The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2007, 09:58:35 AM

Title: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 21, 2007, 09:58:35 AM
Apologies for my lack of appearance in the bar over the last few days. The garden called for help and I was out there. I'm not really here now either. Have taken the day off work and am off shortly for a facial.

Now, never having had one of these before I am expecting miracles. Is it too much to expect?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 21, 2007, 10:04:54 AM
The short answer is yes.

Now why do women feel the need to take a whole day off for a bit of body maintenance?

A colleague recently took a day just for a visit to the hairdressers. When she came in the next day I greeted her with,
"Oh, the appointment was cancelled then?"

 ;D
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Barman on May 21, 2007, 10:49:44 AM
Apologies for my lack of appearance in the bar over the last few days. The garden called for help and I was out there. I'm not really here now either. Have taken the day off work and am off shortly for a facial.

Now, never having had one of these before I am expecting miracles. Is it too much to expect?
Snigger...  redface:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 21, 2007, 11:03:42 AM
Apologies for my lack of appearance in the bar over the last few days. The garden called for help and I was out there. I'm not really here now either. Have taken the day off work and am off shortly for a facial.

Now, never having had one of these before I am expecting miracles. Is it too much to expect?
Snigger...  redface:
A farcical what?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Berek on May 21, 2007, 01:59:49 PM
and am off shortly for a facial.



 eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Barman on May 21, 2007, 02:01:10 PM
and am off shortly for a facial.



 eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes:
Dirty girl eh?  noooo:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 21, 2007, 02:02:10 PM
and am off shortly for a facial.



 eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes:

With Mind Soap Out Wash. (Rearrange to suit)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: ice and a slice on May 21, 2007, 03:38:38 PM
Apologies for my lack of appearance in the bar over the last few days. The garden called for help and I was out there. I'm not really here now either. Have taken the day off work and am off shortly for a facial.

Now, never having had one of these before I am expecting miracles. Is it too much to expect?

Probably no miracles but it's nice and makes you feel good (no smutty comments here thanks boys). 

The day for a bit a 'me time' is essential.  I squeeze in the odd half hour but the whole day - bliss!
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 21, 2007, 03:57:06 PM
and am off shortly for a facial.



 eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes:

With Mind Soap Out Wash. (Rearrange to suit)

Soap? This is Berek we are talking about here, you want industrial strength bleach  point:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on May 21, 2007, 04:05:10 PM
Nothing wrong with a quick wipe down with a damp flannel.. bloody cheaper too smile:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Barman on May 21, 2007, 04:08:07 PM
Nothing wrong with a quick wipe down with a damp flannel.. bloody cheaper too smile:
Exactly!

BF has obviously forgotten ?treat em mean, keep em keen?.

She starts off wanting a facial and next thing you know she wants something else.

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thepearloutlet.com%2Fbuypearls_images%2FSouth_Sea_pearl_necklace.jpg&hash=c20352c11f5405476765da020bec34d487fb9d68)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 21, 2007, 04:25:44 PM
It would seem that Berek isn't the only one with a very dirty mind or am I reading more into this than you intended? rubschin: No I don't think so.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 21, 2007, 04:29:48 PM
Not sure what you lot are on about.

I Googled "Bar Wench Facial" and got a picture of a young lady who appeared to have been drinking Guinness?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: ice and a slice on May 21, 2007, 04:56:45 PM
Nothing wrong with a quick wipe down with a damp flannel.. bloody cheaper too smile:

.....and a quick whipping with birch twigs is great for a massage. ::)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Barman on May 21, 2007, 07:01:49 PM
Not sure what you lot are on about.

I Googled "Bar Wench Facial" and got a picture of a young lady who appeared to have been drinking Guinness?
lol:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on May 21, 2007, 07:13:53 PM
Nothing wrong with a quick wipe down with a damp flannel.. bloody cheaper too smile:

.....and a quick whipping with birch twigs is great for a massage. ::)
You can keep your shrubbery to yourself young lady!!!! ;D If this post leads to comments about your  nicely trimmed bush then it was  not my fault redface:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: ice and a slice on May 21, 2007, 07:52:29 PM
Nothing wrong with a quick wipe down with a damp flannel.. bloody cheaper too smile:

.....and a quick whipping with birch twigs is great for a massage. ::)
You can keep your shrubbery to yourself young lady!!!! ;D If this post leads to comments about your  nicely trimmed bush then it was  not my fault redface:

Oooh-eerr!!! redface:

Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 22, 2007, 08:03:59 AM
Icey, t'was blissful! Why can't I have married a rich man instead of an impoverished teacher who makes me work in a shoddy bar. Then I could be a lady who lunches and has massages and facials all the time!


The rest of you.  censored:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: ice and a slice on May 22, 2007, 08:37:30 AM
Icey, t'was blissful! Why can't I have married a rich man instead of an impoverished teacher who makes me work in a shoddy bar. Then I could be a lady who lunches and has massages and facials all the time!


The rest of you.  censored:

Oh to be a lady wot lunches.....

Mate and me have a once a year treat and book a bliss day (boys  censored:) in a local health spa where we have facials, massages, swim, sit in the spa, nice lunch with wine and have a laugh.  Heavenly!
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 22, 2007, 09:48:01 AM
Now that sounds  cloud9: Maybe I need to institute something along the same lines!
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 22, 2007, 02:43:20 PM
Girls, let me tells you secret from home.  Best for facials is from milk of Yak, wait til curdled a bit yoghurty then smear all over face.  You will beauty skin like Mongolian princess.

If want more tips, only to ask ;)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 22, 2007, 02:44:44 PM
OK, I do agony corner, you deal with skin.

OK?

Oh and downstairs stuff! drumroll:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 22, 2007, 02:48:49 PM
Oh Nicky, you drive hards bargain, but i like you.  You have deal pumpkin, Muachhhh!

Poka poka
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 22, 2007, 02:50:01 PM
OK. Start your new plumbing thread, with a skin option, including facials, and I will stick with the psycho stuff.

OK?

And I bet I will be busier!

Oh. and poka poka to you too!
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 22, 2007, 05:17:53 PM
Hmmm, I could starts new thread but I like Girl Stuff so if ok dokey with everybod we can Probley Page and Beauty Tips right here.

I know yous going to be busier Nicky; mens have lots more psyche probs than us ladies  ;)

So, we can cover all sorts here, like depilty, depilators, dephilib.   shaving, complexion, plumbing probs, tiime of moonth, make-up and of course fashon tips direct from Vladivostok.

I try to be the Margarita Pracatan of lady beauty right here in The Snog for you advise. . .  OK?

Poka poka. . .  big kisses
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 22, 2007, 05:20:56 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.culturekitchen.com%2Fhome%2Fimage%2Fgoodgrief.gif&hash=75c2de10c98bbcebaecf1825be18489be9b4559a)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 22, 2007, 05:29:29 PM
Hmmm, I could starts new thread but I like Girl Stuff so if ok dokey with everybod we can Probley Page and Beauty Tips right here.

I know yous going to be busier Nicky; mens have lots more psyche probs than us ladies  ;)

So, we can cover all sorts here, like depilty, depilators, dephilib.   shaving, complexion, plumbing probs, tiime of moonth, make-up and of course fashon tips direct from Vladivostok.

I try to be the Margarita Pracatan of lady beauty right here in The Snog for you advise. . .  OK?

Poka poka. . .  big kisses

Look.

1. Outside stuff; skin, boobs, fat bottoms, thighs, 34 ddds (You), clingy underwear, thongs (yuk - up the bumcrack)
2. Sensitive psychological probs (Me)

Otherwise I will sue and my solicitors will LASh you. oh and at your expense. Or Trading Standards, and they are hard bastards, I know!
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 22, 2007, 05:30:52 PM
I know yous going to be busier Nicky; mens have lots more psyche probs than us ladies  ;)


Barman, please can we have a spitting coffee over the keyboard emoticon as that was the effect of reading that line  point:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 22, 2007, 05:31:23 PM
Is ok Snooops, this is just little Lady corner of The Snog. You have plenty space in the Saloon. Perhaps you have lady probs though? I have big ears for my friends, sweety, muachhh!
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 22, 2007, 05:32:41 PM
Told you

You outside
Me inside

Gottit?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 22, 2007, 05:39:39 PM
Is ok Nicky, i stick to the outside bits. Why you getting so huffety puffety? I think Nicky needs to Sticky to Agony Corny lol:

You like my joke, sweetie?

Anyways, here in Girl Stuff I will be present talk later on how to have best nails, painting and scratching later. There may still be places if you want to book.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 22, 2007, 07:00:42 PM
scratching later. .
Crabs. I warned you. scared2:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: ice and a slice on May 22, 2007, 07:07:26 PM
So Olga...

I need some advise please?

- How do you stop underwired bras from chaffing?

- How long should I leave an oatmeal face mask on?

- What kind of knickers are best when wearing tight jeans?

- How many barmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

Much love

Icey xx
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 22, 2007, 07:09:04 PM
So Olga...

I need some advise please?

- How do you stop underwired bras from chaffing?

Talcum powder

- How long should I leave an oatmeal face mask on?

15 - 20 mins
- What kind of knickers are best when wearing tight jeans?

None

- How many barmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

None that is why they employ wenches!  
Much love

Icey xx
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 22, 2007, 07:27:43 PM
Have just opened my freebie bag of stuff from yesterday's facial. Wrinkle cream! WRINKLE CREAM! What on earth are they trying to tell me!?!? sad24:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: ice and a slice on May 22, 2007, 07:34:31 PM
Have just opened my freebie bag of stuff from yesterday's facial. Wrinkle cream! WRINKLE CREAM! What on earth are they trying to tell me!?!? sad24:

It's never too early apparently.  I need complete miracle bl**dy cream! cry:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 22, 2007, 07:44:10 PM
Icey, thanks for your Queery and I think mostly the bar Wench sweetie is prolly right. I had to lok up "chafing" in my dix and fouund a food warmer!
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.catering-suppliers.com%2Fproduct_pictures%2F1124788124.jpg&hash=8207cb02b478c8e26f923c24f74524f5e9712be9)
but i don't think it's right for bra... unless you want bring him up to temperature...  ;D

Why you want to put Muesli on face dear? bes advice is Yak Yoghurt like i saids earlier, Princess.

Tight jeans and knickers? Hmm, baby, where have you been... ;D Like Wenchy said, none is best or the briefest G-string, dear.

And last Q. My guess is 2. One to change light bulb and one to answer him when he says "Watt?"

Hope this helps, sweetie, poka poka.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on May 22, 2007, 08:47:05 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.culturekitchen.com%2Fhome%2Fimage%2Fgoodgrief.gif&hash=75c2de10c98bbcebaecf1825be18489be9b4559a)
yours is much nicer than mine

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi20.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fb236%2Ftafmad%2F2004102500990938.jpg&hash=323dc32244cc28660639bf8a6e5feadfa5f9009d)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: ice and a slice on May 22, 2007, 09:07:57 PM
Icey, thanks for your Queery and I think mostly the bar Wench sweetie is prolly right. I had to lok up "chafing" in my dix and fouund a food warmer!
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.catering-suppliers.com%2Fproduct_pictures%2F1124788124.jpg&hash=8207cb02b478c8e26f923c24f74524f5e9712be9)
but i don't think it's right for bra... unless you want bring him up to temperature...  ;D

Why you want to put Muesli on face dear? bes advice is Yak Yoghurt like i saids earlier, Princess.

Tight jeans and knickers? Hmm, baby, where have you been... ;D Like Wenchy said, none is best or the briefest G-string, dear.

And last Q. My guess is 2. One to change light bulb and one to answer him when he says "Watt?"

Hope this helps, sweetie, poka poka.

Thank you Olga darling

You're my hero! ;D
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on May 22, 2007, 09:37:51 PM
Hero? Shurely that is shome mishtake? Or are you keeping something from us?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Lizzie on May 23, 2007, 05:44:18 AM
Quote from: ice and a slice link=topic=307. msg4455#msg4455 date=1179868077

Thank you Olga darling

You're my hero! ;D
You been peeking Icy? naughty boy.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 23, 2007, 07:28:44 AM
Have just opened my freebie bag of stuff from yesterday's facial. Wrinkle cream! WRINKLE CREAM! What on earth are they trying to tell me!?!? sad24:
If your face is OK then it must be for your knees.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 23, 2007, 07:35:23 AM
No, can't be they are scar ridden to buggery no help for them.  noooo:

My raddled 60 year old Mother asked me to recomend a wrinkle for her. I don't think she has been near a pot of moisturiser in 30 years! That and 20 years in Spain haven't exactly made her skin smooth as a virgin's arse. I recomended a sander. I am now in the dog house.  sad24:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 23, 2007, 07:41:34 AM
No, can't be they are scar ridden to buggery no help for them.  noooo:

You were warned about kneeling on the gravel in the car park. ::)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 23, 2007, 08:05:01 AM
That and running through plate glass windows and kneeling in the shards. redface:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 23, 2007, 08:07:31 AM
That and running through plate glass windows and kneeling in the shards. redface:
That would really surprise me from most people. noooo:

Most people I say. ::)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 23, 2007, 09:39:26 AM
I know.  noooo:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Barman on May 23, 2007, 09:48:25 AM
I know.  noooo:
You must have been really desperate for a fag that day eh? I bet that tobacconist wishes he?d never closed.  whacky069
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 24, 2007, 12:32:40 AM
Hello girls and boys!

Just want to says I will have special Beauty clinic for you Bankers holidays over weekend. I know you want to look best fro your man  ;)

Rumours of wisit to Mr Bore are not truth. Well, we had some terribles tea but he's not so hospital welcoming man, so for time been I stick with Mr Pastey ;) ... we might be going away in June he tell me, but I wait for tickets. Should I believe him?

Anyways, just want to tell you that I might add recipes (foods) on my help line if Nicky has no probs. Foods is not psyche Nicky is it?

Poka poka, darklings!

Olga
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: ice and a slice on May 24, 2007, 07:40:19 AM
Olga darling

I need some recipes this weekend.

What can I make out of my fridge contents?

I have -

2 chicken drumsticks

A pot of creme fraiche

An extra large bratwurst sausage

3 sprouts

Gorgonzola

A yam

Any ideas for a delicious dish with these ingredients?

Thank you...
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 24, 2007, 07:41:15 AM
 sick2:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 24, 2007, 08:38:08 AM
Any ideas for a delicious dish with these ingredients?
Not a dish, but they could be used in a scene I am writing for "Wallace and Gromit - A Bit of Hanky-Panky". redface:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2007, 08:38:34 AM
Olga darling

I need some recipes this weekend.

What can I make out of my fridge contents?

I have -

2 chicken drumsticks

A pot of creme fraiche

An extra large bratwurst sausage

3 sprouts

Gorgonzola

A yam

Any ideas for a delicious dish with these ingredients?

Thank you...

Add some flour and you could make a savoury cake (an underestimated foodstuff in my view). Use the Gorgonzola as icing.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 24, 2007, 08:54:24 AM
Savoury cake!?!?!?!?! eeek:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 24, 2007, 09:01:52 AM
Savoury cake!?!?!?!?! eeek:
Like alcohol-free beer. eeek:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2007, 09:04:26 AM
Have you never had a savoury cake. Like a pie, only solid all the way through and eaten in wedges.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 24, 2007, 09:06:57 AM
Have you never had a savoury cake. Like a pie, only solid all the way through and eaten in wedges.
I apparently ate a champagne cork as a toddler and that sounds similar.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 24, 2007, 09:15:29 AM
Have you never had a savoury cake. Like a pie, only solid all the way through and eaten in wedges.

Hint ~ Some people call it "Tapas" ........... But then they also buy cheap sombreros and straw donkeys.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 24, 2007, 09:24:58 AM
I eat tapas. Never would I have described any of them as savoury cake! Savoury cake sounds well, somewhat unsavoury.  sick2:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2007, 09:38:09 AM
Make one and be sruprised. Best time is when MILFH is visiting. She will be impressed!
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 24, 2007, 09:39:55 AM
She will be impressed!
Embossed more likely.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 24, 2007, 09:41:01 AM
Recipe?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2007, 09:45:05 AM
Just mix up anything you find in in your fridge in a blender, don't be too choosy. Sloosh in some water and  about half a pound of flour and bake the result till brown.  ENJOY drumroll:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 24, 2007, 09:45:51 AM
Recipe?
Take one MILFH, a sheet of heavy vellum and a damp cloth.
Place vellum over face of MILFH and press down hard with cloth for about 20 minutes.
Put MILFH in warm furnace set to 1500 degrees.
Remove when cool and place in urn.
Serve with tea and savoury cake.
 
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 24, 2007, 11:19:29 AM
http://www.curryfrenzy.com/curry/recipes/Easy-Curry-Cake.html

http://www.allotment.org.uk/recipe_details.php?recipe=46


http://www.sofeminine.co.uk/w/recipe/r1047/savoury-cake.html

Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 24, 2007, 11:42:06 AM
Just mix up anything you find in in your fridge in a blender, don't be too choosy. Sloosh in some water and  about half a pound of flour and bake the result till brown.  ENJOY drumroll:


Note to self, should I ever be invited to dinner at Nick's, find a polite excuse to decline  eeek:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 24, 2007, 11:48:23 AM
I am led to believe that generally he is a pretty decent cook. Those cakes look  sick2:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 24, 2007, 11:50:59 AM
Perhaps, but I'm naturally dubious about anyone who almost burns his house down microwaving a dishcloth  point:

The savoury cake just adds to that perception  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2007, 11:51:57 AM
I made a bread and butter pudding last night. drumroll:






















It's horrid!!
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 24, 2007, 11:56:37 AM
CHEF AVAILABLE

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fflagsplus.com%2Fflags%2F47664_bbq_snoopy.jpg&hash=9ff7a7b0b55c2356226525a792f8823f79b85a1a)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2007, 12:03:08 PM
I will bring you the remains of our B&B Pudding. Your MIL might like it evil:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 24, 2007, 12:06:33 PM
CHEF AVAILABLE

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fflagsplus.com%2Fflags%2F47664_bbq_snoopy.jpg&hash=9ff7a7b0b55c2356226525a792f8823f79b85a1a)
Do you do Korean food?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 24, 2007, 12:08:34 PM
You supply the Korean and I'll cook the bugger.
'specially the one that ate my uncle.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 24, 2007, 12:18:02 PM
I like BnB pudding. Mr Wench hates it so I never make it.  sad24: Send it here?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2007, 12:34:36 PM
I have never made it before and will never make it again. Thinking of putting the whole thing into a blender and , er :

a) baking it
b) disguising it as yoghurt
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 24, 2007, 12:37:30 PM
Olga darling
I need some recipes this weekend.
What can I make out of my fridge contents?
I have -
2 chicken drumsticks
A pot of creme fraiche
An extra large bratwurst sausage
3 sprouts
Gorgonzola
A yam
Any ideas for a delicious dish with these ingredients?

Thank you...

Icey, darlink,
This could be fun. Feels like TV chef thing with Anton Wobble Thomps when get ingreedyents. So, with Gorgonzoal and Creme Fraiche we make lovely cheesy dip, meat off chicken and Bratwurst we cut into long slice for dipping, da?

Throw the sprouts out; they only makes bad smell, dear. And that's it. Beautiful, yes?

Ooops. Silly me, I forgot one ingedient. I have special surprise for you here because I make earlier with the Yam ;)

You can have big cock for table decoration. Guests will love and admire your skills, dear.

I try to make picture of cock for you, you like?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm1.static.flickr.com%2F22%2F35093052_4e17b549c7_m.jpg&hash=11d666d29072fb485230a2d83eaad8f9bdea4a30)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 24, 2007, 12:39:12 PM
I have never made it before and will never make it again. Thinking of putting the whole thing into a blender and , er :

a) baking it
b) disguising it as yoghurt

c) (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wybone.co.uk%2Fdownload%2Fpictures%2FWheeled_Bins_and_Covers%2FAE240FP_01.jpg&hash=8b214645862fe7cc09d37578f7bdd85ba573703a)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2007, 12:45:19 PM
That had crossed my mind too. I think DS is an expert on Big Cocks, although views may differ........... scared2:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Pastis on May 24, 2007, 12:48:09 PM
If he knows the Culling brothers he'll certainly be skilled with a pairing knife ;)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 24, 2007, 12:48:50 PM
That had crossed my mind too. I think DS is an expert on Big Cocks, although views may differ........... scared2:

I understand he has been "boning" up on the subject in readiness.

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.proagro.com.ua%2Feng%2Fexp-imp%2Fturkey%2Fturkeys_eng.jpg&hash=208381a784e90493afba823c274d1b0c7f4d89a9)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2007, 12:49:44 PM
This thread is getting rude ( I think)

I just got an e mail from a colleague about something in which she said she would "stick it up tonight".

When I mentioned the Actress and the Bishop she got quite huffy.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 24, 2007, 12:50:36 PM
This thread is getting rude ( I think)

'sall in the mind Nick.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 24, 2007, 12:55:07 PM
Naughty boys!

What you do here in Girly Stuff? Taking peek?

Smacks and smiteys if not careful... spider:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Room Bore on May 24, 2007, 01:01:51 PM
Olga. Dot is back, and fairly grumpy. You have two options:

1. Come round and have it all out with her ( I will be in the shed)
2. Move to Berkshire

Sorry Olga, but I am sure you have many more possibilities in your new world.

And thanks, the vaseline is helping, though it's a bit sore. Sorry.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 24, 2007, 01:20:04 PM
Olga.
Move to Berkshire
That would not be a wise thing to do. evil:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Pastis on May 24, 2007, 01:22:32 PM
Olga, have you seen my tin of Tiger Balm anywhere?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 24, 2007, 01:23:16 PM
 redface:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Room Bore on May 24, 2007, 01:28:19 PM
You re labelled it!!

I have looked it up now!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heat_rub (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heat_rub)

DOES ANYONE HAVE AN ANTIDOTE??????????

MY TROUSERS ARE ON FIRE.

DOT DOT, HELP, DOT
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 24, 2007, 01:36:07 PM
DOES ANYONE HAVE AN ANTIDOTE??????????
I have an Aunty Dot, but she has been abandoned by her psychotic husband who has run off with some Russian tart.

He shouldn't mess with Dot, she has 'connections'. scared2:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2007, 01:48:44 PM
I fear this will all end in tears! eeek:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Pastis on May 24, 2007, 01:54:37 PM
Well it's certainly hotting up somewhere  ;)

I fear Olga is showing signs of some early KGB training scared2:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 24, 2007, 05:05:00 PM
Shhhhh, mishka. Really  redface:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Pastis on May 24, 2007, 05:05:58 PM
Sorry, Cabbage  ;)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 24, 2007, 05:08:27 PM
And out of Girly stuff room please. Men ::)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 24, 2007, 05:51:08 PM
The sunset in Murmansk will be beautiful this evening.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 24, 2007, 05:56:17 PM
I have some good Polaroids
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 24, 2007, 06:01:54 PM
I have some good Polaroids

The correct photographic response is:

"My Box-Brownie will be ready for you"

You have obviously been 'turned' so my colleague Mr Nickovich will be along shortly with your Polonium enema.

Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2007, 06:06:56 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 24, 2007, 06:10:00 PM
So! You knew Litvitnenko all along Mr Smiley?

You don't catch salmon with limpet, as we say.

*disappears in puffs smoke, sorry Puff
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 24, 2007, 06:47:33 PM
* reappears from puff*

Quick words for Nicky, dear. Since Russian constitutey don't allows Lugovoi to be excited extradited, same applies to Polony enemy thingy, thanks godness  ;D

Ok, so I had history with KGB but that's a long time ago now. Mr DS tricked me with words... snake he is evil:

You want see pic of me in training? I was handsome girl then, surely.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.vunet.org%2FRussian_woman_girl_army_soviet.jpg&hash=76c927875e3a0e2de7bfb2ec52a25c380d775419)

Ok, back to beauty tips and recipiss,

Poka, darlinks

Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 24, 2007, 06:52:50 PM
Never realised the KGB had a naval branch Olga. I'd have figured that as part of the military it would have been under the GRU.  point:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 24, 2007, 07:02:09 PM
Cheeky boy  ;) Have smite or you want Tiger Balm too  ;D

Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 24, 2007, 07:11:48 PM
Cheeky boy  ;) Have smite or you want Tiger Balm too  ;D
He just thinks you are a vulgar boatman.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 24, 2007, 07:21:13 PM
He just thinks you are a vulgar boatman.

You have such way with worms, you english. I love. Can we dance Turnkey Trot to Vulgar Boatman song?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2007, 07:29:46 PM
I Surrender!

Olga, take me NOW.

Or perhaps a week on Tuesday, if I can fit you in
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 24, 2007, 07:58:23 PM
* blushes *

Nicky  redface: Such feelings! Sorry dear but promise to Mr Pasty we go back to Russia for couple of weeks in June. Perhap if we don't having glasnost together then I can fit you July?

Now, off you go to Saloon and have drink ons me.

Girls, you think we need special pissword for Girly Stuff? Mens just wander in and we could be powdering nooses or summink  confused:


Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 25, 2007, 08:18:44 AM
Olga, beware of taking up with Nick, Mrs Nick has expensive saucepans and isn't afraid to use them!

Password sounds like a fab plan. These boys just don't understand that we need our space!
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: ice and a slice on May 25, 2007, 10:59:33 AM
Could be something boys can't even bring themselves to say - women's personal things???
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Barman on May 25, 2007, 11:01:14 AM
Could be something boys can't even bring themselves to say - women's personal things???
sick2:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 25, 2007, 11:04:23 AM
It's why I've always prefered a male boss. The slightest mention of womens private things and you got the day off no questions asked!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 25, 2007, 11:07:10 AM
It's why I've always prefered a male boss. The slightest mention of womens private things and you got the day off no questions asked!  eveilgrin:
I deal with cows that have such problems every day.

No special treatment here.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 25, 2007, 11:33:20 AM
It's why I've always prefered a male boss. The slightest mention of womens private things and you got the day off no questions asked!  eveilgrin:

Unfortunately not every male boss works in that way Wenchy. eveilgrin:

Kind of vaguely back on topic what the hell is this about

Quote
LONDON (Reuters) - Rising numbers of women are asking the NHS to provide cosmetic surgery on their genitals, doctors said on Friday.

Writing in the British Medical Journal, they said the number of "labial reductions" carried out in NHS hospitals had doubled to 800 a year over five years.

"More and more women are said to be troubled by the shape, size or proportions of their vulvas", wrote Lih Mei Liao and Sarah Creighton from London's UCL Elizabeth Garrett Anderson Institute for Women's Health.


Articles in women's magazines about "designer vaginas", the rising popularity of cosmetic surgery and Internet promotion by private health clinics were all fuelling demand.



The authors said women seeking surgery were being influenced by idealised images of genitalia shown in pornography and on private genitoplasty Web sites.

Liao said research was needed into whether surgery was bringing long-term benefits to patients, before the NHS started routinely offering the cosmetic procedure.

Why?  shocked003
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 25, 2007, 11:44:11 AM
Quote
The authors said women seeking surgery were being influenced by idealised images of genitalia shown in pornography and on private genitoplasty Web sites.

That is why. Perhaps if men weren't so over enuthisastic about porn we wouldn't feel as though we have to live up to that ideal.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 25, 2007, 12:17:43 PM
I am shocked by this. shocked003

Such a topic is not for public consumption and I would expect real ladies to keep their lips tightly sealed.

If such surgery is to become commonplace then there should be proper legislation and I hope it will have real teeth in it.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: ice and a slice on May 25, 2007, 12:37:07 PM
Never even occured to me!  Very strange.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 25, 2007, 01:52:38 PM
Me neither but a friend is paranoid that her's are droopy.  ::) All I could say is take your bra off then your tits will hide them!  point:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 25, 2007, 02:06:09 PM
Are you still friends???
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 25, 2007, 02:07:11 PM
I say friend, I mean more of an acquaintance. I thought I was being funny, she well didn't.  redface:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 25, 2007, 02:12:00 PM
Y'Know ~ I think I can see why she wouldn't have appreciated the funny side. whistle:









D'you s'pose there's a book in this "Labia I Have Known"? eyes:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Barman on May 25, 2007, 02:13:25 PM
Y'Know ~ I think I can see why she wouldn't have appreciated the funny side. whistle:









D'you s'pose there's a book in this "Labia I Have Known"? eyes:
Prolly not - there?s almost certainly a DVD tho!  whistle:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 25, 2007, 02:15:39 PM
Is this about Libya? An unknown place with a nutter in charge and hard to get in to.

Oh Angry9: redface:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bar Wench on May 25, 2007, 02:16:55 PM
Y'Know ~ I think I can see why she wouldn't have appreciated the funny side. whistle:

Really? Where do you think I went wrong?



D'you s'pose there's a book in this "Labia I Have Known"? eyes:

You men would just fill it with perfect specimens and we would be back where we started!
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 25, 2007, 02:17:07 PM
Y'Know ~ I think I can see why she wouldn't have appreciated the funny side. whistle:









D'you s'pose there's a book in this "Labia I Have Known"? eyes:
Prolly not - there?s almost certainly a DVD tho!  whistle:

I couldn't track them all down now .... but happy memories (and every one is just a little different to the others)
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 25, 2007, 02:17:52 PM
Is this about Libya? An unknown place with a nutter in charge and hard to get in to.

Oh Angry9: redface:

I'll explain on Friday.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Nick on May 25, 2007, 08:18:32 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: ice and a slice on May 25, 2007, 08:45:12 PM
No no labia pronounced lab..ee..ya is Swahili for "the scientists are here"
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 25, 2007, 10:01:37 PM
No no labia pronounced lab..ee..ya is Swahili for "the scientists are here"
I thought it was the new Skoda. redface:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Bikini Girl on May 26, 2007, 02:15:23 PM

I thought it was the new Skoda. redface:

 eeek: What the one that looks good enough to eat?  cloud9:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Misunderstood on May 26, 2007, 02:46:08 PM
Told you

You outside
Me inside

Gottit?

That is the usual situation. is it not?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 29, 2007, 04:42:51 PM
Why this site go titsup from time to tme.?

I had special notes ready to post for your interest girls but now I lost them; perhaps later, if I can find them again.

 ;) ;) for the boys. I know you look in here, naughty
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 29, 2007, 04:51:26 PM
It depends on how busy the servers get. I find it takes forever to load between 4.30 pm and 7pm. Presumably when everyone is either sending off their days work ready to go home or, having arrived home from work/school are all logging on.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 29, 2007, 05:02:04 PM
My eyes just glazing over when men talking technical, but imagine it might be very roamantic.

What's this logging you do Mr Snoops? Been busy in woodshed?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 29, 2007, 05:02:43 PM
It depends on how busy the servers get. I find it takes forever to load between 4.30 pm and 7pm. Presumably when everyone is either sending off their days work ready to go home or, having arrived home from work/school are all logging on.
::)
Did somebody slip some 'Serious pills' in your meals on wheels delivery today?

Olga wouldn't know a Server if it. . well 'served' her.

Tell her the horses at the power station are tired, and she will understand that it is too hard for her to grasp.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 29, 2007, 05:06:23 PM
I was under the impression she would grasp at anything even remotely hard   eyes:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 29, 2007, 05:11:03 PM
My eyes just glazing over when men talking technical, but imagine it might be very roamantic.

What's this logging you do Mr Snoops? Been busy in woodshed?

No woodsheds are Waynes's department.

As to your problem with site going tits up ~ it's probably the gas pressure in your area.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 29, 2007, 05:12:17 PM
I was under the impression she would grasp at anything even remotely hard   eyes:

Thats my boy. happ096

Don't feel more secure with the straps nice and tight again?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Olga on May 29, 2007, 07:11:50 PM
Romance tips and bits

Hello again girls! It's your Minx from Minsk, muachhh!
Well, found my notes at last, was a busy weekend and we get very irritable with Mr Putin. We all think his daisies numbered hopefully. And his name, when I think in English... well, he don't put in very much because he seldom smile.

Anyways, was thinking about to share romance tips, mmm. Now, long time ago i was trained in classic music as many Russian girls doing. We practical much time - many hours - and this is good thing because it helps in fingering. On weekend I was playing 'The Trout' for my boyfriend - he loves - and he said 'fingering is so delicate and fine' that he never want me to stop. Can you believe? This is sure way to man's heart. I urge you all practice, girls, 1.2.3.4.5.4.3.2.1 on both hands.

If your place is not big enough for piano then try smaller piece like trumpet or oboe, but remember - practice everyday for fingering technical.

Poka, muachhh!

Oooops, forgot, I was going to show ballgown for holiday.


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.synapticblur.com%2Fpics%2Fballdress.jpg&hash=f4554f9a5c5afc840d151aee691a223b27eb64f5)

Beautiful, da?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 29, 2007, 07:25:54 PM
Very nice dear ~ A real Ball Gown.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 30, 2007, 08:16:14 AM
Very nice dear ~ A real Ball Gown.

A girl with real balls should wear nothing less. sick2:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 30, 2007, 04:35:09 PM
I'm finding the fact you have considered such a thing rather disturbing Darwin.  shocked003

Anyway vaguely back on thread again I have a question for the lasses, what is this trend of wearing jeans AND skirts or dresses? Can't you decide what to wear or something?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Snoopy on May 30, 2007, 04:37:23 PM
Global Warming ~ same as is causing it to be bloody freezing this week.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Barman on May 31, 2007, 07:30:48 AM
I'm finding the fact you have considered such a thing rather disturbing Darwin.  shocked003

Anyway vaguely back on thread again I have a question for the lasses, what is this trend of wearing jeans AND skirts or dresses? Can't you decide what to wear or something?  rubschin:
Haven?t seen that ? picture?
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 31, 2007, 07:44:03 AM
Here you go:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.co.uk%2Fbristol%2Fcontent%2Fimages%2F2005%2F08%2F17%2F1_350x470.jpg&hash=9b1608cf104e7dbb07d3724de4d522c03ee507b3)

It's all the rage.
Title: Re: Girl stuff
Post by: Barman on May 31, 2007, 07:45:51 AM
Here you go:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.co.uk%2Fbristol%2Fcontent%2Fimages%2F2005%2F08%2F17%2F1_350x470.jpg&hash=9b1608cf104e7dbb07d3724de4d522c03ee507b3)

It's all the rage.
Some bizarre Muslim influence perhaps?  noooo: