Scary Movies

[Barman]

 

[boogs]

I'd have been much worse if I'd had the chance to teach my two minionettes of mayhem Boogsy. 

 

[boogs]

Scary movies don't like them at all - give me an episode of Holby City any day 

Oh sis 

[Grumpmeister]

I'd have been much worse if I'd had the chance to teach my two minionettes of mayhem Boogsy. 

 

Oh no these two were perfect, T had this 'butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' look of total innocence despite having a sense of humour that even by my standards was downright evil and C......the only way to describe her would be cute megalomaniac bond villain (C is also the reason I'm not using their names just in case they find this site, when it comes to revenge she is easily capable of causing more chaos and destruction than Nick except this would be intentional and highly entertaining as long as you aren't the victim or collateral damage.)

  I've just realised C still has my book on office warfare and knowing my luck she remembered I used this site. Errrrr Hi C, if by some chance you've read this you know I love you really and can I please have a 5 minute head start before you start using me for target practice. 

[boogs]

I'd have been much worse if I'd had the chance to teach my two minionettes of mayhem Boogsy. 

 

Oh no these two were perfect, T had this 'butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' look of total innocence despite having a sense of humour that even by my standards was downright evil and C......the only way to describe her would be cute megalomaniac bond villain (C is also the reason I'm not using their names just in case they find this site, when it comes to revenge she is easily capable of causing more chaos and destruction than Nick except this would be intentional and highly entertaining as long as you aren't the victim or collateral damage.)

  I've just realised C still has my book on office warfare and knowing my luck she remembered I used this site. Errrrr Hi C, if by some chance you've read this you know I love you really and can I please have a 5 minute head start before you start using me for target practice. 

    love it ... respect 

[Grumpmeister]

This is the book she has Boogsy, one of the directors saw her reading it and spent the rest of the day hiding in his office. 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Miniweapons-Mass-Destruction-Implements-Spitball/dp/1556529538/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_y

Hmm, just seen there is a third one in the series that deals with siege weapons, that may just give me a chance. 

And then there is her evil genius monologues which seem to swing between Bond Villain, Eddie Izzard and Hannibal Lechter.  (note to self if she does somehow manage to breed mutant rabid penguins leave the country asap). I did suggest that she has a go at doing them at the Edinburgh Festival, I figured that she would either cause the city to be evacuated or end up the next big thing.

[boogs]

This is the book she has Boogsy, one of the directors saw her reading it and spent the rest of the day hiding in his office. 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Miniweapons-Mass-Destruction-Implements-Spitball/dp/1556529538/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_y

Hmm, just seen there is a third one in the series that deals with siege weapons, that may just give me a chance. 

And then there is her evil genius monologues which seem to swing between Bond Villain, Eddie Izzard and Hannibal Lechter.  (note to self if she does somehow manage to breed mutant rabid penguins leave the country asap). I did suggest that she has a go at doing them at the Edinburgh Festival, I figured that she would either cause the city to be evacuated or end up the next big thing.

  Prolly next big thing ...

[Grumpmeister]

Was reminded of this the other day Boogsy. Years ago I worked at BT doing 192 and one of the guys there had an stalker admirer they had nicknamed the Honey Monster who was a tad on the large side (in the same way that Nick is a tad accident prone) and always wore clothing too small for her, not so much a muffin top as a six tier wedding cake, hell her idea of a diet was six packets of crisps at lunchtime instead of eight.    Anyway one day I'm working in one of the overflow rooms with the pair of them when she decided to do the Sharon Stone crossed legs bit from Basic Instinct, except she's jammed in place because of the chair arms so the only way she could do it was to jam her hands down either side of her thigh and heft it out managing to sound like a cross between a horny warthog and Russian female shotputter while she was doing it. Now by this point I've finished my shift and could go but this was a disaster in progress and I'm biting my arm to stop from laughing as I can see the poor bugger is turning every shade of green under the sun, especially when she starts trying to flirt with him at the same time.  I realise that I can't watch any more of this so I get out as quick as I can and manage to get to the staff room before collapsing in hysterics. Not long after that this rewrite of Bohemian Rhapsody started coming together in my head and then made the rounds, Danny wasn't overly impressed with me for some reason,  weirdly enough she hadn't realised that people were calling her Honey Monster so when she saw a copy of it she was laughing as well.

This is as much of it as I can remember. Yes I know it's purile but I was doing 7 day 80+ hour weeks at that point so I'm allowed a little leeway.

This can't be real life
Just twisted fantasy
Caught in a flesh slide
Trust me you don't want the imagery
Open your eyes
Look up at this sight and scream
I'm just a poor boy
I need your sympathy

And now I'm in her sights
She won't let go
She's bigger than
A hippo
Anywhere the wind blows
It doesn't really matter to me
I have to leave

Honey just killed a man
Put her thighs astride his head
Sat down and how he's dead.

It carried on in that vein. 

[Landlady]

Was reminded of this the other day Boogsy. Years ago I worked at BT doing 192 and one of the guys there had an stalker admirer they had nicknamed the Honey Monster who was a tad on the large side (in the same way that Nick is a tad accident prone) and always wore clothing too small for her, not so much a muffin top as a six tier wedding cake, hell her idea of a diet was six packets of crisps at lunchtime instead of eight.    Anyway one day I'm working in one of the overflow rooms with the pair of them when she decided to do the Sharon Stone crossed legs bit from Basic Instinct, except she's jammed in place because of the chair arms so the only way she could do it was to jam her hands down either side of her thigh and heft it out managing to sound like a cross between a horny warthog and Russian female shotputter while she was doing it. Now by this point I've finished my shift and could go but this was a disaster in progress and I'm biting my arm to stop from laughing as I can see the poor bugger is turning every shade of green under the sun, especially when she starts trying to flirt with him at the same time.  I realise that I can't watch any more of this so I get out as quick as I can and manage to get to the staff room before collapsing in hysterics. Not long after that this rewrite of Bohemian Rhapsody started coming together in my head and then made the rounds, Danny wasn't overly impressed with me for some reason,  weirdly enough she hadn't realised that people were calling her Honey Monster so when she saw a copy of it she was laughing as well.

This is as much of it as I can remember. Yes I know it's purile but I was doing 7 day 80+ hour weeks at that point so I'm allowed a little leeway.

This can't be real life
Just twisted fantasy
Caught in a flesh slide
Trust me you don't want the imagery
Open your eyes
Look up at this sight and scream
I'm just a poor boy
I need your sympathy

And now I'm in her sights
She won't let go
She's bigger than
A hippo
Anywhere the wind blows
It doesn't really matter to me
I have to leave

Honey just killed a man
Put her thighs astride his head
Sat down and how he's dead.

It carried on in that vein. 

I think I can see the vague beginnings of a VP pub musical production on this theme alone

Obviously it may involve you chaps wearing tights and cod pieces (to stay in character) and us ladies having lots of sequins stitched onto our dresses and shiny glittery new shoes but it could be fun 

GM as song writer extrodinare obviously is Producer and gets to cast the parts 

[Grumpmeister]

I'm currently stuck on rewriting the Sir Robin song from Spamalot/Holy Grail for Nick. Not sure if he would appreciate Nick Towers being renamed Gubalot though. 

[Steve]

"Gubalot"

    

[Grumpmeister]

Well 'One day the Ginger Shambles strode forth from Gubalot' was a better fit than anything else. 

[Landlady]

Well 'One day the Ginger Shambles strode forth from Gubalot' was a better fit than anything else. 

Post a Utube singalong link and we'll try and help................I'm sure between us we could come up with a masterpiece worthy of ALW 

[boogs]

Was reminded of this the other day Boogsy. Years ago I worked at BT doing 192 and one of the guys there had an stalker admirer they had nicknamed the Honey Monster who was a tad on the large side (in the same way that Nick is a tad accident prone) and always wore clothing too small for her, not so much a muffin top as a six tier wedding cake, hell her idea of a diet was six packets of crisps at lunchtime instead of eight.    Anyway one day I'm working in one of the overflow rooms with the pair of them when she decided to do the Sharon Stone crossed legs bit from Basic Instinct, except she's jammed in place because of the chair arms so the only way she could do it was to jam her hands down either side of her thigh and heft it out managing to sound like a cross between a horny warthog and Russian female shotputter while she was doing it. Now by this point I've finished my shift and could go but this was a disaster in progress and I'm biting my arm to stop from laughing as I can see the poor bugger is turning every shade of green under the sun, especially when she starts trying to flirt with him at the same time.  I realise that I can't watch any more of this so I get out as quick as I can and manage to get to the staff room before collapsing in hysterics. Not long after that this rewrite of Bohemian Rhapsody started coming together in my head and then made the rounds, Danny wasn't overly impressed with me for some reason,  weirdly enough she hadn't realised that people were calling her Honey Monster so when she saw a copy of it she was laughing as well.

This is as much of it as I can remember. Yes I know it's purile but I was doing 7 day 80+ hour weeks at that point so I'm allowed a little leeway.

This can't be real life
Just twisted fantasy
Caught in a flesh slide
Trust me you don't want the imagery
Open your eyes
Look up at this sight and scream
I'm just a poor boy
I need your sympathy

And now I'm in her sights
She won't let go
She's bigger than
A hippo
Anywhere the wind blows
It doesn't really matter to me
I have to leave

Honey just killed a man
Put her thighs astride his head
Sat down and how he's dead.

It carried on in that vein. 

 

Looks to me like you have a talent there Grumpy that could be put to good use 

As LL says a musical production I hope you will be volunteering your services for the Bickering Christmas extravaganza we cannot let talent like yours escape ... 

And you can shake your ass too 

I am sure  LL and I will appreciate your assistance....

[Grumpmeister]

Monty Python The Tale of Sir Robin ( long version )

Well that's the tune, the trick is going to be cherry picking Nicks more infamous cock ups. But whatever else goes in the exploding badger will be making an appearance somehow.