'll assist by adding a few things  as to what BM needs in an ideal woman 

Ability to pick up BM's discarded clothing from anywhere in the house and perform miracle of returning it to drawer/wardrobe washed and ironed
Ability to not pass out from wee wee fumes in downstairs closet because BM has forgotten (again) to flush
Ability to fain an interest in mini restoration and the disasters thereof
Ability to like ones on company when BM has disappeared (again) for many hours down to subterranean world

Discretion 

That must be due to age - a bit like using the wardrobe for a wee . . . . .

[boogs]

I'd mention BM's checklist again but he didn't seem too happy about it earlier. 

Is that the one that simply said breathing?

And female! 

And freckles....

What's with the freckles thing????????????????? First I've heard of that 'requirement' in 30+ years of dedicated service 

So I'll assist by adding a few things  as to what BM needs in an ideal woman 

Ability to pick up BM's discarded clothing from anywhere in the house and perform miracle of returning it to drawer/wardrobe washed and ironed
Ability to not pass out from wee wee fumes in downstairs closet because BM has forgotten (again) to flush
Ability to fain an interest in mini restoration and the disasters thereof
Ability to like ones on company when BM has disappeared (again) for many hours down to subterranean world

Discretion 

That must be due to age - a bit like using the wardrobe for a wee . . . . .

In my experience with MEN it is drink that has that effect ... also been known in the airing cupboard 

[Barman]

I'd mention BM's checklist again but he didn't seem too happy about it earlier. 

Is that the one that simply said breathing?

And female! 

And freckles....

What's with the freckles thing????????????????? First I've heard of that 'requirement' in 30+ years of dedicated service 

So I'll assist by adding a few things  as to what BM needs in an ideal woman 

Ability to pick up BM's discarded clothing from anywhere in the house and perform miracle of returning it to drawer/wardrobe washed and ironed
Ability to not pass out from wee wee fumes in downstairs closet because BM has forgotten (again) to flush
Ability to fain an interest in mini restoration and the disasters thereof
Ability to like ones on company when BM has disappeared (again) for many hours down to subterranean world

Discretion 

That must be due to age - a bit like using the wardrobe for a wee . . . . .

In my experience with MEN it is drink that has that effect ... also been known in the airing cupboard 

It was the Water Closet! 

[Landlady]

I'd mention BM's checklist again but he didn't seem too happy about it earlier. 

Is that the one that simply said breathing?

And female! 

And freckles....

What's with the freckles thing????????????????? First I've heard of that 'requirement' in 30+ years of dedicated service 

So I'll assist by adding a few things  as to what BM needs in an ideal woman 

Ability to pick up BM's discarded clothing from anywhere in the house and perform miracle of returning it to drawer/wardrobe washed and ironed
Ability to not pass out from wee wee fumes in downstairs closet because BM has forgotten (again) to flush
Ability to fain an interest in mini restoration and the disasters thereof
Ability to like ones on company when BM has disappeared (again) for many hours down to subterranean world

Discretion 

That must be due to age - a bit like using the wardrobe for a wee . . . . .

In my experience with MEN it is drink that has that effect ... also been known in the airing cupboard 

It was the Water Closet! 

No complaints about your 'aiming' ability my dear it's just the lack of flushing 

[Miss Adventure]

We have sooo much in common LL

[Landlady]

We have sooo much in common LL

I find rubbing bleach in his eyes pouring bleach down the loo helps but then sometimes walk past to find it all frothing up over the rim.......................more wee interacting with the bleach and still no flushing

[Barman]

Oh bloody hell, they're both here now..... 

[Nick]

You need to electrify the bowl, as a reminder like 

[Miss Adventure]

It's a well-known fact that men are attracted to a bog full of bleach, the minute I clean the khazi, Swillers has to use it

[Barman]

What is it with wimmin and putting bleach down the bog?

[Nick]

I like those blue things 

[Miss Adventure]

Not the ones that hang over the rim? They just give you something to aim at

[apc2010]

I like those blue things 

Baldy sells them.........

[Landlady]

I like those blue things 

Baldy sells them.........

At cross purposes here I think Apey - Baldy's blue tablet merchandise I believe would probably  prevent male weeing, for a while anyway..........................