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Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on March 14, 2011, 08:14:41 AM

Title: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 14, 2011, 08:14:41 AM
 Popcorn:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 14, 2011, 02:10:13 PM
At the moment it's all boring H+S training :-(
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 14, 2011, 02:13:04 PM
At the moment it's all boring H+S training :-(

You could make some stuff up for us like... Popcorn:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 14, 2011, 02:14:37 PM
 ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 14, 2011, 02:40:19 PM
Popcorn:

Shouldn't this be 'Tales from the Undercarriageworld'?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 14, 2011, 03:41:03 PM
Popcorn:

Shouldn't this be 'Tales from the Undercarriageworld'?

No...  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 14, 2011, 04:44:11 PM
This afternoon was all about handling Dangerous Goods - explosives/radioactive/toxic etc.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 14, 2011, 04:47:58 PM
This afternoon was all about handling Dangerous Goods - explosives/radioactive/toxic etc.

Japanese flights................... rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 14, 2011, 04:49:28 PM
This afternoon was all about handling Dangerous Goods - explosives/radioactive/toxic etc.

Handbags...  scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 14, 2011, 05:16:46 PM
This afternoon was all about handling Dangerous Goods - explosives/radioactive/toxic etc.

Handbags...  scared2:
point:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 14, 2011, 07:56:02 PM
Fanny packs. scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 15, 2011, 07:40:42 AM
Day 2. They told me to be here for 8.30. Due to the efficiency of buses and trains, I'm an hour early. Hmmmm...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 15, 2011, 03:06:15 PM
Day 2. They told me to be here for 8.30. Due to the efficiency of buses and trains, I'm an hour early. Hmmmm...

Don't let the union know you do things like that. noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 15, 2011, 06:09:27 PM
0900 tomorrow, so I confidently predict I will be there by 0800. You must all know what it's like with a new job - you wake up panicking that you've overslept and then can't get back to sleep again. Tomorrow we get to watch a nice film of a baggage handler getting minced by a jet engine...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 15, 2011, 06:17:52 PM
A role model  eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pastis on March 15, 2011, 06:25:07 PM
I thought only the male cabin crew minced  redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 15, 2011, 06:27:18 PM
I thought only the male cabin crew minced  redface:


 lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 15, 2011, 06:28:52 PM
I thought only the male cabin crew minced  redface:
drumroll:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 15, 2011, 06:49:09 PM
0900 tomorrow, so I confidently predict I will be there by 0800. You must all know what it's like with a new job - you wake up panicking that you've overslept and then can't get back to sleep again. Tomorrow we get to watch a nice film of a baggage handler getting minced by a jet engine...

You've tempted fate now - you'll get there around midday....  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on March 15, 2011, 08:39:16 PM
You've tempted fate now - you'll get there around midday...run across the tarmac behind a taxi-ing jumbo...

and get minced...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 15, 2011, 08:39:46 PM
You've tempted fate now - you'll get there around midday...run across the tarmac behind a taxi-ing jumbo...

and get minced...

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 15, 2011, 08:42:16 PM
Pastis could get down there and make some more Bolognese sauce for Wenchy's wedding, like
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 15, 2011, 10:47:21 PM
You've tempted fate now - you'll get there around midday...run across the tarmac behind a taxi-ing jumbo...

and get minced...

Behind a jumbo? Don't they suck from the front?

Surely TMR would have to walk in front if he is to be sucked off his feet then minced.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on March 15, 2011, 11:02:48 PM
No...DS...he was sucked off into the engine of the plane behind the jumbo...a Virgin plane prolly...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 19, 2011, 08:40:02 PM
Seems we've upset mad Gadaffi. That's helpful at a major airport...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on March 20, 2011, 05:34:09 PM
Seems we've upset mad Gadaffi. That's helpful at a major airport...


Overtime?  Sinister:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 20, 2011, 07:17:31 PM
Seems we've upset mad Gadaffi. That's helpful at a major airport...


Overtime?  Sinister:

Aye! Lend us a quid like TMR!   happy088
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 22, 2011, 03:59:58 PM
Well that's the first plane loaded. Here's hoping that those who arrive in Geneva do so with their bags!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 22, 2011, 04:02:52 PM
Won't the bags be sitting beside them?  It's the luggage you should worry about, on second thoughts.....
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 22, 2011, 04:05:56 PM
Well that's the first plane loaded. Here's hoping that those who arrive in Geneva do so with their bags!


Did you have to wear big boots and ear defenders like...?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 22, 2011, 04:06:50 PM
Well that's the first plane loaded. Here's hoping that those who arrive in Geneva do so with their bags!


If you fancy a holiday can you load yerself on like??
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 22, 2011, 04:41:03 PM
No Nick, you can't. And yes BM, 300 Joule boots (not steel toe-capped - risk of sparks) and nice lime green ear defenders. Very fetching!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 22, 2011, 04:42:28 PM
Perhaps you can find a fetish website  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 22, 2011, 04:46:21 PM
No Nick, you can't. And yes BM, 300 Joule boots (not steel toe-capped - risk of sparks) and nice lime green ear defenders. Very fetching!

Wot if your eyes aren't lime green ............... rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 22, 2011, 04:47:47 PM
No Nick, you can't. And yes BM, 300 Joule boots (not steel toe-capped - risk of sparks) and nice lime green ear defenders. Very fetching!

But you are allowed to smoke on the apron like...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 22, 2011, 05:01:07 PM
I didn't have a fag from 0745 until 1500. I'm gonna save a fortune! Tomorrow we learn our dance moves...yes, really...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 22, 2011, 05:02:57 PM
I didn't have a fag from 0745 until 1500. I'm gonna save a fortune! Tomorrow we learn our dance moves...yes, really...


 Popcorn:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 22, 2011, 05:03:47 PM
 Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on March 22, 2011, 05:05:30 PM
Is it Candid Camera?

or Dancing on Airside?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on March 22, 2011, 05:05:46 PM
.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jchxKeiDFTc
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 22, 2011, 05:08:30 PM
I didn't have a fag from 0745 until 1500. I'm gonna save a fortune! Tomorrow we learn our dance moves...yes, really...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqnKgJ6tDOg

 point:


Tis the fumes from the Jet-A1 like...  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on March 22, 2011, 05:10:37 PM
.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvDDDKnNhuE
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: beerhead on March 23, 2011, 11:03:35 AM
Sorta like this, TMR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCIJkT-MgaA&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCIJkT-MgaA&feature=related)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 23, 2011, 04:32:05 PM
Training finishes tomorrow and I start on Saturday (2 days overtime). My normal roster then starts on Wednesday.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 23, 2011, 04:33:46 PM
Training finishes tomorrow and I start on Saturday (2 days overtime). My normal roster then starts on Wednesday.

Is there an exam like...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 23, 2011, 04:36:39 PM
Yup

Is this a suitcase? Yes/No
WHere is it going? Don't know

You start Monday
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 23, 2011, 04:37:05 PM
Yup

Is this a suitcase? Yes/No
WHere is it going? Don't know

You start Monday

happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 23, 2011, 05:11:52 PM
Imbeciles. I've taken about 7 exams (tests really...) ranging from Manual Handling to Dangerous Goods. Not exactly hard...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 23, 2011, 05:15:27 PM
 happy100

NOte to self: fly from Luton
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 23, 2011, 05:23:50 PM
Nick - without wishing to cast a cloud over you, but with your track record, no-one would be pleased more than me if you don't bring your calamities to my airport. Thanks :-)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 23, 2011, 05:25:45 PM
"my airport"

He has been assimilated  noooo:

Can you get cheap fags?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 23, 2011, 05:39:27 PM
Your sexual preferences are your business alone - cheap or expensive, find your own bum-bandits ;-)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 23, 2011, 05:49:23 PM
Nick - without wishing to cast a cloud over you, but with your track record, no-one would be pleased more than me if you don't bring your calamities to my airport. Thanks :-)

I read that as this catamites. eeek:  Must be something in the water at the moment, radiation prolly.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 23, 2011, 05:52:21 PM
I fear he is bonding with his fellow werkers
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on March 23, 2011, 05:57:29 PM
I fear he is bonding with his fellow werkers

I should hope so ~ Job for life, "You can't touch me I'm part of the Union", Built in "perks", Strikes when you want a holiday, holidays when you know the airport staff won't be on strike....... Seems to me the boy has landed on his feet.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 23, 2011, 07:34:54 PM
I won't join a union and I would not go on strike - hasn't all that shit been consigned to history? The 70's tell us as much.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 23, 2011, 09:34:44 PM
I won't join a union and I would not go on strike -

But there is a bank holiday soon. .
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 24, 2011, 06:44:28 AM
I won't join a union and I would not go on strike - hasn't all that shit been consigned to history? The 70's tell us as much.
eeek:

He has been brainwashed like....  scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 24, 2011, 04:56:22 PM
My uniform has arrived. I asked for "medium". Why then, have I been sent trousers with a 36 inch waist? Numpties.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 24, 2011, 04:58:04 PM
My uniform has arrived. I asked for "medium". Why then, have I been sent trousers with a 36 inch waist? Numpties.

You have thought a medium would know your size ....... rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 24, 2011, 04:58:30 PM
They prolly belonged to a passenger  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 24, 2011, 05:52:55 PM
They might fit you Nick - be tight though.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 24, 2011, 06:08:57 PM
My uniform has arrived. I asked for "medium". Why then, have I been sent trousers with a 36 inch waist? Numpties.

You have thought a medium would know your size ....... rubschin:

happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 25, 2011, 11:56:53 AM
My uniform has arrived. I asked for "medium". Why then, have I been sent trousers with a 36 inch waist? Numpties.

Surely that allows for extra baggage  ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: beerhead on March 25, 2011, 02:46:07 PM
It's to give you room to stuff the swag down your kecks !
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 26, 2011, 02:30:52 PM
I appear to have got here an hour and a half early.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 26, 2011, 02:32:37 PM
I appear to have got here an hour and a half early.

Again .. eeek:  can you clock in......... whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 26, 2011, 02:37:07 PM
He is totty spotting near the VIrgin laydees  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 26, 2011, 03:01:38 PM
Correctamundo Nick!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 26, 2011, 03:05:15 PM
Perhaps you could post some pictures for our edification. We need to make an informed judgement. Like.  angel1
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 26, 2011, 04:17:02 PM
The SleazyJet hostesses have lots of smiles for me...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 26, 2011, 04:18:21 PM
The SleazyJet hostesses have lots of smiles for me...

It's the lime green ear defenders...........or the huge trousers ....... rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 26, 2011, 04:22:39 PM
I hear they are orange. ALl over  eyes: eyes:

If you like that sort of thing
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pastis on March 26, 2011, 06:55:56 PM
I hear they are orange. ALl over  eyes: eyes:

If you like that sort of thing

AKA "done on both sides"  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 26, 2011, 06:59:19 PM
I fear we are back in the realm of Tipsy's eldest  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 26, 2011, 07:06:39 PM
I fear we are back in the realm of Tipsy's eldest  noooo:

doh:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 26, 2011, 07:43:01 PM
Well, that's 5 planes unloaded and re-loaded (spun, as they call it) and I've already managed to break my boots.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 26, 2011, 07:45:25 PM
Well, that's 5 planes unloaded and re-loaded (spun, as they call it) and I've already managed to break my boots.

Steal a new pair out of one of the cases like....  ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 26, 2011, 07:46:01 PM
Well, that's 5 planes unloaded and re-loaded (spun, as they call it) and I've already managed to break my boots.

Kicking those cases on ......will take its toll ..... whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 26, 2011, 07:46:44 PM
Bet your gloves are like new ......... whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 26, 2011, 07:47:41 PM
Now you say it, one or two of the bags did get "nudged" with my boot...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 26, 2011, 07:48:29 PM
Now you say it, one or two of the bags did get "nudged" with my boot...

Good man!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 26, 2011, 07:49:56 PM
Well, that's 5 planes unloaded and re-loaded (spun, as they call it) and I've already managed to break my boots.
Euphemism # 4737374

Watch out you Virgins (and oranges)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 26, 2011, 07:57:33 PM
Well the bag did have green and white hoops on it!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on March 26, 2011, 08:26:22 PM
The SleazyJet hostesses have lots of smiles for me...

Are they smiling or trying to look as if they are not laughing?  ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 26, 2011, 08:49:52 PM
Definitely smiling Snoops!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 27, 2011, 05:07:11 AM
The SleazyJet hostesses have lots of smiles for me...

Are they smiling or trying to look as if they are not laughing?  ;)

He was prolly holding himself because he needed a 'wee-wee' Snoops.... I've seen that look....  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 27, 2011, 08:44:28 PM
I've been having fun with skis today :-)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 27, 2011, 08:47:09 PM
I've been having fun with skis today :-)

That's a slippery slope ........
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on March 27, 2011, 11:28:36 PM
I've been having fun with skis today :-)

That's a slippery slope ........

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 27, 2011, 11:53:00 PM
Buffoon.

What happens is this : it is obvious when a group of skiers are returning. We then place all the ski bags bar one - the nicest one - on the carousel followed by all the other luggage. Then we wait. Five minutes or so. Then we put that one on and hold it so that part of it pokes through and the by now distraught skier sees it, at which point he grabs it and tries to pull it through. So we pull it back. For a minute or so, then let it go...

The language the other side is hilarious :-). Tomorrow I will tell you about "his and hers" matching bags :-)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 28, 2011, 05:15:23 AM
You are such a bag tease  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 28, 2011, 09:09:23 AM
Buffoon.

What happens is this : it is obvious when a group of skiers are returning. We then place all the ski bags bar one - the nicest one - on the carousel followed by all the other luggage. Then we wait. Five minutes or so. Then we put that one on and hold it so that part of it pokes through and the by now distraught skier sees it, at which point he grabs it and tries to pull it through. So we pull it back. For a minute or so, then let it go...

The language the other side is hilarious :-). Tomorrow I will tell you about "his and hers" matching bags :-)

 lol: lol: lol:

The inner secrets revealed.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 28, 2011, 01:41:24 PM
Think this pilot landed one with us yesterday...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSDzsSdPwTo

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on March 28, 2011, 01:47:21 PM
OWCH!


Bit of a cross-wind I'd say.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 28, 2011, 03:12:08 PM
Think this pilot landed one with us yesterday...

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSDzsSdPwTo[/url]




Did he save you the job of busting the cases open...?  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 30, 2011, 11:57:32 AM
Something for TMR to look forward to in the summer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aar9KHn1hrY (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aar9KHn1hrY)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 30, 2011, 12:10:31 PM
What sort of aircraft is that?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 30, 2011, 12:13:52 PM
What sort of aircraft is that?  rubschin:

There was a plane in the video.........??? redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 30, 2011, 12:19:23 PM
What sort of aircraft is that?  rubschin:

A clean one  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 30, 2011, 02:13:18 PM
What sort of aircraft is that?  rubschin:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.avsim.com%2Fpages%2F0203%2Fdash8%2Fbeaver6.jpg&hash=f7c1331fa6a54f381924bd31621fec33)

 whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 30, 2011, 02:25:29 PM
Something for TMR to look forward to in the summer

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aar9KHn1hrY[/url] ([url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aar9KHn1hrY[/url])



Scrubbers.  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on March 30, 2011, 06:22:39 PM
And this one...couldn't find it on youtube...banned prolly

http://videosift.com/video/Topless-skydiving-and-washing-machines
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 30, 2011, 06:31:43 PM
I have an Indesit  cloud9:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 30, 2011, 06:41:19 PM
I have an Indesit  cloud9:



TV ............ rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on March 30, 2011, 06:52:41 PM
No wonder he's lost the signal...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 30, 2011, 07:06:56 PM
That's not all he's lost.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 30, 2011, 07:38:40 PM
And this one...couldn't find it on youtube...banned prolly

[url]http://videosift.com/video/Topless-skydiving-and-washing-machines[/url]


AFFS!  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on March 30, 2011, 07:41:22 PM
Yeah...I posted it first time around...thats how I knew about it...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 30, 2011, 07:44:31 PM
Yeah...I posted it first time around...thats how I knew about it...

Good man!  happy088
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on March 30, 2011, 07:49:03 PM
Yeah...I posted it first time around...thats how I knew about it...

Good man!  happy088

I think I shamelessly nicked it from CF...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: beerhead on March 30, 2011, 07:50:19 PM
Darwin, you are a very naughty boy ! Are you going to shave it ? I have had a go in one of those, so please roll out all the cockpit jokes.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on March 30, 2011, 07:54:30 PM
 whacky115
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 30, 2011, 08:13:19 PM
Collapso poisoning alert
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 30, 2011, 08:21:15 PM
Darwin, you are a very naughty boy ! Are you going to shave it ? I have had a go in one of those, so please roll out all the cockpit jokes.

Glad somebody got it.  ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on March 30, 2011, 08:24:38 PM
We all knew it was a Beaver... whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 30, 2011, 08:31:29 PM
We all knew it was a Beaver... whistle:

I hear you haven't been up in one for a while?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on March 30, 2011, 08:45:10 PM
When I was a lad (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-char124.gif&hash=9c3b5f4696cdf73aecf2b6d0bea88cc3) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 30, 2011, 08:48:43 PM
We all knew it was a Beaver... whistle:

I hear you haven't been up in one for a while?


 lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on March 31, 2011, 05:41:41 AM
.(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.todayifoundout.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F02%2Fshaving-the-beaver.jpg&hash=1580b8346ac1a75e79f7bbf3f007488d)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on March 31, 2011, 07:18:19 AM
.([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.todayifoundout.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F02%2Fshaving-the-beaver.jpg&hash=1580b8346ac1a75e79f7bbf3f007488d[/url])


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 31, 2011, 02:40:11 PM
No security pass, so no work. Bored  cry:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 31, 2011, 02:43:55 PM
His and hers bags??
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 31, 2011, 03:08:50 PM
His and hers bags??

Ah, yes. It is quite obvious when "his and hers" bags are on board. So you simply put "hers" (the larger of the two, obviously) on the belt straight away. And then "his" very last. Guaranteed to cause arguments  8)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 31, 2011, 03:28:47 PM
 eveilgrin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 05, 2011, 12:52:37 PM
The ex is flying back from Spain on Friday and now that I have my pass I will be working then...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 05, 2011, 12:54:11 PM
 eveilgrin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 05, 2011, 12:56:02 PM
What are you implying, Nicholas ;-)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on April 05, 2011, 12:57:15 PM
 Popcorn:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 05, 2011, 01:01:38 PM
 eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 06, 2011, 02:54:30 AM
Well, tonight I saw someone from one of the other handling agents lose his job. An A319 for us came in and had to wait a couple of minutes of the taxiway whilst we were waiting for one of our lot to turn up and turn on the laser-guided thingy that tells the pilot when to stop, so that the passenfer jetty can reach the plane. While the plane was on the taxiway, a driver towing a baggage cart sat patiently waiting for the plane to finish parking. Our chap arrived and turned the laser guiding thingy on and the plane then powered up and started to pull in. Inexplicable, this chap from the "other" place then decided it would be a good time to go for it and shot past in front of the plane. Luckily the pilot saw him and stamped on the brakes - the nose of the plane visibly dipped. I'd estimate he missed the baggage cart by no more than 3 feet. If if had collided, I think it would have taken the front landing gear out. And the chap from the "other" handling place did it right in front of the Gatwick runway police. He was stopped a 100 yards down the service road. Masses of 4x4s arrived and he disappeared in the back of one of them. What on earth was he thinking?! Even some of the hardened crew I work with said they had never seen anything so stupid. He will be charged - at the very least - with endagering the lives of those on board. Wuckfit.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 06, 2011, 05:12:01 AM
Well, tonight I saw someone from one of the other handling agents lose his job. An A319 for us came in and had to wait a couple of minutes of the taxiway whilst we were waiting for one of our lot to turn up and turn on the laser-guided thingy that tells the pilot when to stop, so that the passenfer jetty can reach the plane. While the plane was on the taxiway, a driver towing a baggage cart sat patiently waiting for the plane to finish parking. Our chap arrived and turned the laser guiding thingy on and the plane then powered up and started to pull in. Inexplicable, this chap from the "other" place then decided it would be a good time to go for it and shot past in front of the plane. Luckily the pilot saw him and stamped on the brakes - the nose of the plane visibly dipped. I'd estimate he missed the baggage cart by no more than 3 feet. If if had collided, I think it would have taken the front landing gear out. And the chap from the "other" handling place did it right in front of the Gatwick runway police. He was stopped a 100 yards down the service road. Masses of 4x4s arrived and he disappeared in the back of one of them. What on earth was he thinking?! Even some of the hardened crew I work with said they had never seen anything so stupid. He will be charged - at the very least - with endagering the lives of those on board. Wuckfit.

You hadn't bunged him to do away with your ex had you...? He might have been practising like...  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 08, 2011, 02:29:22 AM
It's already starting to get busier - the holiday season is upon us. Lots of "big" planes coming in late at night/early morning from Sharm-el-Sheikh, Hurghada, Alicante etc. Oh, and I nearly ran over a deer on the A23. The deliquent doe just stared at me as nearly two tons of Lexus bore down on her at 70mph...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 15, 2011, 02:33:52 PM
Airport is packed today. Why can't foreigners queue properly?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 15, 2011, 02:35:55 PM
Cos they are defective  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on April 15, 2011, 02:37:42 PM
Airport is packed today. Why can't foreigners queue properly?

Queuing is a uniquely British thing. Foreigners of every hue elbow and jostle.

See pictures and news reels of queues of people waiting patiently to buy food when rationing applied during and after the war and compare that with films of the fighting for food rations wherever charities set up distribution.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 15, 2011, 08:33:25 PM
Will you be there Saturday 4th June TMR .......(afternoon) . I believe I owe you a Young's  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on April 15, 2011, 08:37:41 PM
My ex just landed at Gatwick...MON6947 2125hrs...Wonder if TMR is handling the baggage
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 15, 2011, 08:38:47 PM
I think you are still handling that baggage  ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on April 15, 2011, 08:41:53 PM
Nah...just good friends is all. We started off as good friends...got married, didn't work...good friends again...I've been staying at hers for a week dog sitting...she'll be back later and I go back to mine...simples
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on April 15, 2011, 08:42:03 PM
I think you are still handling that baggage  ;)

 drumroll:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 15, 2011, 08:47:11 PM
Nah...just good friends is all. We started off as good friends...got married, didn't work...good friends again...I've been staying at hers for a week dog sitting...she'll be back later and I go back to mine...simples

Very grown up and civilized   rubschin:

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on April 15, 2011, 10:14:52 PM
Yeah...It's not difficult...I'd still give her one mind... ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on April 15, 2011, 10:16:44 PM
Nah...just good friends is all. We started off as good friends...got married, didn't work...good friends again...I've been staying at hers for a week dog sitting...she'll be back later and I go back to mine...simples

Very grown up and civilized   rubschin:



What's he doing here then  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 15, 2011, 11:05:32 PM
Miss D, I'll be here from about 2pm on June 4th. Can't have a drink though - I'll be starting work at 4!

Pirate, some other motley crew "look after" Monarch flights...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 16, 2011, 02:58:01 PM
Nah...just good friends is all. We started off as good friends...got married, didn't work...good friends again...I've been staying at hers for a week dog sitting...she'll be back later and I go back to mine...simples

Very grown up and civilized   rubschin:



What's he doing here then  rubschin:

I wondered that.

Perhaps it was an alternative to wearing one of those spikey things on his leg.  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 16, 2011, 03:30:58 PM
Nah...just good friends is all. We started off as good friends...got married, didn't work...good friends again...I've been staying at hers for a week dog sitting...she'll be back later and I go back to mine...simples

Very grown up and civilized   rubschin:



What's he doing here then  rubschin:

I wondered that.

Perhaps it was an alternative to wearing one of those spikey things on his leg.  rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on April 16, 2011, 04:20:46 PM
Nah...just good friends is all. We started off as good friends...got married, didn't work...good friends again...I've been staying at hers for a week dog sitting...she'll be back later and I go back to mine...simples

Very grown up and civilized   rubschin:



What's he doing here then  rubschin:

I wondered that.

Perhaps it was an alternative to wearing one of those spikey things on his leg.  rubschin:

I remember Andy Hamilton on "Have I Got News For You" talking about those. He said they wear them as a reminder to themselves about the sacrifices Jesus made for us, and questioned, "why don't they just put a post-it on the fridge like everybody else"

 happy001  happy001  happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 20, 2011, 07:45:07 PM
Soooo...a plane lands from Dusseldorf - I unloaded the rear hold (96 bags). Then loaded it back up (82 bags). And off it went back to Dusseldorf. Unfortunately a colleague didn't check the front hold properly and thus 15 bags went back to Dusseldorf. Ooops...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 21, 2011, 09:00:11 AM
Soooo...a plane lands from Dusseldorf - I unloaded the rear hold (96 bags). Then loaded it back up (82 bags). And off it went back to Dusseldorf. Unfortunately a colleague didn't check the front hold properly and thus 15 bags went back to Dusseldorf. Ooops...

How could you miss 15 bags in an aircraft hold like...? Shrugs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on April 21, 2011, 11:28:50 AM
Soooo...a plane lands from Dusseldorf - I unloaded the rear hold (96 bags). Then loaded it back up (82 bags). And off it went back to Dusseldorf. Unfortunately I didn't check the front hold properly and thus 15 bags went back to Dusseldorf. Ooops...

 whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 21, 2011, 11:43:54 AM
Soooo...a plane lands from Dusseldorf - I unloaded the rear hold (96 bags). Then loaded it back up (82 bags). And off it went back to Dusseldorf. Unfortunately I didn't check the front hold properly and thus 15 bags went back to Dusseldorf. Ooops...

 whistle:


 lol: lol: lol:

It is all clear now... the new boy....  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 21, 2011, 01:15:15 PM
I refuse to say anything bad about this wonderful man. After all he may be handling my excess baggage soon  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 21, 2011, 01:38:01 PM
Thank you Miss D. The others can feck off!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on April 21, 2011, 01:38:37 PM
I refuse to say anything bad about this wonderful man. After all he may be handling my excess baggage soon  lol:


 eyes:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on April 21, 2011, 02:24:59 PM
I refuse to say anything bad about this wonderful man. After all he may be handling my excess baggage soon  lol:

The Brat??
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 21, 2011, 02:27:10 PM
Oh noes she's not coming with me on the 1st trip  cloud9:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 21, 2011, 03:22:30 PM
Soooo...a plane lands from Dusseldorf - I unloaded the rear hold (96 bags). Then loaded it back up (82 bags). And off it went back to Dusseldorf. Unfortunately I didn't check the front hold properly and thus 15 bags went back to Dusseldorf. Ooops...

 whistle:


 lol: lol: lol:

It is all clear now... the new boy....  noooo:

I shall elucidate for the chrome dome; the front hold has two compartments and one is easily visible with the hold door open, the other is to the left and very dark. What you are meant to do is drive a luggage belt up, then climb on the belt, turn the light on and make sure. He didn't do that - he just did a chin up and peeked in, missing the bags. So there.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 21, 2011, 03:25:47 PM
You have entered an whole new world.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on April 21, 2011, 03:33:15 PM
And fascinating it is too.  ;D



And I mean that!


I did understand about the holds as they haven't changed since my days at Lyneham.

We once managed to send the baggage of a bunch of Paras back to Canada  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 21, 2011, 04:00:04 PM
Soooo...a plane lands from Dusseldorf - I unloaded the rear hold (96 bags). Then loaded it back up (82 bags). And off it went back to Dusseldorf. Unfortunately I didn't check the front hold properly and thus 15 bags went back to Dusseldorf. Ooops...

 whistle:


 lol: lol: lol:

It is all clear now... the new boy....  noooo:

I shall elucidate for the chrome dome; the front hold has two compartments and one is easily visible with the hold door open, the other is to the left and very dark. What you are meant to do is drive a luggage belt up, then climb on the belt, turn the light on and make sure. He didn't do that - he just did a chin up and peeked in, missing the bags. So there.

Couldn't be arsed to do the job properly then like...?  noooo:

I don't suppose your mates in Düsseldorf tucked the bags away in there in the knowledge that they'd be straight back and they'd have 24 hours to rummage through them...?  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 21, 2011, 04:01:36 PM
He hasn't mentioned the perks yet
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 21, 2011, 04:12:06 PM
He hasn't mentioned the perks yet

50% off at McDonalds and 10% off at Costa. That's it. And eye candy. Lots of it  cloud9:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 21, 2011, 04:13:29 PM
Any luck with the Virginettes yet?  eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 21, 2011, 04:13:51 PM
He hasn't mentioned the perks yet

50% off at McDonalds and 10% off at Costa. That's it. And eye candy. Lots of it  cloud9:

And a permanently bad back...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 21, 2011, 04:19:08 PM
Please tell  me you treat the clingfilmers with contempt  evil:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on April 21, 2011, 04:21:37 PM
Please tell  me you treat the clingfilmers with contempt  evil:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 21, 2011, 04:26:16 PM
Please tell  me you treat the clingfilmers with contempt  evil:

happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 21, 2011, 04:48:10 PM
Please tell  me you treat the clingfilmers with contempt  evil:

Oh yes. The bastards. When you're trying to slide a 28kg bag along the hold floor it's bad enough, but when cling-filmed up the fu(kers don't slide. So they are hurled... evil: Also today I offloaded a big bastard A330 from America and there were 259 bags on it. All of them heavy. I nearly shit myself when the first one said "Heavy - 51". Of course the septics still use pounds - all the rest are in kgs. So 51 pounds is sod all, I could lift it hang it off the end of my knob. Bloody Yanks.

And no, Nick, no luck with the Virginettes yet, but I do work with a flight Dispatcher who smiles an awful lot at me. She looks like Phillipa Forrester  cloud9:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 21, 2011, 04:54:31 PM
I had to Google that. Get in there man!!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 21, 2011, 05:03:17 PM
I had to Google that. Get in there man!!

Patience, dear boy - we don't all go steaming in like a testosterone fuelled bull on speed  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 21, 2011, 05:10:33 PM
Please tell  me you treat the clingfilmers with contempt  evil:

Oh yes. The bastards. When you're trying to slide a 28kg bag along the hold floor it's bad enough, but when cling-filmed up the fu(kers don't slide. So they are hurled... evil: Also today I offloaded a big bastard A330 from America and there were 259 bags on it. All of them heavy. I nearly shit myself when the first one said "Heavy - 51". Of course the septics still use pounds - all the rest are in kgs. So 51 pounds is sod all, I could lift it hang it off the end of my knob. Bloody Yanks.


Not bad for somebody who is only four feet tall...  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 21, 2011, 05:33:36 PM
Please tell  me you treat the clingfilmers with contempt  evil:

Oh yes. The bastards. When you're trying to slide a 28kg bag along the hold floor it's bad enough, but when cling-filmed up the fu(kers don't slide. So they are hurled... evil: Also today I offloaded a big bastard A330 from America and there were 259 bags on it. All of them heavy. I nearly shit myself when the first one said "Heavy - 51". Of course the septics still use pounds - all the rest are in kgs. So 51 pounds is sod all, I could lift it hang it off the end of my knob. Bloody Yanks.


Not bad for somebody who is only four feet tall...  rubschin:

5 foot 8 1/2 - not unlike yourself dear BM.  angel1
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: tel on April 21, 2011, 05:41:22 PM
Got beer vouchers for Saturday?

Or are you werking?

£2 a pint without vouchers. (between 1 and 5, I think)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 22, 2011, 04:31:13 AM
Please tell  me you treat the clingfilmers with contempt  evil:

Oh yes. The bastards. When you're trying to slide a 28kg bag along the hold floor it's bad enough, but when cling-filmed up the fu(kers don't slide. So they are hurled... evil: Also today I offloaded a big bastard A330 from America and there were 259 bags on it. All of them heavy. I nearly shit myself when the first one said "Heavy - 51". Of course the septics still use pounds - all the rest are in kgs. So 51 pounds is sod all, I could lift it hang it off the end of my knob. Bloody Yanks.


Not bad for somebody who is only four feet tall...  rubschin:

5 foot 8 1/2 - not unlike yourself dear BM.  angel1

Suffice to say I don't need to include a ½" on my height....  point:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 22, 2011, 05:26:58 AM
Other areas you do though  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on April 22, 2011, 06:26:02 AM
Other areas you do though  whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 22, 2011, 07:30:26 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: beerhead on April 22, 2011, 08:04:13 AM
I know it's off topic, but Youngs are giving beer away on Saturday. Any good to you, TMR ?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 22, 2011, 08:06:02 AM
Malaga flight just gone out an hour late - boyfriend and girlfriend going away together for the first time. She suddenly decides she's scared of flying, so we had to find and unload their bags. And all the other passengers had to get off too! Hilarious!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on April 22, 2011, 08:10:03 AM
That's that relationship done and dusted then. Poor lass will need consoling. Get in there TMR, every cloud and all that  happy088
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 03, 2011, 03:44:19 AM
Saw in an A320 from Malaga about 23:30 - two armed police went on first and "escorted" a man out - I'm sure you'd go with them too when they are brandishing machine guns! Wonder what he did? Costa del Crime, or a quip about terrorists/bombs. He certainly wasn't outrageously drunk.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on May 03, 2011, 03:52:41 AM
Saw in an A320 from Malaga about 23:30 - two armed police went on first and "escorted" a man out - I'm sure you'd go with them too when they are brandishing machine guns! Wonder what he did? Costa del Crime, or a quip about terrorists/bombs. He certainly wasn't outrageously drunk.

Was he ginger...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 03, 2011, 03:58:20 AM
He was gingerish, but didn't look fat enough to be Nick...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on May 03, 2011, 04:01:32 AM
He was gingerish, but didn't look fat enough to be Nick...

He's had the trots for a week tho...  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on May 03, 2011, 05:15:57 AM
He was gingerish, but didn't look fat enough to be Nick...

He's had the trots for a week tho...  rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 04, 2011, 01:27:37 AM
We just broke one of the electric lorries :-( it had 161 bags on it so we had to carry them all the last 100 yards to the reclaim belt. I'm broken :-(
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 09, 2011, 07:59:54 PM
Another pair of sunglasses bites the dust :-(
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on May 09, 2011, 08:04:05 PM
Another pair of sunglasses bites the dust :-(

Yours or a passenger ........ whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on May 09, 2011, 08:13:54 PM
Another pair of sunglasses bites the dust :-(


 rubschin:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi52.tinypic.com%2F2hwh5ae.jpg&hash=618f7384617b411292b39ad7db50f535)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 09, 2011, 08:26:39 PM
Mine! First pair ended up in Barcelona, second pair lost a battle against a heavy Samsonite about 2 hours ago.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on May 09, 2011, 08:33:57 PM
Just check out a few suitcases,like  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pastis on May 09, 2011, 08:35:36 PM
A quick call to Duty Free or Lost Property, know what I mean, wink wink, and you'll be set with a pair of D&G's, Rayban's, know what I mean  ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 09, 2011, 08:36:01 PM
Mine! First pair ended up in Barcelona, second pair lost a battle against a heavy Samsonite about 2 hours ago.

Never pick a fight with religious types.  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on May 09, 2011, 08:37:03 PM
Mine! First pair ended up in Barcelona, second pair lost a battle against a heavy Samsonite about 2 hours ago.

Never pick a fight with religious types.  noooo:

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on May 09, 2011, 08:37:22 PM
 doh:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on May 10, 2011, 04:48:58 AM
doh:

TMR could get you a job there Nick...  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 13, 2011, 03:56:40 AM
We have moved to a new "mess room" which presents a problem for we smokers: it's bloody miles away from any smoking area. The old mess room was less than 3 minutes from fag freedom, but the new one is a twenty minute round trip - and that's if you're at the double. Thus today I didn't have a fag from 15:20 when I went in until 04:40 when I got back out. The "head-rush" as I inhaled that first lovely lungful of Golden Virginia was great and I was wobbling all over the place. Like LegIron, I think it's time to invest in an "electro-fag". And before long, I will get my ADP (Airside Driving Permit), so I will be able to nab an electric towing buggy and drive to "Queensgate", where I can slip out for a proper fag occasionally.     
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on May 13, 2011, 05:43:56 AM
We have moved to a new "mess room" which presents a problem for we smokers: it's bloody miles away from any smoking area. The old mess room was less than 3 minutes from fag freedom, but the new one is a twenty minute round trip - and that's if you're at the double. Thus today I didn't have a fag from 15:20 when I went in until 04:40 when I got back out. The "head-rush" as I inhaled that first lovely lungful of Golden Virginia was great and I was wobbling all over the place. Like LegIron, I think it's time to invest in an "electro-fag". And before long, I will get my ADP (Airside Driving Permit), so I will be able to nab an electric towing buggy and drive to "Queensgate", where I can slip out for a proper fag occasionally.     

Sounds like a good excuse reason for a strike around Spring Bank Holiday  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on May 13, 2011, 06:47:33 AM
We have moved to a new "mess room" which presents a problem for we smokers: it's bloody miles away from any smoking area. The old mess room was less than 3 minutes from fag freedom, but the new one is a twenty minute round trip - and that's if you're at the double. Thus today I didn't have a fag from 15:20 when I went in until 04:40 when I got back out. The "head-rush" as I inhaled that first lovely lungful of Golden Virginia was great and I was wobbling all over the place. Like LegIron, I think it's time to invest in an "electro-fag". And before long, I will get my ADP (Airside Driving Permit), so I will be able to nab an electric towing buggy and drive to "Queensgate", where I can slip out for a proper fag occasionally.     

Sounds like a good excuse reason for a strike around Spring Bank Holiday  whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 13, 2011, 08:15:26 AM
We have moved to a new "mess room" which presents a problem for we smokers: it's bloody miles away from any smoking area. The old mess room was less than 3 minutes from fag freedom, but the new one is a twenty minute round trip - and that's if you're at the double. Thus today I didn't have a fag from 15:20 when I went in until 04:40 when I got back out. The "head-rush" as I inhaled that first lovely lungful of Golden Virginia was great and I was wobbling all over the place. Like LegIron, I think it's time to invest in an "electro-fag". And before long, I will get my ADP (Airside Driving Permit), so I will be able to nab an electric towing buggy and drive to "Queensgate", where I can slip out for a proper fag occasionally.     


"Slipping into Queensgate for a proper fag"?

Sounds a bit  Gayer:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on May 13, 2011, 08:55:52 AM
We have moved to a new "mess room" which presents a problem for we smokers: it's bloody miles away from any smoking area. The old mess room was less than 3 minutes from fag freedom, but the new one is a twenty minute round trip - and that's if you're at the double. Thus today I didn't have a fag from 15:20 when I went in until 04:40 when I got back out. The "head-rush" as I inhaled that first lovely lungful of Golden Virginia was great and I was wobbling all over the place. Like LegIron, I think it's time to invest in an "electro-fag". And before long, I will get my ADP (Airside Driving Permit), so I will be able to nab an electric towing buggy and drive to "Queensgate", where I can slip out for a proper fag occasionally.     


"Slipping into Queensgate for a proper fag"?

Sounds a bit  Gayer:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 14, 2011, 07:11:35 PM
Note to passengers: do not tie identifying ribbons or suchlike round the handle of your bag, because there are some nasty people who will find an identical bag and put that ribbon on it. :-/
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on May 14, 2011, 10:34:47 PM
Note to passengers: do not tie identifying ribbons or suchlike round the handle of your bag, because there are some nasty people who will find an identical bag and put that ribbon on it. :-/



 ;D ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on May 14, 2011, 10:37:52 PM
Note to passengers: do not tie identifying ribbons or suchlike round the handle of your bag, because there are some nasty people who will find an identical bag and put that ribbon on it. :-/

 lol: lol: lol: nonono:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 26, 2011, 02:37:44 AM
A typical day on "the ramp". (The Ramp is a term for all things regarding seeing a plane it, unloading it, re-filling it, pushing it out and seeing it off again)

My first job required me to grab a "Charlatte" (an electric baggage tug) and go to stand 22, via "Bravo" where the bags that need loading will be, if they haven't already been delivered to the stand. First problem, none of the ramining Charlattes are working! Luckily, within minutes someone turns up to park one that works - so I nab that and off I whizz. I collect the 2 trailers for our plane and get to stand 22, albeit about 5 minutes late - I needn't have worried, the swarms of engineers vans round the plane tells me something is awry. It transpires there is a problem with a fuel leak, so we put the baggage bins on the low loader, but not on the plane as there is a good chance they will have to do a "plane swap". All we can do is go up to the gate and await further instructions - this is fine by us as it means we just stand around admiring the lovies hoping to head off to Malaga! After a further 30 minutes hanging around, some of the younger passengers are getting a bit agitated and we are required to have "a few words" with them. Luckily 10 minutes later the engineers allow the plane to fly and the passengers all cheer - we go back downstairs and set to work loading. Unfortunately, the delay means that the next plane we were to do is already parked up waiting to be loaded up. I am sent to start this while my other 2 team members finish off the first one. When I get to it, two of the office supervisors (in suit trousers and shirts) are making a start on it - although no bags are there yet. I whizz off to Bravo again and grab the two trailers and whizz back - the supervisors have put the luggage belt up to the hold and ask if I would mind doing the loading on my own (normally there are 2 of you in the plane - one to pass the bags and one to stack them). Seeing as they are supervisors I say "no problem!" Luckily it's on 71 bags so I manage it without too much trouble although the stacking wasn't the neatest! My other 2 team members turn up and we go to the departure gate to get any gate bags / children's pushchairs but there aren't any. But a passenger hasn't turned up...and his bag has been loaded. We leave it ten more minutes and still no sign of him, so the decision is made to remove his bag. Guess who gets the job...luckily it's one of the first I check - bag off, hold closed up and we're ready to push the plane out for take-off. And then the silly bastard passenger turns up and for some reason is allowed on - so hold opened up, bag put back on, close up again and the plane finally sets off. Next job is goes fine, but it is a shitty little Boeing 737 which are horrible to load up - I must have banged my head at least 10 times due to the crappy hold layout. We get sent back to base where I'm put on a break, so I scoff some food down and then nick a Charlatte so I can go out for a cigarette or two. I get back am immediately sent out for the evenings off-loads. First plane in is a heavily laden Airbus A320 from Sharm-el-Sheikh - 168 bags, all 20+ kilos, one was 37kg! Eeek, must have cost them a fortune. From then on it's just off-load after off-load and before I know it my team leader tells me to go back to base, even though we are only halfway through a job - it's because it's 01.45 already and time for home! The 10 hour shift has flown by!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on May 26, 2011, 06:16:48 AM
My hero... worthy:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 03, 2011, 02:19:01 AM
So...first job of the day is a Belfast spin. Easy enough - never many bags on these. As I can now drive the electric flatbed lorries, I helped unload the plane then went on my own to go and chuck 'em on the reclaim belt in the North Terminal. By the time I got back to the plane, the outgoing bags are all loaded and I was sent up to the departure gate to get any children's buggies / late gate bags.

This is nice and cushy as you just sit there waiting for the passengers to go through and then take whatever down to the plane.

Passenger to TMR "I just put £1.60 in the vending machine and it swallowed my money without giving me my Fanta."

TMR to passenger "How disappointing."

Passenger to TMR "Well what are you going to do about it?"

TMR to passenger "There's nothing I can do"

Passenger to TMR "But you work here, you must be able to do something!"

TMR to passenger "Sir, I look after your bags and make sure the plane goes out safely and on time, I don't look after the vending machines. Do you see the words on my hi-viz - it says Aviation, not libation".

Passenger to TMR "You're not being very helpful, can you call someone to get me a refund?"

TMR to passenger "Strangely, I don't have the number for vending services on my phone and even if I did, I'm not sure either you or I would want to hold up the plane for the sake of £1.60"

Passenger to TMR "Your attitude is terrible, I shall make a formal complaint about this"

TMR to passenger "That is your perogative, but personally I wouldn't have even tried to pay £1.60 for a Fanta in the first place."

Passenger to TMR "The air conditioning in here is terrible - I was extremely thirsty"

TMR to passenger "Make sure you put that in your complaint too"

At this point I reached into my pocket and pulled out my bottle of Fanta (60p to us) guzzled the lot, threw the empty in the bin and trundled off to the plane with the two pushchairs that were there.

Another satisfied customer :-)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on June 03, 2011, 02:35:09 AM
 lol: lol: lol: eveilgrin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 03, 2011, 09:58:59 AM
So...first job of the day is a Belfast spin. Easy enough - never many bags on these. As I can now drive the electric flatbed lorries, I helped unload the plane then went on my own to go and chuck 'em on the reclaim belt in the North Terminal. By the time I got back to the plane, the outgoing bags are all loaded and I was sent up to the departure gate to get any children's buggies / late gate bags.

This is nice and cushy as you just sit there waiting for the passengers to go through and then take whatever down to the plane.

Passenger to TMR "I just put £1.60 in the vending machine and it swallowed my money without giving me my Fanta."

TMR to passenger "How disappointing."

Passenger to TMR "Well what are you going to do about it?"

TMR to passenger "There's nothing I can do"

Passenger to TMR "But you work here, you must be able to do something!"

TMR to passenger "Sir, I look after your bags and make sure the plane goes out safely and on time, I don't look after the vending machines. Do you see the words on my hi-viz - it says Aviation, not libation".

Passenger to TMR "You're not being very helpful, can you call someone to get me a refund?"

TMR to passenger "Strangely, I don't have the number for vending services on my phone and even if I did, I'm not sure either you or I would want to hold up the plane for the sake of £1.60"

Passenger to TMR "Your attitude is terrible, I shall make a formal complaint about this"

TMR to passenger "That is your perogative, but personally I wouldn't have even tried to pay £1.60 for a Fanta in the first place."

Passenger to TMR "The air conditioning in here is terrible - I was extremely thirsty"

TMR to passenger "Make sure you put that in your complaint too"

At this point I reached into my pocket and pulled out my bottle of Fanta (60p to us) guzzled the lot, threw the empty in the bin and trundled off to the plane with the two pushchairs that were there.

Another satisfied customer :-)


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsuper-genius.org%2Fimages%2Fmr_burns_excellent.jpg&hash=6ee1b9212341c2ee530bea4e78caa487)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on June 03, 2011, 10:02:16 AM
FANTAstic































 drumroll:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 04, 2011, 03:58:59 AM
First it was cyclists who annoyed me with engineless contraptions in ridiculously bulky plastic containers - a total bastard to load an unload.

Then the golfists with their humungous golf bags stuffed full with all their clothes.

Now it's divers. Innocuous looking bags that appear welded to the hold floor - oh no - they are merely full of the weights these eejits need so that they can sink 20 metres to look at a black and orange 3 inch fish. Bastards. Use Google like any sane person - my back aint getting any younger!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2011, 04:50:25 AM
First it was cyclists who annoyed me with engineless contraptions in ridiculously bulky plastic containers - a total bastard to load an unload.

Then the golfists with their humungous golf bags stuffed full with all their clothes.

Now it's divers. Innocuous looking bags that appear welded to the hold floor - oh no - they are merely full of the weights these eejits need so that they can sink 20 metres to look at a black and orange 3 inch fish. Bastards. Use Google like any sane person - my back aint getting any younger!

I'm a diver!  cussing:

But I've never understood why people would take their own lead abroad with them...  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on June 04, 2011, 06:49:37 AM
First it was cyclists who annoyed me with engineless contraptions in ridiculously bulky plastic containers - a total bastard to load an unload.

Then the golfists with their humungous golf bags stuffed full with all their clothes.

Now it's divers. Innocuous looking bags that appear welded to the hold floor - oh no - they are merely full of the weights these eejits need so that they can sink 20 metres to look at a black and orange 3 inch fish. Bastards. Use Google like any sane person - my back aint getting any younger!

I'm a muff diver!  cussing:



 whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2011, 06:51:57 AM
First it was cyclists who annoyed me with engineless contraptions in ridiculously bulky plastic containers - a total bastard to load an unload.

Then the golfists with their humungous golf bags stuffed full with all their clothes.

Now it's divers. Innocuous looking bags that appear welded to the hold floor - oh no - they are merely full of the weights these eejits need so that they can sink 20 metres to look at a black and orange 3 inch fish. Bastards. Use Google like any sane person - my back aint getting any younger!

I'm a muff diver!  cussing:



 whistle:


Dirty boy!  nonono:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on June 04, 2011, 07:10:12 AM
absolutely shocking   angel1
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 04, 2011, 10:22:36 AM
absolutely shocking   angel1
Quite so.

All those extra greenhouse gasses from needless air transport of lead.  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2011, 10:23:53 AM
absolutely shocking   angel1
Quite so.

All those extra greenhouse gasses from needless air transport of lead.  noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 20, 2011, 08:15:55 PM
Sooo...the Deportee on the Virgin Atlantic plane didn't want to go. Somehow he/she had a razor and slashes their wrist then swallows the razor. One dead deportee, one very messy Jumbo jet in need of cleaning...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 20, 2011, 08:17:16 PM
 eeek:

Security is working well then  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on June 20, 2011, 08:23:44 PM
Sooo...the Deportee on the Virgin Atlantic plane didn't want to go. Somehow he/she had a razor and slashes their wrist then swallows the razor. One dead deportee, one very messy Jumbo jet in need of cleaning...


Dead?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-13841862 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-13841862)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 20, 2011, 08:24:32 PM
Just read the news - seems it was he throat he slashed and he didn't die. Shame.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on June 20, 2011, 08:28:12 PM
 happy100
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 21, 2011, 05:14:21 AM
eeek:

Security is working well then  noooo:

Indeed, what a farce...  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on June 21, 2011, 05:38:51 AM
Bloody immigrants ~ can't get anything right  ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 21, 2011, 05:44:43 AM
It was prolly a breach of his yea-man rights (did you see what I did there?) to search him... prolly had a bit of ganja stashed away 'for the journey' too....  noooo:

Mind you, I could be stereotyping here, I haven't read the story...  noooo:

Although I am reading the biography of Alan Blumlein (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Inventor-Stereo-works-Blumlein-ebook/dp/B0035RQX1K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1308635007&sr=8-1) who invented stereo if that counts...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on June 23, 2011, 05:51:25 PM
United Breaks Guitars (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YGc4zOqozo#ws)  razz:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on June 23, 2011, 06:05:02 PM
 lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 23, 2011, 06:29:26 PM
Look at this lot...

easyJet Careful Baggage Handling (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geeldwbn3jk#ws)

Any wonder we call them "Circus Air"? And any wonder they're losing all their contracts  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 23, 2011, 06:40:53 PM
 redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 24, 2011, 04:34:40 AM
Thomas Cook - Paphos >>> Gatwick Saturday arvo....  ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 24, 2011, 04:40:56 AM
Thomas Cook...don't do them :-(
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on June 24, 2011, 04:52:03 AM
Thomas Cook - Paphos >>> Gatwick Saturday arvo....  ;)

 lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 24, 2011, 05:13:34 AM
Thomas Cook...don't do them :-(

prolly just as well... they have quite big cases...  ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 24, 2011, 05:14:23 AM
...and lots of baby stuff. TMR's favourite  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 24, 2011, 05:16:39 AM
...and lots of baby stuff. TMR's favourite  lol:

he could steal some little booties....  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 24, 2011, 05:18:25 AM
 lol: lol: lol:

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 24, 2011, 08:53:53 AM
Barman - kindly go and fall off a roof.

Miss D - I am disappointed in you :-(
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 24, 2011, 08:56:45 AM
Sorry Sir .... redface:

The big boys made me do it  ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 24, 2011, 09:04:19 AM
BM is not - I can assure you - a "big boy"...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 24, 2011, 09:08:30 AM
I take it you have insider knowledge  ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on June 24, 2011, 09:09:43 AM
Is it time for my pork joke?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 24, 2011, 09:20:38 AM
Indeed Miss D - I witnessed "maggot" BM in the Westminster Arms...he'll no doubt blame all the Spitfire he had drunk and the cold weather...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 24, 2011, 12:17:34 PM
Indeed Miss D - I witnessed "maggot" BM in the Westminster Arms...he'll no doubt blame all the Spitfire he had drunk and the cold weather...

Just because you could see under the cubicle door!  point:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on June 24, 2011, 12:19:55 PM
That's an admission in my book  angel1
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 24, 2011, 12:22:23 PM
That's an admission in my book  angel1

Only if he opened the door to let him in.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 24, 2011, 01:32:44 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 29, 2011, 04:00:48 AM
Well that was an interesting day. As you will have read, a lightning strike caused some problems and that coupled with planes flying round the storms led to delays that compounded over the course of the day meaning that lots of our final flights landing 90 minutes or so later than usual. We had 22 landing after midnight and there's no way the skeleton night shift would have coped.

So 6 of us stayed on - 2 teams of 3. First one for us was a nice light one from Edinburgh. All going swimmingly until we went to put the bags on the domestic reclaim belt in the North terminal - one of our other teams were there and they had somehow managed to block the belt, which shut itself down. They had another flight to meet so I told them to go and do that and I would sort the belt out and then unload our bags. The other 2 in my team went off to meet our next flight.

20 minutes later and with the help of engineers, we managed to get the belt going again and I unloaded my lorry. Then off to the next job.

From feckin Oporto. Front hold CRAMMED with feckin bicycles in big plastic cases. Rear hold CRAMMED with feckin surfboards. Middle holds CRAMMED with suitcases, wheelchairs and baby buggies. Bastards!

Next job Air Fungus with 3 containers full of feckin transfer bags and cargo (mainly mail). Next job a fairly straighforward Faro flight, with only a few sets of golf clubs (they're usually rammed). Last job Heraklion - we put 2 teams on it for speed.

Then back to the crew room for 10 minutes before being sent out to go round the airport picking up all the electric tugs that had been left lying around (some of the lazy sods I work with just leave them all over the shop, even though they should bring them back and put them on charge for the morning) but happily for me, I was the one driving the minibus, just dropping colleagues off to drive the tugs back.

Then, just as the daylight creeps across the sky, we go home.

Yet again, I nearly run over a fox in Coulsdon. It's like they play "chicken" with cars - darting out at the last minute. Next time...

Couple of cans then bed.

And do it all again in 10 hours time.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 29, 2011, 04:07:26 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 29, 2011, 04:11:40 AM
Oh - and don't put bottles of spirits in yer bags. They can get broken quite easily and when the contents then cover a baby buggy, gawd only knows how pissed the baby's gonna get...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 29, 2011, 04:15:30 AM
Oh - and don't put bottles of spirits in yer bags. They can get broken quite easily and when the contents then cover a baby buggy, gawd only knows how pissed the baby's gonna get...

Broken quite easily when you jump up and down on them...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 29, 2011, 04:21:27 AM
Honestly - I've never seen any of my lot stand on a bag, never mind jump on one. But when you unload a plane, the bags obviously endure impacts - be they when they hit the floor of the lorry, or when other bags land on top of them. Pack better - seeemples!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 29, 2011, 04:24:06 AM
Honestly - I've never seen any of my lot stand on a bag, never mind jump on one. But when you unload a plane, the bags obviously endure impacts - be they when they hit the floor of the lorry, or when other bags land on top of them. Pack better - seeemples!

Sage words indeed...  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 29, 2011, 04:33:10 AM
We've got 35 minutes from the second the chocks are put on the plane until the last bag is put on the reclaim belt. Time is precious and bags cannot each be put gingerly (sorry Nick) onto the lorry or baggage belt!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on June 29, 2011, 04:45:07 AM
We've got 35 minutes from the second the chocks are put on the plane until the last bag is put on the reclaim belt. Time is precious and bags cannot each be put gingerly (sorry Nick) onto the lorry or baggage belt!

Not werkin for the guverment then?  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 29, 2011, 08:20:59 AM
We've got 35 minutes from the second the chocks are put on the plane until the last bag is put on the reclaim belt. Time is precious and bags cannot each be put gingerly (sorry Nick) onto the lorry or baggage belt!
[not sarky]
Your tales have done a great deal to improve our pre-conceptions of your profession. Well done. ;D[/not sarky]
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 29, 2011, 03:16:02 PM
Why thank you DS, if you should ever be passing through Gatwick I will of course ensure the safe transit of your luggage.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on June 29, 2011, 03:41:23 PM
Why thank you DS, if you should ever be passing through Gatwick I will of course ensure the safe transit of your luggage but not of your Talisker.
whistle:


Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 29, 2011, 03:48:07 PM
Why thank you DS, if you should ever be passing through Gatwick I will of course ensure the safe transit of your luggage but not of your Talisker.
whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 29, 2011, 04:59:51 PM
Why thank you DS, if you should ever be passing through Gatwick I will of course ensure the safe transit of your luggage but not of your Talisker.
whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
sad32: sad32: sad32:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 29, 2011, 05:02:07 PM
Why thank you DS, if you should ever be passing through Gatwick I will of course ensure the safe transit of your luggage but not of your Talisker.
whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
sad32: sad32: sad32:
lol: lol: lol:

The ridiculous thing is of course that you can fly almost anywhere else in the world and buy the stuff cheaper than you can in the UK...  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 30, 2011, 01:56:23 AM
It appears that goose-stepping round the Air Berlin planes is frowned upon :-)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 30, 2011, 02:48:57 AM
It appears that goose-stepping round the Air Berlin planes is frowned upon :-)

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on June 30, 2011, 05:22:11 AM
It appears that goose-stepping round the Air Berlin planes is frowned upon :-)

 happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 30, 2011, 09:52:58 AM
It appears that goose-stepping round the Air Berlin planes is frowned upon :-)

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 05, 2011, 02:05:34 AM
So...tonight they say "TMR, fancy learning 'brake riding' tonight?". "Not arf!" says I.

At the end of the night, lots of planes are on stands that do not suit the requirements for the first flights out the next morning; so our boys tow them around so that the right planes are in the right place. This requires the bloke who can tow the plane, plus another in the heavy tug with him to talk to the other who is "brake-riding" in the plane. The job of the brake-rider is to sit in the captains seat, start the auxilliary power unit (the small jet that powers the hydraulics, leccy, air-con etc.) release the parking brake and then cover the brakes whilst being towed - in case somehow the plane becomes detached from the towbar and tug.

So tonight I have been starting the small auxilliary jets, sitting in the captains seat and covering the brakes on a £80 million pound Airbus A320. Eeek!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on July 05, 2011, 02:07:26 AM
So...tonight they say "TMR, fancy learning 'brake riding' tonight?". "Not arf!" says I.

At the end of the night, lots of planes are on stands that do not suit the requirements for the first flights out the next morning; so our boys tow them around so that the right planes are in the right place. This requires the bloke who can tow the plane, plus another in the heavy tug with him to talk to the other who is "brake-riding" in the plane. The job of the brake-rider is to sit in the captains seat, start the auxilliary power unit (the small jet that powers the hydraulics, leccy, air-con etc.) release the parking brake and then cover the brakes whilst being towed - in case somehow the plane becomes detached from the towbar and tug.

So tonight I have been starting the small auxilliary jets, sitting in the captains seat and covering the brakes on a £80 million pound Airbus A320. Eeek!

Cool............................. ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 05, 2011, 02:36:47 AM
Not arf! I will admit to being somewhat nervous (read: cacking meself) throughout!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 05, 2011, 03:17:32 AM
And before anyone thinks this job is just playing with big boys toys (awaits an inevitable BMong joke) prior to the brake riding I did 3 unloads with my "team" - 2 others. Neither of whom could drive electric lorries, chock a plane, power a plane up or put steps on. All 3 unloads needed steps and free-standing ground power units(GPUs), which are basically just mahoosive diesel generators. So for those 3 jobs I had to go and find the steps, lower them, tow them to the plane,raise them, put them on, secure them THEN tow the GPU to the plane, power the plane up, get the OK from the pilot that he was powered up and thus could shut down his auxilliary power jet THEN reverse the electric lorry up to the front and back holds to get all the bags off AND help lug all the bags off AND THEN drive the electric lorry to the baggage reclaim belts and offloads the bags there. The other 2 could only offload the bags from the plane and at baggage reclaim and put the cones round the plane. No wonder I'm feckin knackered - but I loved every moment of it. 
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 05, 2011, 04:54:55 AM
MR is my hero... worthy:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 05, 2011, 04:59:23 AM
MR is my hero... worthy:

He's lost his T  eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 05, 2011, 05:13:31 AM
MR is my hero... worthy:

He's lost his T  eeek:

It didn't seem fair to call him 'Tiny' any more after his herculean efforts....  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 05, 2011, 05:30:12 AM
 lol:

So he has been upgraded  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 05, 2011, 05:31:12 AM
lol:

So he has been upgraded  rubschin:

Yes, I think he has those things in his shoes....  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 05, 2011, 05:30:25 PM
lol:

So he has been upgraded  rubschin:

Yes, I think he has those things in his shoes....  rubschin:

Stones, to make him limp?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on July 05, 2011, 05:39:41 PM
I think he consumes Youngs for that
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 06, 2011, 04:40:37 AM
Soooo....

Lots of delayed flights - would I stay on until 4am? Of course, I said.

Last bastard flight landed at about 03.25 and was sent to stand 161. For anyone who doesn't know Gatwick, that's about half way to Brighton, right out in the sticks. So I needed to get a Ground Power Unit and 2 sets of steps out there and the other 2 on my team couldn't help with either. God smiled on me and I managed to find all I needed fairly close by. Let us just say that the bags came off that particular plane with some velocity and the last one was on the luggage reclaim belt at 03.43. I was driving the diesel lorry for this job and let's just say I may have exceeded the 20mph limit...

Home, beer, fags, sleep. It's very odd driving home watching the streetlights turning OFF :-/
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 06, 2011, 07:41:30 AM
Streetlights! Luxury!



Anyhoo, well done you hardworking and dedicated bag crushers.  ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on July 06, 2011, 03:00:25 PM
Big diesel............... whistle:


baby driving tractor (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3S1WLLYHiE#)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 06, 2011, 03:02:05 PM
Big diesel............... whistle:


baby driving tractor ([url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3S1WLLYHiE#[/url])


That's him!  eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 07, 2011, 12:28:04 AM
Soooo...the Duty Manager just asked me to do another couple of hours overtime tonight "But don't tell the others". Hmmmm....
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 07, 2011, 02:52:27 AM
Soooo...the Duty Manager just asked me to do another couple of hours overtime tonight "But don't tell the others". Hmmmm....

 2gayers:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 07, 2011, 03:07:30 AM
I did wonder, BM - you can't blame her though, I'm a handsome chap.

As it turned out, it was simply that there were two delayed flights that needed looking after and thus only needed one team of 3 to cope - she didn't want the others to see the obvious favouritism she has for me and the 2 I picked as my team, so she sent us out at 1.30 to take some "cargo" over to the depot. The others saw us go and then were told we would only be 20 minutes and they could leave now. In reality she told us to sod off over to the cargo depot, go outside and smoke and she would contact me on the radio when we were needed. It worked a treat and the others need never know.

Oh, and on the way back after finishing the 2 flights, we repossessed about 40 chocks from BA, but that's another story. 
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 07, 2011, 03:15:27 AM
I did wonder, BM - you can't blame her though, I'm a handsome chap.

As it turned out, it was simply that there were two delayed flights that needed looking after and thus only needed one team of 3 to cope - she didn't want the others to see the obvious favouritism she has for me and the 2 I picked as my team, so she sent us out at 1.30 to take some "cargo" over to the depot. The others saw us go and then were told we would only be 20 minutes and they could leave now. In reality she told us to sod off over to the cargo depot, go outside and smoke and she would contact me on the radio when we were needed. It worked a treat and the others need never know.

Oh, and on the way back after finishing the 2 flights, we repossessed about 40 chocks from BA, but that's another story.

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on July 07, 2011, 04:54:14 AM
... Oh, and on the way back after finishing the 2 flights, we repossessed about 40 chocks from BA, but that's another story.

Miss D will be in touch shortly  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 07, 2011, 05:02:32 AM
A delivery address has been supplied  8)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 07, 2011, 08:10:33 AM
A delivery address has been supplied  8)

I thought you didn't like plane chock?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on July 07, 2011, 08:13:32 AM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 07, 2011, 10:49:30 PM
More delays, more overtime :-)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on July 07, 2011, 10:50:46 PM
More delays, more overtime :-)

 More Youngs................... ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 07, 2011, 11:33:34 PM
Last night on shift tonight, so yup Young's tomorrow :-)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 08, 2011, 03:24:17 AM
Sooooo....

Hostilities between us and the British Airways ground crew continue to escalate.

A bit of history:- when the North terminal opened it was home to BA who pretty much had the run of the place to themselves. Those days are long gone and their presence is diminishing rapidly and Easyjet is by far the biggest carrier of the whole airport. But the BA ground crew still think they OWN the North terminal and all the plane stands.

About a year ago, all the other ground handlers got together and forked out to ensure that certain things were on all the stands - chocks and cones - and we would all use them when we had a plane on that stand. BA refused to join in and insisted on using their equipment.

Fair enough - their choice.

Over the past few months, however, they have started nicking our stuff as their stuff wears out/breaks. Quite often now we will get to a stand and have no chocks and cones - but look next door and you will see the BA have "borrowed them".
Easyjet have very specific targets about how quickly a plane should be chocked and coned and they audit us regularly, so not having the equipment to hand is problematic.

As I mentioned yesterday, it was time to say enough is enough and a plan was hatched. A couple of us were lucky enough to see a BA ground handler chucking a couple of chocks into a little wooden shed outside the BA crew room. Further covert investigations revealed that there were about 50 chocks in the shed. Our chocks.

So that's why last night, round about 02.30 me and 2 others were sent to repossess them. We knew that at that time of the morning any BA crew around would be fast asleep and thus 10 minutes later the shed was empty and I was driving away with 46 chocks, which have subsequently been returned to their rightful place and the surplus ones stockpiled in the South terminal - BA never come over to the South.

All very childish and silly, I know but the BA lot have taken it very badly and called some of our crew "Fucking thieves" earlier today. This was unwise as one of the people they shouted at was a bloke called Richard who is, quite frankly, a monster. When he got out of his electic buggy and unfolded himself into his 6 foot 4 of tree-trunk tattooed arms and shaved head and calmly said "what did you call me?", it appears the BA boys went a bit pale and beat a hasty retreat.

Later, one of our belt-loaders on a stand next to theirs "mysteriously" suffered a puncture. In 2 tyres...

It's gonna get messy!
 
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 08, 2011, 05:14:49 AM
Oh dear , can you easily identify that the chocks and cones that are not theirs?

 I would mark everything up if not and then stand by and watch them make fools of themselves.

Seems farcical though  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 08, 2011, 03:20:22 PM
Miss D - the cones are easy, ours are green theirs are yellow!

BA carve their initials into their chocks - I think that fate awaited the ones in the shed...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 15, 2011, 02:22:16 AM
Today was an good day. Since I decided to have a large bowl of porridge every morning, in addition to to my mackerel/sardine toasties, I have boundless energy.

Our last job of the night was the Pafos one and I had been given Stuart and Suki as my team. Stuart is...an interesting lad. Always looks like he's in a daze and only has one speed - slow. Suki, from India is fairly new but very keen. Neither of them drive airside, nor can they power-up the planes or put steps on. So they were purely there to help unload the bags. Once I had chocked and powered the plane, I reversed the lorry up to the hold entrance and hopped straight in to start chucking the bags out. Stuart asked if I wanted him to do it and I said "no, we're in a hurry!" No matter how unsubtle I am about his speed, he doesn't seem to register the point. Thus it was that porridge-fired me thew the 113 22kg bags the 15 feet or so to the hold entrance while the other 2 stacked them on the lorry. Bags were flying through the air quicker than they could unload them! It took 9 minutes, with Suki doing the majority on the lorry.

Then off to baggage reclaim. On route, Suki, in his heavy Indian accent said "TMR, has anyone ever told you that you are a maniac?"

"Yup", I said, "pretty much everyone"

Stuart, in his daze, mumbled "one of those bags you threw whacked me on the arm and it's really sore..."

Well speed up then Stuart...and look up and you will see the airborne Samsonites...you could even catch them!

The youth of today, huh?  No wonder this country is fecked.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 15, 2011, 02:31:55 AM
Oh, I should add that in my porridge-fuelled frenzy, when I reversed the lorry up to the plane I jumped out of it so quickly that the lorry door I threw open went back so quickly that it sprung back off the hinge and the door-catch mechanism took a lovely "V" shaped chunk of flesh out of my left arm, just below the elbow. It's still bleeding now...dangerous stuff this porridge, eh?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 15, 2011, 04:28:04 AM
Christ, what do you shit like?  lol:

I'm surprised there isn't more union intervention to curb your enthusiasm to be honest.... rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 15, 2011, 05:07:11 AM
Good to hear you are getting your oats though  lol:

TMR the maniacal bag tosser  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 15, 2011, 08:05:35 AM
Good to hear you are getting your oats though  lol:

TMR the maniacal bag tosser  lol:
lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 21, 2011, 03:02:25 AM
As you all know Gatwick is next to Crawley. And some of you might think that Crawley is a "nice place". 23,000 people work at Gatwick - the majority from Crawley.

I am beginning to think that Crawley is somehow a portal to Norfolk - I cannot believe the number of mongs, crossed-eyed fuckwits, thugs and troupes of the "hard-of-thinking" inhabit the place. "Hello, uncle dad" is an oft heard phrase. 

It's so weird...drive 5 miles down the road into Surrey and all is better. Apart from Hooley. Which is inhabited by the worst drivers I have ever encountered. All in Range Rovers with blacked-out windows, of course. Gemima and Tristran just back from Uni, no doubt, borrowing Papa's car so they can pop into Purley for some Tapas and Mojitos with Ralph and Penny.  evil: evil: evil:

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on July 21, 2011, 04:25:21 AM
It's a whole different world at 4 am. noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 21, 2011, 08:37:31 AM
As you all know Gatwick is next to Crawley. And some of you might think that Crawley is a "nice place". 23,000 people work at Gatwick - the majority from Crawley.

I am beginning to think that Crawley is somehow a portal to Norfolk - I cannot believe the number of mongs, crossed-eyed fuckwits, thugs and troupes of the "hard-of-thinking" inhabit the place. "Hello, uncle dad" is an oft heard phrase. 

Crawley is creepy.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 21, 2011, 09:52:49 AM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 23, 2011, 02:06:06 AM
Last off-load of the night landed at 01.11 - from Larnaca. 148 bleedin' bags and 3 wheelchairs. And it was pissing down at Gatwick so the bags were like bars of soap.

Horrible  evil:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 23, 2011, 06:08:22 AM
 happy100

They are slippery sods those residents of Cyprus  ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 23, 2011, 10:28:58 AM
happy100

They are slippery sods those residents of Cyprus  ;)
Tsk. While they are powerless to defend themselves.
 noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on July 23, 2011, 11:50:13 AM
happy100

They are slippery sods those residents of Cyprus  ;)
Tsk. While they are powerless to defend themselves.
 noooo:

 drumroll:

 evil:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 23, 2011, 01:11:39 PM
happy100

They are slippery sods those residents of Cyprus  ;)
Tsk. While they are powerless to defend themselves.
 noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 15, 2011, 03:30:30 AM
Well, another interesting day on "the ramp".

Started off by hoping to meet Miss D in the South Terminal, but our paths didn't cross. I spent the first 50 minutes in the crew room drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Then I got the call "TMR please". Up to the allocator's window I went and was handed a job - Barcelona in / Porto out. Whoa! Up until now, I've only been a Team Leader on straight forward offloads, as there is a lot less responsibility - you're simply chocking, coning, powering-up a plane and getting all the bags to reclaim. In a plane turnaround, the Team Leader is responsible for ensuring the plane goes out again with all the right bags in it. Two of the Supervisors were going to join at the end - one on the headset to the pilot and one in the push-back tug, to push the plane off the stand onto the taxiway. Everything else was my responsibility.

It didn't start off well. One of the newbies - Suki - is, erm, a bit absent-minded and thus it was that the plane came on to the stand and rather than wait for the engines to spool down, off he merrily went putting the cones round the plane narrowly getting ingested into a CFM-56 engine. After that scare, the rest went fine - 118 bags off and 107 loaded. As Team Leader, I chucked them on the loading belt (ensuring correct destination, flight number and date on each tag) and then signed the "trim" detailing how many bags were in each of the 3 holds. This is then countersigned by the pilot. The 2 supervisors then arrived and the plane went off. Total turnaround time 33 minutes.

Back to the crew room - where I lambasted Suki for nearly becoming Suki mince. He's only young and just laughed. I wasn't impressed.
I was then sent off on another job and the rest of the night followed the usual pattern right up until the moment that Nigel, during an Edinburgh offload decided to headbutt an unyielding piece of metal in baggage reclaim. Claret everywhere. Not good. Being a good egg, he laughed it off and just said he wanted scars on his head like me.

Last offload was a biggie from Paphos and once we had finished I radioed in and was told to go back to base "for a chat". Oh gawd - I assumed it was to fill out accident forms an suchlike, but no, the chat was a very quiet "we need 3 people to stay on tonight, do you want it?" I obviously said yes and nominated Nigel, who was also up for it. "What about Suki - he's usually up for it?" I asked. "We sent him home earlier, after his incident. He may not be back." Ah...

The next plane in was from Palma Mallorca. At the time, there was only me and Nigel available, we were waiting for a 3rd person, but none had finished the jobs they were on. "No problem, Nige and me will do it." And so we did, just Nige and me. The plane stopped at stand 58 at 02.03 and at 02.27 the last of the 103 bags hit the reclaim belt. I radioed it in was was told "RTB (return to base) which we did. We arrived back at base at 02.32 and were told "We've put you down for 2 hours overtime each, thanks for your help now fu@k off home". Splendid, 2 hours overtime for just over an extra 1/2 hour's work. One of those every day would be nice...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on August 15, 2011, 05:16:40 AM
 :thumbsup: Top Man TMR
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on August 15, 2011, 05:34:15 AM
TMR! worthy:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 16, 2011, 02:07:32 AM
Tonight was guns. And transvestites.  Four guns off a flight from Malaga. You obviously just chuck 'em on the baggage reclaim belt, so I had to carry them through and present them in the "red channel" at customs, where they would be reunited with their owner, once he provided the requisite forms. It's only 100 yards from the red channel to the outside world, so once I'd dumped the guns with the Customs numpty, I naurally went straight outside for a couple of ciggies whilst the other two in my team unloaded the rest of the bags :-)

Whilst outside, an elderly gentleman approached me (this happens a lot if you're wearing a hi-viz at the airport) and asked me for directions to the "Sofitel". "My lady friend are staying the night before we head off to Cornwall" said he. He then pointed out his "lady friend". Who was about 6 foot 2, with a pronounced adam's apple and a five o'clock shadow barely obscured by trowel-loads of foundation. A long blonde peroxide wig, high-heels and micro skirt completed the look.

I'm afraid I burst out laughing and wandered back in to the terminal, I do hope it wasn't a first date!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on August 16, 2011, 04:54:59 AM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on August 16, 2011, 07:06:00 AM
Tonight was guns. And transvestites.  Four guns off a flight from Malaga. You obviously just chuck 'em on the baggage reclaim belt, so I had to carry them through and present them in the "red channel" at customs, where they would be reunited with their owner, once he provided the requisite forms. It's only 100 yards from the red channel to the outside world, so once I'd dumped the guns with the Customs numpty, I naurally went straight outside for a couple of ciggies whilst the other two in my team unloaded the rest of the bags :-)

Whilst outside, an elderly gentleman approached me (this happens a lot if you're wearing a hi-viz at the airport) and asked me for directions to the "Sofitel". "My lady friend are staying the night before we head off to Cornwall" said he. He then pointed out his "lady friend". Who was about 6 foot 2, with a pronounced adam's apple and a five o'clock shadow barely obscured by trowel-loads of foundation. A long blonde peroxide wig, high-heels and micro skirt completed the look.

I'm afraid I burst out laughing and wandered back in to the terminal, I do hope it wasn't a first date!

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 16, 2011, 07:46:43 AM
I'm sorry TMR but you are going to have to stay in this job for life, if only for the entertainment  value.  lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 17, 2011, 02:08:55 AM
Fairly uneventful night tonight apart from one flight where I was told the rear hold door was "In-op" (presume this mean inoperative) and all the bags were in the front hold. We took 107 bags out of the front which is about average for a Palma Mallorca flight. Later, I found out that there were actually 24 bags in the rear...ooops!

Next job was the Amman flight - always a heavy load. Tonight was just taking the piss though -
scores of bags all 32+ kilos and 171 in total. One was 47kg! When I first tried to lift it I thought some wag had super-glued it to the floor.  Some careful stacking on the electric lorry was required to get them all on and by the time we'd unloaded them at baggage reclaim we were all pretty knackered...but it was only 01.05 so when I radioed it in I was expecting to get one final job. The answer came back "...you finished that quick...go and have a fag and then RTB". Dean (the job allocator) is an lovely man!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 17, 2011, 08:07:19 AM
 happy100  Umm a hard days night then?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on August 17, 2011, 08:09:18 AM
He'll be running BAA in a few years you mark my words.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on August 17, 2011, 02:30:08 PM
He'll be running BAA in a few years you mark my words.

I'll sell my shares....  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 22, 2011, 02:16:25 AM
After finishing the Chlamydia flight (Ibiza) I was tol to go to stand 101 for the next job "in about 15 minutes". This is the code the allocators use to tell me I have time to nip out landside for a quick ciggie, before the plane arrives. Obviously, the allocators can't be seen to be encouraging us to go outside, so they always drop heavy hints. Good lads.

Anyhoo, was having a ciggie with one of my team - the other went to 101 and would make a start if we weren't back in time - when the allocator called me on the radio - "change of plan, sort out the Malaga flight on 112. It's just landed". Bugger. We finished our ciggies, rushed through security and went as fast as we could (the electic baggage tugs are limited to 20mph) to 112. Luckily, the plane was still taxiing (is that a word?) to stand and we made it O.K.  Plane unloaded and bags deposited in the North baggage reclaim by 01:09. I called it in and was sort of expecting "RTB". Alas no :-(  "Go to 160 Right", plane's already on the deck". Stand 160 Right is out in the fields a bit and by the time we got there the plane was just pulling up to the stand. Being a remote stand, means there is no jetty for the passengers to get off through, so it needs steps put on. In my team, only I am "qualified" to put steps on a plane (can be risky - easy to damage the plane) so the other 2 busied themselves getting the holds open and startin to get the bags out. I put the mains power on the plane, then towed the steps up close and pulled them in the final few yards, before securing the stabilisers. Luckily, the transfer buses hadn't turned up, so my delay wasn't a problem - they weren't getting off anyway!

Bags unloaded (Alicante - only about 100), mad dash back to the North terminal baggage reclaim, bags chucked and I radioed it in "RTB" came the welcome reply. The Alicante plane landed at 01:14 and we were heading back to base at 01:42. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the passengers were still on the plane waiting for the buses!

Why oh why can't I have Harry and Bobby in my team every night, life would be sooooo much easier!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on August 22, 2011, 04:52:07 AM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 23, 2011, 02:26:26 AM
Fairly quiet night, but a few "moments".

First 2 jobs of the were easy enough and not much to unload and then - unusually - we were RTB'd for 20 minutes or so, before being sent out to stand 106 (North Terminal) for a Corfu, 131 bag job. We arrived at the stand and I made sure the chocks and cones were ready, then put the mains power on in readiness. The plane in question then came screamind down the taxiway - probably faster than I go down the M23! - and swung into the stand and stopped, brake coolers screaming. It sounds just like an air-raid siren and just as loud. While my two team members busied themselves with the cones and getting the holds open, I chocked it, powered it up then banged on the underside of the cockpit to let the pilot know mains power was on - there's a little hand sign you do to tell them. Lo and behold, the pilot was a woman! And a looker too!  Bleedin' hell, they'll be giving them the vote next...

Having dumped the luggage at reclaim we were sent to the next job, Las Palmas on 105. Heavy, heavy, heavy. 162 big bastard bags, 9 baby buggies and 2 heavy wheelchairs. We were all sweating like pigs by them time we dumped that lot at reclaim. By this time it was 12.45 so I radioed in and was told "Right, last job is on 170, bags to the North reclaim. Lands in about 20 minutes". Perfick. Stand 170 is out in the fields, but right beside an entrance/exit where I could nip out for a ciggie while we waited. Suitably ciggied up, I re-joined my 2 colleagues and hooked up a set of steps in readiness, then sat back and watched as a swarm of EasyJets landed.

15 minutes passed and I was getting perturbed as the passenger buses hadn't turned up. Odd, but they are late quite a lot...

Suddenly, my radio crackled into life - "TMR, I've dropped a bollock, your plane is actually coming in on stand 11, not 170". "No worries" says I, we are on our way. Stand 170 is about as far away as you can get from 11, so the race was on - could we get there before the plane. Luckily I had one of the faster electric buggies and at one point I was alongside the plane as it taxied to the stand. Hopped out, chocked it, powered it, then my colleague turned up and we off-loaded it, as the rain started to come down. The poor passengers, coming back from Heraklion, didn't look impressed with the weather as the filed onto the transfer bus!  Stand 11 is in the South Terminal, but they were being bussed to the North Terminal, where we had to dump the bags.

As usual, all the bags were on the carousel by the time they cleared Passport control and we were heading back to base and off home. Another afternoon and night in the life on "the ramp" - it's amazing how quickly the 12 hours passes. Bleedin' knackered now, mind. 
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 23, 2011, 07:27:15 AM
When's the book coming out?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on August 23, 2011, 02:57:37 PM
When's the book coming out?


I'm just going to wait for the film Uncle....

funny airplane scene (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eU6emfGeQo#ws)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 24, 2011, 02:26:09 AM
Trouble at mill.

Did a plane "spin" earlier and I wasn't team leader as you need someone to drive the push-back tug and someone on the headsets to the pilot - so on this job I was just the baggage loader/unloader.

Anyhoo, the team leader (push-back tug driver) and headsets bloke are both really nice and good fun.

The plane came to the head of stand and stopped and we are not meant to approach the plane until the anti-collision lights have been turned off - but in reality, you creep up to the plane whilst waiting. These two chaps crept a bit too close, a bit too soon - to put the chocks on and the power. Luckily, I stayed rooted to my spot until the anti-collisions had gone out, then put the cones round and opened the rear hold door. The fourth member of our team, Stupid Stu opened the front hold and did a "chin up" to check the front was empty. You're not meant to do this - you bring a loading belt to the hold and walk up it and take a good look, to make sure it's empty.

The plane was unloaded, then re-loaded double quick (nearly bloody killed me, mind) and the plane went off on time, despite landing 25 minutes late.

Back to the crew room for a break then suddenly all four of us were called into the office. Not good. Apparently we had been videoed by the Airline's H+S nazi, who took a dim view of the safety "lapses".

And I say lapses because in reality, the deviations from "procedure" are not in any way dangerous to anyone who knows a bit about planes.

Regardless, the Duty Manager is obliged to investigate and we all had to write reports of our roles in the job and we warned that we may be suspended during the investigation.

When I handed my report in he told me "TMR, the video shows you did everything by the book, so you're fine. The other 3, however..."

We'll find out more later today.

The airline nazi also videoed another crew - they are also in the dock. 
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on August 24, 2011, 04:53:31 AM
Oh gawd....  scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on August 24, 2011, 04:56:19 AM
Bank Holiday's coming up. You're due a strike aren't you  point:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on August 24, 2011, 04:57:33 AM
Bank Holiday's coming up. You're due a strike aren't you  point:

happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Uncle Mort on August 24, 2011, 06:28:51 AM
Bank Holiday's coming up. You're due a strike aren't you  point:

happy001

Many a true word...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 25, 2011, 01:54:44 AM
Following yesterday's "incident", the Team Leader was giving a severe bollocking and that's all. Result. 
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on August 25, 2011, 04:51:32 AM
Following yesterday's "incident", the Team Leader was giving a severe bollocking and that's all. Result.

Bingo!  :thumbsup:

And the H&S Nazi's car was blocked in by a 747 tug....?  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 30, 2011, 02:41:15 AM
First night back and a good busy night, I stayed on an extra 1/2 hour to do the delayed Dalaman flight.

Highlight of the night was Malaga flight - I picked up a bag belonging to a "Beartice H****y" and it was vibrating...we chose not to examine the contents!

The journey home takes 26 minutes - 27 if I hit two sets of red lights. I know every pothole, the fastest line through any corners and where I can use gravity as opposed to petrol. I set off the same speed warning signs every night and I see the same foxes every night.

When I get back home, it's always a bugger trying to find somewhere to park and I normally end up about 300 yards down the road. Since my little incident with the unwanted intruders, I am a bit jumpy and I don't like the 300 yard walk back home. Tonight, however, there were two police cars and a van parked halfway between where I parked and home - the police eyed me suspiciously as I crawled past in the car, looking for a spot. So I eventually found a space and started walking back - genuinely glad that they were there. As I was approaching them they were still eyeing me - can't blame them, shaved head, wearing shorts at this time of the morning. I said to them "Nice to see you". One then blocked my path and asked "Where have you been this evening?". So I told them - Gatwick, just finished work. "What do you mean, "nice to see you?" So I explained about the intruders and my jumpiness when walking along the road in the early hours. "Oh, we know all about your case - one of the worst attacks round here for ages, are you alright? You should take up the Counselling they offer, we're desperate to get this gang, they've done two more since you."

What a nice bunch of plod!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on August 30, 2011, 04:20:53 AM
First night back and a good busy night, I stayed on an extra 1/2 hour to do the delayed Dalaman flight.

Highlight of the night was Malaga flight - I picked up a bag belonging to a "Beartice H****y" and it was vibrating...we chose not to examine the contents!

The journey home takes 26 minutes - 27 if I hit two sets of red lights. I know every pothole, the fastest line through any corners and where I can use gravity as opposed to petrol. I set off the same speed warning signs every night and I see the same foxes every night.

When I get back home, it's always a bugger trying to find somewhere to park and I normally end up about 300 yards down the road. Since my little incident with the unwanted intruders, I am a bit jumpy and I don't like the 300 yard walk back home. Tonight, however, there were two police cars and a van parked halfway between where I parked and home - the police eyed me suspiciously as I crawled past in the car, looking for a spot. So I eventually found a space and started walking back - genuinely glad that they were there. As I was approaching them they were still eyeing me - can't blame them, shaved head, wearing shorts at this time of the morning. I said to them "Nice to see you". One then blocked my path and asked "Where have you been this evening?". So I told them - Gatwick, just finished work. "What do you mean, "nice to see you?" So I explained about the intruders and my jumpiness when walking along the road in the early hours. "Oh, we know all about your case - one of the worst attacks round here for ages, are you alright? You should take up the Counselling they offer, we're desperate to get this gang, they've done two more since you."

What a nice bunch of plod!

Why were they there tho...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 30, 2011, 10:36:01 AM
There's a small block of flats there - I think it's a sort of halfway house thing - and there are some "strange" people in there. Hence my jumpiness walking along the road.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: tel on August 30, 2011, 10:38:34 AM
Some of them are a bit more than strange!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on August 30, 2011, 10:39:26 AM
"Half-way House" or a "Probation Hostel"  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on August 30, 2011, 10:39:52 AM
Some of them are a bit more than strange!

TMR you mean...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 30, 2011, 11:06:22 AM
I think Snoopy has the measure of it, although there is definitely one odd one - the Manic Street Preacher - "AND GOD IS YOUR REDEMPTION, THROUGH HIS LOVE YOU WILL ATTAIN ETERNAL PEACE.." He got the hump when I asked him how he felt about the "act of god" that was the Tsunami...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on September 10, 2011, 01:09:10 AM
Last flight of the night was Antalya. 185 feckin bags/golf clubs etc.  We had the electric lorry stacked so high that the top ones scraped the roof as we went into the North baggage tip.

Bastard passengers!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Uncle Mort on September 10, 2011, 07:18:50 AM
Bastard passengers!

I've heard they're termed "SLC" (Self Loading Cargo)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: GROWLER on September 10, 2011, 07:24:37 AM

What a nice bunch of plod!

 eeek:
I need a  eastdrink048...quick like.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on September 15, 2011, 02:44:35 AM
The electric lorries we drive weigh 6 1/2 tons. Hefty.

The front cowl of a CFM-56 engine as used on an Airbus A319 is surprisingly fragile.

Unfortunately one of my colleagues decided to splice the two this evening. There was only ever going to be one winner and it wasn't the engine.

Not good.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on September 15, 2011, 04:17:36 AM
The electric lorries we drive weigh 6 1/2 tons. Hefty.

The front cowl of a CFM-56 engine as used on an Airbus A319 is surprisingly fragile.

Unfortunately one of my colleagues decided to splice the two this evening. There was only ever going to be one winner and it wasn't the engine.

Not good.

Not cheap....  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on September 15, 2011, 03:03:57 PM
Expensive for him - he resigned this morning.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on September 15, 2011, 06:15:52 PM
Expensive for him - he resigned this morning.

Shit!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on September 16, 2011, 02:02:09 AM
I can sort of understand why he did, BM.  We are all still temps, but the full-timers get a monthly bonus. His accident will cost each and every one of them £100. He's 40 years old and what I would call a bit of a "softie". He wouldn't have been able to handle the remarks that would have been made about him, within earshot. Shame, he's a nice bloke.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on September 16, 2011, 04:41:18 AM
Fell on his sword like....?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on October 06, 2011, 10:13:22 PM
 Popcorn:

Has Gatwick closed?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 09, 2011, 02:36:47 AM
Sorry for the lack of recent updates, but nothing "new" has happened.

Until Monday just gone, when I received a text from my agency saying that with immediate effect, I would be finishing at 1am, not 2am. The logic being that now the summer holidays are over, the number of big, late flights has reduced, thus less headcount required.  And to an extent, that is right.

On Monday night, however, there were still six big flights due in after 1am and it resulted in Supervisors et al having to leave the comfy office to go and unload the planes.  Today was my first night back on shift and an eyed up the flights after midnight - 6 from 12am to 1am and NINE from 1am to 2am. Iwas not in the least bit surprised when I called my last scheduled job in at 00.45 - "can you stop on for an hour - we'll pay you for 2".  8)

And so it came to pass that we finally unloaded the ErictheLion flight (Heraklion) and were back in the crew room at 02.13. The Duty Manager was extremely grateful to the 3 of us who stayed and even gave a lift straight back to the staff car park, rather than having to catch the staff bus. And he let us smoke in the car en route.  ;D

I expect the same to happen later on today as Sunday's are busier than Saturday's.

The contract I'm on expires on 31/10 and I am led to believe that we should be informed who is being kept on permanently, some time this week. The bottom line is they are keeping about 30% of the 150 or so they took on over the summer. Will I be one of them? I don't know, but stopping on when they are short of bodies always goes down well and I have always volunteered. Fingers crossed.

Relationships with British Airways continue to plumb new depths and one of our lot was accused of clobbering a BA bus with his electric buggy. The general feeling is that the bus driver managed to do the damage and has simply blamed us for it - for starters the damage occurred in part of the airport we simply don't use - it's pure BA territory and secondly if the 3 and 1/2 ton electric buggy had hit it, the damage would be pretty extensive. Lying bastards!

One of the blokes who started at the same time as me, through the same agency, is a Scouser, Despite this, he's not a bad lad - he was in the Navy for 22 years and remarkably well-read. For a Scouser. We had a bet about a month ago about wearing shorts - who would be the first to put trousers on when it got colder. Lo and behold, today he was wearing trousers - poof! So all the coffees have been on him today. And I accidentally nearly broke his arm - I was chucking the bags from the dark recesses of the hold of an A320 to the hatch and he was too slow taking a previous bag out - BANG - 26kg of fake Louis Vuitton luggage crushed his arm against the side of the hold door. Whoops...

Right, time to hit the sack, I've gotta be back there in 9 1/2 hours...

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 09, 2011, 07:21:23 AM
Hope they make you a suitable offer TMR . Perhaps then you might be able to have  a bit of a holiday of your own  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on October 09, 2011, 08:07:17 AM
Hope they make you a suitable offer TMR . Perhaps then you might be able to have  a bit of a holiday of your own  :thumbsup:

... and chance his baggage with those baggage handlers  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 09, 2011, 10:48:51 AM
Hope they make you a suitable offer TMR . Perhaps then you might be able to have  a bit of a holiday of your own  :thumbsup:

Holiday you say? But where  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on October 09, 2011, 10:50:37 AM
Know a cheap place in Cyprus  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 09, 2011, 12:13:00 PM
Know a cheap place in Cyprus  :thumbsup:

All freshly painted like.......... :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 09, 2011, 11:29:41 PM
Praise be to the Greek Austerity measures. Their ATC keep going on strike and I keep getting overtime because of it!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 09, 2011, 11:41:17 PM
Praise be to the Greek Austerity measures. Their ATC keep going on strike and I keep getting overtime because of it!

 :thumbsup:  hoping for you that all nations have a credit bail-out ........ lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 10, 2011, 02:01:45 AM
Praise be to the Greek Austerity measures. Their ATC keep going on strike and I keep getting overtime because of it!


 :thumbsup:  hoping for you that all nations have a credit bail-out ........ lol:


Indeed. I'm home now, but flight radar 24 (http://www.flightradar24.com/ (http://www.flightradar24.com/)) shows 3 more Easyjets about to land. I could have stayed longer!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 10, 2011, 02:03:08 AM
Praise be to the Greek Austerity measures. Their ATC keep going on strike and I keep getting overtime because of it!


 :thumbsup:  hoping for you that all nations have a credit bail-out ........ lol:


Indeed. I'm home now, but flight radar 24 ([url]http://www.flightradar24.com/[/url] ([url]http://www.flightradar24.com/[/url])) shows 3 more Easyjets about to land. I could have stayed longer!



More over-time ......... :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 10, 2011, 02:20:07 AM
Praise be to the Greek Austerity measures. Their ATC keep going on strike and I keep getting overtime because of it!


 :thumbsup:  hoping for you that all nations have a credit bail-out ........ lol:


Indeed. I'm home now, but flight radar 24 ([url]http://www.flightradar24.com/[/url] ([url]http://www.flightradar24.com/[/url])) shows 3 more Easyjets about to land. I could have stayed longer!



More over-time ......... :thumbsup:


I'm enjoying a nice couple of bottles of Old Speckled Hen - I need it, the last two jobs there were only two of us on it - me and camp Nigel, he's a nice bloke but a bit slow. The last flight we did was from Faro and it had 29 golf bags (with clothes inside) all weighing the full 32kgs - he was too knackered to lift any of them! I ended up chucking 83 out of the 122 bags on to the reclaim belt, me bleedy arms are like Popeye's. He is 53, mind...well old...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on October 10, 2011, 05:32:06 AM
Oi!  cussing:  53 is not well old (JOM 52 and 10 months)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 10, 2011, 05:34:21 AM
TMR's tongue strength far more powerful than his arm  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on October 10, 2011, 05:35:44 AM
The eternal optimist eh  ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 10, 2011, 05:40:56 AM
 smile:

Must be the case though , he has to soak it in beer often to relieve its exhaustion  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: tel on October 10, 2011, 08:20:58 AM
smile:

Must be the case though , he has to soak it in beer often to relieve its exhaustion  whistle:

And you've been assisting?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 10, 2011, 11:16:59 AM
Camp Nigel has just rung me. Our Agency phoed him this morning - his temporary contract ends TOMORROW.  eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 10, 2011, 11:21:25 AM
Well the good news is they haven't phoned you yet  scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on October 10, 2011, 11:21:38 AM
No news is good news :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 10, 2011, 11:28:56 AM
Right, I'm off to work  scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: tel on October 10, 2011, 12:40:25 PM
Fingies crossed.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 10, 2011, 03:47:31 PM
Praise be to the Greek Austerity measures. Their ATC keep going on strike and I keep getting overtime because of it!


 :thumbsup:  hoping for you that all nations have a credit bail-out ........ lol:


Indeed. I'm home now, but flight radar 24 ([url]http://www.flightradar24.com/[/url] ([url]http://www.flightradar24.com/[/url])) shows 3 more Easyjets about to land. I could have stayed longer!


Cool web site.  Hope all goes well job wise.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pastis on October 10, 2011, 05:04:30 PM
Cool indeed!  I can hear them as they go over and identify them  eeek:  (anorak alert)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 10, 2011, 05:09:29 PM
Loads of them aren't there   eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pastis on October 10, 2011, 05:12:31 PM
EIN 176 has just gone overhead   eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on October 10, 2011, 05:14:13 PM
 Wankah:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pastis on October 10, 2011, 05:17:35 PM
 evil:  May EZY 265 turn North West and fall upon you! 
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on October 10, 2011, 05:18:38 PM
Ooh yes, I can see it now angel1
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on October 10, 2011, 05:21:42 PM
EIN 176 has just gone overhead   eeek:

Sounds like a line from the old Victor comic or such-like, "Ein Spitfire ist approaching from ze West"
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 10, 2011, 09:25:35 PM
The end.

:-(
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 10, 2011, 09:29:29 PM
The end.

:-(

 wot ................no contract .......????
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 10, 2011, 09:33:32 PM
Nope. One day left. That's it.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 10, 2011, 09:34:37 PM
The end.

:-(

Oh no  :crying3: :crying3:

Sorry to hear hun ..... Buggerybollox
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 10, 2011, 09:36:04 PM
Sorry to hear .............anything you can nick on the last day.... rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 10, 2011, 09:37:38 PM
Thanks Miss D. There are other jobs going at the airport, so I need to get my arse up here for 10am Wednesday for an informal interview.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 10, 2011, 09:38:52 PM
I'll write you a reference  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on October 10, 2011, 09:41:48 PM
Thanks Miss D. There are other jobs going at the airport, so I need to get my arse up here for 10am Wednesday for an informal interview.

Not with BA I hope... ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 10, 2011, 09:42:23 PM
I'll write you a reference  lol:

 eeek: noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 10, 2011, 09:43:02 PM
I'll explain more later...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 10, 2011, 09:46:47 PM
 Popcorn:

Pearl and Dean 80s intro (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jG3m0YfVmk#)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: tel on October 10, 2011, 09:56:51 PM
Bollix! To put it mildly.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 10, 2011, 10:00:57 PM
Bad luck lad. Hope something turns up PDQ.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on October 10, 2011, 10:04:13 PM
Really sorry to hear that TMR. Given all your efforts, I'm surprised. I know it doesn't help one iota, but it seems to be their loss  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 11, 2011, 01:04:14 AM
Right - update. Sorry for not posting earlier, but as you know, BlackBerry went tits up...

It appears that the agency have kept 6 of the original 24 on - but how much longer still hasn't been confirmed; it may only be to the end of the month. The selection criteria of who stays has not been detailed - worse, there is a suggestion it was simply names out of a hat.

The Duty Manager, Supervisors and Flight Allocators are simply aghast that I'm not being kept on - in the words of Dean (Allocator) "TMR, if I had 10 of you, we could do away with 20 of some of the full-time ones we have". It's very nice to hear that and I know that the decision on who stays is not down to them - even the Duty Managers don't get a say, it all comes "from upstairs".

A few weeks ago, after staying on late, one of the Duty Manager's drove me back to my car an en route hinted that they wanted make me permanent, but avoid doing so through the agency (as they would doubtless charge a percentage for the introduction) and that "they have my phone number" so it may be that they will contact me at a later date, once the agency involvement is fully over.

There are 11 blokes on my shift and each one has said that they cannot understand why I haven't been kept on - "TMR, you are the hardest working one of all of us and highest trained, it makes no sense". Again, very nice to hear.

I'll go to the Agency on Wednesday and see about this other position - hopefully it will tide me over for the time being and with any luck I'll be back chucking bags about before too long.

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on October 11, 2011, 05:25:52 AM
Fingers are crossed for you TMR, keep by that phone, and pray for no interruption in service  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 11, 2011, 05:47:51 AM
The recognition that you have been doing such a good job is well deseved  :thumbsup:

Still think the whole thing stinks over who was awarded permanent jobs and the selection /  decision making  process should be transparent and open to challenge at the very least. FFS no interviews were held so what criteria were used ?

I know you won't want to rock the boat at the moment ...I only hope this works out for you. Fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you. It's not an attractive look so if you could put me out of my discomfort as soon as poosible that would be most appreciated  lol:

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on October 11, 2011, 06:03:12 AM
Right - update. Sorry for not posting earlier, but as you know, BlackBerry went tits up...

It appears that the agency have kept 6 of the original 24 on - but how much longer still hasn't been confirmed; it may only be to the end of the month. The selection criteria of who stays has not been detailed - worse, there is a suggestion it was simply names out of a hat.

The Duty Manager, Supervisors and Flight Allocators are simply aghast that I'm not being kept on - in the words of Dean (Allocator) "TMR, if I had 10 of you, we could do away with 20 of some of the full-time ones we have". It's very nice to hear that and I know that the decision on who stays is not down to them - even the Duty Managers don't get a say, it all comes "from upstairs".

A few weeks ago, after staying on late, one of the Duty Manager's drove me back to my car an en route hinted that they wanted make me permanent, but avoid doing so through the agency (as they would doubtless charge a percentage for the introduction) and that "they have my phone number" so it may be that they will contact me at a later date, once the agency involvement is fully over.

There are 11 blokes on my shift and each one has said that they cannot understand why I haven't been kept on - "TMR, you are the hardest working one of all of us and highest trained, it makes no sense". Again, very nice to hear.

I'll go to the Agency on Wednesday and see about this other position - hopefully it will tide me over for the time being and with any luck I'll be back chucking bags about before too long.

Contracts for agency staff normally have a clause in that prevents direct recruitment of anyone supplied by the agency. This can be as much as 6 months salary being payable to the agency. We used to include such clauses in our contracts to supply security guards but within weeks of a loss of contract we would find our staff who had worked on a site being employed directly. It is a hard one to prove if a decent gap is left. Restraint of trade comes into it too.
Taking the employer to court would result, at best, in a nominal award in our favour to cover costs of recruitment, vetting, training and admin.... so those who wanted our staff would wait 4 to 6 weeks by which time it was not worth our while employing the lawyers to sue them. Where we could redeploy the staff we had a better chance of compo but if we had no similar work for them we lost everytime.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 11, 2011, 06:36:13 AM
We've had several run in with agencies wanting to charge an extortionate fee for recruiting their staff. The only way we have got round this is by going through the competitive interview process , open to all and had to be advertised etc etc etc.

Be interesting to see how what changes start emerging with the Agency Working Regulations which came in on the 1st October  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on October 11, 2011, 06:57:28 AM
Our point always was we had paid for the recruitment, vetting, training etc AND that the client had signed a contract that clearly stated that they had to recompense us if they poached our staff.

Clients were happy and eager to solve an immediate problem by signing our contract but would then always argue that we were preventing someone from working. (Restraint of trade)

As you say the way round it is to allow a competitive recruitment process to be seen to be done .... but that too costs money and time so some bright spark will always try to find a way round it.

As for the "new regs" ..... how many of those have I seen over a lifetime?
"The more things change the more they stay the same."

Of course the argument of "We paid for the recruitment etc" can be countered by "Yes but you surely factored that into the price you charged us" but when that was tried we demonstrated that such items were factored to last the lifetime of the contract and included replacement staff as and when necessary....... and so it goes on.

Like I said ~ it gets too expensive to employ m'learned friends to fight it out so in the end either the employer waits for a decent period before he makes the call or the two sides negotiate an accommodation.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 11, 2011, 11:01:24 AM
Right, last day. I believe I may have quite a few ciggie breaks  8)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 11, 2011, 11:33:04 AM
Right, last day. I believe I may have quite a few ciggie breaks  8)

And check out cheap flights to Cyprus...  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: tel on October 11, 2011, 12:04:43 PM
I'll drink to that
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 11, 2011, 12:32:22 PM
Fingers are crossed for you TMR, keep by that phone, and pray for no interruption in service  :thumbsup:

^^^Wot he said^^^^

As Miss D says all the positive comments that you have received are well deserved. :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 12, 2011, 01:09:11 PM
Too many people were coming up to me and saying how sorry they were I was leaving - so I made an early exit.








The agency phoned just now.






Would I mind going back for at least a few more weeks? :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on October 12, 2011, 01:10:08 PM
Excellento  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 12, 2011, 01:53:39 PM
Well done TMR!  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on October 12, 2011, 02:12:48 PM
 Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pastis on October 12, 2011, 02:19:07 PM
Hurrah!   :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 12, 2011, 02:44:50 PM
 :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 12, 2011, 03:01:41 PM
Because you're worth it  lol:


 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 12, 2011, 05:35:43 PM
Most excellent. Drinks are on you then which is great news because the Milky Bar Kid is crap when it comes to getting a round in.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 12, 2011, 06:03:55 PM
Good news TMR.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on October 12, 2011, 06:06:18 PM
Gizza job. I can inseminate turkeys  :thumbsup:  And turnips at a push  sick2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on October 12, 2011, 06:07:49 PM
Yabadabbadoo. Excellent news TMR  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 12, 2011, 06:08:09 PM
Gizza job. I can inseminate turkeys  :thumbsup:  And turnips at a push  sick2:

Buffoon!  ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on October 12, 2011, 06:11:26 PM
YOu have not seen me at my insemination werk, like evil:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 12, 2011, 06:11:37 PM
Gizza job. I can inseminate turkeys  :thumbsup:  And turnips at a push  sick2:

Good to see you have given up on wimmin - phew  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 12, 2011, 06:12:25 PM
YOu have not seen me at my insemination werk, like evil:

Nor has your girlfriend!  point:

happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on October 12, 2011, 06:14:24 PM
How would you know?  eyes:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on October 12, 2011, 06:15:27 PM
Gizza job. I can inseminate turkeys  :thumbsup:  And turnips at a push  sick2:

Good to see you have given up on wimmin - phew  lol:

ANd when are you viziting my lickle hippo?  eyes:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on October 12, 2011, 06:26:41 PM
YOu have not seen me at my insemination werk, like evil:

Nor has your girlfriend!  point:

happy001

Barman, it's wrong to take the piss out of the disabled  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 12, 2011, 06:28:20 PM
YOu have not seen me at my insemination werk, like evil:

Nor has your girlfriend!  point:

happy001

Barman, it's wrong to take the piss out of the disabled  whistle:

Oh...  redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on October 12, 2011, 06:38:18 PM
This is an mystery  angel1
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 13, 2011, 09:17:29 AM
Gizza job. I can inseminate turkeys  :thumbsup: 

I feel that your attributes would be better suited to the Quail industry.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on October 13, 2011, 09:33:34 AM
Gizza job. I can inseminate turkeys  :thumbsup: 

I feel that your attributes would be better suited to the Quail industry.

 happy002
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on October 13, 2011, 09:36:59 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: beerhead on October 13, 2011, 09:58:37 AM
So sorry TMR- it's insane that you loose a job when it is obvious to all that you are good at it. Don't fret about upsetting the agency. They would sh** on you from a great height without a thought.

There may be some jobs going ripping the loos out of Ryanair B737's though !
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 13, 2011, 10:07:58 AM
So sorry TMR- it's insane that you loose a job when it is obvious to all that you are good at it. Don't fret about upsetting the agency. They would sh** on you from a great height without a thought.

There may be some jobs going ripping the loos out of Ryanair B737's though !

737's  noooo: noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 13, 2011, 11:59:45 AM
So sorry TMR- it's insane that you loose a job when it is obvious to all that you are good at it. Don't fret about upsetting the agency. They would sh** on you from a great height without a thought.

There may be some jobs going ripping the loos out of Ryanair B737's though !


I'm sure you saw this over at "the other place". Worth repeating here though.

Cheap Flights with subtitles (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPyl2tOaKxM#ws)

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pastis on October 13, 2011, 05:23:37 PM
From your earlier link:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mediafire.com%2Fimgbnc.php%2F27bb10436df793a1f02792d245c1c33a409ed25253f19f9a4f58c3778b68af7d6g.jpg&hash=17193369cc12d2e29a5a00f669173904)

 eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 13, 2011, 05:54:36 PM
From your earlier link:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mediafire.com%2Fimgbnc.php%2F27bb10436df793a1f02792d245c1c33a409ed25253f19f9a4f58c3778b68af7d6g.jpg&hash=17193369cc12d2e29a5a00f669173904[/url])


Sounds Yorkshire-ish.

Near Sheffield probably.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on October 13, 2011, 07:36:00 PM
didn't they used to be called Flybe
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 13, 2011, 07:38:58 PM
didn't they used to be called Flybe

Sinatra with a cold.

"Flybe to the boon"
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 13, 2011, 07:41:11 PM
From your earlier link:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mediafire.com%2Fimgbnc.php%2F27bb10436df793a1f02792d245c1c33a409ed25253f19f9a4f58c3778b68af7d6g.jpg&hash=17193369cc12d2e29a5a00f669173904[/url])


Sounds Yorkshire-ish.

Near Sheffield probably.


Ooo visitors. eveilgrin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on October 13, 2011, 07:46:04 PM
From your earlier link:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mediafire.com%2Fimgbnc.php%2F27bb10436df793a1f02792d245c1c33a409ed25253f19f9a4f58c3778b68af7d6g.jpg&hash=17193369cc12d2e29a5a00f669173904[/url])


Sounds Yorkshire-ish.

Near Sheffield probably.


Ooo visitors. eveilgrin:


 noooo: They're coming to nuke ya
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 13, 2011, 07:55:45 PM
Oh bugger I'll put the tea and cakes away then. evil:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 14, 2011, 07:30:05 AM
Oh bugger I'll put the tea and cakes away then. evil:

Fear not, I believe that is the BA flight from Heathrow to Edinburgh...a Ted Rogers...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 17, 2011, 12:57:33 AM
What a difference a fortnight makes - 2 weeks ago the average load was about 120 bags. Tonight, I didn't do one over 80. The only "biggie" was the Sharm-el-Sheikh with 160 but I was sent for a tactical ciggie when it came in. I started off, at 1pm with an Air Fungus - easy, all the bags are in containers which are loaded straight in, so no manual chucking and stacking, then I had a pissy little Aurigny prop plane - about 40 bags. Next up, just two of us sent to unload an Easyjet from Barcelona - only 76 bags. And one firearm - perfect, as you have to take that through the red channel in customs and from there it's a short walk outside for a ciggie! Next up one from Inverness - 61 bags. And one firearm :-) Another ciggie. Then I had a canteen break and finished off with 4 fairly small offloads. Piece of cake, I may even wake up tomorrow without any aches or pains!

'Twas a bit chilly in shorts mind. And bloody foggy on the M23 coming home.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 18, 2011, 01:41:46 AM
I spoke too soon  surrender:

Flight from Faro with 97 bleddy golf bags on it - what was there, a feckin tournament or summat?  evil:

And STILL flights from Sharm, Hurghada, Dalaman and Amman all bleddy crammed to the rafters  cussing:

And in a month's time (if I'm still there) bleddy skiing bags will start to appear  cussing:

Still, all this free excercise must be good for me. I keep telling myself...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 18, 2011, 05:15:52 AM
You also have the joys of half term next week  noooo:

Though presumably we are all skint and can't afford our own air fares let alone those of the screaming money pits  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on October 18, 2011, 05:46:29 AM
We'll have a fortune once we've shopped around for the cheapest home fuel deals, put on a jumper and insulated our homes more  cussing:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 18, 2011, 05:47:01 AM
We'll have a fortune once we've shopped around for the cheapest home fuel deals, put on a jumper and insulated our homes more  cussing:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 25, 2011, 01:26:56 AM
Up until 3 weeks ago, we dealt with 160 flights per day. Now that the "high season" is over, it's a mere 145 per day.

'Cept now we're doing that with 25% less headcount now that the vast majority of temps/agency workers have gone. I'm bleddy knackered  cussing:

Last flight this morning was Hurghada - 157 bags (including 5 windsurfer type things that take up too much space on the lorry) and it landed at 00:20. I chucked the bags out of the plane, unfortunately my lory loaders were - to be frank - shite and after the 125 from the rear hold was on, there wasn't much space left due to their poor stacking/loading. They started getting all moany saying we needed to radio for another lorry to be sent but I told them that wasn't happening as all the other crews were out. We put the lorry on the front hold and then some very un H&S stacking took place as they threw the bags to me whilst I was standing on the pile in the middle of the lorry. A bit of "careful" redistribution later and all 157 were on. We tootled off and offloaded them at baggage reclaim then went back to the crew room.

The Duty Manager just smiled at me and said "That was an unusual stacking process..."  He had driven past whilst I was atop the pile  redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 27, 2011, 09:39:19 PM
Even now, late in October, we have a flight from Antalya coming in at 01:15 with 175 bags on it! Wonder if I'll get a final hour's overtime?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 28, 2011, 06:15:45 AM
Even now, late in October, we have a flight from Antalya coming in at 01:15 with 175 bags on it! Wonder if I'll get a final hour's overtime?

I wonder how many bags made it to the carousel...?  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on October 28, 2011, 06:22:59 AM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs7.postimage.org%2Fu15o23hw7%2Flady_carousel.jpg&hash=8ebc225f0531a3145d5ee95a5b8f2686) (http://postimage.org/image/u15o23hw7/)

 whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 28, 2011, 06:31:15 AM
Buggery-bollox Shrugs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 28, 2011, 06:42:44 AM
Even now, late in October, we have a flight from Antalya coming in at 01:15 with 175 bags on it! Wonder if I'll get a final hour's overtime?

I wonder how many bags made it to the carousel...?  whistle:

From now until Christmas he will be selling golf clubs at a pub near you  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on October 28, 2011, 07:38:29 AM
Buggery-bollox Shrugs:

Do keep up at the back

Quote
I wonder how many bags made it to the carousel...?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 28, 2011, 01:40:57 PM
Phone call received - "would I like to do a few week over Chrstmas".  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on October 28, 2011, 01:42:54 PM
I trust you said YES!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 28, 2011, 01:44:12 PM
I trust you said YES!

Depends how the golf clubs sell...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on October 28, 2011, 01:46:36 PM
I trust you said YES!

Depends how the golf clubs sell...

 lol: lol: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 28, 2011, 02:05:28 PM
I've just received a text from one of my colleagues who started his 12 hour shift at 8pm yesterday. He mentioned that he eats hot things so yesterday I took some Dorset Naga chiles in. I popped 2 in mouth, crunched them up and swalled them - obviously not wanting to lose face in front of the others, he did the same.

 Explode: Explode: Explode:

These things are damned hot and I was suffering, but his text revealed that he spent the entire night dashing to the toilet and leaking small dribbles of lava  ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 28, 2011, 02:09:39 PM
AAahhhh a clever masterplan .......kill off the rest of the workforce  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 28, 2011, 02:35:42 PM
AAahhhh a clever masterplan .......kill off the rest of the workforce  rubschin:

 rubschin: rubschin: rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on November 02, 2011, 12:27:03 PM
Phone call. Could I work Saturday and Sunday...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on November 02, 2011, 12:27:48 PM
Phone call. Could I work Saturday and Sunday...


 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on November 02, 2011, 12:51:33 PM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on November 02, 2011, 01:25:44 PM
^^^Wot they did^^^
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 02, 2011, 01:27:05 PM
They're just out to ruin your drinking plans  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on November 02, 2011, 04:13:56 PM
They're just out to ruin your drinking plans  whistle:

I'll be working 5am - 5pm, so still time for Young's after  8)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on November 07, 2011, 08:31:20 AM
In the foreground we have a Swissport numpty who has shed his load.  At 16 seconds in, I'm pretty sure yours truly enters screen right, driving all nice and sensible, like  ;D

Gatwick baggage handling (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjzuTqRNsKY#ws)

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 07, 2011, 08:41:18 AM
No regal way as you passed by then  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 07, 2011, 08:46:15 AM
No regal wave as you passed by then  lol:

He stopped long enough to shout a bit more than "Na na nu narna" though.  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on November 07, 2011, 08:46:56 AM
Rubbernecker...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on November 10, 2011, 03:46:21 PM
Phone call - can I work the weekend...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on November 10, 2011, 03:49:55 PM
Phone call - can I work the weekend...

More Youngs tokens.......... :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on November 10, 2011, 03:52:15 PM
Phone call - can I work the weekend...

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on November 10, 2011, 03:52:42 PM
Eggcelento  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on November 10, 2011, 03:59:40 PM
06:00-21:00 on Sunday is taking the piss a bit, don't you think?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on November 10, 2011, 04:01:01 PM
06:00-21:00 on Sunday is taking the piss a bit, don't you think?


Think of the money...........
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on November 10, 2011, 04:04:17 PM
06:00-21:00 on Sunday is taking the piss a bit, don't you think?


Yes but can you afford to be picky?

By showing willing you have the best chance of permanent work or at least being the first they call.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on November 10, 2011, 04:09:11 PM
Bear in mind I don't finish Saturday until 2100. So by the time I get home it's 2200ish...and then up again 0400ish...

Ho hum, at least the pub will still be open when I get back Sunday night. 
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on November 10, 2011, 04:10:51 PM
06:00-21:00 on Sunday is taking the piss a bit, don't you think?

Best not let Miss D drink you under the train table again tomorrow then...  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on November 10, 2011, 04:13:47 PM
Bear in mind I don't finish Saturday until 2100. So by the time I get home it's 2200ish...and then up again 0400ish...

Ho hum, at least the pub will still be open when I get back Sunday night.

 rubschin: Given your heritage you could end up running the place.



Errr ~ You did mention you had Irish ancestors as I recall.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on November 10, 2011, 04:25:45 PM
Well remembered that hound!

I'm not working until 1100 on Saturday, so a few "social light ales" tomorrow won't be a problem and I should avoid a train/TMR collision.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: tel on November 10, 2011, 04:33:02 PM
My last Youngs was last Friday, and that was in the Nightingale!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 10, 2011, 07:15:56 PM
06:00-21:00 on Sunday is taking the piss a bit, don't you think?

Best not let Miss D drink you under the train table again tomorrow then...  whistle:

I am still in a bad mood ...drink I fear would not help  redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on November 10, 2011, 07:18:02 PM
 Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn: Popcorn:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on November 10, 2011, 07:29:01 PM
06:00-21:00 on Sunday is taking the piss a bit, don't you think?

Best not let Miss D drink you under the train table again tomorrow then...  whistle:

I am still in a bad mood ...drink I fear would not help  redface:

Have a drink you don't fear then

Are you feeling rabid  scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on November 10, 2011, 07:31:16 PM
06:00-21:00 on Sunday is taking the piss a bit, don't you think?

Best not let Miss D drink you under the train table again tomorrow then...  whistle:

I am still in a bad mood ...drink I fear would not help  redface:

Have a drink you don't fear then

Are you feeling rabid  scared2:

Hydrophobophobia!  eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 10, 2011, 08:11:08 PM
You lot make me foam at the mouth  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on November 10, 2011, 08:15:52 PM
Charming picture noooo: noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on November 10, 2011, 08:19:44 PM
You lot make me foam at the mouth  noooo:

 scared:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on November 10, 2011, 08:24:52 PM
 shutup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on December 09, 2011, 04:03:17 PM
The agency have just rung, I'm back on 16th - until 3rd January. Every day  eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on December 09, 2011, 04:05:10 PM
 :thumbsup:  Most excellent!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on December 09, 2011, 04:10:50 PM
More beer tokens............. :thumbsup:


Still in shorts........ rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on December 09, 2011, 04:12:24 PM
More beer tokens............. :thumbsup:


Still in shorts........ rubschin:

Oh yes!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on December 09, 2011, 04:19:17 PM
The agency have just rung, I'm back on 16th - until 3rd January. Every day  eeek:

Even Christmas Day?  eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on December 09, 2011, 04:21:36 PM
The agency have just rung, I'm back on 16th - until 3rd January. Every day  eeek:

Even Christmas Day?  eeek:

As far as I am aware, yes.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on December 09, 2011, 04:27:24 PM
The agency have just rung, I'm back on 16th - until 3rd January. Every day  eeek:

Even Christmas Day?  eeek:

As far as I am aware, yes.


Well ...... What else is there to do? Fvck all on the telly that you haven't seen before. Roads will be nice and quiet. Personally I always used to work Christmas and Boxing Day .... Double time and a day off in lieu. :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on December 09, 2011, 04:42:07 PM
So no  eastdrink048
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on December 09, 2011, 04:43:26 PM
So no  eastdrink048


Nah ...... You can do that any day.

The only point to getting pissed on Christmas Day is to blot out what is going on around you. Easier on the pocket to go to work if you ask me.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on December 09, 2011, 04:46:19 PM
I am cooking dinner in Winchester that day angel1

Wonder if JOM is around for a pint over the season  rubschin:

He could meet my improbably busty great niece rubschin:

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on December 09, 2011, 08:12:44 PM
I am cooking dinner in Winchester that day angel1

Wonder if JOM is around for a pint over the season  rubschin:

He could meet my improbably busty great niece rubschin:

I like breast meat

I should be

I like breast meat (will you be stopping at sisters to look after Jim like)  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on December 09, 2011, 08:14:20 PM
 angry041:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on December 18, 2011, 05:11:24 PM
0730-2030 tomorrow. I wonder what nice presents will get smashed to smithereens...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2011, 05:37:39 PM
0730-2030 tomorrow. I wonder what nice presents will get smashed to smithereens...

 ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on December 19, 2011, 10:29:12 AM
So I turned up in shorts and there was much shaking of heads - "can't wear them - elf n' safety, like". "You never gave me any trousers in the first place" I remonstrated. Five minutes later, a new pair of trousers are sourced. Sorted.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on December 31, 2011, 07:02:24 PM
The money dog. Soooo...

Yesterday the customs/Border Agency lot descend on the bags I'm tipping at reclaim, with the "money dog". I thought it was a joke, but no... the spaniel goes beserk and they open the bag. Stuffed full of £50s and £20s. Eeeeeek!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on December 31, 2011, 07:05:15 PM
YOu ought to have nicked it earlier like
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on December 31, 2011, 08:35:45 PM
But that would be criminal, Nick.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 01, 2012, 11:08:24 AM
I've been here 4 hours and am yet to lift a bag...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on January 01, 2012, 11:09:15 AM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on January 01, 2012, 11:17:15 AM
I've been here 4 hours and am yet to lift a bag...

Lazy bastard...  ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 01, 2012, 11:20:39 AM
I've been here 4 hours and am yet to lift a bag...

Yoiu been promoted ?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 01, 2012, 11:52:38 AM
All is quiet...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on January 01, 2012, 11:54:52 AM
Lots of plane crashes? rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 01, 2012, 12:05:43 PM
5 hours...still nothing :-)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 01, 2012, 12:07:26 PM
You  could play with your own  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 01, 2012, 12:09:30 PM
And the coffe machine is broken still...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 02, 2012, 08:30:12 PM
I was told that the winter / Christmas flights were generally "lighter" and fewer. However no-one seems to have told EasyJet this and they are running a near-on full summer schedule. With the added bonus of ski luggage. Every plane is packed. Eight planes I did today had over 160 bags on them. I'm more knackered now than I was during the peak in summer.

Austerity? Recession? Can't see it from where I am.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on January 02, 2012, 08:32:19 PM
Double time or compo  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on January 02, 2012, 08:33:11 PM
I was told that the winter / Christmas flights were generally "lighter" and fewer. However no-one seems to have told EasyJet this and they are running a near-on full summer schedule. With the added bonus of ski luggage. Every plane is packed. Eight planes I did today had over 160 bags on them. I'm more knackered now than I was during the peak in summer.

Austerity? Recession? Can't see it from where I am.

You were complaining about sitting on yer arse yesterday....  ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on January 02, 2012, 08:34:47 PM
He is a grumbler noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 02, 2012, 08:34:48 PM
He's a bloke...never happy like  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 02, 2012, 08:52:29 PM
I chose my words carefully yesterday - I said I had "yet to lift a bag". The heoooge plane I was working on for 3 hours was loaded with containers and cargo - not a single bag to be lifted. After that was Air Fungus - again containers.

Do try and keep up at the back ;-)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on January 03, 2012, 08:18:34 AM
I chose my words carefully yesterday - I said I had "yet to lift a bag". The heoooge plane I was working on for 3 hours was loaded with containers and cargo - not a single bag to be lifted. After that was Air Fungus - again containers.

Do try and keep up at the back ;-)

Oh a trick question....  ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on January 03, 2012, 08:24:42 AM
No, a trick answer rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on January 03, 2012, 08:34:39 AM
No, a trick answer rubschin:

Fresh from a cracker either way....  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 03, 2012, 07:56:04 PM
That was without doubt the most unpleasant 12 hours I have spent at the airport. Time for a beer...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on January 03, 2012, 07:58:42 PM
That was without doubt the most unpleasant 12 hours I have spent at the airport. Time for a beer...

Not as bad as the 12 hours I spent at Lagos airport - I can guarantee you that my lad....  scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on January 03, 2012, 08:00:22 PM
Did they make you werk, like happy100
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on January 03, 2012, 08:03:32 PM
Did they make you werk, like happy100

No.  ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on January 03, 2012, 08:05:23 PM
Mong
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on January 03, 2012, 08:07:26 PM
OIC  redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 03, 2012, 08:13:12 PM
Trying to load 30 feckin surfboards in the wind we had earlier was nothing short of dangerous. I nearly got blown across the bleddy runway.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on January 03, 2012, 08:15:10 PM
I got stranded at Lagos for 12 hours by British Caledonian - bastards!  cussing:

I was in fear of my life...  scared2:

Surfboards my arse...  ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 03, 2012, 08:19:34 PM
Ya big Jessie!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on January 03, 2012, 08:20:17 PM
Ya big Jessie!

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on January 03, 2012, 08:20:41 PM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: beerhead on January 03, 2012, 09:25:51 PM
Stuck overnight in a cargo shed at Calcutta airport with a severe case of Delhi Belly, now that's truly horrible !
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on January 03, 2012, 09:29:41 PM
At least you can shit on the floor and everyone sees it as normal  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on January 03, 2012, 09:48:28 PM
At least you can shit on the floor and everyone sees it as normal  :thumbsup:

As long as you wipe with the left hand...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on January 03, 2012, 09:56:28 PM
 scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on January 03, 2012, 09:58:22 PM
Unless you're a shit stirrer...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 04, 2012, 12:04:36 AM
I nearly got blown across the bleddy runway.

A bit cold for that sort of thing I should have thought.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on January 04, 2012, 03:45:35 AM
I nearly got blown across the bleddy runway.

A bit cold for that sort of thing I should have thought.


 drumroll:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 06, 2012, 08:23:12 PM
Soooo...it appears we have picked up a contract with another carrier - another 45+ flights per day. That's just under a 1/3 of our current amount. Logic says we will need an extra 1/3 or so full time staff...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on January 06, 2012, 08:24:23 PM
Soooo...it appears we have picked up a contract with another carrier - another 45+ flights per day. That's just under a 1/3 of our current amount. Logic says we will need an extra 1/3 or so full time staff...

Good news!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on January 06, 2012, 08:26:07 PM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on January 06, 2012, 08:46:05 PM
Soooo...it appears we have picked up a contract with another carrier - another 45+ flights per day. That's just under a 1/3 of our current amount. Logic says we will need an extra 1/3 or so full time staff...

Or call on people they've "employed" before and ask do they want to do a few shifts. No worries about holiday pay, sick pay etc. I really hope you're right though
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 05, 2012, 04:59:19 PM
And so it all begins again...

My new shift pattern would appear to be 6 days on, 3 days off.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 05, 2012, 05:03:22 PM
Think of the Young's vouchers   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 06, 2012, 07:29:20 AM
And so it all begins again...

My new shift pattern would appear to be 6 days on, 3 days off.

Congratulations you!  :thumbsup:

Quote from: TMR's Liver
Thank fuck for that!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: barmisspah? on March 08, 2012, 01:04:49 PM
Too much to hope that it's permanent?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 08, 2012, 02:08:47 PM
If I keep my nose clean, then it should be made permanent Octoberish.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 08, 2012, 02:20:19 PM
What about the rest of you  sick2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 08, 2012, 02:32:39 PM
If I keep my nose clean, then it should be made permanent Octoberish.

Is it detachable at the moment...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 08, 2012, 06:44:48 PM
If I keep my nose clean, then it should be made permanent Octoberish.

Is it detachable at the moment...?  rubschin:

 noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 08, 2012, 07:55:40 PM
King Missile - Detachable Penis (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDss8V2OME4#)

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: tel on March 10, 2012, 11:23:58 AM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-17324844 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-17324844)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 10, 2012, 11:30:49 AM
[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-17324844[/url] ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-17324844[/url])


TMR will be knocking ski gear out in the pub this week....  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 10, 2012, 02:59:00 PM
The sun's out and it's bleddy hot here. Right, last 4 hours...then beer time.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 12, 2012, 02:27:42 AM
One of the planes we handle is an ATR72 - small twin prop job, maximum 72 passengers. Usually you get about 40 bags. Today, however, we had one which had 68 bags to be loaded. And that isn't easy - the average small hatchback probably has more loading space than this plane does. Still, we got them all in...a few may have been a bit squashed...

Last job of the night was from Larnaca - 134 bags. Obviously the Cyprus baggage loaders are less careful than us, as when I opened the front hold, the stench of vinegar was overpowering and a bag containing  Sarson's best was the culprit. Do people really take vinegar on holiday? Is Cyprus devoid of non-brewed condiment?  Very odd...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 12, 2012, 05:36:28 AM
One of the planes we handle is an ATR72 - small twin prop job, maximum 72 passengers. Usually you get about 40 bags. Today, however, we had one which had 68 bags to be loaded. And that isn't easy - the average small hatchback probably has more loading space than this plane does. Still, we got them all in...a few may have been a bit squashed...

Last job of the night was from Larnaca - 134 bags. Obviously the Cyprus baggage loaders are less careful than us, as when I opened the front hold, the stench of vinegar was overpowering and a bag containing  Sarson's best was the culprit. Do people really take vinegar on holiday? Is Cyprus devoid of non-brewed condiment?  Very odd...

It was prolly a bottle of the local collapso....  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on March 12, 2012, 08:11:35 AM
On the subject of what one can't buy "abroad"
A good friend (and ex manager) of mine with 4 children always used to drive to the South of France for their annual camping holiday. Realising that the children were getting bigger he first invested in an Espace and then a roof box.

As we worked together we frequently stopped near his place on our journeys  home for a pint and one evening he told me he had some papers at home which I would need whilst he was away. We got to his house to find his wife had got the roof box out of the garage and loaded it ready for the early morning start planned for the next day. It was on the front lawn next to the car.
He went mad! "How the fvck do you expect me to lift that onto the roof of the Espace?" he demanded.

Soooooo Ever helpful I offered to help but we couldn't lift the damn thing so the decision was made to unload it and fit it to the car and then reload it.

When we unpacked the bloody thing we found she had packed into it, along with a dozen tins of baked beans, tea bags, 6 boxes of cornflakes and sundry other foodstuff sufficient for a family of 6 for a fortnight, 24 litre bottles of "Evian" water ..... "Because you can't trust the water in France".

His language, as he pointed out the labels clearly stated that "Evian" is bottled in France, nearly led to the divorce courts!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 12, 2012, 08:18:12 AM
On the subject of what one can't buy "abroad"
A good friend (and ex manager) of mine with 4 children always used to drive to the South of France for their annual camping holiday. Realising that the children were getting bigger he first invested in an Espace and then a roof box.

As we worked together we frequently stopped near his place on our journeys  home for a pint and one evening he told me he had some papers at home which I would need whilst he was away. We got to his house to find his wife had got the roof box out of the garage and loaded it ready for the early morning start planned for the next day. It was on the front lawn next to the car.
He went mad! "How the fvck do you expect me to lift that onto the roof of the Espace?" he demanded.

Soooooo Ever helpful I offered to help but we couldn't lift the damn thing so the decision was made to unload it and fit it to the car and then reload it.

When we unpacked the bloody thing we found she had packed into it, along with a dozen tins of baked beans, tea bags, 6 boxes of cornflakes and sundry other foodstuff sufficient for a family of 6 for a fortnight, 24 litre bottles of "Evian" water ..... "Because you can't trust the water in France".

His language, as he pointed out the labels clearly stated that "Evian" is bottled in France, nearly led to the divorce courts!

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 12, 2012, 11:53:20 AM
 lol: lol: Are they still married to each other?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on March 12, 2012, 12:37:08 PM
Yes they are ~ They came to visit us a couple of weeks ago in fact.

They are Minor's Godparents.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 18, 2012, 06:51:05 PM
The small push-back tugs weight 16 tonnes and are made from very thick metal. Including the doors. Thus, when a door springs back on its hinges and clumps you on the forehead you bleed lots :-(
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 18, 2012, 06:53:11 PM
Compo  :thumbsup:

Pics please  Popcorn:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 18, 2012, 07:45:38 PM
I'm werkin', like...far too busy to post piccies.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 18, 2012, 07:49:16 PM
 Liar:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 18, 2012, 07:50:50 PM
Oh dear ......the Dangerous Brothers are not having a good weekend  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 18, 2012, 07:54:55 PM
 sad24:

My right hand is twice as big my left hand  sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on March 18, 2012, 07:56:06 PM
 noooo:  A lens has fell out of your specs.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 18, 2012, 07:57:12 PM
Can yopu pop over and kiss it better? eyes:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 18, 2012, 09:00:22 PM
sad24:

My right hand is twice as big my left hand  sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.nationalgeographic.com%2Fnews%2F2008%2F11%2Fimages%2F081112-crab-photo_big.jpg&hash=fda5ea58aee2b316460a48f55451519a)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 18, 2012, 09:11:31 PM
Yes. But the other way round  sad24:  I showed the svelte redhead earlier and she nearly threw up  sad24:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 18, 2012, 10:17:26 PM
Yes. But the other way round  sad24:  I showed the svelte redhead earlier and she nearly threw up  sad24:

You should have showed her your hand instead.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 18, 2012, 10:23:27 PM
 cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 19, 2012, 05:49:03 AM
Yes. But the other way round  sad24:  I showed the svelte redhead earlier and she nearly threw up  sad24:

You should have showed her your hand instead.

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 20, 2012, 02:39:32 AM
AWR. What a pile of cack  cussing:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 20, 2012, 05:48:32 AM
AWR. What a pile of cack  cussing:

Shrugs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 20, 2012, 07:22:07 AM
I'd imagine he is referring to Agency Worker Regulations  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 20, 2012, 05:22:46 PM
I'd imagine he is referring to Agency Worker Regulations  rubschin:

Correct Miss D.  The company is worried that because I basically do the full job (apart from pushing planes back and talking to the pilot) then under the AWR they will have to pay me the same as the permanent staff. But that wouldn't be for 12 weeks and they are already talking about taking us on permanently anyway. So they have decided to simply restrict what we do for the next 12 weeks so that we aren't comparable to th permanent staff. Utter madness  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 20, 2012, 05:26:51 PM
I'd imagine he is referring to Agency Worker Regulations  rubschin:


Correct Miss D.  The company is worried that because I basically do the full job (apart from pushing planes back and talking to the pilot) then under the AWR they will have to pay me the same as the permanent staff. But that wouldn't be for 12 weeks and they are already talking about taking us on permanently anyway. So they have decided to simply restrict what we do for the next 12 weeks so that we aren't comparable to th permanent staff. Utter madness  noooo:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pedal-car-toys.com%2Fpedal-plane%2Fred-baron-pedal-plane-toy.jpg&hash=61bdbe4af8db18113bcfb6057cb8eddf)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 20, 2012, 05:31:59 PM
I'd imagine he is referring to Agency Worker Regulations  rubschin:


Correct Miss D.  The company is worried that because I basically do the full job (apart from pushing planes back and talking to the pilot) then under the AWR they will have to pay me the same as the permanent staff. But that wouldn't be for 12 weeks and they are already talking about taking us on permanently anyway. So they have decided to simply restrict what we do for the next 12 weeks so that we aren't comparable to th permanent staff. Utter madness  noooo:


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pedal-car-toys.com%2Fpedal-plane%2Fred-baron-pedal-plane-toy.jpg&hash=61bdbe4af8db18113bcfb6057cb8eddf[/url])



 ::)














 Wankah:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 20, 2012, 05:32:39 PM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on March 20, 2012, 05:33:05 PM
 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 redface: redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 23, 2012, 09:32:49 AM
Penetrated deep into BA territory this morning - stand 553, hitherto the sole domain of BA. We were flanked either side by scowling BA ground crew - they hate us being on "their stands". The hatred is currently exacerbated as very strong rumours abound that we will be taking over all BA's ground handling some time in April; and that means lots of redundancies/early retirement for them. Oh - and it looks like I will be offered a permanent position in about 10 weeks time!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 23, 2012, 09:35:34 AM
Penetrated deep into BA territory this morning - stand 553, hitherto the sole domain of BA. We were flanked either side by scowling BA ground crew - they hate us being on "their stands". The hatred is currently exacerbated as very strong rumours abound that we will be taking over all BA's ground handling some time in April; and that means lots of redundancies/early retirement for them. Oh - and it looks like I will be offered a permanent position in about 10 weeks time!


 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 23, 2012, 09:44:44 AM
Sounds like a cause to celebrate  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 26, 2012, 01:29:06 AM
14 1/2 hours on shift is - it must be said - more than enough. But the weird thing is that the time seems to pass so quickly. I know that when I get up later everything will ache and that's mainly my fault for going at it hammer and tongs - those that have been there longer tend to dally too much for my liking - but I see it as a wage and a free workout, I think possibly I have a surfeit of energy as a result of the previous 25 years in an office job. And another thing - a cold beer tastes reeeeeal good after it. Oh, and I managed to nearly mangle a drug sniffer dog today; I lobbed a nice heavy bag off the lorry and whilst it was in mid-air I spotted the dog out of the corner of my eye, charging down the luggage belt. The impact made it yelp a bit!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 26, 2012, 04:36:11 AM
Two causes for celebration then. Excellent news on the job front. :thumbsup:  I will make you a nice cup of tea.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 26, 2012, 05:35:49 AM
14 1/2 hours on shift is - it must be said - more than enough. But the weird thing is that the time seems to pass so quickly. I know that when I get up later everything will ache and that's mainly my fault for going at it hammer and tongs - those that have been there longer tend to dally too much for my liking - but I see it as a wage and a free workout, I think possibly I have a surfeit of energy as a result of the previous 25 years in an office job. And another thing - a cold beer tastes reeeeeal good after it. Oh, and I managed to nearly mangle a drug sniffer dog today; I lobbed a nice heavy bag off the lorry and whilst it was in mid-air I spotted the dog out of the corner of my eye, charging down the luggage belt. The impact made it yelp a bit!

Was the sniffer dog onto you...?  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 26, 2012, 05:57:59 AM
14 1/2 hours on shift is - it must be said - more than enough. But the weird thing is that the time seems to pass so quickly. I know that when I get up later everything will ache and that's mainly my fault for going at it hammer and tongs - those that have been there longer tend to dally too much for my liking - but I see it as a wage and a free workout, I think possibly I have a surfeit of energy as a result of the previous 25 years in an office job. And another thing - a cold beer tastes reeeeeal good after it. Oh, and I managed to nearly mangle a drug sniffer dog today; I lobbed a nice heavy bag off the lorry and whilst it was in mid-air I spotted the dog out of the corner of my eye, charging down the luggage belt. The impact made it yelp a bit!

Was the sniffer dog onto you...?  Thumbs:

Those rolies he smokes........... rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 26, 2012, 06:01:58 AM
14 1/2 hours on shift is - it must be said - more than enough. But the weird thing is that the time seems to pass so quickly. I know that when I get up later everything will ache and that's mainly my fault for going at it hammer and tongs - those that have been there longer tend to dally too much for my liking - but I see it as a wage and a free workout, I think possibly I have a surfeit of energy as a result of the previous 25 years in an office job. And another thing - a cold beer tastes reeeeeal good after it. Oh, and I managed to nearly mangle a drug sniffer dog today; I lobbed a nice heavy bag off the lorry and whilst it was in mid-air I spotted the dog out of the corner of my eye, charging down the luggage belt. The impact made it yelp a bit!

Was the sniffer dog onto you...?  Thumbs:

Those rolies he smokes........... rubschin:

He prolly thought TMR was one of those toys they hide drugs in like....  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on March 26, 2012, 06:21:13 AM
 lol:  lol:  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 26, 2012, 08:19:30 AM
14 1/2 hours on shift is - it must be said - more than enough. But the weird thing is that the time seems to pass so quickly. I know that when I get up later everything will ache and that's mainly my fault for going at it hammer and tongs - those that have been there longer tend to dally too much for my liking - but I see it as a wage and a free workout, I think possibly I have a surfeit of energy as a result of the previous 25 years in an office job. And another thing - a cold beer tastes reeeeeal good after it. Oh, and I managed to nearly mangle a drug sniffer dog today; I lobbed a nice heavy bag off the lorry and whilst it was in mid-air I spotted the dog out of the corner of my eye, charging down the luggage belt. The impact made it yelp a bit!

Was the sniffer dog onto you...?  Thumbs:

Those rolies he smokes........... rubschin:

He prolly thought TMR was one of those toys they hide drugs in like....  whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:

Or what they get given as a reward when they find something.

"Clever Snoopy for finding the bag of heroin, here's the squeaky TMR to chew on"  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 26, 2012, 09:08:23 AM
Oh good grief if the experience  is anything like the clip from a different thread I will be having nightmares again tonight...

Dog and Helium Voice (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UaFOIboH2E#)

 Yargh:

On the other hand a squeaky TMR being chewed on would clean the dogs teeth in a very through and eco friendly way. rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 27, 2012, 01:40:28 AM
I am now on a "permanent weekends" shift, which sounds terrible, but isn't; Friday and Saturday 05:00-15:30 then 15:00-01:30 Sunday and Monday. In effect I work 2 days, have a day off, then work another 2 days and have another 3 days off. With the easyJet "Summer Schedule" now operating, it should be easy to pick up overtime on all those 4 days.

And as I leave at 15:30 on Saturday and am not back until 15:00 Sunday it means I can still have a good belly full of Young's on Saturday night and still have enough recovery time for Sunday's shift.

On Wednesday we start our new contact with FlyBe. This should be fun as we have had scant training and the aircraft are different - Embraer 195s and Dash-8 400s. Horrible shitty little things that even "a dwarf" ( ::)) like me will struggle to squeeze into the holds. I predict utter chaos - we barely coped today and the FlyBe stuff if another 35 flights per day, going up to 61 per day within 6 weeks.

And then there's the BA 737s to come...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 27, 2012, 07:10:59 AM
I am  flying out again on the Mon 11th June ...but 14.50 so a bit too early for you then  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 27, 2012, 08:40:06 AM
I am now on a "permanent weekends" shift, which sounds terrible, but isn't; Friday and Saturday 05:00-15:30 then 15:00-01:30 Sunday and Monday. In effect I work 2 days, have a day off, then work another 2 days and have another 3 days off. With the easyJet "Summer Schedule" now operating, it should be easy to pick up overtime on all those 4 days.

And as I leave at 15:30 on Saturday and am not back until 15:00 Sunday it means I can still have a good belly full of Young's on Saturday night and still have enough recovery time for Sunday's shift.

On Wednesday we start our new contact with FlyBe. This should be fun as we have had scant training and the aircraft are different - Embraer 195s and Dash-8 400s. Horrible shitty little things that even "a dwarf" ( ::)) like me will struggle to squeeze into the holds. I predict utter chaos - we barely coped today and the FlyBe stuff if another 35 flights per day, going up to 61 per day within 6 weeks.

And then there's the BA 737s to come...

Whew I am safe it would seem.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 27, 2012, 09:50:48 AM
I am  flying out again on the Mon 11th June ...but 14.50 so a bit too early for you then  lol:

SleazyJet?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 27, 2012, 10:12:13 AM
I am  flying out again on the Mon 11th June ...but 14.50 so a bit too early for you then  lol:

SleazyJet?

