The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on November 24, 2007, 12:26:29 PM
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Santa came a visiting at the local Garden Centre. Real reindeer. Big antlers.
They put the reindeer in an enclosure for closer inspection. Reindeer got a bit stir crazy.
After the incident we thought it best to get to A&E. Not stitches, but possibly a tetanus shot.
"HOw did this happen?", she said.
"He was attacked by a reindeer," we said.
The pause seemed to go on forever. Then she wrote it down. "Reindeer attack".
He has had the injection and we have been told to watch for "any unusual symptoms".
Such things happen.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVkywL9.jpg&hash=2171bd4412ef79d37a6417b0d5ec65e998e7c7ed) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVkywL9)
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Santa came a visiting at the local Garden Centre. Real reindeer. Big antlers.
They put the reindeer in an enclosure for closer inspection. Reindeer got a bit stir crazy.
After the incident we thought it best to get to A&E. Not stitches, but possibly a tetanus shot.
"HOw did this happen?", she said.
"He was attacked by a reindeer," we said.
The pause seemed to go on forever. Then she wrote it down. "Reindeer attack".
He has had the injection and we have been told to watch for "any unusual symptoms".
Such things happen.
How close did you inspect exactly? rubschin:
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They were long antlers -they protruded from the enclosure.
OK?
Christmas Grotto Launch with Mersey Kidney Research, St John's Hospice & Hospice of the Good Shepherd - Saturday 24th November
Santa will be arriving on Saturday 24th November with six of his reindeer. Make sure you don't miss this magical event as Santa's Reindeer are here for one day only!
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They were long antlers -they protruded from the enclosure.
OK?
Christmas Grotto Launch with Mersey Kidney Research, St John's Hospice & Hospice of the Good Shepherd - Saturday 24th November
Santa will be arriving on Saturday 24th November with six of his reindeer. Make sure you don't miss this magical event as Santa's Reindeer are here for one day only!
Off to slaughter tomorrow? rubschin:
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Off to wreak more havoc elsewhere I guess.
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Very quiet in here today…
tunble:
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And you let The Boy get too close with utterly predictable results ?
One word to the social and you will never see him again !
Would have thought his tetanus shots were always up to date, along with your rabies vacinations.
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Several others were also sort of "run at" too. It all got a bit frisky evil:
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Several others were also sort of "run at" too. It all got a bit frisky evil:
Your after-shave prolly... whistle:
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Several others were also sort of "run at" too. It all got a bit frisky evil:
Your after-shave prolly... whistle:
White beard and red face more likely.
Reindeer have decades of oppression to revenge.
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Santa came a visiting at the local Garden Centre. Real reindeer. Big antlers.
They put the reindeer in an enclosure for closer inspection. Reindeer got a bit stir crazy.
After the incident we thought it best to get to A&E. Not stitches, but possibly a tetanus shot.
"HOw did this happen?", she said.
"He was attacked by a reindeer," we said.
The pause seemed to go on forever. Then she wrote it down. "Reindeer attack".
He has had the injection and we have been told to watch for "any unusual symptoms".
"unusual symptoms"? Did they give any examples, horns, cloven feet?
Such things happen.
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Santa came a visiting at the local Garden Centre. Real reindeer. Big antlers.
They put the reindeer in an enclosure for closer inspection. Reindeer got a bit stir crazy.
After the incident we thought it best to get to A&E. Not stitches, but possibly a tetanus shot.
"HOw did this happen?", she said.
"He was attacked by a reindeer," we said.
The pause seemed to go on forever. Then she wrote it down. "Reindeer attack".
He has had the injection and we have been told to watch for "any unusual symptoms".
Such things happen.
Only in Nick World ::)
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Good morning Sir Nick.
How's The Boy this morning ~ any signs of antler growth, shiny red nose, inclination to eat carrots?
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No. Off school with The Vomit evil:
Up half the night cry:
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rubschin: That'll be the tetanus shot I 'spect.
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No. Off school with The Vomit evil:
So that's the carrot part sorted, just antlers and nose to go.
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noooo:
If only you'd discussed it with us. This could be seen coming a mile off!
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Really? How?
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Nick " Hello all ~ today I plan to take The Boy and Mrs Nick to see Santa and there will be live reindeer"
Us (In Concert) "NOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
Is how.
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At least he never got to sit on Santa's knee!
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At least he never got to sit on Santa's knee!
Why do I have a mental vision of Mrs Nick elbowing t'lad to one side and jumping on the old boy's lap?
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True.
Just had text from Mr Wench to say he is going home to change as small child has vomited on him. You sure you don't live in Cheam? rubschin:
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I believe The Vomit is a bit of an epidemic at present. noooo:
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I believe The Vomit is a bit of an epidemic at present. noooo:
Think I may have it. Is it accompanied by woozyness?
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No, it is accompanied by vomiting
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I believe The Vomit is a bit of an epidemic at present. noooo:
Think I may have it. Is it accompanied by woozyness?
No dear ~ that's a hangover.
