TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread

[apc2010]

A message floods in...

Erm...had a bit of an accident Christmas day. Met my mate Iain for a few bevvies which turned into 10 pints of Guinness and 3 large Port&Brandies. Trolleyed.

Managed to stagger home (just) but came a cropper on the stairs resulting in 3 fractured ribs. Ouch for weeks.

Then man-flu hit and as I couldn't cough properly (too painful) it turned into pneumonia

Poof …!…

[The Moan Ranger]

Mea culpa.

I would like to point out that I am 11 1/2 stone and Iain is 17 stone and goes to the gym most mornings.

The pub was only open for 2 hours on Christmas day and the first 6 Guinness went down just fine. He then bought a round whilst I was in the pisser - with the large Port&Brandy. Obviously I had to return the round and as we were close to finishing that, I went for another piss to avoid an urgent need on the 2 mile walk back home.

Came out from the pisser and he'd sneaked another round in, as he's a  regular there.

We walked (in my case staggered) back to town, where he carried on to his place and I went to mine, up my long hill. Halfway up the hill, the urge for another piss became all-consuming.  Once the seal was broken etc...

Stupidly tried to run up 2 flights of stairs, left foot missed a step and slammed into them. Didn't really feel a thing at the time, but had a long piss, a 4 hour snooze and only woke due to hurty ribs. And bloodied fingers as I'd obviously scraped them somehow.

So it's Iain's fault 😕

[Barman]

Mea culpa.

I would like to point out that I am 11 1/2 stone and Iain is 17 stone and goes to the gym most mornings.

The pub was only open for 2 hours on Christmas day and the first 6 Guinness went down just fine. He then bought a round whilst I was in the pisser - with the large Port&Brandy. Obviously I had to return the round and as we were close to finishing that, I went for another piss to avoid an urgent need on the 2 mile walk back home.

Came out from the pisser and he'd sneaked another round in, as he's a  regular there.

We walked (in my case staggered) back to town, where he carried on to his place and I went to mine, up my long hill. Halfway up the hill, the urge for another piss became all-consuming.  Once the seal was broken etc...

Stupidly tried to run up 2 flights of stairs, left foot missed a step and slammed into them. Didn't really feel a thing at the time, but had a long piss, a 4 hour snooze and only woke due to hurty ribs. And bloodied fingers as I'd obviously scraped them somehow.

So it's Iain's fault 😕

Gayer... 

[Nick]

Mea culpa.

I would like to point out that I am 11 1/2 stone and Iain is 17 stone and goes to the gym most mornings.

The pub was only open for 2 hours on Christmas day and the first 6 Guinness went down just fine. He then bought a round whilst I was in the pisser - with the large Port&Brandy. Obviously I had to return the round and as we were close to finishing that, I went for another piss to avoid an urgent need on the 2 mile walk back home.

Came out from the pisser and he'd sneaked another round in, as he's a  regular there.

We walked (in my case staggered) back to town, where he carried on to his place and I went to mine, up my long hill. Halfway up the hill, the urge for another piss became all-consuming.  Once the seal was broken etc...

Stupidly tried to run up 2 flights of stairs, left foot missed a step and slammed into them. Didn't really feel a thing at the time, but had a long piss, a 4 hour snooze and only woke due to hurty ribs. And bloodied fingers as I'd obviously scraped them somehow.

So it's Iain's fault 😕

 

[apc2010]

Mea culpa.

I would like to point out that I am 11 1/2 stone and Iain is 17 stone and goes to the gym most mornings.

The pub was only open for 2 hours on Christmas day and the first 6 Guinness went down just fine. He then bought a round whilst I was in the pisser - with the large Port&Brandy. Obviously I had to return the round and as we were close to finishing that, I went for another piss to avoid an urgent need on the 2 mile walk back home.

Came out from the pisser and he'd sneaked another round in, as he's a  regular there.

We walked (in my case staggered) back to town, where he carried on to his place and I went to mine, up my long hill. Halfway up the hill, the urge for another piss became all-consuming.  Once the seal was broken etc...

Stupidly tried to run up 2 flights of stairs, left foot missed a step and slammed into them. Didn't really feel a thing at the time, but had a long piss, a 4 hour snooze and only woke due to hurty ribs. And bloodied fingers as I'd obviously scraped them somehow.

So it's Iain's fault 😕

Gayer... 

See above …

[Steve]

Mea culpa.

I would like to point out that I am 11 1/2 stone and Iain is 17 stone and goes to the gym most mornings.

The pub was only open for 2 hours on Christmas day and the first 6 Guinness went down just fine. He then bought a round whilst I was in the pisser - with the large Port&Brandy. Obviously I had to return the round and as we were close to finishing that, I went for another piss to avoid an urgent need on the 2 mile walk back home.

Came out from the pisser and he'd sneaked another round in, as he's a  regular there.

We walked (in my case staggered) back to town, where he carried on to his place and I went to mine, up my long hill. Halfway up the hill, the urge for another piss became all-consuming.  Once the seal was broken etc...

Stupidly tried to run up 2 flights of stairs, left foot missed a step and slammed into them. Didn't really feel a thing at the time, but had a long piss, a 4 hour snooze and only woke due to hurty ribs. And bloodied fingers as I'd obviously scraped them somehow.

So it's Iain's fault 😕

Is Iain up for taking the blame for anyone else's cock ups?  There may be a limitless supply here.