The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on November 27, 2007, 12:33:56 PM
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They used to be everywhere in suburban gardens, but no longer.
Any gnome sightings out there?
I kind of miss them (but not much)
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A friend of ours has an apartment in the village and their neighbour has them… the thing is it is a holiday home so they pack them away inside when they are not here and get them out each time they arrive…
Why? shrugs:
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Gnomes in a closet? Out them!
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Gnomes in a closet? Out them!
I wondered if they might all be set up inside - sitting on the sofas and stuff? rubschin:
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There are still a few in Zurich but none around here since the unpleasantness and the Wicker Man.
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Its something to do with global warming I think
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Its something to do with global warming I think
Has it made them all gnomeless? whistle:
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They've got no gnome to call their own... whistle:
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They've retired to an old folks gnome... whistle:
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They've retired to an old folks gnome... whistle:
:lalalala
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I was walking
Down the high street
When I heard footsteps behind me
And there was a little old man (hello!)
Scarlet and Gray, chuckling away
Well he trotted
Back to my house
And he sat beside the telly (ahh)
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chuckling away, laughing all day
i'll have to report you to the gnome office
(gnome office? ahahahah!)
Hah hah hah
Hee hee hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
Hah hah hah
Hee hee hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
Said the laughing gnome
Well I gave him roasted toadstools
And a glass of dandelion wine (*burp* pardon)
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne
Carried his bags, and gave him a fag (have you got a light boy?)
hey where do you come from?
(gnome-ans land, hehe!)
oh really?
In the morning
When i woke up
He was sitting on the edge of my bed
With his brother who's name was Fred
He brought him along
To sing me a song
alright let's hear it
now, what's that clicking noise?
(that's Fred, he's a metro-gnome, haha)
Hah hah hah
Hee hee hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
Hah hah hah
Hee hee hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
(oh now, i'm a gnome anyway haha)
haven't you got a home to go to?
(no, we are gnome-ads hehe)
didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school you look like a rolling gnome
(nah, not at the London school of eco-gnome-ics)
Now they're staying
Up me chimney
And we're living on cavier and honey (hurray!)
Cos they're earning me lots of money
Writing comedy prose
For radio shows
it's the errrr
it's the gnome-service of course!
Hah hah hah
Hee hee hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
Hah hah hah
Hee hee hee (oh really)
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
(one more time!)
Hah hah hah
Hee hee hee
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me
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That was Bowie imitating Anthony Newley for reasons I cannot fathom
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That was Bowie imitating Anthony Newley for reasons I cannot fathom
He's still trying to live it down I would imagine.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_YhN_mwPUY&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_YhN_mwPUY&feature=related)
Ear worm warning
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We have two gnomes. One is called Fred and the other is Billy Gnome Mates.
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We have two gnomes. One is called Fred and the other is Billy Gnome Mates.
doh:
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It's not easy finding suitable gnomes! Most of them are Disney characters or look cheerful. We like miserable gnomes.
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It's not easy finding suitable gnomes! Most of them are Disney characters or look cheerful. We like miserable gnomes.
Just one question...
Why? shrugs:
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What do you mean why?
Why gnomes in general?
Why miserable gnomes?
Why name the gnomes?
Why do I like gnomes?
Why do I only like miserable gnomes?
Why don't they make more miserable gnomes?
Why are the majority of gnomes actually dwarves?
Why are Disney characters considered appropriate garden ornaments?
Why do solar powered garden light gnomes not actually work?
Why do my gnomes move?
Why does Billy Gnome Mates not get snail covered but Fred does?
Why does Fred fall over and Billy doesn't?
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What do you mean why?
Why gnomes in general?Why miserable gnomes?
Why name the gnomes?
Why do I like gnomes?
Why do I only like miserable gnomes?
Why don't they make more miserable gnomes?
Why are the majority of gnomes actually dwarves?
Why are Disney characters considered appropriate garden ornaments?
Why do solar powered garden light gnomes not actually work?
Why do my gnomes move?
Why does Billy Gnome Mates not get snail covered but Fred does?
Why does Fred fall over and Billy doesn't?
::)
Surely the only point would be to whack their silly little heads off with a golf club?
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If they aren't miserable gnomes then yes.
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If they aren't miserable gnomes then yes.
They soon would be.
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If they aren't miserable gnomes then yes.
They'd all look miserable if you whacked their silly little heads off with a golf club! whistle:
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Imagine coming home to this lot with a seven iron... whistle:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi96.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fl194%2Fmarkfrank19%2Fgnome.jpg&hash=03632278f4f7c42e42fa3915286154ebe9179984)
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Until now I've considered golf to be a fairly pointless game but....................... rubschin:
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Until now I've considered golf to be a fairly pointless game but....................... rubschin:
Indeed... (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fhappy091.gif&hash=cddb755c55c2395cb332332962ab2c57f9c912ad) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
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eeek:
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What is a solar-powered gnome supposed to do?
It isn't as if regular gnomes need batteries for anything.
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What is a solar-powered gnome supposed to do?
It isn't as if regular gnomes need batteries for anything.
They hold little mushroom lights.
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What is a solar-powered gnome supposed to do?
It isn't as if regular gnomes need batteries for anything.
They hold little mushroom lights.
doh:
Obvious when you think of it.
However, can you get gnomes with a large carbon-footprint, that use primary batteries to power their mushrooms?
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Possibly. I don't know. Seeing as all the gnomes with mushroom lights are happy gnomes I haven't ever really investigated properly.
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Possibly. I don't know. Seeing as all the gnomes with mushroom lights are happy gnomes I haven't ever really investigated properly.
Presumably one with a flat battery might be a bit tetchy?
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Possibly. However, the ones in the shop must all be fully charged as they always look cheerful.
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Possibly. However, the ones in the shop must all be fully charged as they always look cheerful.
rubschin:
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Possibly. However, the ones in the shop must all be fully charged as they always look cheerful.
Like puppies in a pet shop ~ they are all cute and cuddly with happy little faces and wagging tails ~ first thing they do when you get them hone is piss on the carpet and sh*t in the kitchen.
Kittens are even worse ~ they creep behind the fridge and sh*t ~ it stinks for days before you find it. evil:
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Just look behind the fridge!
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Possibly. However, the ones in the shop must all be fully charged as they always look cheerful.
Like puppies in a pet shop ~ they are all cute and cuddly with happy little faces and wagging tails ~ first thing they do when you get them hone is piss on the carpet and sh*t in the kitchen.
Kittens are even worse ~ they creep behind the fridge and sh*t ~ it stinks for days before you find it. evil:
eeek:
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Just look behind the fridge!
You ever tried moving one of these on your own to locate kitten shit?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ogormans.co.uk%2Fimages%2F20RI_D3_A%2BSF_70252.jpg&hash=714e8ca87a070f805d6e6b68240fcc923ae2a65f)
And you know we have one 'cos you've seen it.
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Ohhhhhh! I want one of those!
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Ask Santa.
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Ask Santa.
Santa said no to kitchen electricals and a new camera. sad24:
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Ohhhhhh! I want one of those!
Well the offer was made .... eyes:
You are the one who said noooo:
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Ohhhhhh! I want one of those!
Now, now Wench, size isn't everthing.
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Ohhhhhh! I want one of those!
Well the offer was made .... eyes:
You are the one who said noooo:
I don't remember being offered a fridge? eeek:
Unless it came with strings attached? rubschin:
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You wanted to be adopted (I suspect to access Mrs Snoopy's tat mountain)
I agreed but there was a condition eyes:
You said NOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooo!
I remember it well ~ I was hurt sad32:
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I remember now. May have to reconsider. The fridge could swing it!
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I remember now. May have to reconsider. The fridge could swing it!
lol: whistle:
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And then I remembered you don't allow over priced coffee in the car. Sooo, sadly I shall not be moving in. noooo:
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WHat has any of this got to do with gnomes? Eh?
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WHat has any of this got to do with gnomes? Eh?
Nothing but you said:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=390;type=avatar)
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WHat has any of this got to do with gnomes? Eh?
Nothing but you said:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=390;type=avatar)
And so stupidity ruled the day.
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'cactly lol:
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S'all his fault. point:
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Ohhhhhh! I want one of those!
We have one... cloud9:
And a digital SLR
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Ohhhhhh! I want one of those!
We have one... cloud9:
And a digital SLR
sad24: S'not fair. There should be even distribution. sad24:
But you have to live with LL who is a neat freak! I soooo couldn't cope with that. scared2:
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Ohhhhhh! I want one of those!
We have one... cloud9:
And a digital SLR
sad24: S'not fair. There should be even distribution. sad24:
But you have to live with LL who is a neat freak! I soooo couldn't cope with that. scared2:
But you have to live with a Welshman and you don't have a fridge or camera! point:
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sad24: S'not fair. There should be even distribution. sad24:
I have lost track.
Were you coveting the fridge, camera, kitten or beagle?
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sad24: S'not fair. There should be even distribution. sad24:
I have lost track.
Were you coveting the fridge, camera, kitten or beagle?
Me prolly... whistle:
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Ohhhhhh! I want one of those!
We have one... cloud9:
And a digital SLR
sad24: S'not fair. There should be even distribution. sad24:
But you have to live with LL who is a neat freak! I soooo couldn't cope with that. scared2:
But you have to live with a Welshman and you don't have a fridge or camera! point:
I have a fridge and a camera, just not THE fridge, or THE camera.
However, yes, he is Welsh. But, I can leave my dirty pants on the floor if I want. And eat biscuits in bed.
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http://www.cyprus-forum.com/viewtopic.php?t=14540
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Ohhhhhh! I want one of those!
We have one... cloud9:
And a digital SLR
sad24: S'not fair. There should be even distribution. sad24:
But you have to live with LL who is a neat freak! I soooo couldn't cope with that. scared2:
But you have to live with a Welshman and you don't have a fridge or camera! point:
I have a fridge and a camera, just not THE fridge, or THE camera.
However, yes, he is Welsh. But, I can leave my dirty pants on the floor if I want. And eat biscuits in bed.
sick2:
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1) No not you, I like my men with hair on their heads. ;)
2) How much would it cost to ship an American style fridge to Cheam?
3) Why is eating biscuits in bed sick2:?
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Ohhhhhh! I want one of those!
We have one... cloud9:
And a digital SLR
sad24: S'not fair. There should be even distribution. sad24:
But you have to live with LL who is a neat freak! I soooo couldn't cope with that. scared2:
Sorry but the distribution does seem pretty even to me ~ I have the fridge, the digital SLR and the FISH EYE LENS lol: lol: lol: lol: eveilgrin:
The Kitten belonged to a neighbour evil:
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1) No not you, I like my men with hair on their heads. ;)
2) How much would it cost to ship an American style fridge to Cheam?
3) Why is eating biscuits in bed sick2:?
It's only a guess but I suspect the sick2: was brought on by the image of DIRTY PANTS on the floor.
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Ohhhhhh! I want one of those!
We have one... cloud9:
And a digital SLR
sad24: S'not fair. There should be even distribution. sad24:
But you have to live with LL who is a neat freak! I soooo couldn't cope with that. scared2:
Sorry but the distribution does seem pretty even to me ~ I have the fridge, the digital SLR and the FISH EYE LENS lol: lol: lol: lol: eveilgrin:
The Kitten belonged to a neighbour evil:
It's all so terribly wrong. noooo:
Hmmmm, am checking out that cprus forum. I feel cheated on. sad24:
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1) No not you, I like my men with hair on their heads. ;)
2) How much would it cost to ship an American style fridge to Cheam?
3) Why is eating biscuits in bed sick2:?
It's only a guess but I suspect the sick2: was brought on by the image of DIRTY PANTS on the floor.
redface:
Do you always put your dirty pants in the washing basket?
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1) No not you, I like my men with hair on their heads. ;)
2) How much would it cost to ship an American style fridge to Cheam?
3) Why is eating biscuits in bed sick2:?
It's only a guess but I suspect the sick2: was brought on by the image of DIRTY PANTS on the floor.
redface:
Do you always put your dirty pants in the washing basket?
Yes! point:
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1) No not you, I like my men with hair on their heads. ;)
2) How much would it cost to ship an American style fridge to Cheam?
3) Why is eating biscuits in bed sick2:?
It's only a guess but I suspect the sick2: was brought on by the image of DIRTY PANTS on the floor.
redface:
Do you always put your dirty pants in the washing basket?
Oh yes ~ but then I have children who don't and I shout at them about it so I HAVE to set a good example.
Oh and can we clarify "Dirty" ............ are we talking soiled or merely worn once?
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Never soiled and only ever worn once!
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Never soiled and only ever worn once!
Once that day, or once ever?
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Never soiled and only ever worn once!
Once that day, or once ever?
Once by Mr. Wench... whistle:
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Banghead
Once a day, by me. Never anyone else. ::)
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Banghead
Once a day, by me. Never anyone else. ::)
Of course...
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That you are aware of..............
Did he get all that vomit off by the way?
House reeks of disinfectant here. noooo:
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Took it straight down the cleaners. eeek:
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Sorry but the distribution does seem pretty even to me ~ I have the fridge, the digital SLR and the FISH EYE LENS lol: lol: lol: lol: eveilgrin:
Wot... like this one ? (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.joe-ks.com%2Farchives_nov2007%2FFishEyeLens.jpg&hash=e65806288b58a7254355133d8a6d66c1b041a013)
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::)
I thought I’d cleverly side-stepped the fisheye lens reference… Banghead
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noooo:
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::)
I thought I’d cleverly side-stepped the fisheye lens reference… Banghead
point:
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::)
I thought I’d cleverly side-stepped the fisheye lens reference… Banghead
point:
sad24: