Bickering the VP virtual Surrey village.

[Pirate]

Don't put Pirate in charge of the fete games 

 

I shall be on patrol...

[Nick]

Is it time for my fete worse than death joke?

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

No.    Cleaning the muck spreader would be a good idea Darwin, can you think of any good slurry pit games for the children?

Hunt the child in the grain silo is a good one.

[Nick]

We could have a turnip competition. BM would win by entering himself

[Barman]

We could have a turnip competition. BM would win by entering himself

 

[Just One More]

Is that physically possible like 

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

Is that physically possible like 

Oh dear naughty step JOM.

[Just One More]

 

[Barman]

 

[Darwins Selection]

Is that physically possible like 

He'd never get round to it

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

Well, that all went rather smoothly IMHO.

It's a shame about the unfortunate stains on the village hall walls, and the roof of the old rectory will need re-tiling after the rather lively performance of 'her 'ouse' by the Bickering Girl Guides. The rafter has just about survived and poor Olivia is at least in a 'stable' condition, they will remove the rest of the splinters tomorrow.

The fact that there was only one fatality at the beacon lighting ceremony is a blessing and Councillor Owens and the vicars wife have apparently arrived safely in the Bahamas as far as I am aware not one of us had an inkling as to their shenanigans.

It was nice that so many of the residents of Little Bickering felt able and well enough to join us. I fear the Coronation Chicken was to blame for the outbreak of food poisoning following the Big Lunch.

I will attend to the bunting tomorrow and would like volunteers for litter picking duties.

Thank you all for your help.

[Nick]

What idiot put BM in charge of the beacon 

[Pirate]

There were a number of arrests in Bickering  over the bank holiday...mostly drunk and disorderly...(Miss D, APC and TMR notably...DS was given a warning and an £80 fixed penalty (as he's a member of the gentry like))...urinating in a public place...(JOM) and one act of exposure in a public place...(BM, small fish...given a warning)

Misty was arrested under the drugs act (and had to be strip searched)  (was watching through the two way mirror)

Other offences, too many to mention as I'm using the WIFI in the local and having a swift half or two while still on duty...

That is all...

[Just One More]

Can somebody remove the signs and cones at the gateways to the village, I've been callled away to prepare signs elsewhere. Oh, and if anybody wants the tin of baked beans and bottle of Asti Spumante I won in the raffle, they're underneath the end table

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

The beans and Asti can go into the next raffle. I need some volunteers to rattle collection boxes and man the cake stall on Saturday the 30th. Oh and someone to make the cakes for said stall. Snoops would you mind managing the PA system and dealing with any lost children, burying them is not an option neither is  sending them up the old rectory chimneys like you did last year. We still haven't found young Arthur Snodgrass