At our primary if yer kid is sick they 'phone to get you to collect it and insist that it stays at home until it has been vomit free for 48 hours. Of course the little sods can be relied on to tell the truth as soon as they get through the classroom door so you have no option but to comply.
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Most teachers seem to have a built in vomit detector. redface: My friend refused to let me in her car a few weeks ago because she said I was going to be sick. Thought it was a load of crap, got in a mood with her, 45 minutes later, vomit city. sick2:
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So how come Mr Wench fell victim to a Vomit?
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So how come Mr Wench fell victim to a Vomit?
Child walked over to his desk and was about to say he was going to be sick and instead vomited in Mr Wench's lap.
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happy001 happy001 happy001
Kid probably didn't like his tie!
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drumroll:
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happy001 happy001 happy001
Kid probably didn't like his tie!
Probably not. Today he is wearing one that was purchased in his pre-Wench period! point:
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happy001 happy001 happy001
Kid probably didn't like his tie!
Probably not. Today he is wearing one that was purchased in his pre-Wench period! point:
And you let him keep it?
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happy001 happy001 happy001
Kid probably didn't like his tie!
Probably not. Today he is wearing one that was purchased in his pre-Wench period! point:
And you let him keep it?
shrugs:
There is a limit to how much you can throw away at one go. It goes in drips and drabs. There was more serious criminal clothing that needed to be removed before I moved onto ties. And now well, it has vomit on it and my job has been done for me. cloud9:
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Santa came a visiting at the local Garden Centre. Real reindeer. Big antlers.
They put the reindeer in an enclosure for closer inspection. Reindeer got a bit stir crazy.
After the incident we thought it best to get to A&E. Not stitches, but possibly a tetanus shot.
"HOw did this happen?", she said.
"He was attacked by a reindeer," we said.
The pause seemed to go on forever. Then she wrote it down. "Reindeer attack".
He has had the injection and we have been told to watch for "any unusual symptoms".
Such things happen.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVkywL9.jpg&hash=2171bd4412ef79d37a6417b0d5ec65e998e7c7ed) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVkywL9)
Out of interest, how close were you to the reindeer at the time. Its just members of the animal kingdom tend to have a more highly developed sense of danger so proximity to Captain Calamity could have scared te bejeezus out of it.
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I took the pic. He was on the rails. The antlers kind of collided with him - at speed! spider:
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Was it running towards or away from you?
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Smoked reindeer is quite tasty. whistle:
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Away evil:
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I rest my case M'lud whistle:
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Smoked reindeer is quite tasty. whistle:
I didn't know Rizlas were sold that big eeek:
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Smoked reindeer is quite tasty. whistle:
I didn't know Rizlas were sold that big eeek:
Stupid boy!
In a pipe. ::)
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doh:
Of course.
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Smoked reindeer is quite tasty. whistle:
I didn't know Rizlas were sold that big eeek:
Stupid boy!
In a pipe. ::)
A bong might be better don't you think?
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.artdrum.com%2FIMAGES%2FPHOTOSDRUMSINSTRUMENTS%2FACCESSORIES%2Fgong_stand_28_inch_with_chau_gongs.jpg&hash=1b8306213ed81c6e774a6e8acc5755a4783a2e92)
rubschin:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.artdrum.com%2FIMAGES%2FPHOTOSDRUMSINSTRUMENTS%2FACCESSORIES%2Fgong_stand_28_inch_with_chau_gongs.jpg&hash=1b8306213ed81c6e774a6e8acc5755a4783a2e92)
rubschin:
Rank stupidity. ::)
Carry-on quoting
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redface:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.artdrum.com%2FIMAGES%2FPHOTOSDRUMSINSTRUMENTS%2FACCESSORIES%2Fgong_stand_28_inch_with_chau_gongs.jpg&hash=1b8306213ed81c6e774a6e8acc5755a4783a2e92)
rubschin:
BM - I think it's you who should have had the laser treatment!
That is not a BONG, it's a GONG!
This is a BONG:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.rhinogifts.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fsmall-black-leaf-glass-bong.jpg&hash=9a255e27e8afbb010f27124b62641bf05b5b5a79)
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.artdrum.com%2FIMAGES%2FPHOTOSDRUMSINSTRUMENTS%2FACCESSORIES%2Fgong_stand_28_inch_with_chau_gongs.jpg&hash=1b8306213ed81c6e774a6e8acc5755a4783a2e92)
rubschin:
BM - I think it's you who should have had the laser treatment!
That is not a BONG, it's a GONG!
This is a BONG:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.rhinogifts.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fsmall-black-leaf-glass-bong.jpg&hash=9a255e27e8afbb010f27124b62641bf05b5b5a79)
Dear Ghoul,
Why do you suppose the jokes are being included about The Rank Organisation who, you may recall, used to announce their films with a sequence showing a man hitting a gong which made a BONG sound.
Jeeze ~ the jokes lose a lot when they have to be explained ::)l
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Que?
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Que?
Don't you start ~ these pills take an hour to kick in. evil: