The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on April 16, 2008, 07:16:10 AM

Title: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Nick on April 16, 2008, 07:16:10 AM
I had forgotten that Mrs Nick's bosom buddy is turning up later. She is a dedicated follower of the La Leche League (look it up) and breast fed her kids until they were 7.

She also has enormous feet.
And is a Catholic convert.
And is also a social worker evil:

All in all.Bonkers
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Barman on April 16, 2008, 07:34:27 AM
I had forgotten that Mrs Nick's bosom buddy is turning up later. She is a dedicated follower of the La Leche League (look it up) and breast fed her kids until they were 7.

She also has enormous feet.
And is a Catholic convert.
And is also a social worker evil:

All in all.Bonkers
Down the pub then?
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: GROWLER on April 16, 2008, 07:41:44 AM
I did, but managed to 'tear myself away' from it, as it looked too exciting to read tbh

http://www.laleche.org.uk/

 ::)

You knowsome strange people Nick...so does Mrs G if that helps. Is it any wonder you and I are completely bonkers?
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 16, 2008, 07:42:36 AM
I had forgotten that Mrs Nick's bosom buddy is turning up later. She is a dedicated follower of the La Leche League (look it up) and breast fed her kids until they were 7.

She also has enormous feet.
And is a Catholic convert.
And is also a social worker evil:

All in all.Bonkers

Sounds like time to stock up on those Jehovah's Witness leaflets to leave all round the house.
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 16, 2008, 07:43:16 AM
I did, but managed to 'tear myself away' from it, as it looked too exciting to read tbh

http://www.laleche.org.uk/

 ::)
Sucker
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: GROWLER on April 16, 2008, 07:45:20 AM
Tit talk though. rubschin:

You going to hide a tape recorder? lol:

She doing a slide show? razz:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 16, 2008, 07:52:16 AM
Tit talk though. rubschin:

You going to hide a tape recorder? lol:

She doing a slide show? razz:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nose.ru%2Fphoto%2Fpreview%2Fbreast_lift01.jpg&hash=794265ffc80ffcb300cba9c2b21b8d13de412514)

 noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: GROWLER on April 16, 2008, 07:57:50 AM
Tit talk though. rubschin:

You going to hide a tape recorder? lol:

She doing a slide show? razz:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nose.ru%2Fphoto%2Fpreview%2Fbreast_lift01.jpg&hash=794265ffc80ffcb300cba9c2b21b8d13de412514)

 noooo: noooo:

Yea. rubschin:
P'raps no then. noooo:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Nick on April 16, 2008, 08:35:35 AM
Quote
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

As opposed to the manly sort, one presumes rubschin:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Nick on April 17, 2008, 09:46:40 AM
She brought her teenage son with her.He is sleeping in the spare room aka my office.

He has just woken up! evil:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Uncle Mort on April 17, 2008, 09:53:51 AM
Shouldn't he be at school/college or gainfully occupied?
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Snoopy on April 17, 2008, 10:08:45 AM
Teenagers are programmed to spend half the day in bed and not want to sleep at night.  evil:


I assume this one is between exams and results or some similar excuse for non attendance at a place of learning or gainful employment. What teenagers call "taking a gap" and we oldies would refer to as  being "Bone idle".
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: GROWLER on April 17, 2008, 12:42:17 PM
She brought her teenage son with her.He is sleeping in the spare room aka my office.

He has just woken up! evil:

They stayed over then? eeek:

I really wasn't aware that their was so much to be discussed about tits tbh. noooo:

Does her knowledge base extend into fetish's by any chance?
I have this desire I need to discuss. cloud9:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Uncle Mort on April 17, 2008, 12:55:18 PM
I have this desire I need to discuss. cloud9:

You can tell us, it wont go any further.  whistle:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Nick on April 17, 2008, 01:07:22 PM
No Mr G. Boobies were not discussed.

Hers are IMMENSE sick2:

They have now gone off to experience the thrill of the Mersey Ferry.
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Bar Wench on April 17, 2008, 01:17:12 PM
She probably whipped them out in public to feed too.  noooo:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Nick on April 17, 2008, 01:17:46 PM
Oh yes. on a point of principle. noooo:

Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Bar Wench on April 17, 2008, 01:18:48 PM
I was on a plane once with a militant breast feeder. I swear she spent 90% of the flight nekid to the waist feeding twins.  noooo: Nipples everywhere.  noooo:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Nick on April 17, 2008, 01:19:30 PM
 sick2:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Bar Wench on April 17, 2008, 01:25:34 PM
 sick2: indeed
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Nick on April 18, 2008, 09:26:17 AM
Well she has left.

2 odd things

Her bosom is so enormous that she had to wear an apron when eating to prevent things disappearing down her cleavage.

I helped her with her luggage.All of it (and there was a lot) was in supermarket shopping baskets rubschin:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: GROWLER on April 18, 2008, 09:29:05 AM
You do seem to have a lot of visitors Nick. Who is it this weekend then?

Is the kettle on? Be 'round in 15. point:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Snoopy on April 18, 2008, 09:44:34 AM
Well she has left.

2 odd things

Her bosom is so enormous that she had to wear an apron when eating to prevent things disappearing down her cleavage.

I helped her with her luggage.All of it (and there was a lot) was in supermarket shopping baskets rubschin:

Sounds like a bag lady to me!
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Nick on April 18, 2008, 10:04:10 AM
She is nuts. She went for a walk through the village at 8 this morning wearing only an orange dressing gown, bobble hat and sandals!
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Snoopy on April 18, 2008, 10:14:09 AM
A bag lady ~ deffo! noooo:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Nick on April 18, 2008, 10:15:38 AM
She is now en route to Rugby.She actually asked me if I thought the motorway would be the quickest route! rubschin:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Snoopy on April 18, 2008, 10:44:49 AM
You do seem to know some weird people Nick.

















Errrrrrrrr .. You know me don't you?  rubschin:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: GROWLER on April 18, 2008, 12:23:10 PM
You do seem to know some weird people Nick.

















Errrrrrrrr .. You know me don't you?  rubschin:

Yea? And? rubschin:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Snoopy on April 18, 2008, 12:24:57 PM
You do seem to know some weird people Nick.

















Errrrrrrrr .. You know me don't you?  rubschin:

Yea? And? rubschin:

He knows you too  point:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Bar Wench on April 18, 2008, 12:25:14 PM
How on earth are these people still on the visiting schedule?!?!?!? Why haven't you pruned them from the address book?
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Barman on April 18, 2008, 12:26:41 PM
How on earth are these people still on the visiting schedule?!?!?!? Why haven't you pruned them from the address book?
They’re in Mrs. Nick’s book… so I’d be surprised if she can find it!  point:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Nick on April 18, 2008, 01:14:52 PM
Too true! evil:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: GROWLER on April 18, 2008, 01:20:59 PM
You do seem to know some weird people Nick.

Errrrrrrrr .. You know me don't you?  rubschin:
Yea? And? rubschin:
He knows you too  point:

So predictable. ::)

Look. If it wasn't for me, he WOULD in fact be a total barm cake by now. I feel proud to have saved him from total lunacy. eeek:
I see the glimmer of hope in his eyes, every time he meets me. cloud9:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Snoopy on April 18, 2008, 01:22:39 PM
That's fear ...... he is checking for exits.
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: GROWLER on April 18, 2008, 01:26:24 PM
That's fear ...... he is checking for exits.

Why? I'm just 'pussy cat' with bear like tendencies....all warm cuddly and wholesome.  cloud9:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Nick on April 18, 2008, 01:35:20 PM
Shit. The MIL phoned.One of her oldest friends died on Wednesday. Now another has died today.

Mrs Nick has suggested we go over there to see her and take dinner with us.

I DON'T WANT TO GO Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Bar Wench on April 18, 2008, 01:36:17 PM
Nick, I think you might be feeling a reoccurance of the vomit.  ;)
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Nick on April 18, 2008, 01:37:39 PM
Good plan! eveilgrin:

Actually salvation has come in an unexpected form.Our neighbour has had a frightful accident (her kneecap popped off eeek:) and I have offered to feed her two sons while she goes to hospital to have it glued back on.

SHe is likely to be there for a long time.
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Bar Wench on April 18, 2008, 01:43:08 PM
 cloud9:

Problem solved!
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Snoopy on April 18, 2008, 01:47:37 PM
Nick World is back in balance.  whistle:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 18, 2008, 02:02:55 PM
Shit. The MIL phoned.One of her oldest friends died on Wednesday. Now another has died today.

Mrs Nick has suggested we go over there to see her and take dinner with us.

I DON'T WANT TO GO Banghead Banghead
If the old biddies are popping off like cheap Xmas tree bulbs, you might want to go see MIL with you best 'inheritance smile' on  whistle:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Just One More on April 18, 2008, 02:16:54 PM
...Our neighbour has had a frightful accident (her kneecap popped off eeek:) and I have offered to feed her two sons while she goes to hospital to have it glued back on...

That sounds hellish painful
1) How do you do it?
2) Glue it back on  eeek:
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Snoopy on April 18, 2008, 02:18:59 PM
...Our neighbour has had a frightful accident (her kneecap popped off eeek:) and I have offered to feed her two sons while she goes to hospital to have it glued back on...

That sounds hellish painful
1) How do you do it?
2) Glue it back on  eeek:

Read all about it here:
http://www.kerlanjobe.com/index.php~practiceId=1052&lib=Injury&dir=categories&categoryId=197.html
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Just One More on April 18, 2008, 02:23:16 PM
I live and learn. Sooner her than me
Title: Re: A visit from Mrs Unigate
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 18, 2008, 04:00:42 PM
You do seem to know some weird people Nick.

Errrrrrrrr .. You know me don't you?  rubschin:
Yea? And? rubschin:
He knows you too  point:

So predictable. ::)

Look. If it wasn't for me, he WOULD in fact be a total barm cake by now. I feel proud to have saved him from total lunacy. eeek:
I see the glimmer of hope in his eyes, every time he meets me. cloud9:

Not to diminish your role but how would we tell the difference?  point: