If you take time to read the Smug Club reguwlayshions you will note the following:
Rule 1., Section 1, Subsexion 2:
All laydees present, whether guests of the club or just serving wenches are not allowed to wear too many clothes unless they have been hit with the ugly stick a number of times, in which case full muslim attire must be adorned at all times.
Will your washing machine be required?