Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 355323 times)

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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5055 on: May 14, 2019, 04:33:00 PM »
We're getting a Karen Carpenter tribute act at the village amphitheatre next month!  :thumbsup:

Apparently this bird is so like her she loses weight throughout the act....  redface:

 tunble:

A joke so bad that not even Apey would use it...  noooo:

 evil:

Well it made I larf...
QED
I mostly despair

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5056 on: May 14, 2019, 04:35:01 PM »
We're getting a Karen Carpenter tribute act at the village amphitheatre next month!  :thumbsup:

Apparently this bird is so like her she loses weight throughout the act....  redface:

 tunble:

A joke so bad that not even Apey would use it...  noooo:

 evil:

Well it made I larf...
QED

 redface:
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Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5057 on: May 14, 2019, 06:04:53 PM »
if it made you larf how come you posted  tunble:

confuddling
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5058 on: May 14, 2019, 06:06:50 PM »
if it made you larf how come you posted  tunble:

confuddling

Read it again Steve...  ;)
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Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5059 on: May 14, 2019, 06:14:13 PM »
if it made you larf how come you posted  tunble:

confuddling

Read it again Steve...  ;)
doh:   redface:

I am losing the plot
Well, whatever nevermind

Online Grumpmeister

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5060 on: May 14, 2019, 11:39:21 PM »
if it made you larf how come you posted  tunble:

confuddling

Read it again Steve...  ;)
doh:   redface:

I am losing the plot

How can you lose something you never had to begin with?  rubschin:
Some days I think the only thing keeping me from becoming homicidal is that the voices can't agree on which weapon would be the most fun.

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5061 on: May 15, 2019, 06:26:40 AM »


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Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5062 on: May 15, 2019, 09:08:16 AM »
if it made you larf how come you posted  tunble:

confuddling

Read it again Steve...  ;)
doh:   redface:

I am losing the plot

How can you lose something you never had to begin with?  rubschin:
evil:
Well, whatever nevermind

Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5063 on: May 15, 2019, 09:08:51 AM »
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5064 on: May 15, 2019, 11:47:20 AM »

Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5065 on: May 15, 2019, 03:13:18 PM »
Husband to wife – “Today is a fine day."
Next day he says: “Today is a fine day.”
Again, next day, he says same thing – “Today is a fine day."
Finally, after a week, the wife can’t take it and asks her husband –
“Since last week, you have been saying 'Today is a fine day.'" I am fed up. What’s the matter?”
Husband : Last week when we had an argument, you said,
“I will leave you one fine day.” I was just trying to remind you .......
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Darwins Selection

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I mostly despair

Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5067 on: May 15, 2019, 10:24:30 PM »
An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The truckie says, "A hamburger, chips and a coke," and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?"
"Sounds great, I'll have the same," says the emu.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40 please," and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays.
The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, "A hamburger, chips and a coke."
The emu says, "Sounds great, I'll have the same."
Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man..
"Same for me," says the emu.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?"
"Well, love" says the truckie, "A few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there." says the man.
Still curious the waitress asks, "What's with the bloody emu?"
The truckie pauses, sighs, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say."
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5068 on: May 16, 2019, 05:17:15 AM »
An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The truckie says, "A hamburger, chips and a coke," and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?"
"Sounds great, I'll have the same," says the emu.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40 please," and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays.
The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, "A hamburger, chips and a coke."
The emu says, "Sounds great, I'll have the same."
Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man..
"Same for me," says the emu.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?"
"Well, love" says the truckie, "A few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there." says the man.
Still curious the waitress asks, "What's with the bloody emu?"
The truckie pauses, sighs, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say."

 ;D
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Offline Nick

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