The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: GROWLER on July 17, 2007, 04:35:12 PM

Title: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: GROWLER on July 17, 2007, 04:35:12 PM
Been sittng on my desk for 2 days now, and I just cannot bring myself to open it.  noooo: noooo:
The DREADED annual large brown envelope from my accountant. evil:

He's shortly swanning off in his new Porshe Carrera S to his new holiday villa in Spain that he's just proudly announced that he's purchased.
I hope it's infested with rabid fleas when he gets there. evil:
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Misunderstood on July 17, 2007, 04:59:47 PM
Ummmm1  I occasionally get letters like that.    noooo:

The last one that I was too  scared2: to open turned out to be a party invitation.  ::)

I suppose I had got it right really........... 
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Pastis on July 17, 2007, 05:10:27 PM
You really need to get yourself a robust letter opener G.  I still use one I was given over 20 years ago, silver and crystal, a beauty.

I attack the incoming missives without fear or prejudice... slicing through the folded 120gsm like a hot knife through butter.
Manilla? ... Pah! Take that!! fence:

My honour thus satisfied, I can ruminate over the contents...  confused:
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Nick on July 17, 2007, 09:06:44 PM
I have asked my aco9untant for the bad news or end July. I have not heard from her scared2:
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: GROWLER on July 17, 2007, 09:44:55 PM
I have asked my aco9untant for the bad news or end July. I have not heard from her scared2:

S'pose it does get very time consuming when dealing in millions.
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Barman on July 18, 2007, 02:00:17 AM
I used to deal with a supplier in the ?States who added all incoming mail (snail mail, not e-mail then) to a big pair of scales on his desk and would only open it when it tipped 5lbs?  confused:

As you can imagine, it created all sorts of problems if some form of ?dialogue? was required that necessitated sending things back and forth.  ::)
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Nick on July 18, 2007, 10:55:54 AM
Foolish I know, but I haven't opened any of my bank statements for years. I keep them in a bin liner under my desk redface:
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Misunderstood on July 18, 2007, 11:15:44 AM
Foolish I know, but I haven't opened any of my bank statements for years. I keep them in a bin liner under my desk redface:

I have a tendency to do the same thing  redface:  And being as I am getting 'somewhat' forgetful in my dotage I later come across a stack of unopened statements and yell at the bank for not sending them out in a timely manner.

At least I am at last learning how to apologise - in a 'stilted' sort of way... Bah!
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Nick on July 18, 2007, 11:18:27 AM
I don't forget about them. I deliberately don't open them. Is this a confession or are others likewisely avoidant?
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 18, 2007, 11:22:56 AM
I don't forget about them. I deliberately don't open them. Is this a confession or are others likewisely avoidant?

I don't open mine either - I merely take them to the office and shred them. Same goes for the Barclaycard statement.
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Nick on July 18, 2007, 11:23:39 AM
Good man! bom

I give you a clap
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Bar Wench on July 18, 2007, 11:26:01 AM
I don't open them either. I do everything on line so if there was a discrepency I would have already seen it by the time the statement arrived.
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Nick on July 18, 2007, 11:27:07 AM
I don't look online either redface:
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 18, 2007, 11:35:00 AM
I don't look online either redface:

Good man - a clap for that too!
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Nick on July 18, 2007, 11:36:02 AM
So, why are bank statements soooooooooooooo scary?
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Bar Wench on July 18, 2007, 11:36:19 AM
I don't look online either redface:

I didn't until I discovered I was paying for a gym membership I thought I had canceled nine months previously.  redface:
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: The Moan Ranger on July 18, 2007, 11:46:42 AM
I don't look online either redface:

I didn't until I discovered I was paying for a gym membership I thought I had canceled nine months previously.  redface:

Mrs TMR had the same thing, although it was nearer two years worth - we're still trying to get it all back!
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Nick on July 18, 2007, 11:47:42 AM
Which is why this is a foolish phobia, nevertheless my bin liner runneth over
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: GROWLER on July 18, 2007, 12:21:59 PM
Bloody hell, that's a relief. I can come clean now then. whistle:

I suspected I was one of the very few idiots in the world that doesn't  (deliberately) open bank or credit card statements.
Guess we're all just too bloody scared to face the truth, i.e, we've overspent YET again. sad32:
Bloody downright irresponsible and pathetic though really.

The LARGE brown enevelope remains on my desk unopened, with other stuff gradually piling on top of it.  happy088
I'm hoping it'll become too heavy to lift everything off, and can use that as an excuse to the taxman for non payment p'raps?
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Nick on July 18, 2007, 12:26:31 PM
OPEN IT!!

ANd gimme a call!
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: GROWLER on July 18, 2007, 12:27:36 PM
OPEN IT!!

ANd gimme a call!

NO!,I can't, it won't let me, and why?
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Nick on July 18, 2007, 12:32:26 PM
I was on the phone. Try now!
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: GROWLER on July 18, 2007, 12:35:26 PM
I was on the phone. Try now!

Why?
NO

OK. Curiosity is getting the better of me. I'm ringing. Do you want my bank credit slip details p'raps? happy088
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Nick on July 18, 2007, 12:36:52 PM
Growler is Mr Grumpy. evil:
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: GROWLER on July 18, 2007, 12:38:32 PM
Growler is Mr Grumpy. evil:

No I'm not. Just a bit................ rubschin: fraught. happy088
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Snoopy on July 18, 2007, 12:40:21 PM
I don't have this problem .... The Bank of Snoopy is accessed via a loose floor board and if the box within is empty then I don''t spend. If there is cash in it "Happy Days".
Statements to see how broke I am ~ not needed. Places hand in jeans pocket .... is there anything other than a clean hankie and a bunch of keys? Yes ..... Two Twenty Pound notes and a couple of fivers plus loose change. I am a wealthy hound today.   cloud9:
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Nick on July 18, 2007, 12:57:02 PM
I don't have this problem .... The Bank of Snoopy is accessed via a loose floor board and if the box within is empty then I don''t spend. If there is cash in it "Happy Days".
Statements to see how broke I am ~ not needed. Places hand in jeans pocket .... is there anything other than a clean hankie and a bunch of keys? Yes ..... Two Twenty Pound notes and a couple of fivers plus loose change. I am a wealthy hound today.   cloud9:

Exactly how I work (apart from the floorboard bit)
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Misunderstood on July 20, 2007, 12:30:51 PM
I have been repeatedly accused of pretending to be royalty.

I never have a penny on me - ever!

I am never a soft touch for beggars, or homeless kittens or tempted with snap purchases, if in the rare event I actually want to buy something - I leave it to my "Keeper of the Purse" to sort it out.

I did that once and walked off forgetting that I was alone...

then spent an uncomfortable half hour explaining odd behaviour to store detective.   redface:
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Nick on July 20, 2007, 12:33:11 PM
You should be in the Clink!
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Misunderstood on July 20, 2007, 01:07:37 PM
You should be in the Clink!

I should have company!
Title: Re: Inability to open envelopes
Post by: Nick on July 20, 2007, 01:09:44 PM
I fear they are full. But we shall visit!