The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on January 12, 2011, 08:20:58 AM
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He is obviously to busy to remember his real friends sad24:
So in the honorary VP fashion lets speculate eveilgrin:
He has become addicted to being a member of the audience on the Jeremy Kyle show
He is writing his autobiography and is locked away in a darkened room with those stick on luminous stars
He has gone senile and can't remember how to turn the computer on
He has become a member of the Secret Service - writing their roolz of engagement for them
He has a wumman
any more likely scenario's ???
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He is obviously to busy to remember his real friends sad24:
So in the honorary VP fashion lets speculate eveilgrin:
He has become addicted to being a member of the audience on the Jeremy Kyle show
He is writing his autobiography and is locked away in a darkened room with those stick on luminous stars
He has gone senile and can't remember how to turn the computer on
He has become a member of the Secret Service - writing their roolz of engagement for them
He has a wumman
any more likely scenario's ???
He has hacked your Facebook account and is posting unfeasibly large Zuma scores? cussing:
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Well ~ he did say that having spent years in employment, tied to a computer screen, he was not proposing to spend his hard won retirement doing the same. whistle:
Personally I think he has discovered that when one retires one finds that the days fill up and you end up wondering how you ever found time to go to work.
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Stop being so reasonable Snoops and get to speculating lol:
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Oh ~ I 'spect he is repainting the house then.
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Oh ~ I 'spect he is repainting the house then.
Up a ladder? scared2:
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Oh ~ I 'spect he is repainting the house then.
Up a ladder? scared2:
Oh Noes! Uncle is the sort of sensible chap that hires a scaffold tower.
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Oh ~ I 'spect he is repainting the house then.
Up a ladder? scared2:
Oh Noes! Uncle is the sort of sensible chap that hires a scaffold tower.
You're right.... redface:
I have been volunteered to paint the front of the house this year... I'm planning to rent a tower and secure it all properly before I start like, just in case... can't be too careful at my age... noooo:
happy001 who am I kidding? happy001
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I think he is out clubbing every night (booze and loud music, not baby seals) and spends the hours of daylight recovering for the next session.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3593%2F3308805443_53b3523bf1.jpg&hash=2d3a4ce264f42e4dbb7f90921d7da974b320b1dc)
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He'll be running his local parish before the year is out.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.victorian-society-bham.org.uk%2Fimages%2Fgavel.jpg&hash=7332b9d1f8a61e92ed3adf1bd7e377f8f9968d02)
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He'll be running his local parish before the year is out.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.victorian-society-bham.org.uk%2Fimages%2Fgavel.jpg&hash=7332b9d1f8a61e92ed3adf1bd7e377f8f9968d02)
Parking in a disabled bay.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bhagwad.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F09%2FDeath-Sentence-for-rape.jpg&hash=e13969a569e35ef37dfb0e5170dfca8cf2702e3b)
scared2:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3593%2F3308805443_53b3523bf1.jpg&hash=2d3a4ce264f42e4dbb7f90921d7da974b320b1dc)
Ok BM you are right, you look better with the bucket on eeek:
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Oh ~ I 'spect he is repainting the house then.
Up a ladder? scared2:
Oh Noes! Uncle is the sort of sensible chap that hires a scaffold tower.
You're right.... redface:
I have been volunteered to paint the front of the house this year... I'm planning to rent a tower and secure it all properly before I start like, just in case... can't be too careful at my age... noooo:
happy001 who am I kidding? happy001
Scaffold towers are so last year, get yourself a MEWP
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Why doesn't he just abseil down the building with his paintpod in hand ? whistle:
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Don't you remember what happened the last time BM went over the end of a roof Miss D lol:
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Scaffold towers are so last year, get yourself a MEWP
I had to look that up redface:
BM would love one though lol: Has he got a birthday coming up? No, I didn't think so ;)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.burtontrainingsolutions.com%2FUSERIMAGES%2Fmewp1.gif&hash=c8f4b1f1bebb5032201ace9f53e0eb6a2c41a15b)
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You tease Pastis when BM sees that in the morning he will be wetting himself....Come to think of it these days he does that anyway. noooo:
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You tease Pastis when BM sees that in the morning he will be wetting himself....Come to think of it these days he does that anyway. noooo:
sad32:
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Why doesn't he just abseil down the building with his paintpod in hand ? whistle:
Not practical Miss D ....... Abseiling down the building whilst holding a paintpod is strictly a one way trip ... then he has to climb up again to abseil down to do the next strip of painting. Now if he were to bungy jump from the roof, paintpod at the ready, he could get several strips painted as he bounced up and down before he needed to climb back to the roof. Takes a man to think through the practicalities you see. ;D
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Why doesn't he just abseil down the building with his paintpod in hand ? whistle:
Not practical Miss D ....... Abseiling down the building whilst holding a paintpod is strictly a one way trip ... then he has to climb up again to abseil down to do the next strip of painting. Now if he were to bungy jump from the roof, paintpod at the ready, he could get several strips painted as he bounced up and down before he needed to climb back to the roof. Takes a man to think through the practicalities you see. ;D
The way Gromit cleaned the windows in A close Shave...? rubschin:
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'cactly! lol:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.23hq.com%2Fnownextlater%2Fphoto%2F4198491%2Flarge&hash=2c41305d7dedd4b9db795852a20795cd9574765e)
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lol: lol: lol:
What could possibly go wrong...? rubschin:
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Nothing ~ 'slong as you move the cactus etc. whistle:
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Nothing ~ 'slong as you move the cactus etc. whistle:
Good point well made! happy088
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Takes a man to think through the practicalities you see. ;D
...and excuses why it can't be done of course ;)
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Takes a man to think through the practicalities you see. ;D
...and excuses why it can't be done of course ;)
I had assumed that went without saying razz:
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It will be done... there has been a decree... ::)
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It will be done... there has been a decree... ::)
Nisi, Absolute, or simply the usual "Or Else"?
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It will be done... there has been a decree... ::)
Nisi, Absolute, or simply the usual "Or Else"?
The latter... joins a long list of jobs tho.... whistle:
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It will be done... there has been a decree... ::)
Nisi, Absolute, or simply the usual "Or Else"?
The latter... joins a long list of jobs tho.... whistle:
That's all right then ..... I like lists of "Jobs that must be done" ..... You can pick your task of the day/week/month/year to suit your mood and then there is always the "I'm actually planning the task and seeing what I need to order ~ No point in going off half-cocked" option followed, after a suitable delay (about a month), by the "I am actually sorting the priorities as we you speak" which should always precede the "Please make up your bloody mind, I can't do it all at once you know" throwaway remark as you head for the pub.
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It will be done... there has been a decree... ::)
Nisi, Absolute, or simply the usual "Or Else"?
The latter... joins a long list of jobs tho.... whistle:
That's all right then ..... I like lists of "Jobs that must be done" ..... You can pick your task of the day/week/month/year to suit your mood and then there is always the "I'm actually planning the task and seeing what I need to order ~ No point in going off half-cocked" option followed, after a suitable delay (about a month), by the "I am actually sorting the priorities as we you speak" which should always precede the "Please make up your bloody mind, I can't do it all at once you know" throwaway remark as you head for the pub.
Precisely... eveilgrin:
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cloud9: A man after my own heart. happy088
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cloud9: A man after my own heart. happy088
Do you have one with extended warranty? ;)
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I have one with a "reset to default mode" device razz:
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I have one with a "reset to default mode" device razz:
lol: lol:
"Restore puppy-factory settings"
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Why doesn't he just abseil down the building with his paintpod in hand ? whistle:
Not practical Miss D ....... Abseiling down the building whilst holding a paintpod is strictly a one way trip ... then he has to climb up again to abseil down to do the next strip of painting. Now if he were to bungy jump from the roof, paintpod at the ready, he could get several strips painted as he bounced up and down before he needed to climb back to the roof. Takes a man to think through the practicalities you see. ;D
You would have to cover the windows first though, surely ?
Note - I did NOT say Shirley
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Why doesn't he just abseil down the building with his paintpod in hand ? whistle:
Not practical Miss D ....... Abseiling down the building whilst holding a paintpod is strictly a one way trip ... then he has to climb up again to abseil down to do the next strip of painting. Now if he were to bungy jump from the roof, paintpod at the ready, he could get several strips painted as he bounced up and down before he needed to climb back to the roof. Takes a man to think through the practicalities you see. ;D
You would have to cover the windows first though, surely ?
Note - I did NOT say Shirley
Of course I would... I'd thought of that already.... redface:
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Why doesn't he just abseil down the building with his paintpod in hand ? whistle:
Not practical Miss D ....... Abseiling down the building whilst holding a paintpod is strictly a one way trip ... then he has to climb up again to abseil down to do the next strip of painting. Now if he were to bungy jump from the roof, paintpod at the ready, he could get several strips painted as he bounced up and down before he needed to climb back to the roof. Takes a man to think through the practicalities you see. ;D
You would have to cover the windows first though, surely ?
Note - I did NOT say Shirley
No Shirley ~ he would leave the windows open and paint the rooms en passant
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Why doesn't he just abseil down the building with his paintpod in hand ? whistle:
Not practical Miss D ....... Abseiling down the building whilst holding a paintpod is strictly a one way trip ... then he has to climb up again to abseil down to do the next strip of painting. Now if he were to bungy jump from the roof, paintpod at the ready, he could get several strips painted as he bounced up and down before he needed to climb back to the roof. Takes a man to think through the practicalities you see. ;D
You would have to cover the windows first though, surely ?
Note - I did NOT say Shirley
No Shirley ~ he would leave the windows open and paint the rooms en passant
Do his windows open inwards then ?
Cos if they open outwards, he would end up painting the inside of them, not to mention leaving patches unpainted where the windows covered the wall...
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Why doesn't he just abseil down the building with his paintpod in hand ? whistle:
Not practical Miss D ....... Abseiling down the building whilst holding a paintpod is strictly a one way trip ... then he has to climb up again to abseil down to do the next strip of painting. Now if he were to bungy jump from the roof, paintpod at the ready, he could get several strips painted as he bounced up and down before he needed to climb back to the roof. Takes a man to think through the practicalities you see. ;D
You would have to cover the windows first though, surely ?
Note - I did NOT say Shirley
No Shirley ~ he would leave the windows open and paint the rooms en passant
Do his windows open inwards then ?
Cos if they open outwards, he would end up painting the inside of them, not to mention leaving patches unpainted where the windows covered the wall...
One Window fixed - the others open inwards...
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whistle:
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whistle:
It could werk... rubschin:
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whistle:
It could werk... rubschin:
Should we club together for the flowers now ?
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whistle:
It could werk... rubschin:
Should we club together for the flowers now ?
No flowers 'cept for close family... lol:
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eeek:
I wondered why my ears were burning.
The outside of the house does need repainting. I'll get a man in though.
Been doing a few jobs around the house but I will probably get someone in to do some work there as well. One of my neighbours has recommended a lady painter and decorator. So I might get a woman in.
Had to give up swimming for a while, I slipped over in the kitchen and wrenched my shoulder. Still got a twinge but I'm back down the pool now every morning.
Joined the Ware U3A group but still not sure, the groups are full of old people. noooo:
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Your own thread on the pub eh, EH? ;)
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Fame at last. cloud9:
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I dream of having me own thread like.... sad24:
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eeek:
I wondered why my ears were burning.
The outside of the house does need repainting. I'll get a man in though.
Been doing a few jobs around the house but I will probably get someone in to do some work there as well. One of my neighbours has recommended a lady painter and decorator. So I might get a woman in.
Had to give up swimming for a while, I slipped over in the kitchen and wrenched my shoulder. Still got a twinge but I'm back down the pool now every morning.
Joined the Ware U3A group but still not sure, the groups are full of old people. noooo:
Nice to see you in here Uncle ... sorry to hear about your fall. We younger old 'uns have to be careful. ;)
The local (to me) U3A is based in Abergele..... they are all over 80 and mainly barking mad. I did consider it but was pleased to discover that I felt "Too Young" to belong cloud9:
Getting a wummun in is not a bad idea...... My mad Scots neighbour had a wummun in to decorate his place a couple of years ago. Quite by accident, he had thought she was a he when he phoned to arrange a quote but having recovered from the shock when she turned up he gave her the work.
He told me she was sooooo fussy about detail and cleaning up that the house was cleaner when she finished than when she started. She also made him regular cups of tea and brought along her own biscuits. He reckoned that she took twice as long to paint inside and out than he would have done a few years back but she made an excellent job and gave him a free 5 year guarantee on her work.
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Laydee mate of mine got a man in for some decorating and he ended up moving in eyes:
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I am doing my own decorating sad24:
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I am doing my own decorating sad24:
You're not getting the p... better not lol:
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lol:
You are on top form Mr JOM cloud9:
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I am doing my own decorating sad24:
happy100