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Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 369731 times)

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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #886 on: July 22, 2011, 02:11:55 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #888 on: July 22, 2011, 02:53:07 PM »
My wife said, "Why is the laptop all sticky?"

I said, "It's not what you think, it's ice cream."

She said, "How did you manage to get ice cream all over the laptop?"

I said, "Have you ever tried eating an ice cream whilst masturbating?


Oooohh... Is it time for my penguin joke?  cloud9:

Go on then .... since there's only the two of us here but be quick.

A penguin is driving thru Nevada. His car breaks down in a small town off the highway. The Penguin stops in at a body shop.

Mechanic " well it's going to take an hour for me to figure out the problem, take a look around the town and come back in about an hour"

Penguin " Ok"

He walks around the town, and notices it is real blistering hot out. Walking along he discovers and ice cream shop. He stops in and orders a large bowl of vanilla ice cream. His flippers are unable to hold the fork, so he just starts shoveling ice cream into his mouth. He makes an enormous mess.

He heads back to the body shop and the mechanic turns to him and says

" looks like you blew a seal"

Penguin " NO it's just ice cream" !

 happy002
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Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #889 on: July 22, 2011, 02:55:06 PM »
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #890 on: July 22, 2011, 03:00:02 PM »
I think the chimp delivered it better ...... You know, the first post.  whistle:
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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #891 on: July 22, 2011, 03:04:21 PM »
I think the chimp delivered it better ...... You know, the first post.  whistle:

happy001
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Offline Baldy

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Online apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #893 on: July 23, 2011, 05:47:19 PM »
BBC News Website: Amy Winehouse, 27, found dead
Related Story: Winehouse comeback tour cancelled.

Well, that was a safe bet.........

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #894 on: July 24, 2011, 04:48:15 AM »
BBC News Website: Amy Winehouse, 27, found dead
Related Story: Winehouse comeback tour cancelled.

Well, that was a safe bet.........

 lol: lol: lol:

[checks] Feck mew she is dead!  eeek:

Was only a matter of time I suppose....  noooo:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #895 on: July 24, 2011, 06:16:01 AM »
Was only a matter of time I suppose....  noooo:

Another safe bet for everyone.  ::)
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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #896 on: July 24, 2011, 06:18:25 AM »
Was only a matter of time I suppose....  noooo:

Another safe bet for everyone.  ::)

Indeed...  lol:

That's what makes Celebrity Death Bingo so exciting!  whistle:
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Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #897 on: July 25, 2011, 09:16:48 AM »
Before telling such sick and abusive jokes about Amy Winehouse, think about her poor close friends.

Imagine how they'll feel on Tuesday when they wake up and find out.

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #898 on: July 25, 2011, 10:08:27 AM »
Before telling such sick and abusive jokes about Amy Winehouse, think about her poor close friends.

Imagine how they'll feel on Tuesday when they wake up and find out.

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #899 on: July 26, 2011, 09:23:14 AM »
Quote
THE BERNANKE GENERATOR
Flying cunt class from Bogota to Sao Paulo today, I made an important discovery. If you go through the Wall Street Journal, delete the word ``said'' from all the stories, and replace it with something else, the newspaper becomes about 15% less tedious.

For example:
-"We don't have a precise read on why this slower pace of growth is persisting," Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke whimpered.

-"We have no expectation or intention to get involved in state and local finance," Mr. Bernanke snarled.

-"This is really a political, fiscal issue," he chortled.

-"If we bail out one state, then all of the debt of all of the states is almost explicitly put on the books of the federal government," House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan yelped.

I'm trying to design The Bernanke Generator. You simply copy and paste your WSJ article, and it automatically converts it for you, free of charge. Bernanke sneered, Bernanke tittered, Bernanke roared, Bernanke guffawed, Bernanke sobbed...
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