Don't tell him Miss D!  scared2:

My case had teeny-tiny shoe prints all over it....  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 27, 2012, 11:06:56 AM
I am  flying out again on the Mon 11th June ...but 14.50 so a bit too early for you then  lol:

SleazyJet?

Oh yes - to Bodrum  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 27, 2012, 12:26:15 PM
My last flight this morning was from Bodrum. It had only 20 bags on it :-). There'll be a few more than that when you go. I'll put in for overtime, so I can make sure your bags are looked after. 
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 27, 2012, 12:52:25 PM
Oh , you don't have to earn extra money on my behalf honey  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 27, 2012, 01:08:47 PM
Oh , you don't have to earn extra money on my behalf honey  lol:

That's a first for a woman.......... whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 27, 2012, 04:54:30 PM
Overtime tomorrow 05:00-15:00...and the first day of FlyBe...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 28, 2012, 09:24:56 AM
Embraer 195 planes are feckin' horrible to work in. That is all.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 28, 2012, 09:28:43 AM
Embraer 195 planes are feckin' horrible to work in. That is all.

Lucky you are so short eh?  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 28, 2012, 09:45:01 AM
Even Ronnie Corbett would find them small...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 28, 2012, 09:55:51 AM
Even Ronnie Corbett would find them small... and I look up to him...

 whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 30, 2012, 06:45:20 PM
As expected, anyone with at least half a brain (and that includes BM) has suddenly realised that 40 extra flights and only 10 more people is not conducive to planes leaving when they should. Hence overtime aplenty. 14 hour days for my next 3. Corking - lots of overtime at no extra petrol cost.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 31, 2012, 04:16:58 AM
As expected, anyone with at least half a brain (and that includes BM) has suddenly realised that 40 extra flights and only 10 more people is not conducive to planes leaving when they should. Hence overtime aplenty. 14 hour days for my next 3. Corking - lots of overtime at no extra petrol cost.

 Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 31, 2012, 06:24:32 AM
Sorry to hear you are feeling poorly though  happy100

Those long shifts much be a bit less appealing today.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 31, 2012, 10:53:16 AM
Sorry to hear you are feeling poorly though  happy100

Those long shifts much be a bit less appealing today.

 lol:
They are all missing your gems today.  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 31, 2012, 11:43:21 AM
Thank you sweety - I know I could depend on you  cloud9:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 01, 2012, 03:05:11 PM
Did you sort that bag out TMR? [taps nose conspiratorially]
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 01, 2012, 03:06:25 PM
I see it left 36 minutes late - due to 'baggage handler tardiness' no doubt...  ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pastis on April 01, 2012, 04:25:40 PM
APD up 8% today ... beware the disgruntledness  Banghead
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 01, 2012, 04:51:19 PM
They were talking about ways to get around paying increased APD  if going long haul and Simon Calder was suggesting building in a stop over .

 whacky115

So you take a whole heap longer and perhaps have a overnight stay somewhere else to save £7 increase ...I must be missing something  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 01, 2012, 06:27:58 PM
No idea why it was that late departing, BM, I can only think that they had to off a passenger and their bag.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 01, 2012, 08:15:00 PM
No idea why it was that late departing, BM, I can only think that they had to off a passenger and their bag.

Arrived 20 mins early.... Shrugs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 01, 2012, 08:23:46 PM
Favourable winds, prolly.

They've just asked me if I want to stay on until 3am. My response wasn't polite!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 01, 2012, 09:21:26 PM
No idea why it was that late departing, BM, I can only think that they had to off a passenger and their bag.
 
 eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 02, 2012, 01:38:00 AM
Not quite that drastic DS!

Although some passengers would deserve it; yesterday, after we had loaded 168 bags/skis onto a Grenoble flight, the news came through that 2 passengers has somehow lost their passports twixt chreck-in and the boarding gate - so they couldn't fly and we had to get their bags off. And that is a total pain in the arse as you have to unpack the holds to find the right ones, checking individual bags for the right name and sequence number. Invariably, they are always right at the back of the holds - never the first ones out.

And then you have to re-pack them all again. The Captains are always good though - they ensure the other passengers know the reason for the delayed departure and in TMR's world the responsible passengers would be taken to the side of the plane - in full view of the other passengers - and gently shot in the back of the head by us.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 02, 2012, 05:25:02 AM
Not quite that drastic DS!

Although some passengers would deserve it; yesterday, after we had loaded 168 bags/skis onto a Grenoble flight, the news came through that 2 passengers has somehow lost their passports twixt chreck-in and the boarding gate - so they couldn't fly and we had to get their bags off. And that is a total pain in the arse as you have to unpack the holds to find the right ones, checking individual bags for the right name and sequence number. Invariably, they are always right at the back of the holds - never the first ones out.

And then you have to re-pack them all again. The Captains are always good though - they ensure the other passengers know the reason for the delayed departure and in TMR's world the responsible passengers would be taken to the side of the plane - in full view of the other passengers - and gently shot in the back of the head by us.

Then dowsed in Jet 100 and incinerated along with their luggage....  eveilgrin:

After you'd checked the ski boot size of course...  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 02, 2012, 05:49:09 AM
Prolly left it in the shops when you have to show your boarding pass  before buying something  Banghead Banghead Banghead

It would save a lot of lost passport scenarios  if when checking in you were just giving a simple green or red ticket for inside or outside of EU and it then doesn't matter a fig if you lose that .

It's a piggin nuisance having to get your boarding pass out all the time which is invariably stuck in your passport , though I have never lost mine or caused inconvenience or been late  angel1
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 02, 2012, 05:57:25 AM
Prolly left it in the shops when you have to show your boarding pass  before buying something  Banghead Banghead Banghead

It would save a lot of lost passport scenarios  if when checking in you were just giving a simple green or red ticket for inside or outside of EU and it then doesn't matter a fig if you lose that .

It's a piggin nuisance having to get your boarding pass out all the time which is invariably stuck in your passport , though I have never lost mine or caused inconvenience or been late  angel1

Good points well made!  Thumbs:

Why do you have to show a boarding pass to buy a fecking newspaper FFS?  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 02, 2012, 05:59:41 AM
It's bizarre  noooo:

As is why do airports have the worst P.A systems going ?

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 02, 2012, 07:23:06 PM
Barely contained chaos here, thanks to the froggie ATC strike. Could be a long night...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 02, 2012, 07:24:56 PM
Ah yes, the traditional Frog strike. I feel an invasion coming on  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 03, 2012, 01:26:12 AM
I was sent out to stand 110 to unload a plane - just me and one of the newbies. I reversed the lorry up to the front hold when suddenly the cockpit window opened and the Captain popped his head out. "Are you here to unload this?"

"Yup"

"Ah - do me a favour and come back in five minutes, I haven't told the passengers that this flight has just been cancelled".

Didn't envy him! Imagine actually being on board, all loaded up and ready to roll only to be told at the eleventh hour that you're not going anywhere.

Vive la France!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 14, 2012, 02:43:23 PM
I finish at 15:15 today...so one of the numpty job allocators puts me on a job that arrived at 15:05. Utter cockwash.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 14, 2012, 03:03:41 PM
I finish at 15:15 today...so one of the numpty job allocators puts me on a job that arrived at 15:05. Utter cockwash.

Quadruple time!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 14, 2012, 07:37:42 PM
Erm...no. I wish! But it does appear that we've picked up the BA contract - a permanent position looms...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 14, 2012, 07:42:05 PM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on April 14, 2012, 07:47:44 PM
Erm...no. I wish! But it does appear that we've picked up the BA contract - a permanent position looms...

 :thumbsup:            more beer tokens.........
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on April 14, 2012, 09:52:53 PM
Top man TMR  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 15, 2012, 06:08:06 AM
Erm...no. I wish! But it does appear that we've picked up the BA contract - a permanent position looms...

Yay!  Party001:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 15, 2012, 06:46:51 AM
Well done you  - bag tastic  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 15, 2012, 05:24:08 PM
Well done you  - bag tastic  :thumbsup:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wot they all said.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 16, 2012, 12:40:36 PM
Carnage here. Look at the news!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 16, 2012, 12:43:01 PM
Carnage here. Look at the news!

Coool!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 16, 2012, 12:43:21 PM
Are you at Gatwick Airport? Are you affected by the issues in this story? Send us your experiences using the form below.

Send your pictures and videos to yourpics@bbc.co.uk or text them to 61124 (UK) or +44 7624 800 100 (International). If you have a large file you can upload here.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 16, 2012, 12:58:57 PM
I thought it was odd - driving here I couldn't see anything going up or coming down! For me, it's important to know which runway they are using - it makes a big difference in terms of how long you have if you want to sneak out for a ciggie.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 16, 2012, 01:02:06 PM
I thought it was odd - driving here I couldn't see anything going up or coming down! For me, it's important to know which runway they are using - it makes a big difference in terms of how long you have if you want to sneak out for a ciggie.


http://www.flightradar24.com/ (http://www.flightradar24.com/) shows an interesting picture!  inane:

Thass the problem with only having one runway...  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 16, 2012, 01:14:39 PM
I'm currently sitting in McDonalds enjoying my BigMac staff meal £2.29. Passengers keep interrupting me asking silly questions. Bastards. The plane in question, an A330, reg G-VSXY (Mademoiselle Rouge - all Virgin planes have names) is shortly to be towed off the runway, then the real fun will begin!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on April 16, 2012, 01:16:05 PM
I'm currently sitting in McDonalds enjoying my BigMac staff meal £2.29. Passengers keep interrupting me asking silly questions. Bastards. The plane in question, an A330, reg G-VSXY (Mademoiselle Rouge - all Virgin planes have names) is shortly to be towed off the runway, then the real fun will begin!

More overtime......... rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 16, 2012, 01:22:56 PM
I'm currently sitting in McDonalds enjoying my BigMac staff meal £2.29. Passengers keep interrupting me asking silly questions. Bastards. The plane in question, an A330, reg G-VSXY (Mademoiselle Rouge - all Virgin planes have names) is shortly to be towed off the runway, then the real fun will begin!

Tell them that all virgins are difficult to land....  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 16, 2012, 01:26:00 PM
I'm currently sitting in McDonalds enjoying my BigMac staff meal £2.29. Passengers keep interrupting me asking silly questions. Bastards. The plane in question, an A330, reg G-VSXY (Mademoiselle Rouge - all Virgin planes have names) is shortly to be towed off the runway, then the real fun will begin!

Tell them that all virgins are difficult to land....  Thumbs:

I thought the problem was getting them on the ground.  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 16, 2012, 01:54:00 PM
Actually, the plane is called "Beauty Queen"...

Gates 17 + 19 are now full of the passengers who got off the plane - foil blankets and "counsellors" everywhere...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 16, 2012, 01:56:50 PM
 ::)

Do the counsellors look how I imagine them to look. I would biff one if they came near me  evil:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 16, 2012, 01:59:52 PM
Indeed they do, Nick. I can smell the lentils from here...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on April 16, 2012, 02:16:50 PM
Actually, the plane is called "Beauty Queen"...

Gates 17 + 19 are now full of the passengers who got off the plane - foil blankets and "counsellors" everywhere...

there's munny (and a nice warm fuzzy feeling) in it for them!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 16, 2012, 02:18:37 PM
And lawyers for compo  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pastis on April 16, 2012, 03:17:56 PM
Cuts and bruises, I heard ... tsk tsk  noooo:

When are they going to detonate the plane?  razz:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 16, 2012, 03:39:03 PM
We're just pushing out the 14:10 to Copenhagen. Could be a busy afternoon!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 16, 2012, 04:46:06 PM
We're just pushing out the 14:10 to Copenhagen. Could be a busy afternoon!
Push !  eeek:

I thought they would give you a tug.



<snigger>
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 16, 2012, 04:54:12 PM
DS is thinkng of Amsterdam  noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 16, 2012, 06:13:42 PM
It's gonna be a loooooong night...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 17, 2012, 03:06:44 AM
Home sweet home. The last one was due in at 03:30 from Palma Mallorca but it seems they decided to cancel it, so the last one we offloaded was about 02:30 from Tenerife. All night though, we were just a 2 man team - it certainly has taken its toll, I'll sleep well.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on April 17, 2012, 07:08:26 PM
Carnage here. Look at the news!


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs16.postimage.org%2Fpcgunt5zl%2Flanding_gear.jpg&hash=822bd5f3cd7bf5a1e5e9e79d61a21041) (http://postimage.org/image/pcgunt5zl/)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 23, 2012, 02:53:33 AM
In the right ciurcumstances chiles give off tangible heat. It appears that the Virgin A330 that made an emergency landing last week did so because the forward hold sensors picked up a higher-than-to-be-expected heat reading, thus possibly pointing to a fire.

Actually, there were 4 tonnes of powdered chile peppers that somehow got damp and started exuding heat  ;D

Rememver folks, spicy cooking is bad for aviation...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 23, 2012, 05:20:25 AM
In the right ciurcumstances chiles give off tangible heat. It appears that the Virgin A330 that made an emergency landing last week did so because the forward hold sensors picked up a higher-than-to-be-expected heat reading, thus possibly pointing to a fire.

Actually, there were 4 tonnes of powdered chile peppers that somehow got damp and started exuding heat  ;D

Rememver folks, spicy cooking is bad for aviation...

And who loaded them in there...?  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on April 23, 2012, 07:43:48 AM
In the right ciurcumstances chiles give off tangible heat. It appears that the Virgin A330 that made an emergency landing last week did so because the forward hold sensors picked up a higher-than-to-be-expected heat reading, thus possibly pointing to a fire.

Actually, there were 4 tonnes of powdered chile peppers that somehow got damp and started exuding heat  ;D

Rememver folks, spicy cooking is bad for aviation...

And who loaded them in there...?  whistle:

And, why/how did they get damp? Enquiring minds want to know!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on April 23, 2012, 07:58:15 AM
In the right ciurcumstances chiles give off tangible heat. It appears that the Virgin A330 that made an emergency landing last week did so because the forward hold sensors picked up a higher-than-to-be-expected heat reading, thus possibly pointing to a fire.

Actually, there were 4 tonnes of powdered chile peppers that somehow got damp and started exuding heat  ;D

Rememver folks, spicy cooking is bad for aviation...

And who loaded them in there...?  whistle:

And, why/how did they get damp? Enquiring minds want to know!

TMR prolly got "caught short".  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 23, 2012, 08:10:33 AM
In the right ciurcumstances chiles give off tangible heat. It appears that the Virgin A330 that made an emergency landing last week did so because the forward hold sensors picked up a higher-than-to-be-expected heat reading, thus possibly pointing to a fire.

Actually, there were 4 tonnes of powdered chile peppers that somehow got damp and started exuding heat  ;D

Rememver folks, spicy cooking is bad for aviation...

And who loaded them in there...?  whistle:

And, why/how did they get damp? Enquiring minds want to know!

TMR prolly got "caught short".  whistle:

Very short....
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 23, 2012, 08:13:29 AM
In the right ciurcumstances chiles give off tangible heat.

He does talk a lot doesn't he  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on April 23, 2012, 08:27:12 AM
 lol: lol: oh Miss D and on a Monday morning too.  Tsk


Can't stand the whining fat overpaid git personally, that's Chiles not TMR of course.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on April 23, 2012, 09:09:17 AM
Oh, I don,t know . . .      whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 23, 2012, 10:35:36 AM
Swissport loaded the container onto the plane. World Freight Services were responsible for packaging the container. Nothing to do with our lot.

However, in my dealings with both the aforementioned companies, I have found the majority of their staff to be several sandwiches short of the full picnic!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 23, 2012, 11:02:33 AM
Swissport loaded the container onto the plane. World Freight Services were responsible for packaging the container. Nothing to do with our lot.

However, in my dealings with both the aforementioned companies, I have found the majority of their staff to be several sandwiches short of the full picnic!

Whereas you are just short....  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 04, 2012, 03:57:59 AM
Morning brief from the Duty Manager - "make sure you are highly visible on the ramp, as one of our colleagues got run over yesterday".

And who was it?  The Health + Safety numpty...

Hahahahaha!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on May 04, 2012, 04:36:14 AM
That brought back a memory I'd actually forgot about... September 1975, induction day at the College of Building, "well we would introduce you to the H & S advisor, but he's currently off sick after fallling off a ladder".  happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on May 04, 2012, 04:49:05 AM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on May 04, 2012, 05:33:41 PM
At our place the transport yard doors are plastered with notices declaring: "Danger - moving vehicles"

Well, call me naive if you like, but, I'd not expect stationary vehicles to present much of a hazard, unless, of course, you walk into one!

So, the notice would seem to be a bit superfluous in my opinion!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on May 04, 2012, 08:48:26 PM
At our place the transport yard doors are plastered with notices declaring: "Danger - moving vehicles"

Well, call me naive if you like, but, I'd not expect stationary vehicles to present much of a hazard, unless, of course, you walk into one!

So, the notice would seem to be a bit superfluous in my opinion!

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 05, 2012, 04:02:20 AM
The H+S bloke in question is extremely unpopular.

We are having a whip round - for the BA driver...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 05, 2012, 01:51:15 AM
Sooooo....

Last job of the night - unload the A320 from Corfu, 129 bags, no dramas.

We've unloaded the rear hold and are midway through the front hold when the aircraft technician pops his head up and tells us they are going to do smoke detector tests in the rear hold - we will hear an alarm from the cabin, but carry on. No dramas.

As usual, it's me in the hold chucking the bags and my colleagues stacking them on the lorry.

Suddenly the alarm goes off and about a second later there's a BANG! in the front hold where I am and the extinguishers go off - not water, some sort of gas that immediately fills the entire hold in a fog of presumably fire retardant gas. I nearly shit meself and just bolted out, landing on one of my colleagues as I jumped out.

I don't know what that stuff was, but my ciggies taste odd ever since. I think the technician is in for a bit of a bollocking...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 05, 2012, 05:02:31 AM
Sooooo....

Last job of the night - unload the A320 from Corfu, 129 bags, no dramas.

We've unloaded the rear hold and are midway through the front hold when the aircraft technician pops his head up and tells us they are going to do smoke detector tests in the rear hold - we will hear an alarm from the cabin, but carry on. No dramas.

As usual, it's me in the hold chucking the bags and my colleagues stacking them on the lorry.

Suddenly the alarm goes off and about a second later there's a BANG! in the front hold where I am and the extinguishers go off - not water, some sort of gas that immediately fills the entire hold in a fog of presumably fire retardant gas. I nearly shit meself and just bolted out, landing on one of my colleagues as I jumped out.

I don't know what that stuff was, but my ciggies taste odd ever since. I think the technician is in for a bit of a bollocking...

 eeek:

Well, at least it can't stunt your growth!  point:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: tel on June 05, 2012, 09:06:33 AM
Well at least they don't use Halon anymore.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on June 06, 2012, 11:53:26 AM
Just as well really.  ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 06, 2012, 04:00:55 PM
Well at least they don't use Halon anymore.

Shame... a good dose of Bromochlorodifluoromethane would have done him the world of good!  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on June 06, 2012, 06:21:00 PM
Good old BCF! There's a blast fro the past! Remember fire extinguishers in the RAF being used for DIYmdry cleaning!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on June 06, 2012, 10:00:41 PM
Good old BCF! There's a blast fro the past! Remember fire extinguishers in the RAF being used for DIYmdry cleaning!

Indeed ~ Cheaper than "Dab-it-off"  ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on June 06, 2012, 10:04:21 PM
Or Kleenex, as Pirate refers to it  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on June 07, 2012, 07:14:53 AM
Sod Kleenex, you need the right tool for the job tool

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs13.postimage.org%2Fn4kyepycz%2FWink_Wipes.jpg&hash=ddf2b219b9c78289a7956f3808827508) (http://postimage.org/image/n4kyepycz/)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 07, 2012, 08:10:03 AM
Good old BCF! There's a blast fro the past! Remember fire extinguishers in the RAF being used for DIYmdry cleaning!

I used to work for the company that made them - Graviner!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 15, 2012, 06:47:44 PM
Norman Cook aka Slimboy Fat got on a plane to Barcelona today. Nice bloke, but by god he looks old - didn't realise he's knocking on 50  eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on June 15, 2012, 06:55:48 PM
 sad32:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 15, 2012, 07:00:29 PM
 sad24:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on June 15, 2012, 07:05:08 PM
Poo poo  point:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 15, 2012, 07:06:18 PM
Poo poo  point:

BONG!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 15, 2012, 07:06:44 PM
Poo poo  point:

 noooo:

















 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on June 16, 2012, 08:10:28 AM
Norman Cook aka Slimboy Fat got on a plane to Barcelona today. Nice bloke, but by god he looks old - didn't realise he's knocking on 50  eeek:


Housemartins ,,,,,,,,,, :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 16, 2012, 09:19:27 AM
All flights to Jersey cancelled - a plane landed there and left half its undercarriage on the runway. Shame they didn't tell me until I'd loaded the Flybe going there...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 16, 2012, 09:21:56 AM
All flights to Jersey cancelled - a plane landed there and left half its undercarriage on the runway. Shame they didn't tell me until I'd loaded the Flybe going there...

Ah, the mystery of Nick's whereabouts is resolved!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 17, 2012, 08:10:48 PM
Gone tits up here, I'm stopping on until 04:00...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on June 17, 2012, 08:13:59 PM
Gone tits up here, I'm stopping on until 04:00...


Blame Miss D............. noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 17, 2012, 08:22:14 PM
Was seriously slack this afternoon  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on June 17, 2012, 08:24:15 PM
Was seriously slack this afternoon  noooo:



 eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 18, 2012, 02:57:18 AM
Was seriously slack this afternoon  noooo:

Apologies, Miss D  redface:   How long did you have to wait?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 18, 2012, 04:48:49 AM
Probably about 25 mins , and our cases were almost the last ones  sad24:  sad24: sad24:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 18, 2012, 06:36:36 AM
Was there anything left in them?  I would count your best silk thongs if I were you Miss D.  It's not only baggage that those handlers like to handle. noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 18, 2012, 08:07:07 AM
Was seriously slack this afternoon  noooo:
shutup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on June 18, 2012, 08:09:45 AM
Was seriously slack this afternoon  noooo:
shutup:

For a whole week............ rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 20, 2012, 12:54:39 AM
Somewhere between coming in for a ciggie, loading a Geneva flight and then gong to drop off 2 bags that had to come off the plane, I lost my security pass.

I then spent an hour retracing my steps to see if I could find it - no luck.

I then spent four hours waiting in the crew room for the plane to come back to see if it had been handed to one of the flight crew - no luck. So later today I will probably have to go to Gatwick to get a new one.

My only day off in 11 days. Bugger.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 20, 2012, 05:04:39 AM
Somewhere between coming in for a ciggie, loading a Geneva flight and then gong to drop off 2 bags that had to come off the plane, I lost my security pass.

I then spent an hour retracing my steps to see if I could find it - no luck.

I then spent four hours waiting in the crew room for the plane to come back to see if it had been handed to one of the flight crew - no luck. So later today I will probably have to go to Gatwick to get a new one.

My only day off in 11 days. Bugger.

 point:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 20, 2012, 11:15:46 AM
Pass got. Now it's beer time.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 01, 2012, 11:46:51 PM
More clusterfuckery tonight, so another stop-on until 03:30.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 05, 2012, 02:16:31 PM
Tomorrow at about 12.30 an Emirates A380 is coming in. I'm not entirely sure where they're gonna put it or how they will get 600-odd passengers off quickly, seeing as there is only 1 air-bridge per stand. Sholud be interesting  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 06, 2012, 05:55:21 AM
Tomorrow at about 12.30 an Emirates A380 is coming in. I'm not entirely sure where they're gonna put it or how they will get 600-odd passengers off quickly, seeing as there is only 1 air-bridge per stand. Sholud be interesting  Thumbs:

That will be interesting!  lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 06, 2012, 03:56:42 PM
Is he still unloading the bags?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 06, 2012, 07:07:13 PM
Is he still unloading the bags?

 ;D Not me, we don't look after Emirates.  There were hundreds of plane spotters on the perimeter road to see it  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 07, 2012, 07:25:56 AM
Is he still unloading the bags?

 ;D Not me, we don't look after Emirates.  There were hundreds of plane spotters on the perimeter road to see it  noooo:

Did you sign autographs...?  ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Uncle Mort on July 07, 2012, 07:42:36 AM
Is he still unloading the bags?


 ;D Not me, we don't look after Emirates.  There were hundreds of plane spotters on the perimeter road to see it  noooo:


Emirates Airbus A380 First Gatwick Landing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INCp2yGCYUk#ws)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 07, 2012, 08:02:54 AM
Is he still unloading the bags?


 ;D Not me, we don't look after Emirates.  There were hundreds of plane spotters on the perimeter road to see it  noooo:


Emirates Airbus A380 First Gatwick Landing ([url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INCp2yGCYUk#ws[/url])


 Thumbs:

That is an big bird!

So, how did they get everybody off....? Popcorn:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on July 07, 2012, 10:48:18 AM
Is he still unloading the bags?


 ;D Not me, we don't look after Emirates.  There were hundreds of plane spotters on the perimeter road to see it  noooo:


Emirates Airbus A380 First Gatwick Landing ([url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INCp2yGCYUk#ws[/url])


 Thumbs:

That is an big bird!

So, how did they get everybody off....? Popcorn:


Through the doors ~ same as always.  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 07, 2012, 12:29:43 PM
Is he still unloading the bags?


 ;D Not me, we don't look after Emirates.  There were hundreds of plane spotters on the perimeter road to see it  noooo:


Emirates Airbus A380 First Gatwick Landing ([url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INCp2yGCYUk#ws[/url])


 Thumbs:

That is an big bird!

So, how did they get everybody off....? Popcorn:


Through the doors ~ same as always.  whistle:


 ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 10, 2012, 02:13:22 AM
Trouble brews...

The permanents get a bonus of up to £250 per month.  For the last 8 months, it's been gradually going down due to various targets not being met and other such stuff. This month they have had £112.50 deducted for only achieving 83.1% "on time departures" against the target of 83.3%. To lose the entire bonus for 0.2% is bad enough, but then they were all slapped with a further £50 deduction due to a "CATEGORY A" incident (personal injury).

The personal injury in question was a chap coming into work had the top of his finger removed when a door in the crew room slammed shut on his pinkie due to high winds. The room THE COMPANY maintains. 500-odd people lose another £50...

Mutiny on the horizon...

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on July 10, 2012, 03:58:04 AM
But there's no Bank Holiday due for a while  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 10, 2012, 04:36:04 AM
Have they not asked for an increase in the bonus due to the extra work of the Olympics - that seems to be the order of the day  noooo:

Every bastard seems to be making money out of it. We can only accrue Time Off In Lieu for working unsociable hours and weekends  sad24: sad24: sad24:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 17, 2012, 03:26:30 AM
Well, we didn't get the BA contract, so I'm not sure what that means for us temps. Swissport got it and it may be that some of the Swissport boys who joined us when we got Flybe will go back. Who knows.

Late one tonight - I was on "special ops" as we are being audited by SleazyJet and I was asked to go round making sure every SleazyJet on the deck was "by the book", i.e. 4 chocks, 5 cones, all steps correct etc.

2 hours to check 63 planes, although I may have had a ciggie or two during that...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on July 17, 2012, 05:38:43 AM
You could always get a job with a reputable company like Group 4  rubschin: (hope all goes well)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 17, 2012, 05:52:46 AM
I think they have enough threats to terror  in employment now  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 21, 2012, 04:11:30 AM
I appear to have been offered a permanent contract :-)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on July 21, 2012, 04:58:56 AM
May I be the first of many to congratulate you TMR, all that effort paid off.  :thumbsup: Pint of Youngs for the man at the end of the bar please Barman. Stick it on me slate like

You must already be looking forward to your first strike TMR  point:

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on July 21, 2012, 05:17:16 AM
Well done you .....paid sick days now then eh   whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 21, 2012, 06:27:37 AM
Ah...first weekend after the schools break up and the luggage belts in the South Terminal go tits up. Lots of planes going out with very few bags on...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 21, 2012, 07:07:29 AM
I appear to have been offered a permanent contract :-)

Congratulations TMR!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: miss Tchevious on July 21, 2012, 07:13:19 AM
 Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:
Nice one!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on July 21, 2012, 07:17:13 AM
Congrats TMR, that's good news.  angel1
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on July 21, 2012, 08:32:16 AM
Good man......... :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 21, 2012, 09:20:00 AM
I appear to have been offered a permanent contract :-)
Well done lad, you earned it.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on July 22, 2012, 05:10:38 PM
Tomorrow at about 12.30 an Emirates A380 is coming in. I'm not entirely sure where they're gonna put it or how they will get 600-odd passengers off quickly, seeing as there is only 1 air-bridge per stand. Sholud be interesting  Thumbs:

When I was at Twickenham yesterday the Emirates A380 from Heathrow to Dubai was taking off and flew directly over the stadium.  eeek:  Fuck me, that's one big plane  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 22, 2012, 09:17:48 PM
Soooo...we're unloading a flight from Basel and one of the aircraft engineers wanders over. A female! She said "when you've finished, can you leave the hold door open?"

I replied "Are you going to hoover in here then?"

She wasn't happy...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on July 22, 2012, 09:42:17 PM
Soooo...we're unloading a flight from Basel and one of the aircraft engineers wanders over. A female! She said "when you've finished, can you leave the hold door open?"

I replied "Are you going to hoover in here then?"

She wasn't happy...

Could have been worse .............various sucking jokes ........... whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 23, 2012, 07:17:27 AM
Soooo...we're unloading a flight from Basel and one of the aircraft engineers wanders over. A female! She said "when you've finished, can you leave the hold door open?"

I replied "Are you going to hoover in here then?"

She wasn't happy...

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 24, 2012, 04:41:36 PM
It appears I will be on "accelerated training" and could be pushing planes around within 2 months  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 24, 2012, 04:42:21 PM
It appears I will be on "accelerated training" and could be pushing planes around within 2 months  Thumbs:

Teeny-tiny ones...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 24, 2012, 04:50:57 PM
It appears I will be on "accelerated training" and could be pushing planes around within 2 months  Thumbs:

Teeny-tiny ones...?  rubschin:

Wot ? Like ATRs and Dash 8s? Nah, it will be A319/320/321s. And the odd 737. And Fokker.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on August 13, 2012, 09:51:43 PM
http://www.radiotimes.com/episode/mvb8h/inside-gatwick--series-1---3-baggage (http://www.radiotimes.com/episode/mvb8h/inside-gatwick--series-1---3-baggage)
 rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 14, 2012, 02:52:43 AM
[url]http://www.radiotimes.com/episode/mvb8h/inside-gatwick--series-1---3-baggage[/url] ([url]http://www.radiotimes.com/episode/mvb8h/inside-gatwick--series-1---3-baggage[/url])
 rubschin:


Try this one - 4 minutes 30 in. One of my colleagues, Crofty. So slow you would think he is in a torpor. Some of us can turn a plane around that has 180 passengers and 170 bags in 25 mins...  angel1
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on August 14, 2012, 04:40:58 AM
[url]http://www.radiotimes.com/episode/mvb8h/inside-gatwick--series-1---3-baggage[/url] ([url]http://www.radiotimes.com/episode/mvb8h/inside-gatwick--series-1---3-baggage[/url])
 rubschin:


Try this one - 4 minutes 30 in. One of my colleagues, Crofty. So slow you would think he is in a torpor. Some of us can turn a plane around that has 180 passengers and 170 bags in 25 mins...  angel1


Shrugs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 14, 2012, 04:49:56 PM
[url]http://www.radiotimes.com/episode/mvb8h/inside-gatwick--series-1---3-baggage[/url] ([url]http://www.radiotimes.com/episode/mvb8h/inside-gatwick--series-1---3-baggage[/url])
 rubschin:


Try this one - 4 minutes 30 in. One of my colleagues, Crofty. So slow you would think he is in a torpor. Some of us can turn a plane around that has 180 passengers and 170 bags in 25 mins...  angel1


Shrugs:


Sorry, wrong link  redface:   Try this Inside Gatwick Series 1 | Ep 5 Runway Pt2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0k6fzvyiYE#ws)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on August 28, 2012, 02:47:18 AM
Nick Clegg flew back from wherever on easyJet today. Feckin' police everywhere and we didn't even get a chance to jump up and down on his bags. Allegedly.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on August 28, 2012, 04:38:08 AM
Nick Clegg flew back from wherever on easyJet today. Feckin' police everywhere and we didn't even get a chance to jump up and down on his bags. Allegedly.

 Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 28, 2012, 04:46:46 AM
I met Nick Clegg's bodyguard at a party the other week .....I asked him why on earth he needed a bodyguard, was it in case he made a decision  redface:

Bodyguard chappy didn't find it funny  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on August 28, 2012, 04:48:09 AM
I met Nick Clegg's bodyguard at a party the other week .....I asked him why on earth he needed a bodyguard, was it in case he made a decision  redface:

Bodyguard chappy didn't find it funny  noooo:

 Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on August 28, 2012, 05:55:16 AM
 :thumbsup:  :thumbsup:

Did he say, "You're that Miss D aren't ya"
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 28, 2012, 06:39:31 AM
Don't think he wanted to stay and chat after that ...honestly some people just can't take a joke  redface: redface: redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on August 28, 2012, 07:11:39 AM
If you, having served some years in the force, were told that your next duty would be to spend 3 years as Mr Clegg's personal policeman I expect you too would suffer a sense of humour failure.
That poor copper must have upset someone very senior at some stage in his career. He'd prolly prefer traffic duty.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 28, 2012, 11:44:29 AM
If you, having served some years in the force, were told that your next duty would be to spend 3 years as Mr Clegg's personal policeman I expect you too would suffer a sense of humour failure.
That poor copper must have upset someone very senior at some stage in his career. He'd prolly prefer traffic duty.

Quite so. it's only one rung up from guarding Fergie.  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on August 28, 2012, 02:41:56 PM
If you, having served some years in the force, were told that your next duty would be to spend 3 years as Mr Clegg's personal policeman I expect you too would suffer a sense of humour failure.
That poor copper must have upset someone very senior at some stage in his career. He'd prolly prefer traffic duty.

Quite so. it's only one rung up from guarding Fergie.  noooo:

Or a toe up...........
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on September 01, 2012, 07:11:00 PM
Soooo...

What with the majority of kids going back to school next week, you might think that outbound flights get lighter.

Oooh no. Now the mummies and daddies without school age kids, or those with or those with toddlers head off. Today was totally manic,  I'm knackered  noooo:

Cold Carlsbergs are required. Several.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 02, 2012, 10:46:28 AM
Soooo...

What with the majority of kids going back to school next week, you might think that outbound flights get lighter.

Oooh no. Now the mummies and daddies without school age kids,  or those with toddlers head off. Today was totally manic,  I'm knackered  noooo:

Cold Carlsbergs are required. Several.  :thumbsup:

 eeek:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcrunchychewymama.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F10%2Ftoddler-headless-scarecrow.jpg&hash=a8246de36e43baf97a8ab7d1938fdd83)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on September 03, 2012, 04:17:43 AM
Something very strange going on with OnurAir...they're sending loads of planes over in the next 6 hours (normally only 1 per day) and all of them are going back empty...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on September 03, 2012, 04:40:43 AM
Something very strange going on with OnurAir...they're sending loads of planes over in the next 6 hours (normally only 1 per day) and all of them are going back empty...

Some fuel wasting malarkey to keep their landing slots prolly....  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on September 03, 2012, 07:47:02 PM
Possibly so, BM - we've got another 3 tonight. 205 bags on the first one...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on September 03, 2012, 08:10:26 PM
Hen party?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on September 03, 2012, 08:11:14 PM
Hen party?

Bags, not hags....  ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on September 03, 2012, 08:28:56 PM
I defer to your greater experience
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on September 03, 2012, 09:16:09 PM
Typical - I got the first one.  Chucking 205 bags out half killed me; the holds are loooooong, like feckin bolwing alleys.

Luckily this one went back out empty. OnurAir are still deciding which of the remaining 3 incoming planes to put the outbound passengers on. What a shambles.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on September 04, 2012, 02:43:15 AM
Well, that's the last one in and offloaded. Somewhere in the South Terminal there are about 220 passengers expecting to get on this one back out to Dalaman, but I hear rumours about fuel bills not being paid so they may be in for a long night...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on September 04, 2012, 08:40:54 AM
Well, that's the last one in and offloaded. Somewhere in the South Terminal there are about 220 passengers expecting to get on this one back out to Dalaman, but I hear rumours about fuel bills not being paid so they may be in for a long night...

I heard they were going skint ............ rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 05, 2012, 05:05:36 PM
Couldn't you have just asked for a coffee break TMR?  rubschin:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2198525/Heathrow-airport-Burst-pipe-Terminal-5-covers-100-bags-raw-sewage.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2198525/Heathrow-airport-Burst-pipe-Terminal-5-covers-100-bags-raw-sewage.html)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on September 05, 2012, 05:15:14 PM
Erm...I work at Gatwick...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 05, 2012, 05:19:19 PM
Bugger  redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on September 05, 2012, 05:53:19 PM
Bell-end :-)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 05, 2012, 05:58:53 PM
Everyone has a Nick moment at one point or another.  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on September 05, 2012, 06:04:10 PM
 cussing:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 05, 2012, 06:26:06 PM
Oh calm down Roland.  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 02, 2012, 01:47:20 AM
Well that's done. 59.5 hours in 4 days and I am officially knackered.

Highlight of the day was the the Frenchman going up the rear steps to an easyJet to Toulouse smoking a Gitanes. He seemed most offended when I took it from him and berated him in his native tongue.

Three days off now and I shall be venturing to Leeds ( scared2:) and Stratford-upon-Avon.

Now I must sleep  cloud9:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 02, 2012, 02:04:53 AM
It's been a long few days for you sleep well and enjoy the next few days.  Leeds might be a tad tricky but you can try.  ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on October 08, 2012, 01:13:04 PM
Passed through Gatters South yesterday evening - SqueezyJet from Linate - were you on?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Snoopy on October 08, 2012, 01:21:06 PM
Passed through Gatters South yesterday evening - SqueezyJet from Linate - were you on?

Is this a missing bag enquiry?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 08, 2012, 01:23:51 PM
Passed through Gatters South yesterday evening - SqueezyJet from Linate - were you on?

Is this a missing bag enquiry?

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 08, 2012, 01:27:22 PM
I was working, but didn't do that flight. Doubtless the bags were on the reclaim belt before you got there?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on October 08, 2012, 01:27:56 PM
Passed through Gatters South yesterday evening - SqueezyJet from Linate - were you on?

Is this a missing bag enquiry?

 lol: lol: lol:

No, no. She returned with me and is currently at werk while I sort out gym appointments, fracture clinic appointments and upcoming pension payment details!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on October 08, 2012, 01:30:39 PM
I was working, but didn't do that flight. Doubtless the bags were on the reclaim belt before you got there?

Indeed they were - but that is likely due to the UK Border Agency operatives who were going at it like striking slugs giving rise to tailbacks back up onto the previous floor, rather than any innate efficiency of Menzies or Servisair!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 08, 2012, 01:54:48 PM
Servisair are known as "Circusair" on the Ramp. A shower of lazy feckwits.

We have complained about the delays caused by the Border Agency - sometimes all the reclaim belts are so full of bags that we can't get any more on.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 14, 2012, 01:30:55 PM
I wonder if TMR will get his hands on LL's luggage this afternoon....?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 14, 2012, 01:39:35 PM
Which way is she flying this time?  I lose track.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 14, 2012, 01:50:08 PM
Which way is she flying this time?  I lose track.


On the cheap knowing BM.  noooo:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.somalimuzic.com%2Fphoto%2Fdata%2Fimages%2Fsomali_air.jpg&hash=e69af311e8e4f5da9f91518ea9ffa82c)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 14, 2012, 01:52:32 PM
EZY8807 to Paphos?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 14, 2012, 01:52:57 PM
Which way is she flying this time?  I lose track.

Back to Cyprus - why do you think I am cleaning....?  ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 15, 2012, 03:05:16 AM
Another late night, thanks in part to planes going "tech" whilst in parts foreign and the delayed Amman flight (incoming) resulting from some half-witted camel jockey taking a case on the earlier outbound with the word "gunpowder" on it.   ::)

All bags had to come off, all passengers had to come off with their cabin baggage and then the sniffer dogs were ser to work on every single bag and passenger. A 2 1/2 hour delay meaning the inbound 00:10 didn't actually hit the deck until 02.35.

I should find out within the next couple of days whether I am to be made permanent  scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 15, 2012, 05:33:45 AM
Good fer you!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 15, 2012, 06:51:59 AM
Which way is she flying this time?  I lose track.

Back to Cyprus - why do you think I am cleaning....?  ::)


Umm no you were talking about not cleaning. ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 15, 2012, 06:54:47 AM
Which way is she flying this time?  I lose track.

Back to Cyprus - why do you think I am cleaning....?  ::)


Umm no you were talking about not cleaning. ;)

 lol: lol: lol:

I had the place all cleaned up nicely...  angel1

She arrived on time too which is always a bonus - her case has a teeny-tiny boot print on it tho....  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 22, 2012, 06:56:51 PM
Any effect for you ........ rubschin:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2221343/UK-Weather-Met-Office-issues-severe-weather-warning-fog-leads-120-cancelled-flights.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2221343/UK-Weather-Met-Office-issues-severe-weather-warning-fog-leads-120-cancelled-flights.html)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 22, 2012, 09:00:58 PM
Not really - it's not too foggy here now, although we are getting a couple of "positioners" sent here.

It was really foggy last night, then, quite suddenly it cleared so I wasn't required to stay too late.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 22, 2012, 09:05:16 PM
Not really - it's not too foggy here now, although we are getting a couple of "positioners" sent here.

It was really foggy last night, then, quite suddenly it cleared so I wasn't required to stay too late.


 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 23, 2012, 04:08:15 AM
One more shift as a temp to go, before I start as a permanent  Shocked:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on October 23, 2012, 05:56:03 AM
Woohoo!  Cream cakes are on TMR  Party001: Party001: Party001:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 23, 2012, 06:08:02 AM
^^^Wot he said^^^  Mines an eclair please. :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 23, 2012, 07:20:02 AM
Looks like he's already had that idea  whistle:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogcdn.com%2Fwww.parentdish.co.uk%2Fmedia%2F2012%2F09%2Frexfeatures1866054a.jpg&hash=bdc8a670c90d1cb4499035ca9b76445c)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: tel on October 23, 2012, 08:55:04 AM
Oh dear.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 23, 2012, 09:31:50 AM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 23, 2012, 11:40:04 AM
Looks like he's already had that idea  whistle:

([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogcdn.com%2Fwww.parentdish.co.uk%2Fmedia%2F2012%2F09%2Frexfeatures1866054a.jpg&hash=bdc8a670c90d1cb4499035ca9b76445c[/url])


Better than Sosigenes. noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on October 23, 2012, 11:48:01 AM
it doesn't look like he's making a calendar but I might be wrong. rubschin:

A game of hunt the Jimmy Savile perhaps?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 31, 2012, 01:56:17 PM
So my new shift - as a permanent - starts on Saturday morning. My old shift was 4 days on / 3 days off. The new one is 6 on, 3 off - with shorter days and only 30 hours contractual per week.

So not only am I losing 10 hours, I am paying and extra £25 in fuel.

Not good.

I have been told, on the quiet, that on my first 3 days of each shift (0600-1030) I will be asked to stop on until at least 1430, thus getting my lost 10 hours back and paying the extra fuel.

We shall see.

On the plus side, if I fancy a bit of a break, I can take my first 3 earlies off and it will only "cost" me 13 1/2 hours and will follow my 3 other 3 days off.

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 31, 2012, 02:00:33 PM
So my new shift - as a permanent - starts on Saturday morning. My old shift was 4 days on / 3 days off. The new one is 6 on, 3 off - with shorter days and only 30 hours contractual per week.

So not only am I losing 10 hours, I am paying and extra £25 in fuel.

Not good.

I have been told, on the quiet, that on my first 3 days of each shift (0600-1030) I will be asked to stop on until at least 1430, thus getting my lost 10 hours back and paying the extra fuel.

We shall see.

On the plus side, if I fancy a bit of a break, I can take my first 3 earlies off and it will only "cost" me 13 1/2 hours and will follow my 3 other 3 days off.


Throw a sicky........ whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 31, 2012, 03:20:39 PM
So my new shift - as a permanent - starts on Saturday morning. My old shift was 4 days on / 3 days off. The new one is 6 on, 3 off - with shorter days and only 30 hours contractual per week.

So not only am I losing 10 hours, I am paying and extra £25 in fuel.

Not good.

I have been told, on the quiet, that on my first 3 days of each shift (0600-1030) I will be asked to stop on until at least 1430, thus getting my lost 10 hours back and paying the extra fuel.

We shall see.

On the plus side, if I fancy a bit of a break, I can take my first 3 earlies off and it will only "cost" me 13 1/2 hours and will follow my 3 other 3 days off.

Don't forget all the extra days off on strike at bank holidays.  ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 31, 2012, 03:50:00 PM
Striking is a distinct possibility at the moment, as the majority of the staff have voted to reject the Company's pay offer.  It's 3.5% and personally I think that it's not a bad offer, given the current economic climate.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 31, 2012, 03:55:48 PM
3.5 %   eeek:

 sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 31, 2012, 03:57:21 PM
It's 3.5% and personally I think that it's not a bad offer, given the current economic climate.

And what did your workmates say when you expressed that opinion?  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 31, 2012, 04:18:11 PM
It's 3.5% and personally I think that it's not a bad offer, given the current economic climate.

And what did your workmates say when you expressed that opinion?  whistle:

 boxing
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 31, 2012, 04:53:12 PM
They've had 2.25% for the past 2 years, but Union membership was low. Now, 80% are in the Union (Unite) so a ballot to hold industrial action (not necessarily an all-out strike) holds more weight. But if push does come to shove, I can't see many actually striking. It's all bravado. We'll settle for 3.75% and full sick pay (only SSP at the moment).Gatwick is by far the most profitable station in the company. 
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 31, 2012, 05:02:50 PM
They've had 2.25% for the past 2 years, but Union membership was low. Now, 80% are in the Union (Unite) so a ballot to hold industrial action (not necessarily an all-out strike) holds more weight. But if push does come to shove, I can't see many actually striking. It's all bravado. We'll settle for 3.75% and full sick pay (only SSP at the moment).Gatwick is by far the most profitable station in the company.


Get the temps in.......... whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on October 31, 2012, 05:42:30 PM
They've had 2.25% for the past 2 years, but Union membership was low. Now, 80% are in the Union (Unite) so a ballot to hold industrial action (not necessarily an all-out strike) holds more weight. But if push does come to shove, I can't see many actually striking. It's all bravado. We'll settle for 3.75% and full sick pay (only SSP at the moment).Gatwick is by far the most profitable station in the company.

You've had pay rises in the last few years  sad32: sad32: sad32:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on October 31, 2012, 06:15:01 PM
I feel your pain Miss D  happy100

No cost of living pay rises for the last three years  sad24:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 31, 2012, 09:46:44 PM
It isn't easy in the private sector either  sad24:

I could find it very tricky if people stopped buying food.  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Uncle Mort on November 01, 2012, 01:08:18 PM
Is turnips food?

I've never knowingly bought or eaten one  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 01, 2012, 09:58:47 PM
Is turnips food?

I've never knowingly bought or eaten one  rubschin:

That would explain your poor health.

"A turnip a day keeps the Doctor away"
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on November 02, 2012, 09:31:56 AM
They can cure e coli in sheep according to Farming Today. And moo cows too prolly.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on November 02, 2012, 12:59:52 PM
What turnips cure e coli?  If that is the cast I will double my growing capacity of kohlrabi next year , I will never be able to  compete with the big boys like Darwin but Sheffield may be a safer place to live.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on November 17, 2012, 08:44:37 PM
Only 10 more planes due in tonight! One month ago, that figure would be nudging 40.

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 19, 2013, 12:43:32 AM
As you can probably imagine, today was "interesting". It snowed all day - sometimes heavy, sometimes not so. The many snow ploughs at Gatwick were busy all day trying to keep the taxiways clear and seemed to be coping. They ignored the interior roads that we use though. The backlogs arose due to every plane requiring de-icing before they flew and by lunchtime most were about 1 1/2 hours late.

Gatwick snow clearing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ms8M-9trj6o#ws)

I had two trailers on the back of an electric buggy and as I tried to stop, the 2 tonne weight behind me decided it didn't want to and my tyres lost the battle with the limited adhesion - I ended up sideways skidding across a junction, narrowly avoiding a re-fueller.  eeek:

One of my colleagues slipped whilst walking under a plane and in the process whacked his head on one of the spiky protuberances - slicing his head open and breaking said protuberance off in the process. Our H&S nazi went out to the scene of the accident, brought him back to the office and promptly suspended him for damaging an aircraft. He was left to drive home to Littlehampton himself, blood gushing down the side of his head.  Nice company, huh?  evil:

As you can imagine, we were all pretty pissed-off about this, so when they asked us all to stop on until 02:00 to see all the late planes in, they had no takers. So all the Supervisors and Duty Managers will have to do them  eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:

Time to relax and a couple of beers before a shower (I'm covered in aircraft de-icer) and bed  cloud9:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on January 19, 2013, 06:20:18 AM
Sounds like he is employed to look after the H&S of the planes rather than the staff.  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on January 19, 2013, 08:30:49 AM
^^^ What he said ^^^  Thank god that I work for a company that have a healthy approach to H & S and staff welfare

Ref the video... echelon ploughing  cloud9:  cloud9:  cloud9:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: GROWLER on January 19, 2013, 09:12:37 AM
SUSPENDED?!! eeek:

I'm going to have to gather my thoughts before commenting on that any further. Angry9:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: GROWLER on January 19, 2013, 09:16:23 AM
Right. I've thought, albeit for only 20 seconds.

You get the union involved pronto and get this poor bastard re-instated immidiately. He then sues the utter bastards for neglecting their duty of care for employees.

I'm absolutely livid for the guy and feeling this almost overwhelming desire  to come down there and twat his boss.....HARD! cussing:

Absolute disgusting C**TS  trick of epic proportions that is....and they left the guy to DRIVE HIMSELF home....WITH A HEAD INJURY? eeek: eeek: eeek: Shocked:

My bladder is frothing currently. Stand well back...,..Explode:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 19, 2013, 11:34:32 AM
Right. I've thought, albeit for only 20 seconds.

You get the union involved pronto and get this poor bastard re-instated immidiately. He then sues the utter bastards for neglecting their duty of care for employees.

I'm absolutely livid for the guy and feeling this almost overwhelming desire  to come down there and twat his boss.....HARD! cussing:

Absolute disgusting C**TS  trick of epic proportions that is....and they left the guy to DRIVE HIMSELF home....WITH A HEAD INJURY? eeek: eeek: eeek: Shocked:

My bladder is frothing currently. Stand well back...,..Explode:

The H&S bloke is a total c*nt of the fist order. It won't be long be someone knocks his brains out - he has form for doing this sort of thing. "The rule book" states that if a plane is damaged the offending person is suspended - no ifs or buts. He has been suspended on full pay.

What really upsets us is that he was left to drive himself home - yet when a supervisor slipped over and broke his arm a few months back, he was taken to horse-pickle.  Another bloke broke his thumb about a month ago and he also was left to take himself home and had his pay docked for leaving early.

It's appalling.

Another one of our blokes slipped over on the back of an electric flat -bed lorry yesterday, due to snow accumulation, and his knee was ballooning when we left las night. He's going to go and "see" the H&S bloke today to let him know that he intends to sue  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: GROWLER on January 19, 2013, 12:01:02 PM
Right. I've thought, albeit for only 20 seconds.

You get the union involved pronto and get this poor bastard re-instated immidiately. He then sues the utter bastards for neglecting their duty of care for employees.

I'm absolutely livid for the guy and feeling this almost overwhelming desire  to come down there and twat his boss.....HARD! cussing:

Absolute disgusting C**TS  trick of epic proportions that is....and they left the guy to DRIVE HIMSELF home....WITH A HEAD INJURY? eeek: eeek: eeek: Shocked:

My bladder is frothing currently. Stand well back...,..Explode:

The H&S bloke is a total c*nt of the fist order. It won't be long be someone knocks his brains out - he has form for doing this sort of thing. "The rule book" states that if a plane is damaged the offending person is suspended - no ifs or buts. He has been suspended on full pay.

What really upsets us is that he was left to drive himself home - yet when a supervisor slipped over and broke his arm a few months back, he was taken to horse-pickle.  Another bloke broke his thumb about a month ago and he also was left to take himself home and had his pay docked for leaving early.

It's appalling.

Another one of our blokes slipped over on the back of an electric flat -bed lorry yesterday, due to snow accumulation, and his knee was ballooning when we left las night. He's going to go and "see" the H&S bloke today to let him know that he intends to sue  eveilgrin:

Excellent. :thumbsup:

Haven't you got a Union rep there? eeek:

Any other industry would down tools over this. Absolutely appaling and disgraceful behaviour by management....cough...MAN agement...to manage men. Worra fuckin' joke. evil:
Is this really the 21st century? rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 19, 2013, 12:31:09 PM
The UNITE union here is pretty impotent tbh. If he sues, it can only be for the injury and not loss of earnings.

He would have to sue Gatwick Airport Ltd (GAL) as it's their responsibility to ensure the aircraft stands are safe. Thing is though - he slipped on de-icing fluid so I'm not sure how that would pan out.

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: GROWLER on January 19, 2013, 02:12:28 PM
Think I need to come down there to sort you's lot and that management shower of shite out. eveilgrin:

What do the union have to say about a member being suspended for, and then being sent home ON HIS OWN with a head injury?   eeek:
Beggars piggin' belief this.

What would have been the score if he'd collapsed behind the wheel of his car and crashed into a bus stop full of people I wionder?

This is pretty good attitude example as to why I told B.Gas to stick their job back in 1994. :thumbsup:
Couldn't give a flying turd attitude...."if it's too hot in the kitchen, GET OUT" eeek:!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on February 07, 2013, 12:50:08 AM
First Officer - "Flight Deck to Ground"
Ground (me) - "Good evening sir"
F.O. - "We have clearance and are ready to push back"
Me  - "Don't you want my checks first?"
F.O. - "Oh, if we must"
Me "All doors, hold and hatches are closed, safe and secured. Engines 2 & 1 are clear, the towbar is in place, the steering bypass pin is in place..."
F.O. "Enough of that old fanny, parking is brake is released can we go now!"


So I signal the pushback driver that the brakes are off and we start pushing the plane back

F.O. - "Am I clear to start engine 1?"
Me - "Not yet, sir, we have to make a sharp turn to face west and that brings me very close to engine 1. I'd rather not be diced up by a CFM56 engine tonight as I have 3 days off after this. Standby".

20 seconds later we're coming out of the tight turn

Me - "Clear to start engine 1 now, sir"
F.O. - " Starting engine 1".
Me - "In a hurry, sir? We're 10 minutes early as it is"
F.O. - "Sorry about that, I have a bad dose of the shits and I want to get off this plane ASAP. The toilet cubicles on this fuckin plane are tiny and when I had to go earlier I stank the place out"
Me - "Ermm...OK. Clear to start engine 2"
F.O. - "Two good engine starts, your clear to disconnect and we'll get the fuck out of here. See you on the right hand side with the steering pin".
Me - "Two good starts, we'll disconnect and I'll see you on the right hand side with the steering pin. I hope the brown rain stays away until you're in a more comfortable place"
F.O. - "The Holiday Inn Express in Geneva. And I bet the fuckin bar is closed. Goodnight!"

 ;D

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on February 07, 2013, 07:08:19 AM
 :thumbsup:

Those little moments that get you through the day  ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 07, 2013, 07:28:45 AM
First Officer - "Flight Deck to Ground"
Ground (me) - "Good evening sir"
F.O. - "We have clearance and are ready to push back"
Me  - "Don't you want my checks first?"
F.O. - "Oh, if we must"
Me "All doors, hold and hatches are closed, safe and secured. Engines 2 & 1 are clear, the towbar is in place, the steering bypass pin is in place..."
F.O. "Enough of that old fanny, parking is brake is released can we go now!"


So I signal the pushback driver that the brakes are off and we start pushing the plane back

F.O. - "Am I clear to start engine 1?"
Me - "Not yet, sir, we have to make a sharp turn to face west and that brings me very close to engine 1. I'd rather not be diced up by a CFM56 engine tonight as I have 3 days off after this. Standby".

20 seconds later we're coming out of the tight turn

Me - "Clear to start engine 1 now, sir"
F.O. - " Starting engine 1".
Me - "In a hurry, sir? We're 10 minutes early as it is"
F.O. - "Sorry about that, I have a bad dose of the shits and I want to get off this plane ASAP. The toilet cubicles on this fuckin plane are tiny and when I had to go earlier I stank the place out"
Me - "Ermm...OK. Clear to start engine 2"
F.O. - "Two good engine starts, your clear to disconnect and we'll get the fuck out of here. See you on the right hand side with the steering pin".
Me - "Two good starts, we'll disconnect and I'll see you on the right hand side with the steering pin. I hope the brown rain stays away until you're in a more comfortable place"
F.O. - "The Holiday Inn Express in Geneva. And I bet the fuckin bar is closed. Goodnight!"

 ;D

 lol: lol: lol:

SleasyJet...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 07, 2013, 07:55:58 PM
 lol: lol: Greasy Jet?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on February 08, 2013, 11:48:55 AM
What leads you both to that conclusion?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 08, 2013, 11:54:13 AM
What leads you both to that conclusion?  rubschin:

Shrugs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on February 16, 2013, 01:52:36 AM
Much fun on stand 105 and "Bagfax" (the place you go to if you have lost your luggage or missed your plane etc.) today.  176 cheery souls had booked a flight to Geneva. Nothing unusual there. However, when the inbound plane turned up it was an A319, which can only seat 156, not an A320 which can seat 180.

This has never happened before, to my knowledge.

The problem was soon realised and "they" decided that the "fairest" way to solve the problem was to simply tell the last 20 who checked-in that sorry - you'll have to get on the next one (which had enough spare seats). I wasn't at the boarding gate when this was announced, however, I believe there was a bit of uproar. Understandably.  Somehow though, they managed to persuade 20 to hold on for the next flight, 90 minutes later.

Stage 2 of he process was to then get their bags off the plane as by this time we had already loaded about 100 bags. We eventually found all the required bags and they were offed onto a luggage trailer, ready to be taken back to "Bagfax" to be reunited with those passengers getting on the next flight. At this point, something else went awry and the bags stayed put...

About an hour later "Bagfax" rang up to say they had 20 passengers screaming blue murder demanding their bags as they only had 30 minutes to check them back in for the next flight. The forgotten luggage trailer was found as as the chap in question was taking them back to Bagfax his electric buggy broke down  lol:  Another was sent but by the time he arrived at Bagfax there was only 15 minutes until the plane was due to depart.  The poor sod carried the first 2 bags in and apparently, was "set upon" by some angry passengers.  lol: He managed to escape but refused to take any more in until security turned up - which was 10 minutes later...check-in had closed the flight.

By now there are near riots in the Bagfax area  ;D ;D ;D

I understand that check-in was re-opened quick smart and they eventually all flew - albeit extremely late!

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 16, 2013, 07:26:49 AM
Much fun on stand 105 and "Bagfax" (the place you go to if you have lost your luggage or missed your plane etc.) today.  176 cheery souls had booked a flight to Geneva. Nothing unusual there. However, when the inbound plane turned up it was an A319, which can only seat 156, not an A320 which can seat 180.

This has never happened before, to my knowledge.

The problem was soon realised and "they" decided that the "fairest" way to solve the problem was to simply tell the last 20 who checked-in that sorry - you'll have to get on the next one (which had enough spare seats). I wasn't at the boarding gate when this was announced, however, I believe there was a bit of uproar. Understandably.  Somehow though, they managed to persuade 20 to hold on for the next flight, 90 minutes later.

Stage 2 of he process was to then get their bags off the plane as by this time we had already loaded about 100 bags. We eventually found all the required bags and they were offed onto a luggage trailer, ready to be taken back to "Bagfax" to be reunited with those passengers getting on the next flight. At this point, something else went awry and the bags stayed put...

About an hour later "Bagfax" rang up to say they had 20 passengers screaming blue murder demanding their bags as they only had 30 minutes to check them back in for the next flight. The forgotten luggage trailer was found as as the chap in question was taking them back to Bagfax his electric buggy broke down  lol:  Another was sent but by the time he arrived at Bagfax there was only 15 minutes until the plane was due to depart.  The poor sod carried the first 2 bags in and apparently, was "set upon" by some angry passengers.  lol: He managed to escape but refused to take any more in until security turned up - which was 10 minutes later...check-in had closed the flight.

By now there are near riots in the Bagfax area  ;D ;D ;D

I understand that check-in was re-opened quick smart and they eventually all flew - albeit extremely late!

 lol: lol: lol:

Which airline....?  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: GROWLER on February 16, 2013, 08:04:04 AM
Ahhhhhhhhhh, the 'joys' of going on holiday ey? Finger:


I'd rather be at werk. :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on February 19, 2013, 12:14:01 PM
Extremely foggy - so the LVP (low visibility procedure) was in place. Basically there are just bigger gaps between the plane movements.

I was using a wireless headset which are a bit crappy as the battery doesn't last too long and the problem is exacerbated during LVP as you have to keep the headset turned on, waiting for the First Officer to say we have clearance to push. On my 2nd job, that was half an hour.

On the third job, we had just started pushing and the FO asked for clearance to start engine 1, which I have him.

The engine cranked into life and then began pissing fuel from underneath  eeek:

And then my headset conked out  cussing:

I don't know if there are any official hand signals for fuel leaks so I improvised  ;D and he opened his window and asked what the "drip rate" of the leak was  eeek:  I said it was pissing out. He asked me to just monitor it for a minute or two, which I did and the pissing became drips which eventually stopped.

And off they went  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 19, 2013, 12:19:41 PM
Extremely foggy - so the LVP (low visibility procedure) was in place. Basically there are just bigger gaps between the plane movements.

I was using a wireless headset which are a bit crappy as the battery doesn't last too long and the problem is exacerbated during LVP as you have to keep the headset turned on, waiting for the First Officer to say we have clearance to push. On my 2nd job, that was half an hour.

On the third job, we had just started pushing and the FO asked for clearance to start engine 1, which I have him.

The engine cranked into life and then began pissing fuel from underneath  eeek:

And then my headset conked out  cussing:

I don't know if there are any official hand signals for fuel leaks so I improvised  ;D and he opened his window and asked what the "drip rate" of the leak was  eeek:  I said it was pissing out. He asked me to just monitor it for a minute or two, which I did and the pissing became drips which eventually stopped.

And off they went  :thumbsup:

 eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on February 19, 2013, 01:14:50 PM
Extremely foggy - so the LVP (low visibility procedure) was in place. Basically there are just bigger gaps between the plane movements.

I was using a wireless headset which are a bit crappy as the battery doesn't last too long and the problem is exacerbated during LVP as you have to keep the headset turned on, waiting for the First Officer to say we have clearance to push. On my 2nd job, that was half an hour.

On the third job, we had just started pushing and the FO asked for clearance to start engine 1, which I have him.

The engine cranked into life and then began pissing fuel from underneath  eeek:

And then my headset conked out  cussing:

I don't know if there are any official hand signals for fuel leaks so I improvised  ;D and he opened his window and asked what the "drip rate" of the leak was  eeek:  I said it was pissing out. He asked me to just monitor it for a minute or two, which I did and the pissing became drips which eventually stopped.

And off they went  :thumbsup:

 eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 19, 2013, 01:24:44 PM
To be fair, what seemed like a torrent of fuel to TMR was probably only a small drip to a normal sized person....
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on February 19, 2013, 01:29:29 PM
To be fair, what seemed like a torrent of fuel to TMR was probably only a small drip to a normal sized person....

Up to his ankles...... ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 19, 2013, 01:30:09 PM
To be fair, what seemed like a torrent of fuel to TMR was probably only a small drip to a normal sized person....

Up to his ankles...... ;D

Knees prolly... happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on February 19, 2013, 01:32:18 PM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on February 19, 2013, 01:34:46 PM
To be fair, what seemed like a torrent of fuel to TMR was probably only a small drip to a normal sized person....

Up to his ankles...... ;D

Knees prolly... happy001

I could have swum in it  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 19, 2013, 02:38:03 PM
To be fair, what seemed like a torrent of fuel to TMR was probably only a small drip to a normal sized person....

Up to his ankles...... ;D

Knees prolly... happy001

I could have swum in it  Thumbs:

happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on February 25, 2013, 02:04:01 PM
To be fair, what seemed like a torrent of fuel to TMR was probably only a small drip to a normal sized person....

Up to his ankles...... ;D

Knees prolly... happy001

I could have swum in it  Thumbs:

happy001

I wouldn't have thought you'd want to. Swim in it, that is. AFAIK AVTUR is not good to swim in . . . .
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 11, 2013, 09:11:52 PM
Without doubt the toughest 13 hours I've done at Gatwick.

It snowed all day - sometimes blizzardy, sometimes not so bad.  My little legs were blue with cold within 1/2 hour and they stayed that way for the next 12 1/2 hours.  For reasons I haven't yet fathomed, the bloke who does the headsets (me) also drives the open-topped loading belt from job to job. Some of these belts do about 30mph so driving them in a blizzard gives you the pleasure of having your retinas battered by the snow and ice.

The first 3 jobs we simply loaded the planes and then had to leave them sitting on stand as there was over an hour wait for de-icing.

I was then sent out to remote stand where the de-icing was taking place. As the planes pulled up - I, as headsets man - had to chock it, put the steering bypass pin in and connect the headset, then chat to the captain to see what he wanted de-iced, pass this on to the de-icing team, then standby whilst they did this (about 10 minutes) then talk to the captain again to give him clearance to restart engines, remove pin + chocks and send him on his way. I completely lost all feeling in my hands for the 2 1/2 hours I was doing it.

Then back to loading and leaving them again...

The snow came with a vengeance at about 6pm so by the time I left at 7pm the M23 was total chaos - crawling homeward at about 20mph - barely able to make out the lanes or cars in front. 

Horrible. Gonna have a couple of beers and go to bed  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 11, 2013, 09:14:39 PM
Without doubt the toughest 13 hours I've done at Gatwick.

It snowed all day - sometimes blizzardy, sometimes not so bad.  My little legs were blue with cold within 1/2 hour and they stayed that way for the next 12 1/2 hours.  For reasons I haven't yet fathomed, the bloke who does the headsets (me) also drives the open-topped loading belt from job to job. Some of these belts do about 30mph so driving them in a blizzard gives you the pleasure of having your retinas battered by the snow and ice.

The first 3 jobs we simply loaded the planes and then had to leave them sitting on stand as there was over an hour wait for de-icing.

I was then sent out to remote stand where the de-icing was taking place. As the planes pulled up - I, as headsets man - had to chock it, put the steering bypass pin in and connect the headset, then chat to the captain to see what he wanted de-iced, pass this on to the de-icing team, then standby whilst they did this (about 10 minutes) then talk to the captain again to give him clearance to restart engines, remove pin + chocks and send him on his way. I completely lost all feeling in my hands for the 2 1/2 hours I was doing it.

Then back to loading and leaving them again...

The snow came with a vengeance at about 6pm so by the time I left at 7pm the M23 was total chaos - crawling homeward at about 20mph - barely able to make out the lanes or cars in front. 

Horrible. Gonna have a couple of beers and go to bed  Thumbs:

 eeek:  but will make the beers taste better........... :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on March 11, 2013, 09:21:25 PM
^^^ Wot he said

You've earned it them
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 11, 2013, 09:24:42 PM
Without doubt the toughest 13 hours I've done at Gatwick.

It snowed all day - sometimes blizzardy, sometimes not so bad.  My little legs were blue with cold within 1/2 hour and they stayed that way for the next 12 1/2 hours.  For reasons I haven't yet fathomed, the bloke who does the headsets (me) also drives the open-topped loading belt from job to job. Some of these belts do about 30mph so driving them in a blizzard gives you the pleasure of having your retinas battered by the snow and ice.

The first 3 jobs we simply loaded the planes and then had to leave them sitting on stand as there was over an hour wait for de-icing.

I was then sent out to remote stand where the de-icing was taking place. As the planes pulled up - I, as headsets man - had to chock it, put the steering bypass pin in and connect the headset, then chat to the captain to see what he wanted de-iced, pass this on to the de-icing team, then standby whilst they did this (about 10 minutes) then talk to the captain again to give him clearance to restart engines, remove pin + chocks and send him on his way. I completely lost all feeling in my hands for the 2 1/2 hours I was doing it.

Then back to loading and leaving them again...

The snow came with a vengeance at about 6pm so by the time I left at 7pm the M23 was total chaos - crawling homeward at about 20mph - barely able to make out the lanes or cars in front. 

Horrible. Gonna have a couple of beers and go to bed  Thumbs:

 point:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Steve on March 12, 2013, 12:06:03 AM
Without doubt the toughest 13 hours I've done at Gatwick.

It snowed all day - sometimes blizzardy, sometimes not so bad.  My little legs were blue with cold within 1/2 hour and they stayed that way for the next 12 1/2 hours.  For reasons I haven't yet fathomed, the bloke who does the headsets (me) also drives the open-topped loading belt from job to job. Some of these belts do about 30mph so driving them in a blizzard gives you the pleasure of having your retinas battered by the snow and ice.

The first 3 jobs we simply loaded the planes and then had to leave them sitting on stand as there was over an hour wait for de-icing.

I was then sent out to remote stand where the de-icing was taking place. As the planes pulled up - I, as headsets man - had to chock it, put the steering bypass pin in and connect the headset, then chat to the captain to see what he wanted de-iced, pass this on to the de-icing team, then standby whilst they did this (about 10 minutes) then talk to the captain again to give him clearance to restart engines, remove pin + chocks and send him on his way. I completely lost all feeling in my hands for the 2 1/2 hours I was doing it.

Then back to loading and leaving them again...

The snow came with a vengeance at about 6pm so by the time I left at 7pm the M23 was total chaos - crawling homeward at about 20mph - barely able to make out the lanes or cars in front. 

Horrible. Gonna have a couple of beers and go to bed  Thumbs:
Well deserved beers TMR, glad to see you got home
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 15, 2013, 08:53:32 PM
Shear pin on an A320 bar went as we were pushing the plane out. It happens.

What happened after though  noooo: noooo: noooo:  All due to a fuckwitted Welsh  censored: And funnily enough, he's called Nick  cussing:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 16, 2013, 05:51:27 AM
Shear pin on an A320 bar went as we were pushing the plane out. It happens.

What happened after though  noooo: noooo: noooo:  All due to a fuckwitted Welsh  censored: And funnily enough, he's called Nick  cussing:

I suppose that is why they call it a 'shear pin' and not a 'never to break pin'...? ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 16, 2013, 06:48:47 AM
Shear pin on an A320 bar went as we were pushing the plane out. It happens.

What happened after though  noooo: noooo: noooo:  All due to a fuckwitted Welsh  censored: And funnily enough, he's called Nick  cussing:

I suppose that is why they call it a 'shear pin' and not a 'never to break pin'...? ::)

How does that work with stockings?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 16, 2013, 07:44:58 AM
Shear pin on an A320 bar went as we were pushing the plane out. It happens.

What happened after though  noooo: noooo: noooo:  All due to a fuckwitted Welsh  censored: And funnily enough, he's called Nick  cussing:

I suppose that is why they call it a 'shear pin' and not a 'never to break pin'...? ::)

How does that work with stockings?

*Predictable response klaxon*

I've never heard of 'never break stockings'....  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 16, 2013, 10:36:16 AM
Shear pin on an A320 bar went as we were pushing the plane out. It happens.

What happened after though  noooo: noooo: noooo:  All due to a fuckwitted Welsh  censored: And funnily enough, he's called Nick  cussing:

I suppose that is why they call it a 'shear pin' and not a 'never to break pin'...? ::)

How does that work with stockings?

*Predictable response klaxon*

I've never heard of 'never break stockings'....  rubschin:

I suppose it was all tights in your youth?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 16, 2013, 01:53:59 PM
Shear pin on an A320 bar went as we were pushing the plane out. It happens.

What happened after though  noooo: noooo: noooo:  All due to a fuckwitted Welsh  censored: And funnily enough, he's called Nick  cussing:

I suppose that is why they call it a 'shear pin' and not a 'never to break pin'...? ::)

I suppose that's why I wrote "It happens"  ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 16, 2013, 01:56:28 PM
Shear pin on an A320 bar went as we were pushing the plane out. It happens.

What happened after though  noooo: noooo: noooo:  All due to a fuckwitted Welsh  censored: And funnily enough, he's called Nick  cussing:

I suppose that is why they call it a 'shear pin' and not a 'never to break pin'...? ::)

I suppose that's why I wrote "It happens"  ::) ::) ::)

 lol: lol: lol:

Are you at werk? The kids are on their way back....  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 16, 2013, 01:58:11 PM
Shear pin on an A320 bar went as we were pushing the plane out. It happens.

What happened after though  noooo: noooo: noooo:  All due to a fuckwitted Welsh  censored: And funnily enough, he's called Nick  cussing:

I suppose that is why they call it a 'shear pin' and not a 'never to break pin'...? ::)

I suppose that's why I wrote "It happens"  ::) ::) ::)

 lol: lol: lol:

Are you at werk? The kids are on their way back....  whistle:

Not today - beer and rugby today  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 16, 2013, 01:59:23 PM
Shear pin on an A320 bar went as we were pushing the plane out. It happens.

What happened after though  noooo: noooo: noooo:  All due to a fuckwitted Welsh  censored: And funnily enough, he's called Nick  cussing:

I suppose that is why they call it a 'shear pin' and not a 'never to break pin'...? ::)

I suppose that's why I wrote "It happens"  ::) ::) ::)

 lol: lol: lol:

Are you at werk? The kids are on their way back....  whistle:

Not today - beer and rugby today  :thumbsup:

::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 16, 2013, 02:32:30 PM
Shear pin on an A320 bar went as we were pushing the plane out. It happens.

What happened after though  noooo: noooo: noooo:  All due to a fuckwitted Welsh  censored: And funnily enough, he's called Nick  cussing:

I suppose that is why they call it a 'shear pin' and not a 'never to break pin'...? ::)

I suppose that's why I wrote "It happens"  ::) ::) ::)

 lol: lol: lol:

Are you at werk? The kids are on their way back....  whistle:

Not today - beer and rugby today  :thumbsup:

::)

That means that "A" shift will be unloading the plane. They might get their bags about 9pm... noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 16, 2013, 03:37:58 PM
Shear pin on an A320 bar went as we were pushing the plane out. It happens.

What happened after though  noooo: noooo: noooo:  All due to a fuckwitted Welsh  censored: And funnily enough, he's called Nick  cussing:

I suppose that is why they call it a 'shear pin' and not a 'never to break pin'...? ::)

I suppose that's why I wrote "It happens"  ::) ::) ::)

 lol: lol: lol:

Are you at werk? The kids are on their way back....  whistle:

Not today - beer and rugby today  :thumbsup:

::)

That means that "A" shift will be unloading the plane. They might get their bags about 9pm... noooo:

happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on March 16, 2013, 05:43:35 PM
Shear pin on an A320 bar went as we were pushing the plane out. It happens.

What happened after though  noooo: noooo: noooo:  All due to a fuckwitted Welsh  censored: And funnily enough, he's called Nick  cussing:

I'm tired of holding my breath here! WTF happened after the shear-pin sheared that was the source of the brouhaha?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 16, 2013, 08:38:54 PM
Bloody hell that was a quick visit you must have really pissed them off.........Top man.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 17, 2013, 05:53:53 AM
Bloody hell that was a quick visit you must have really pissed them off.........Top man.  :thumbsup:

 cloud9:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 17, 2013, 08:11:20 AM
Just read the other thread. happy100 happy100
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 17, 2013, 08:12:23 AM
Just read the other thread. happy100 happy100

Tar!  goodjob:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 31, 2013, 12:36:12 AM
It's started already  noooo:

SleazyJets in tonight from "summer" places - Bodrum, Kos, Rhodes, Izmir, Antalya and Dalaman. I'm sure when I started 2 years ago we didn't see them until late April/early May. Today (yesterday - Saturday) was mad busy - SleazyJet alone had 25,000 passengers.

Today (Sunday) they'll have 40,000. I'm back in at 09:30 for a "short" 12 hour shift so time for bed...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on March 31, 2013, 06:25:00 AM
It's started already  noooo:

SleazyJets in tonight from "summer" places - Bodrum, Kos, Rhodes, Izmir, Antalya and Dalaman. I'm sure when I started 2 years ago we didn't see them until late April/early May. Today (yesterday - Saturday) was mad busy - SleazyJet alone had 25,000 passengers.

Today (Sunday) they'll have 40,000. I'm back in at 09:30 for a "short" 12 hour shift so time for bed...

Gis a job!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 31, 2013, 06:41:45 PM
The new shift pattern started today.  Complete clusterfuck. Thank god I'm out of here at 21.30.
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 31, 2013, 06:46:46 PM
The new shift pattern started today.  Complete clusterfuck. Thank god I'm out of here at 21.30.

Have a beer...... :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on March 31, 2013, 07:43:08 PM
75 mins before the first one 8)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 01, 2013, 09:19:29 PM
I really can't see this late shift lasting; at 9.15, 12 of us leave - that's 4 offload teams. That only leaves about 8 permanent members of staff plus about 8 new temps who can't drive any of the vehicles yet. As at 22:00 there were still 37 more flights to come in - most of them the "biggies" - Dalaman, Sharm, Hurghada, Paphos etc.

They're well and truly fecked. Apparently last night planes were on the ground for over an hour before anyone got to them - what a shambles.

I predict my new late shift will be 16.30 - 01:00 and that will start within a fortnight.

Oh, and I had a suitcase today with "Guaranteed for 5 years" emblazoned on it.  The manufacturer really shouldn't set me challenges like that... whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on April 01, 2013, 09:21:15 PM
I really can't see this late shift lasting; at 9.15, 12 of us leave - that's 4 offload teams. That only leaves about 8 permanent members of staff plus about 8 new temps who can't drive any of the vehicles yet. As at 22:00 there were still 37 more flights to come in - most of them the "biggies" - Dalaman, Sharm, Hurghada, Paphos etc.

They're well and truly fecked. Apparently last night planes were on the ground for over an hour before anyone got to them - what a shambles.

I predict my new late shift will be 16.30 - 01:00 and that will start within a fortnight.

Oh, and I had a suitcase today with "Guaranteed for 5 years" emblazoned on it.  The manufacturer really shouldn't set me challenges like that... whistle:

 lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 02, 2013, 05:38:31 AM
I really can't see this late shift lasting; at 9.15, 12 of us leave - that's 4 offload teams. That only leaves about 8 permanent members of staff plus about 8 new temps who can't drive any of the vehicles yet. As at 22:00 there were still 37 more flights to come in - most of them the "biggies" - Dalaman, Sharm, Hurghada, Paphos etc.

They're well and truly fecked. Apparently last night planes were on the ground for over an hour before anyone got to them - what a shambles.

I predict my new late shift will be 16.30 - 01:00 and that will start within a fortnight.

Oh, and I had a suitcase today with "Guaranteed for 5 years" emblazoned on it.  The manufacturer really shouldn't set me challenges like that... whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:

Why on earth did they change the shifts like that...?  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 02, 2013, 10:20:57 AM
I really can't see this late shift lasting; at 9.15, 12 of us leave - that's 4 offload teams. That only leaves about 8 permanent members of staff plus about 8 new temps who can't drive any of the vehicles yet. As at 22:00 there were still 37 more flights to come in - most of them the "biggies" - Dalaman, Sharm, Hurghada, Paphos etc.

They're well and truly fecked. Apparently last night planes were on the ground for over an hour before anyone got to them - what a shambles.

I predict my new late shift will be 16.30 - 01:00 and that will start within a fortnight.

Oh, and I had a suitcase today with "Guaranteed for 5 years" emblazoned on it.  The manufacturer really shouldn't set me challenges like that... whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:

Why on earth did they change the shifts like that...?  noooo:

I have no idea - there's no contingency built in either. If everything gets delayed for a couple of hours (say if French Air Traffic strike) then we would still be trying to send planes out at 23:00 which we couldn't do as most of the pushback drivers and headsets men would hae gone home  noooo:

Still, plenty of overtime for me  ;D Friday, Saturday and Sunday I'm doing 10 hours overtime each day, Monday and Tuesday 3 hours an probably 7 1/2 on Wednesday  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Steve on April 02, 2013, 11:55:37 AM
Phrases I rarely use:  "thankfully, our next flights are from Heathrow"
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 02, 2013, 12:00:58 PM
I am hoping to go to Pink Sis's place in Spain (reasonable rates) next month, arriving the day Pasties leaves. East Midlands  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Steve on April 02, 2013, 12:03:23 PM
. . . East Midlands  :thumbsup:
noooo:    Bastard airport with a sodding supermarket in the middle of it and an information desk that will not tell you where the Avis car rental is because they were having a disagreement with Avis


Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 02, 2013, 12:04:45 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Steve on April 02, 2013, 12:19:51 PM
It was 2010 so maybe all better now.  Very embarrassing though as I was flying in from Edinburgh with senior guy from USA and we had to go play hunt the car rental.  Seems Avis were refusing to pay an increased access fee for their discourtesy buses.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 02, 2013, 03:21:34 PM
It was 2010 so maybe all better now.  Very embarrassing though as I was flying in from Edinburgh with senior guy from USA and we had to go play hunt the car rental.  Seems Avis were refusing to pay an increased access fee for their discourtesy buses.

No buses to/from planes in Pafos now...  noooo:

They put the price up and the airlines refused to pay it... result = no buses... Walk to the plane.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on April 02, 2013, 03:23:46 PM
It was 2010 so maybe all better now.  Very embarrassing though as I was flying in from Edinburgh with senior guy from USA and we had to go play hunt the car rental.  Seems Avis were refusing to pay an increased access fee for their discourtesy buses.

No buses to/from planes in Pafos now...  noooo:

They put the price up and the airlines refused to pay it... result = no buses... Walk to the plane.

They  got cattle pens now...... rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 02, 2013, 03:24:14 PM
It was 2010 so maybe all better now.  Very embarrassing though as I was flying in from Edinburgh with senior guy from USA and we had to go play hunt the car rental.  Seems Avis were refusing to pay an increased access fee for their discourtesy buses.

No buses to/from planes in Pafos now...  noooo:

They put the price up and the airlines refused to pay it... result = no buses... Walk to the plane.

They  got cattle pens now...... rubschin:

Indeed...  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 02, 2013, 03:31:49 PM
If memory serves,  it was not a long bus journey - a minute or so. Hardly a long walk :P
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on April 02, 2013, 03:33:25 PM
If memory serves,  it was not a long bus journey - a minute or so. Hardly a long walk :P

Not for us maybe, but for you, with those little legs . . .  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on April 02, 2013, 03:33:55 PM
If memory serves,  it was not a long bus journey - a minute or so. Hardly a long walk :P

For normal sized legs....  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on April 02, 2013, 03:35:20 PM
If memory serves,  it was not a long bus journey - a minute or so. Hardly a long walk :P

For normal sized legs....  whistle:

Beat you to it.     point:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on April 02, 2013, 03:36:17 PM
If memory serves,  it was not a long bus journey - a minute or so. Hardly a long walk :P

For normal sized legs....  whistle:

Beat you to it.     point:

I was searching for the name of those baby luggage things that you pull them along on....  redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 02, 2013, 03:37:05 PM
Trunki!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on April 02, 2013, 03:38:26 PM
Trunki!  Thumbs:

Sounds like something from Ikea to me - prolly a set of knife holders or summat . . .
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 02, 2013, 03:39:04 PM
If memory serves,  it was not a long bus journey - a minute or so. Hardly a long walk :P

For normal sized legs....  whistle:

Beat you to it.     point:

I was searching for the name of those baby luggage things that you pull them along on....  redface:
You snooze, you lose  point: point: point: point:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 02, 2013, 03:39:35 PM
If memory serves,  it was not a long bus journey - a minute or so. Hardly a long walk :P

For normal sized legs....  whistle:

Beat you to it.     point:

I was searching for the name of those baby luggage things that you pull them along on....  redface:
You snooze, you lose  point: point: point: point:

 redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 02, 2013, 04:11:20 PM
::)

I see the three unwise monkeys are in predictable form...

O:-)
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on April 02, 2013, 04:15:39 PM
::)

I see the three unwise monkeys are in predictable form...

O:-)

 angel1
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 02, 2013, 04:23:35 PM
tHE BASTARD NEVER REPLIED TO MY pm  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 02, 2013, 05:05:23 PM
tHE BASTARD NEVER REPLIED TO MY pm  noooo:

Wot pm?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on April 02, 2013, 05:11:13 PM
sENT AGAIN  ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on April 02, 2013, 05:59:30 PM
sENT AGAIN  ::)

Did you send it to TMR or tmr...? ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: boogs on April 02, 2013, 08:21:55 PM
It was 2010 so maybe all better now.  Very embarrassing though as I was flying in from Edinburgh with senior guy from USA and we had to go play hunt the car rental.  Seems Avis were refusing to pay an increased access fee for their discourtesy buses.

I have to say I have used EM dozens of times over the years and apart from the time the renovations were being partaking never had a problem... Shrugs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on April 02, 2013, 08:23:03 PM
sENT AGAIN  ::)

Did you send it to TMR or tmr...? ::)

my guess tMR........ whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Steve on April 02, 2013, 10:34:59 PM
It was 2010 so maybe all better now.  Very embarrassing though as I was flying in from Edinburgh with senior guy from USA and we had to go play hunt the car rental.  Seems Avis were refusing to pay an increased access fee for their discourtesy buses.

I have to say I have used EM dozens of times over the years and apart from the time the renovations were being partaking never had a problem... Shrugs:

But you live there.  You try arriving with VIP guest to pick up Avis rental car to drive to near Lincoln for meeting.  Jeez were we late.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 10, 2013, 11:11:22 PM
I'm definitely in the wrong job. All I hear is:-

1) We can only do 1 plane at a time and we'll do it at our own speed
2) I'm not rushing
3) The plane goes when the plane goes
4) It's only bags.

And more.

It's not "only bags", it's people's possessions, it can be the difference between a good and a bad holiday and - at this time of night - all you want to do, as a passenger, is get your bags and go home.

The majority of people I work with have always worked at Gatwick and it is their life. But they are lazy bastards and the first to whinge when they are delayed due to the prevalent laziness.

 evil:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on April 10, 2013, 11:13:29 PM
I'm definitely in the wrong job. All I hear is:-

1) We can only do 1 plane at a time and we'll do it at our own speed
2) I'm not rushing
3) The plane goes when the plane goes
4) It's only bags.

And more.

It's not "only bags", it's people's possessions, it can be the difference between a good and a bad holiday and - at this time of night - all you want to do, as a passenger, is get your bags and go home.

The majority of people I work with have always worked at Gatwick and it is their life. But they are lazy bastards and the first to whinge when they are delayed due to the prevalent laziness.

 evil:

Didn't you go for another job recently........ rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on April 10, 2013, 11:15:04 PM
I'm definitely in the wrong job. All I hear is:-

1) We can only do 1 plane at a time and we'll do it at our own speed
2) I'm not rushing
3) The plane goes when the plane goes
4) It's only bags.

And more.

It's not "only bags", it's people's possessions, it can be the difference between a good and a bad holiday and - at this time of night - all you want to do, as a passenger, is get your bags and go home.

The majority of people I work with have always worked at Gatwick and it is their life. But they are lazy bastards and the first to whinge when they are delayed due to the prevalent laziness.

 evil:

Didn't you go for another job recently........ rubschin:

Work in progress, don't expect any movement on that until July/August.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on April 11, 2013, 10:36:27 AM
I'm definitely in the wrong job. All I hear is:-

1) We can only do 1 plane at a time and we'll do it at our own speed
2) I'm not rushing
3) The plane goes when the plane goes
4) It's only bags.

And more.

It's not "only bags", it's people's possessions, it can be the difference between a good and a bad holiday and - at this time of night - all you want to do, as a passenger, is get your bags and go home.

The majority of people I work with have always worked at Gatwick and it is their life. But they are lazy bastards and the first to whinge when they are delayed due to the prevalent laziness.

 evil:

Didn't you go for another job recently........ rubschin:

Work in progress, don't expect any movement on that until July/August.

There is a spare gap at the pond near Aces Bar in Paphos.  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 13, 2013, 08:14:04 PM
Complete. Cluster. Fuck. I could write pages about the place, but tonight I am just going to have a couple of  beers and then sleep  cussing:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on May 13, 2013, 08:16:07 PM
Complete. Cluster. Fuck. I could write pages about the place, but tonight I am just going to have a couple of  beers and then sleep  cussing:

 Popcorn:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 13, 2013, 08:29:23 PM
Complete. Cluster. Fuck. I could write pages about the place, but tonight I am just going to have a couple of  beers and then sleep  cussing:

 Popcorn:

I'll give you "annualised hours" for starters, but if I have any energy in the morning, I'll write it all up.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on May 13, 2013, 08:41:10 PM
Complete. Cluster. Fuck. I could write pages about the place, but tonight I am just going to have a couple of  beers and then sleep  cussing:

 Popcorn:

I'll give you "annualised hours" for starters, but if I have any energy in the morning, I'll write it all up.

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on May 13, 2013, 09:14:52 PM
Complete. Cluster. Fuck. I could write pages about the place, but tonight I am just going to have a couple of  beers and then sleep  cussing:

Have 4...... :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 15, 2013, 10:07:57 PM
Annualised hours. What a gem they wish to foist upon us.

During the summer/holiday period, we will be working an average of 50 hours per week (more on this later) and during the slack/winter period an average of 30 per week.  So.....even though for the next 4 months we will be doing an average of 50 hours per week, they will only pay us for 40. After that, we will only average 30 per week, but they will pay us for 40.

Fuck. That.

If I work 50 hours per week, I want to be paid for it. I want the money now, to enjoy the summer if I can, not "banked" for future fewer hours. Wonder how much interest they will earn on our "banked" money?

The new shift pattern (6 days on followed by 3 off) is not changed, but the hours within are. And they change from week to week. It all starts on 17th June where I begin with a 05:00-09:00 short day. This is followed by a 05:00-18:00 long day. After this are two 07:00-20:00 days, then a 08:30-21.30 day and finally a 17:00-21:00 short day. Then 3 days off.

The start times can vary between 04:30 and 10:30 and the end times finish up to 23:30. There's an 18 week plan somewhere which shows it all and for at least 4 of those shift I will have days where I do 13 hours four days on the trot.

It also screws your holiday usage up as we are obliged to take a certain number of hours of during May-October. With these new hours, taking 6 days off is now going to "cost" me 60 hours; at present it only would cost me about 50.

Bastards.

Next up is the "plan" to save a certain airline's costs at Gatwick - they charged a certain amount for how long a plane is on stand at the main terminal buildings (that have the airbridges to allow passengers on and off). So.....the plan is, get the plane on stand, get the passengers all off - then we tow the plane to a remote (considerably cheaper) stand, get all the bags off, get all the outbound bags on, tow it back to a stand, get the passengers on, collect the last few "gate" bags and then push it out for take-off. All in 35 minutes.
 noooo: noooo: noooo:

BA and Virgin do this with their planes, but these are "big" planes on transatlantic routes and they can otherwise be on a stand for 2+ hours. They get towed off up to the area near the cargo sheds, as these planes also have humungous amounts of cargo to carry - so it makes sense for them. But not for bucket and spade flights to Fuertaventura et al  noooo:

Muppets. Utter muppets.

And they wonder why a large number of our staff are applying for jobs at the other ground handlers on the airport...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on May 16, 2013, 12:37:35 AM
 noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on May 16, 2013, 07:18:27 AM
 noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 23, 2013, 08:22:08 AM
Champions League final on 26th May. Two German teams playing at Wembley.  And a Bank Holiday weekend.

The company rely on 30 people to do overtime each day to meet operational requirements. Lufthansa send us 1 flight a day normally. On the 25th it will be 23 - mainly A321s, but also a couple of A340s and an A380. WE don't have the equipment to deal with 340s or 380s, so they've had to hire it (for a month).  noooo:

So in protest of the new hours they want to bring in, NO-ONE is doing overtime on 25/26/27 May  ;D

They've tried to get people in from Heathrow - they got none.

They've asked the other 2 handlers at Gatwick to help with he 340s and 380s - request denied.

They've told people who had holiday booked that it's been cancelled - they've been ignored.

They've phoned people who are already on holiday (in one case in Miami) and asked them to come back early  eeek: - no joy.

They've tried bribing us with the "chance to win a 42in LCD TV" if we do more than 4 hours overtime during that period - we all laughed.

 Finger:

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on May 23, 2013, 08:27:55 AM
Champions League final on 26th May. Two German teams playing at Wembley.  And a Bank Holiday weekend.

The company rely on 30 people to do overtime each day to meet operational requirements. Lufthansa send us 1 flight a day normally. On the 25th it will be 23 - mainly A321s, but also a couple of A340s and an A380. WE don't have the equipment to deal with 340s or 380s, so they've had to hire it (for a month).  noooo:

So in protest of the new hours they want to bring in, NO-ONE is doing overtime on 25/26/27 May  ;D

They've tried to get people in from Heathrow - they got none.

They've asked the other 2 handlers at Gatwick to help with he 340s and 380s - request denied.

They've told people who had holiday booked that it's been cancelled - they've been ignored.

They've phoned people who are already on holiday (in one case in Miami) and asked them to come back early  eeek: - no joy.

They've tried bribing us with the "chance to win a 42in LCD TV" if we do more than 4 hours overtime during that period - we all laughed.

 Finger:

 lol: lol: lol: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on May 23, 2013, 08:31:16 AM
Champions League final on 26th May. Two German teams playing at Wembley.  And a Bank Holiday weekend.

The company rely on 30 people to do overtime each day to meet operational requirements. Lufthansa send us 1 flight a day normally. On the 25th it will be 23 - mainly A321s, but also a couple of A340s and an A380. WE don't have the equipment to deal with 340s or 380s, so they've had to hire it (for a month).  noooo:

So in protest of the new hours they want to bring in, NO-ONE is doing overtime on 25/26/27 May  ;D

They've tried to get people in from Heathrow - they got none.

They've asked the other 2 handlers at Gatwick to help with he 340s and 380s - request denied.

They've told people who had holiday booked that it's been cancelled - they've been ignored.

They've phoned people who are already on holiday (in one case in Miami) and asked them to come back early  eeek: - no joy.

They've tried bribing us with the "chance to win a 42in LCD TV" if we do more than 4 hours overtime during that period - we all laughed.

 Finger:

 happ096
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on May 23, 2013, 09:11:17 AM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on May 23, 2013, 05:00:32 PM
Far too many organisations out there don't realise the cost of goodwill

Nice one  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: boogs on May 23, 2013, 06:03:56 PM
Far too many organisations out there don't realise the cost of goodwill

Nice one  :thumbsup:

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 24, 2013, 06:20:24 AM
Far too many organisations out there don't realise the cost of goodwill

Nice one  :thumbsup:

 :thumbsup:
^^^^^^^^^
Wot all said
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Steve on May 24, 2013, 12:27:21 PM
and now Heathrow is gubbed, pressure on Gatwick increases?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on May 24, 2013, 12:28:56 PM
and now Heathrow is gubbed, pressure on Gatwick increases?

Wrong type of birds.... noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 24, 2013, 02:00:30 PM
Oh yes !  A multitude of different airlines have been diverted here.
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: boogs on May 24, 2013, 02:17:17 PM
Oh yes !  A multitude of different airlines have been diverted here.

I would have thought Gatwick is the only airport left working fully at the moment.... ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 24, 2013, 09:49:12 PM
20 blokes from our operation in Glasgow are flying down tomorrow to help out.

Or rather, were flying down to help out. They were told "they are just really busy this weekend". They somehow  redface: found out the real reason behind it and now only 6 are coming and they are temps who can do basically do diddly squat  ;D

I'm there from 13:00-21.30 tomorrow and - like my colleagues - will take a "relaxed" attitude to my duties, rather than my usual flat-out "TMRminator" work ethic.

The Lufthansas will swarm down on West Sussex and be met by a fine display of abject apathy  :thumbsup:

I can't wait  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on May 24, 2013, 09:56:51 PM
London is full of pissed Krauts noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on May 25, 2013, 05:49:30 AM
20 blokes from our operation in Glasgow are flying down tomorrow to help out.

Or rather, were flying down to help out. They were told "they are just really busy this weekend". They somehow  redface: found out the real reason behind it and now only 6 are coming and they are temps who can do basically do diddly squat  ;D

I'm there from 13:00-21.30 tomorrow and - like my colleagues - will take a "relaxed" attitude to my duties, rather than my usual flat-out "TMRminator" work ethic.

The Lufthansas will swarm down on West Sussex and be met by a fine display of abject apathy  :thumbsup:

I can't wait  lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: boogs on May 25, 2013, 06:36:28 AM
20 blokes from our operation in Glasgow are flying down tomorrow to help out.

Or rather, were flying down to help out. They were told "they are just really busy this weekend". They somehow  redface: found out the real reason behind it and now only 6 are coming and they are temps who can do basically do diddly squat  ;D

I'm there from 13:00-21.30 tomorrow and - like my colleagues - will take a "relaxed" attitude to my duties, rather than my usual flat-out "TMRminator" work ethic.

The Lufthansas will swarm down on West Sussex and be met by a fine display of abject apathy  :thumbsup:

I can't wait  lol:

With any luck you guys can hold them up long enough to miss their match... just to piss them off...  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Steve on May 25, 2013, 10:46:52 AM
20 blokes from our operation in Glasgow are flying down tomorrow to help out.

Or rather, were flying down to help out. They were told "they are just really busy this weekend". They somehow  redface: found out the real reason behind it and now only 6 are coming and they are temps who can do basically do diddly squat  ;D

I'm there from 13:00-21.30 tomorrow and - like my colleagues - will take a "relaxed" attitude to my duties, rather than my usual flat-out "TMRminator" work ethic.

The Lufthansas will swarm down on West Sussex and be met by a fine display of abject apathy  :thumbsup:

I can't wait  lol:

With any luck you guys can hold them up long enough to miss their match... just to piss them off...  :thumbsup:
hmmmm

Not right imho to gloat over footie supporters distress on account of Airwick Gatport management being arses
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 25, 2013, 11:48:02 AM
20 blokes from our operation in Glasgow are flying down tomorrow to help out.

Or rather, were flying down to help out. They were told "they are just really busy this weekend". They somehow  redface: found out the real reason behind it and now only 6 are coming and they are temps who can do basically do diddly squat  ;D

I'm there from 13:00-21.30 tomorrow and - like my colleagues - will take a "relaxed" attitude to my duties, rather than my usual flat-out "TMRminator" work ethic.

The Lufthansas will swarm down on West Sussex and be met by a fine display of abject apathy  :thumbsup:

I can't wait  lol:

With any luck you guys can hold them up long enough to miss their match... just to piss them off...  :thumbsup:
hmmmm

Not right imho to gloat over footie supporters distress on account of Airwick Gatport management being arses

Fear not Steve, our Tectonic friends are all safely on their way to Wem-ber-ley.
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on May 25, 2013, 11:51:50 AM
20 blokes from our operation in Glasgow are flying down tomorrow to help out.

Or rather, were flying down to help out. They were told "they are just really busy this weekend". They somehow  redface: found out the real reason behind it and now only 6 are coming and they are temps who can do basically do diddly squat  ;D

I'm there from 13:00-21.30 tomorrow and - like my colleagues - will take a "relaxed" attitude to my duties, rather than my usual flat-out "TMRminator" work ethic.

The Lufthansas will swarm down on West Sussex and be met by a fine display of abject apathy  :thumbsup:

I can't wait  lol:

With any luck you guys can hold them up long enough to miss their match... just to piss them off...  :thumbsup:
hmmmm

Not right imho to gloat over footie supporters distress on account of Airwick Gatport management being arses

Fear not Steve, our Tectonic friends are all safely on their way to Wem-ber-ley.

Sans luggage....  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 25, 2013, 11:52:55 AM
20 blokes from our operation in Glasgow are flying down tomorrow to help out.

Or rather, were flying down to help out. They were told "they are just really busy this weekend". They somehow  redface: found out the real reason behind it and now only 6 are coming and they are temps who can do basically do diddly squat  ;D

I'm there from 13:00-21.30 tomorrow and - like my colleagues - will take a "relaxed" attitude to my duties, rather than my usual flat-out "TMRminator" work ethic.

The Lufthansas will swarm down on West Sussex and be met by a fine display of abject apathy  :thumbsup:

I can't wait  lol:

With any luck you guys can hold them up long enough to miss their match... just to piss them off...  :thumbsup:
hmmmm

Not right imho to gloat over footie supporters distress on account of Airwick Gatport management being arses

Fear not Steve, our Tectonic friends are all safely on their way to Wem-ber-ley.

Sans luggage....  whistle:

Naturellememt ;)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Steve on May 25, 2013, 12:06:30 PM
natürlich   surely


Did the arses of manglement blink?
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 25, 2013, 12:09:25 PM
natürlich   surely


Did the arses of manglement blink?

Haven't seen "management" - they're all out offloading planes ;D

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on May 25, 2013, 12:10:06 PM
 happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on May 25, 2013, 12:35:33 PM
natürlich   surely


Did the arses of manglement blink?

Haven't seen "management" - they're all out offloading planes ;D

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: barmisspah? on May 25, 2013, 01:30:12 PM
Serve"s em right
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Baldy on May 25, 2013, 09:54:55 PM
natürlich   surely


Did the arses of manglement blink?

Haven't seen "management" - they're all out offloading planes ;D

 lol: lol: lol: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on May 30, 2013, 04:55:43 PM
What. A. Day.  noooo:

It pissed down all day - apart from the last job, but that had its own "joys".

Despite the rain it started off okay as I was put with a decent team leader and we had a newbie with us. Who is quite old. The 4 "first wave" jobs went alright despite the fact I had to do lots extra as the noob can't do lots of things yet - like aircraft steps, towing the baggage any closer than 5 metres to the plane (H&S  ::)) and so forth. Anyhoo, after those jobs, it was 09:15 and he was going home.

We called up and were asked if the remaining 2 of us wanted another job, or a canteen break; we opted for the job - Amsterdam in, Sharm-el-Sheikh out. "We'll send someone else out to help when they become available. Suffice to say, no-one turned up and thus I loaded all 167 heoooge bags on my todd. Bastard Red Sea divers  evil: 

Then we had a canteen break, so I scooted off, had a couple of ciggies (outside, as they've closed the internal one in the South Terminal) and came back in through security...right behind 2 Virgin Atlantic crews who were off to Orlando and Las Vegas. This lot take an eon to get through security as they chat non-stop and invariably get beeped by the scanner. So by the time I was through I had about 5 minutes left of my break. Managed to get to Costa for a large Americano and a sandwich and back to the crew room. As soon as I got in, I was sent on another job - Palma Mallorca in, me to tip the bags at baggage reclaim. All 122 of them. Including 17 bikes  evil: From there onto stand 111 to do the tip for the Malaga. Halfway through offloading these bags I was informed that I was staying with the job to do the load-up and headset as the other chap had to bugger off to a Union meeting. The outbound was Amman and the bags for this flight are always monstrous. Our 3rd man on the job was on "light duties" due to a knackered shoulder. And so it was that I loaded 177 bags onto that one on my todd as well. Despite getting it all loaded in time, when I got on the headset to the Captain he informed me they'd missed their "slot" and asked if it was okay to push the plane to a "holding stand (43)", which is about 3/4 mile away.  I told him it was no problem and we began the push. And the heavens opened. Monsoonio  evil: By the time we got there, I was like a drowned rat.

Then back to the crew room. Quick cup of tea and then straight out for a "nice easy Edinburgh". We got to the stand and it was already being unloaded - result. The load up was delayed as the new flight crew were delayed - result. We had it all loaded and ready to go when the team leader received a phone call and asked if I wouldn't mind doing the headset on it - no problem.

I asked the Captain to release the parking brake and when it was released I gave the tug driver the signal to begin the push. After about ten seconds of extreme profanity it was obvious the pushback tug had no drive. He kept trying - no luck. I told the captain the problem and asked him to contact Air Traffic Control to cancel the pushback. We then phoned the office and asked them to send a replacement tug and the engineers. 10 minutes later the engineers arrived, sucked through their teeth and said "you know what that is, don't you?"  I replied that not being a grease monkey I was not aware. He climbed up the back of the tug, popped open the bonnet type thing and then went in head first. Much mumbling and then "try it now". Success, forward gear was found!  "It won't stay like this unless I stay here".

A few frantic phone calls later and thus it was we pushed the Edinburgh flight out, with an engineer head first in the bowels of a 15 tonne pushback tug.  noooo:

Back to the crew room, time for home. Got drenched walking to the staff bus and then, just as I was about to drive off in the luxurious comfort of the Lexus, another newbie came running up - "have you got any jump leads, I left my lights on".

I could have lied and said "no".

But I didn't. Back out into the rain to get his car started. Job jobbed. Home now. With trench foot.

But I have beer  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 30, 2013, 05:20:57 PM
What. A. Day.  noooo:

It pissed down all day - apart from the last job, but that had its own "joys".

Despite the rain it started off okay as I was put with a decent team leader and we had a newbie with us. Who is quite old. The 4 "first wave" jobs went alright despite the fact I had to do lots extra as the noob can't do lots of things yet - like aircraft steps, towing the baggage any closer than 5 metres to the plane (H&S  ::)) and so forth. Anyhoo, after those jobs, it was 09:15 and he was going home.

We called up and were asked if the remaining 2 of us wanted another job, or a canteen break; we opted for the job - Amsterdam in, Sharm-el-Sheikh out. "We'll send someone else out to help when they become available. Suffice to say, no-one turned up and thus I loaded all 167 heoooge bags on my todd. Bastard Red Sea divers  evil: 

Then we had a canteen break, so I scooted off, had a couple of ciggies (outside, as they've closed the internal one in the South Terminal) and came back in through security...right behind 2 Virgin Atlantic crews who were off to Orlando and Las Vegas. This lot take an eon to get through security as they chat non-stop and invariably get beeped by the scanner. So by the time I was through I had about 5 minutes left of my break. Managed to get to Costa for a large Americano and a sandwich and back to the crew room. As soon as I got in, I was sent on another job - Palma Mallorca in, me to tip the bags at baggage reclaim. All 122 of them. Including 17 bikes  evil: From there onto stand 111 to do the tip for the Malaga. Halfway through offloading these bags I was informed that I was staying with the job to do the load-up and headset as the other chap had to bugger off to a Union meeting. The outbound was Amman and the bags for this flight are always monstrous. Our 3rd man on the job was on "light duties" due to a knackered shoulder. And so it was that I loaded 177 bags onto that one on my todd as well. Despite getting it all loaded in time, when I got on the headset to the Captain he informed me they'd missed their "slot" and asked if it was okay to push the plane to a "holding stand (43)", which is about 3/4 mile away.  I told him it was no problem and we began the push. And the heavens opened. Monsoonio  evil: By the time we got there, I was like a drowned rat.

Then back to the crew room. Quick cup of tea and then straight out for a "nice easy Edinburgh". We got to the stand and it was already being unloaded - result. The load up was delayed as the new flight crew were delayed - result. We had it all loaded and ready to go when the team leader received a phone call and asked if I wouldn't mind doing the headset on it - no problem.

I asked the Captain to release the parking brake and when it was released I gave the tug driver the signal to begin the push. After about ten seconds of extreme profanity it was obvious the pushback tug had no drive. He kept trying - no luck. I told the captain the problem and asked him to contact Air Traffic Control to cancel the pushback. We then phoned the office and asked them to send a replacement tug and the engineers. 10 minutes later the engineers arrived, sucked through their teeth and said "you know what that is, don't you?"  I replied that not being a grease monkey I was not aware. He climbed up the back of the tug, popped open the bonnet type thing and then went in head first. Much mumbling and then "try it now". Success, forward gear was found!  "It won't stay like this unless I stay here".

A few frantic phone calls later and thus it was we pushed the Edinburgh flight out, with an engineer head first in the bowels of a 15 tonne pushback tug.  noooo:

Back to the crew room, time for home. Got drenched walking to the staff bus and then, just as I was about to drive off in the luxurious comfort of the Lexus, another newbie came running up - "have you got any jump leads, I left my lights on".

I could have lied and said "no".

But I didn't. Back out into the rain to get his car started. Job jobbed. Home now. With trench foot.

But I have beer  :thumbsup:

 worthy:

Apart from that an uneventful day?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on May 31, 2013, 07:18:32 AM
What. A. Day.  noooo:

It pissed down all day - apart from the last job, but that had its own "joys".

Despite the rain it started off okay as I was put with a decent team leader and we had a newbie with us. Who is quite old. The 4 "first wave" jobs went alright despite the fact I had to do lots extra as the noob can't do lots of things yet - like aircraft steps, towing the baggage any closer than 5 metres to the plane (H&S  ::)) and so forth. Anyhoo, after those jobs, it was 09:15 and he was going home.

We called up and were asked if the remaining 2 of us wanted another job, or a canteen break; we opted for the job - Amsterdam in, Sharm-el-Sheikh out. "We'll send someone else out to help when they become available. Suffice to say, no-one turned up and thus I loaded all 167 heoooge bags on my todd. Bastard Red Sea divers  evil: 

Then we had a canteen break, so I scooted off, had a couple of ciggies (outside, as they've closed the internal one in the South Terminal) and came back in through security...right behind 2 Virgin Atlantic crews who were off to Orlando and Las Vegas. This lot take an eon to get through security as they chat non-stop and invariably get beeped by the scanner. So by the time I was through I had about 5 minutes left of my break. Managed to get to Costa for a large Americano and a sandwich and back to the crew room. As soon as I got in, I was sent on another job - Palma Mallorca in, me to tip the bags at baggage reclaim. All 122 of them. Including 17 bikes  evil: From there onto stand 111 to do the tip for the Malaga. Halfway through offloading these bags I was informed that I was staying with the job to do the load-up and headset as the other chap had to bugger off to a Union meeting. The outbound was Amman and the bags for this flight are always monstrous. Our 3rd man on the job was on "light duties" due to a knackered shoulder. And so it was that I loaded 177 bags onto that one on my todd as well. Despite getting it all loaded in time, when I got on the headset to the Captain he informed me they'd missed their "slot" and asked if it was okay to push the plane to a "holding stand (43)", which is about 3/4 mile away.  I told him it was no problem and we began the push. And the heavens opened. Monsoonio  evil: By the time we got there, I was like a drowned rat.

Then back to the crew room. Quick cup of tea and then straight out for a "nice easy Edinburgh". We got to the stand and it was already being unloaded - result. The load up was delayed as the new flight crew were delayed - result. We had it all loaded and ready to go when the team leader received a phone call and asked if I wouldn't mind doing the headset on it - no problem.

I asked the Captain to release the parking brake and when it was released I gave the tug driver the signal to begin the push. After about ten seconds of extreme profanity it was obvious the pushback tug had no drive. He kept trying - no luck. I told the captain the problem and asked him to contact Air Traffic Control to cancel the pushback. We then phoned the office and asked them to send a replacement tug and the engineers. 10 minutes later the engineers arrived, sucked through their teeth and said "you know what that is, don't you?"  I replied that not being a grease monkey I was not aware. He climbed up the back of the tug, popped open the bonnet type thing and then went in head first. Much mumbling and then "try it now". Success, forward gear was found!  "It won't stay like this unless I stay here".

A few frantic phone calls later and thus it was we pushed the Edinburgh flight out, with an engineer head first in the bowels of a 15 tonne pushback tug.  noooo:

Back to the crew room, time for home. Got drenched walking to the staff bus and then, just as I was about to drive off in the luxurious comfort of the Lexus, another newbie came running up - "have you got any jump leads, I left my lights on".

I could have lied and said "no".

But I didn't. Back out into the rain to get his car started. Job jobbed. Home now. With trench foot.

But I have beer  :thumbsup:

You don't arf whinge on.... ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: boogs on May 31, 2013, 10:57:42 AM
You don't arf whinge on.... ::)

Look you.. when a hard werking person has finished a long hard day all he/she wants is to come to the pub and have a chat to their friends and get it all off their chest... They don't need the barman whose job it is to keep the customers happy to give them  'You don't arf whinge on.... ' noooo:

So you need to be doing morer pouring drinks and listening ....  ;)

BTW there are some smudges on the glasses above the optics ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on May 31, 2013, 11:17:57 AM
If it helps ..I had a clusterfuck of a day too......... noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: boogs on May 31, 2013, 11:29:59 AM
If it helps ..I had a clusterfuck of a day too......... noooo:

 happy100

Got to say me too.. evil:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on June 11, 2013, 10:39:38 AM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2339377/Police-called-Manchester-airport-calm-furious-travellers-forced-wait-TWO-HOURS-luggage.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2339377/Police-called-Manchester-airport-calm-furious-travellers-forced-wait-TWO-HOURS-luggage.html)

As TMR would say northerners......... noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 11, 2013, 11:32:28 AM
Fremch ATC are on strike ???
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on June 11, 2013, 11:50:44 AM
Fremch ATC are on strike ???

 eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on June 11, 2013, 11:52:14 AM
 point: point: point:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 11, 2013, 11:53:46 AM
point: point: point:

I won't tell them like....  redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 11, 2013, 09:39:04 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2339377/Police-called-Manchester-airport-calm-furious-travellers-forced-wait-TWO-HOURS-luggage.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2339377/Police-called-Manchester-airport-calm-furious-travellers-forced-wait-TWO-HOURS-luggage.html[/url])

As TMR would say northerners......... noooo:


Menzies Aviation, huh...I couldn't possibly comment... whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 12, 2013, 04:06:20 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2339377/Police-called-Manchester-airport-calm-furious-travellers-forced-wait-TWO-HOURS-luggage.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2339377/Police-called-Manchester-airport-calm-furious-travellers-forced-wait-TWO-HOURS-luggage.html[/url])

As TMR would say northerners......... noooo:


Menzies Aviation, huh...I couldn't possibly comment... whistle:


Did they turn you down...? happy100
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on June 13, 2013, 08:54:28 AM
So what was the problem at Gatwick in the early hours of Sunday 2nd June then?

Returning from Rhodes on Thomson and had to wait 45 mins for luggage which arrived ripped in two!

Was that you? Or some other shower?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 13, 2013, 09:15:00 AM
 scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 13, 2013, 11:44:19 AM
So what was the problem at Gatwick in the early hours of Sunday 2nd June then?

Returning from Rhodes on Thomson and had to wait 45 mins for luggage which arrived ripped in two!

Was that you? Or some other shower?

Swissport handle Thomson flight. Their workforce appear to be primarily tattooed baboons.  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on June 15, 2013, 04:39:27 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22920907 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22920907)

 scared2: scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: boogs on June 15, 2013, 06:12:36 PM
You will be fine if not follow instructions eeek:

Brace Brace Head Down Grab Your Ankle - Emergency Landing Air Bagan (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur5i6iQQ-ys#)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 15, 2013, 06:34:24 PM
[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22920907[/url] ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22920907[/url])

 scared2: scared2: scared2:


The thought of diverting to a Scottish airport must be a big deterrent to Al Qaeda.

MacTMR is just waiting to give them a good kicking.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on June 15, 2013, 06:51:15 PM
Fried Mars bars all round  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: boogs on June 15, 2013, 07:16:56 PM
[url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22920907[/url] ([url]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22920907[/url])

 scared2: scared2: scared2:


The thought of diverting to a Scottish airport must be a big deterrent to Al Qaeda.

MacTMR is just waiting to give them a good kicking.


They tried going in the front door at Glasgow and that is what they got... :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on June 15, 2013, 07:18:31 PM
Awaits DS  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 15, 2013, 10:44:01 PM
Awaits DS  whistle:
angel1
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Pirate on June 15, 2013, 11:42:17 PM
Awaits DS  whistle:
angel1


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fbirds%2Fchicken-run-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=6ca6617cd504b8385531edc0a6212107) (http://www.sherv.net/emoticons.html)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 16, 2013, 09:20:45 AM
Awaits DS  whistle:
angel1


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fbirds%2Fchicken-run-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=6ca6617cd504b8385531edc0a6212107[/url]) ([url]http://www.sherv.net/emoticons.html[/url])
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on June 16, 2013, 11:23:19 AM
Awaits DS  whistle:
angel1


([url]https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fbirds%2Fchicken-run-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=6ca6617cd504b8385531edc0a6212107[/url]) ([url]http://www.sherv.net/emoticons.html[/url])


He's alive!   Party001: Party001: Party001:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on June 18, 2013, 06:57:47 AM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343488/Chinese-freight-handlers-Hilarious-video-reveals-Chinese-freight-workers-throwing-packages-plane.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343488/Chinese-freight-handlers-Hilarious-video-reveals-Chinese-freight-workers-throwing-packages-plane.html)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on June 18, 2013, 07:08:04 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343488/Chinese-freight-handlers-Hilarious-video-reveals-Chinese-freight-workers-throwing-packages-plane.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343488/Chinese-freight-handlers-Hilarious-video-reveals-Chinese-freight-workers-throwing-packages-plane.html[/url])

 rubschin:


 lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 18, 2013, 07:14:34 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343488/Chinese-freight-handlers-Hilarious-video-reveals-Chinese-freight-workers-throwing-packages-plane.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343488/Chinese-freight-handlers-Hilarious-video-reveals-Chinese-freight-workers-throwing-packages-plane.html[/url])

 rubschin:


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 18, 2013, 09:51:27 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343488/Chinese-freight-handlers-Hilarious-video-reveals-Chinese-freight-workers-throwing-packages-plane.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343488/Chinese-freight-handlers-Hilarious-video-reveals-Chinese-freight-workers-throwing-packages-plane.html[/url])

 rubschin:


 lol: lol: lol:


 lol: lol: lol: lol:

He looks quite tall. . . .
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 18, 2013, 11:07:56 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343488/Chinese-freight-handlers-Hilarious-video-reveals-Chinese-freight-workers-throwing-packages-plane.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343488/Chinese-freight-handlers-Hilarious-video-reveals-Chinese-freight-workers-throwing-packages-plane.html[/url])

 rubschin:


 lol: lol: lol:


 lol: lol: lol: lol:

He looks quite tall. . . .


That's because he's standing on a pile of boxes. noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 18, 2013, 11:28:14 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343488/Chinese-freight-handlers-Hilarious-video-reveals-Chinese-freight-workers-throwing-packages-plane.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343488/Chinese-freight-handlers-Hilarious-video-reveals-Chinese-freight-workers-throwing-packages-plane.html[/url])

 rubschin:


 lol: lol: lol:


 lol: lol: lol: lol:

He looks quite tall. . . .


That's because he's standing on a pile of boxes. noooo:


Of course, silly me.  redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: barmisspah? on June 18, 2013, 11:47:45 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343488/Chinese-freight-handlers-Hilarious-video-reveals-Chinese-freight-workers-throwing-packages-plane.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2343488/Chinese-freight-handlers-Hilarious-video-reveals-Chinese-freight-workers-throwing-packages-plane.html[/url])

 rubschin:


 lol: lol: lol:


 lol: lol: lol: lol:

He looks quite tall. . . .


That's because he's standing on a pile of boxes. noooo:


 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 18, 2013, 11:57:15 AM
No hi-vis  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 18, 2013, 12:23:16 PM
No hi-vis  rubschin:

He is quite tall... he doesn't need one....  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 18, 2013, 12:35:05 PM
No hi-vis  rubschin:

That's cheating if we are supposed to be shooting him. noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on June 20, 2013, 04:58:35 AM
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4976339/BAs-4m-bill-after-baggage-handler-forgets-gadget-sucked-into-jet-engine-at-Heathrow.html (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4976339/BAs-4m-bill-after-baggage-handler-forgets-gadget-sucked-into-jet-engine-at-Heathrow.html)

Wrong airport..... rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 20, 2013, 05:58:41 AM
[url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4976339/BAs-4m-bill-after-baggage-handler-forgets-gadget-sucked-into-jet-engine-at-Heathrow.html[/url] ([url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4976339/BAs-4m-bill-after-baggage-handler-forgets-gadget-sucked-into-jet-engine-at-Heathrow.html[/url])

Wrong airport..... rubschin:


Tsk, tsk... tardy walk-around again....  noooo:

Kick the tires, light the fires and away we go these days....
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 20, 2013, 07:01:34 AM
We dont use the guns any more - they cost too much munny (6p per bag scanned).

We use "bingo cards" instead ::)

But BM is right - poor "walk-around".
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on June 20, 2013, 07:16:10 AM
We dont use the guns any more - they cost too much munny (6p per bag scanned).

We use "bingo cards" instead ::)

But BM is right - poor "walk-around".

 cloud9:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: boogs on June 20, 2013, 07:30:36 AM
We dont use the guns any more - they cost too much munny (6p per bag scanned).

We use "bingo cards" instead ::)

But BM is right - poor "walk-around".

Bingo cards  ....... eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on June 20, 2013, 07:34:57 AM
We dont use the guns any more - they cost too much munny (6p per bag scanned).

We use "bingo cards" instead ::)

But BM is right - poor "walk-around".

Bingo cards  ....... eeek:

The winner gets his luggage delivered to the right country..... happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: boogs on June 20, 2013, 07:37:04 AM
We dont use the guns any more - they cost too much munny (6p per bag scanned).

We use "bingo cards" instead ::)

But BM is right - poor "walk-around".

Bingo cards  ....... eeek:

The winner gets his luggage delivered to the right country..... happy001

 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 20, 2013, 09:21:10 AM
We dont use the guns any more - they cost too much munny (6p per bag scanned).

We use "bingo cards" instead ::)

But BM is right - poor "walk-around".

Bingo cards  ....... eeek:

The winner gets his luggage delivered to the right country..... happy001

 happy001 happy001
happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on June 20, 2013, 12:24:23 PM
Quote
"The baggage handler had been using the metal gun earlier this month to ensure the correct bags were loaded.
He left it on the engine’s cowling and forgot to pick it up again."

That's a bit worrying.  Just how long was this 'plane lumbering round with his "gun" sitting in the intake?

And, since it was a gun, WTF were security doing?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 22, 2013, 12:21:45 AM
Right. This new "summer" roster that's in place for 18 weeks. First off, it's total wank. There are 15 different start/finish times so your sleep pattern is going to get utterly confuddled before too long.

Then - and this is the killer for me - we are now in static teams of 3. Previously you worked with different people every day. The team I have been lumbered with is Brian "Dangerous" D and a noobie called Brian S, who I think is 194 years old. Dangerous Brian is the Team Leader by dint of the fact he can push planes out in the tug (I'm on a course next month to do this). He's okay though. The noobie, however, can do very little. And what he can do, he does very slowly.

We were given 2 Turkish Airlines jobs today - one after the other - and these are hard, hard jobs. Most of the bags are in the 30kg mark and there are usually about 180 of them, plus 1 tonne of cargo. All in A321's, which are fairly long planes, with holds like bowling alleys. I threw all the bags/cargo out of the inbound and the two Brians stacked them on the lorry. For the outbound, old Brian S simply couldn't throw the bags far enough so I plonked myself at the top of the loading belt and threw the bags and cargo down the hold to him to stack them. I must have hit him 10 times with various bags  redface: After about 7 minutes, he simply couldn't carry on, so I kicked him out of the hold and did it myself. Must admit I was sweating somewhat.

After those, we were given our first canteen break (we'd been out for 5 1/2 hours). I asked one of the Duty Manager's why I was "lucky enough" to be put in this team. He replied "Coz you're a fuckin nutter and we thought you'd enjoy it".

I can't see this "team" lasting 18 weeks  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 22, 2013, 05:01:32 AM
Right. This new "summer" roster that's in place for 18 weeks. First off, it's total wank. There are 15 different start/finish times so your sleep pattern is going to get utterly confuddled before too long.

Then - and this is the killer for me - we are now in static teams of 3. Previously you worked with different people every day. The team I have been lumbered with is Brian "Dangerous" D and a noobie called Brian S, who I think is 194 years old. Dangerous Brian is the Team Leader by dint of the fact he can push planes out in the tug (I'm on a course next month to do this). He's okay though. The noobie, however, can do very little. And what he can do, he does very slowly.

We were given 2 Turkish Airlines jobs today - one after the other - and these are hard, hard jobs. Most of the bags are in the 30kg mark and there are usually about 180 of them, plus 1 tonne of cargo. All in A321's, which are fairly long planes, with holds like bowling alleys. I threw all the bags/cargo out of the inbound and the two Brians stacked them on the lorry. For the outbound, old Brian S simply couldn't throw the bags far enough so I plonked myself at the top of the loading belt and threw the bags and cargo down the hold to him to stack them. I must have hit him 10 times with various bags  redface: After about 7 minutes, he simply couldn't carry on, so I kicked him out of the hold and did it myself. Must admit I was sweating somewhat.

After those, we were given our first canteen break (we'd been out for 5 1/2 hours). I asked one of the Duty Manager's why I was "lucky enough" to be put in this team. He replied "Coz you're a fuckin nutter and we thought you'd enjoy it".

I can't see this "team" lasting 18 weeks  noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:

&

worthy:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on June 22, 2013, 05:52:32 AM
 noooo:  The culture of the organisation stinks
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 22, 2013, 07:56:26 AM
noooo:  The culture of the organisation stinks
You forgot the " " around organisation.  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: boogs on June 22, 2013, 09:23:42 AM
Right. This new "summer" roster that's in place for 18 weeks. First off, it's total wank. There are 15 different start/finish times so your sleep pattern is going to get utterly confuddled before too long.

Then - and this is the killer for me - we are now in static teams of 3. Previously you worked with different people every day. The team I have been lumbered with is Brian "Dangerous" D and a noobie called Brian S, who I think is 194 years old. Dangerous Brian is the Team Leader by dint of the fact he can push planes out in the tug (I'm on a course next month to do this). He's okay though. The noobie, however, can do very little. And what he can do, he does very slowly.

We were given 2 Turkish Airlines jobs today - one after the other - and these are hard, hard jobs. Most of the bags are in the 30kg mark and there are usually about 180 of them, plus 1 tonne of cargo. All in A321's, which are fairly long planes, with holds like bowling alleys. I threw all the bags/cargo out of the inbound and the two Brians stacked them on the lorry. For the outbound, old Brian S simply couldn't throw the bags far enough so I plonked myself at the top of the loading belt and threw the bags and cargo down the hold to him to stack them. I must have hit him 10 times with various bags  redface: After about 7 minutes, he simply couldn't carry on, so I kicked him out of the hold and did it myself. Must admit I was sweating somewhat.

After those, we were given our first canteen break (we'd been out for 5 1/2 hours). I asked one of the Duty Manager's why I was "lucky enough" to be put in this team. He replied "Coz you're a fuckin nutter and we thought you'd enjoy it".

I can't see this "team" lasting 18 weeks  noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:     happy100
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on June 22, 2013, 09:54:52 AM
noooo:  The culture of the organisation stinks
You forgot the " " around organisation.  noooo:

Good point, well made (© Malcolm at work)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Steve on June 22, 2013, 11:11:30 AM
Right. This new "summer" roster that's in place for 18 weeks. First off, it's total wank. There are 15 different start/finish times so your sleep pattern is going to get utterly confuddled before too long.

Then - and this is the killer for me - we are now in static teams of 3. Previously you worked with different people every day. The team I have been lumbered with is Brian "Dangerous" D and a noobie called Brian S, who I think is 194 years old. Dangerous Brian is the Team Leader by dint of the fact he can push planes out in the tug (I'm on a course next month to do this). He's okay though. The noobie, however, can do very little. And what he can do, he does very slowly.

We were given 2 Turkish Airlines jobs today - one after the other - and these are hard, hard jobs. Most of the bags are in the 30kg mark and there are usually about 180 of them, plus 1 tonne of cargo. All in A321's, which are fairly long planes, with holds like bowling alleys. I threw all the bags/cargo out of the inbound and the two Brians stacked them on the lorry. For the outbound, old Brian S simply couldn't throw the bags far enough so I plonked myself at the top of the loading belt and threw the bags and cargo down the hold to him to stack them. I must have hit him 10 times with various bags  redface: After about 7 minutes, he simply couldn't carry on, so I kicked him out of the hold and did it myself. Must admit I was sweating somewhat.

After those, we were given our first canteen break (we'd been out for 5 1/2 hours). I asked one of the Duty Manager's why I was "lucky enough" to be put in this team. He replied "Coz you're a fuckin nutter and we thought you'd enjoy it".

I can't see this "team" lasting 18 weeks  noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:

&

worthy:
seconded

Weren't they going to ban 30kg bags except for fat Americans, or is that just what they tell us passengerists.  I guess it's a case (pun?) of what can you do if some idiot in Istanbul has put them on the plane.

30 kg followed by 30kg and again and . . . . . ain't funny at all
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 22, 2013, 11:15:30 AM
Right. This new "summer" roster that's in place for 18 weeks. First off, it's total wank. There are 15 different start/finish times so your sleep pattern is going to get utterly confuddled before too long.

Then - and this is the killer for me - we are now in static teams of 3. Previously you worked with different people every day. The team I have been lumbered with is Brian "Dangerous" D and a noobie called Brian S, who I think is 194 years old. Dangerous Brian is the Team Leader by dint of the fact he can push planes out in the tug (I'm on a course next month to do this). He's okay though. The noobie, however, can do very little. And what he can do, he does very slowly.

We were given 2 Turkish Airlines jobs today - one after the other - and these are hard, hard jobs. Most of the bags are in the 30kg mark and there are usually about 180 of them, plus 1 tonne of cargo. All in A321's, which are fairly long planes, with holds like bowling alleys. I threw all the bags/cargo out of the inbound and the two Brians stacked them on the lorry. For the outbound, old Brian S simply couldn't throw the bags far enough so I plonked myself at the top of the loading belt and threw the bags and cargo down the hold to him to stack them. I must have hit him 10 times with various bags  redface: After about 7 minutes, he simply couldn't carry on, so I kicked him out of the hold and did it myself. Must admit I was sweating somewhat.

After those, we were given our first canteen break (we'd been out for 5 1/2 hours). I asked one of the Duty Manager's why I was "lucky enough" to be put in this team. He replied "Coz you're a fuckin nutter and we thought you'd enjoy it".

I can't see this "team" lasting 18 weeks  noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:

&

worthy:
seconded

Weren't they going to ban 30kg bags except for fat Americans, or is that just what they tell us passengerists.  I guess it's a case (pun?) of what can you do if some idiot in Istanbul has put them on the plane.

30 kg followed by 30kg and again and . . . . . ain't funny at all

30Kg my big, fat, hairy arse.... ::)

The little man can barely lift a full pint pot....  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on June 22, 2013, 11:27:40 AM
Right. This new "summer" roster that's in place for 18 weeks. First off, it's total wank. There are 15 different start/finish times so your sleep pattern is going to get utterly confuddled before too long.

Then - and this is the killer for me - we are now in static teams of 3. Previously you worked with different people every day. The team I have been lumbered with is Brian "Dangerous" D and a noobie called Brian S, who I think is 194 years old. Dangerous Brian is the Team Leader by dint of the fact he can push planes out in the tug (I'm on a course next month to do this). He's okay though. The noobie, however, can do very little. And what he can do, he does very slowly.

We were given 2 Turkish Airlines jobs today - one after the other - and these are hard, hard jobs. Most of the bags are in the 30kg mark and there are usually about 180 of them, plus 1 tonne of cargo. All in A321's, which are fairly long planes, with holds like bowling alleys. I threw all the bags/cargo out of the inbound and the two Brians stacked them on the lorry. For the outbound, old Brian S simply couldn't throw the bags far enough so I plonked myself at the top of the loading belt and threw the bags and cargo down the hold to him to stack them. I must have hit him 10 times with various bags  redface: After about 7 minutes, he simply couldn't carry on, so I kicked him out of the hold and did it myself. Must admit I was sweating somewhat.

After those, we were given our first canteen break (we'd been out for 5 1/2 hours). I asked one of the Duty Manager's why I was "lucky enough" to be put in this team. He replied "Coz you're a fuckin nutter and we thought you'd enjoy it".

I can't see this "team" lasting 18 weeks  noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:

&

worthy:
seconded

Weren't they going to ban 30kg bags except for fat Americans, or is that just what they tell us passengerists.  I guess it's a case (pun?) of what can you do if some idiot in Istanbul has put them on the plane.

30 kg followed by 30kg and again and . . . . . ain't funny at all

30Kg my big, fat, hairy arse.... ::)

The little man can barely lift a full pint pot....  noooo:

But at least he's allowed to try........ whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on June 22, 2013, 11:58:11 AM
Right. This new "summer" roster that's in place for 18 weeks. First off, it's total wank. There are 15 different start/finish times so your sleep pattern is going to get utterly confuddled before too long.

Then - and this is the killer for me - we are now in static teams of 3. Previously you worked with different people every day. The team I have been lumbered with is Brian "Dangerous" D and a noobie called Brian S, who I think is 194 years old. Dangerous Brian is the Team Leader by dint of the fact he can push planes out in the tug (I'm on a course next month to do this). He's okay though. The noobie, however, can do very little. And what he can do, he does very slowly.

We were given 2 Turkish Airlines jobs today - one after the other - and these are hard, hard jobs. Most of the bags are in the 30kg mark and there are usually about 180 of them, plus 1 tonne of cargo. All in A321's, which are fairly long planes, with holds like bowling alleys. I threw all the bags/cargo out of the inbound and the two Brians stacked them on the lorry. For the outbound, old Brian S simply couldn't throw the bags far enough so I plonked myself at the top of the loading belt and threw the bags and cargo down the hold to him to stack them. I must have hit him 10 times with various bags  redface: After about 7 minutes, he simply couldn't carry on, so I kicked him out of the hold and did it myself. Must admit I was sweating somewhat.

After those, we were given our first canteen break (we'd been out for 5 1/2 hours). I asked one of the Duty Manager's why I was "lucky enough" to be put in this team. He replied "Coz you're a fuckin nutter and we thought you'd enjoy it".

I can't see this "team" lasting 18 weeks  noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:

&

worthy:
seconded

Weren't they going to ban 30kg bags except for fat Americans, or is that just what they tell us passengerists.  I guess it's a case (pun?) of what can you do if some idiot in Istanbul has put them on the plane.

30 kg followed by 30kg and again and . . . . . ain't funny at all

30Kg my big, fat, hairy arse.... ::)

The little man can barely lift a full pint pot....  noooo:

But at least he's allowed to try........ whistle:

 cussing:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 22, 2013, 11:35:08 PM
We need a new "noobie". I broke this one  redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on June 23, 2013, 12:23:42 AM
We need a new "noobie". I broke this one  redface:

 rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on June 23, 2013, 12:39:08 AM
We need a new "noobie". I broke this one  redface:

 rubschin:

Last offload for us tonight - Faro, 164 bags. I was in a hurry as we were given the job at 22.55 and we finish at 23.30. I jumped up and threw the bags (and lots of golf bags) out of the rear hold and then we did the front - it was 23.08 by this time. Despite BM's protestations, I can hurl a 30+kg bag pretty far and fast. I had constantly warned the ancient noobie to keep his eyes on the bags coming down the hold, but he was a total Zombie by this stage and one of the hard cases landed on his hand, which he had stupidly left on the edge of the hold. Not good. By the time we got the bus back to the staff car park his hand had ballooned something rotten.  redface: redface: redface:

Still, that'll learn him  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 23, 2013, 05:40:32 AM
We need a new "noobie". I broke this one  redface:

 rubschin:

Last offload for us tonight - Faro, 164 bags. I was in a hurry as we were given the job at 22.55 and we finish at 23.30. I jumped up and threw the bags (and lots of golf bags) out of the rear hold and then we did the front - it was 23.08 by this time. Despite BM's protestations, I can hurl a 30+kg bag pretty far and fast. I had constantly warned the ancient noobie to keep his eyes on the bags coming down the hold, but he was a total Zombie by this stage and one of the hard cases landed on his hand, which he had stupidly left on the edge of the hold. Not good. By the time we got the bus back to the staff car park his hand had ballooned something rotten.  redface: redface: redface:

Still, that'll learn him  eveilgrin:

Oh dear, what a pity, never mind. razz:

I believe you have a well deserved day off today, feet up and beer as and when needed. :thumbsup:

Oh and  worthy: worthy: I worship your body.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 23, 2013, 06:47:36 AM
 eyes:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 02, 2013, 05:11:06 PM
So, the bruv jets off to Dalaman for 2 weeks.  In the bogs at Gatwick he sees someone who works with me.

"Do you know my bruv, TMR?"

"The TMRminator?"

"Why do you call him the TMRminator? "

"Because he's like a machine - flat out all the time and never even a bead of sweat. Is he on drugs? "

Bruv was gobsmacked.  Proof - if it were needed - that fags and beer make you fit.
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2013, 05:15:59 PM
So, the bruv jets off to Dalaman for 2 weeks.  In the bogs at Gatwick he sees someone who works with me.

"Do you know my bruv, TMR?"

"The TMRminator?"

"Why do you call him the TMRminator? "

"Because he's like a machine - flat out all the time and never even a bead of sweat. Is he on drugs? "

Bruv was gobsmacked.  Proof - if it were needed - that fags and beer make you fit.

As if he really said that... ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 02, 2013, 05:25:03 PM
So, the bruv jets off to Dalaman for 2 weeks.  In the bogs at Gatwick he sees someone who works with me.

"Do you know my bruv, TMR?"

"The TMRminator?"

"Why do you call him the TMRminator? "

"Because he's like a machine - flat out all the time and never even a bead of sweat. Is he on drugs? "

Bruv was gobsmacked.  Proof - if it were needed - that fags and beer make you fit.

As if he really said that... ::)

...said the frail Poo-Poo...
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on July 02, 2013, 05:32:53 PM
So, the bruv jets off to Dalaman for 2 weeks.  In the bogs at Gatwick he sees someone who works with me.

"Do you know my bruv, TMR?"

"The TMRminator?"

"Why do you call him the TMRminator? "

"Because he's like a machine - flat out all the time and never even a bead of sweat. Is he on drugs? "

Bruv was gobsmacked.  Proof - if it were needed - that fags and beer make you fit.

As if he really said that... ::)

...said the frail Poo-Poo...

The Poominator to you!  evil:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 02, 2013, 08:41:55 PM
So, the bruv jets off to Dalaman for 2 weeks.  In the bogs at Gatwick he sees someone who works with me.

"Do you know my bruv, TMR?"

"The TMRminator?"

"Why do you call him the TMRminator? "

"Because he's like a machine - flat out all the time and never even a bead of sweat. Is he on drugs? "

Bruv was gobsmacked.  Proof - if it were needed - that fags and beer make you fit.

As if he really said that... ::)

...said the frail Poo-Poo...

The Poominator to you!  evil:

 Thumbs: So it shall be!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2013, 08:23:51 AM
Apparently, the Pafos >>> Gatwick SleazyJet flight left from the South Terminal today instead of the North as normal!  eeek:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

* breathes *

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

* GASP *

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 03, 2013, 09:11:09 AM
Apparently, the Pafos >>> Gatwick SleazyJet flight left from the South Terminal today instead of the North as normal!  eeek:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

* breathes *

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

* GASP *

It changed this year - Pafos is now a South Terminal flight.  angel1

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2013, 10:12:18 AM
Apparently, the Pafos >>> Gatwick SleazyJet flight left from the South Terminal today instead of the North as normal!  eeek:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

* breathes *

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

* GASP *

It changed this year - Pafos is now a South Terminal flight.  angel1

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Did they change how the quote function works too?  point:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 03, 2013, 11:58:39 AM
Apparently, the Pafos >>> Gatwick SleazyJet flight left from the South Terminal today instead of the North as normal!  eeek:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

* breathes *

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

* GASP *

It changed this year - Pafos is now a South Terminal flight.  angel1

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Did they change how the quote function works too?  point:

 redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2013, 01:34:00 PM
They are here...  surrender: surrender: surrender: surrender:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 03, 2013, 01:35:22 PM
They are here...  surrender: surrender: surrender: surrender:

 happy100
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2013, 01:37:31 PM
They are here...  surrender: surrender: surrender: surrender:

 happy100

Thanx...  sad24:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on July 03, 2013, 04:04:34 PM
^^^Wot Mr Terminator said^^^ happy100



Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 03, 2013, 04:10:28 PM
^^^Wot Mr Terminator said^^^ happy100

 cloud9:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 05, 2013, 05:56:17 PM
"FOD" (Foreign object debris) is obviously a problem at airports - it can get sucked up and damage engines or damage tyres etc.

Some of this FOD comes from (falls out of) the vehicles we drive - plastic bottles,  McD cartons etc.

So, our H&S twat has now decreed that we can no longer eat or drink when we are "out". And we can be "out" for 6 hours. In this mad heat.

Good move. Cnut.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on July 05, 2013, 06:01:52 PM
Keeeeeeelllllllllllll him

Where  has the Health bit of his remit gone?

http://www.hse.gov.uk/pubns/indg450.pdf (http://www.hse.gov.uk/pubns/indg450.pdf)
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 05, 2013, 06:21:16 PM
All he cares about is not damaging planes and our "image". If a load of our boys get pulled by Airfield Ops for having FOD in their vehicles then it's the image he is worried about.  Forget the fact that one of boys collapsed today towards the end of his 4th 13 hour shift - to him it doesn't matter;  no plane was danaged. And again, this bloke had to make his own way to hospital to get stitched up. And will have hours deducted.

Insane.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on July 05, 2013, 06:23:44 PM
There is a complaint linky on page 3. whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 05, 2013, 06:47:22 PM
Thanks Nick - I might not be there for long, mind, after a little faux pas today :-
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on July 05, 2013, 06:48:55 PM
 Popcorn:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Just One More on July 05, 2013, 08:11:31 PM
"FOD" (Foreign object debris) is obviously a problem at airports - it can get sucked up and damage engines or damage tyres etc.

Some of this FOD comes from (falls out of) the vehicles we drive - plastic bottles,  McD cartons etc.

So, our H&S twat has now decreed that we can no longer eat or drink when we are "out". And we can be "out" for 6 hours. In this mad heat.

Good move. Cnut.

I know I've said it before, but there is something very very wrong with the culture there  noooo:


I could have saved a life that day,
But I chose to look the other way.
It wasn’t that I didn’t care;
I had the time, and I was there.

But I didn’t want to seem a fool,
Or argue over a safety rule.
I knew he’d done the job before;
If I spoke up he might get sore.

The chances didn’t seem that bad;
I’d done the same, he knew I had.
So I shook my head and walked by;
He knew the risks as well as I.

He took the chance, I closed an eye;
And with that act, I let him die.
I could have saved a life that day,
But I chose to look the other way.

Now every time I see his wife,
I know I should have saved his life.
That guilt is something I must bear;
But isn’t’ something you need to share.

If you see a risk that others take
That puts their health or life at stake,
The question asked or thing you say;
Could help them live another day.

If you see a risk and walk away,
Then hope you never have to say,
“I could have saved a life that day,
But I chose to look the other way.”
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on July 14, 2013, 07:11:57 PM
So the new shift pattern designed by the fat porridge wog "isn't working as expected". No shit Sherlock.

Accidents have increased and still the planes are going late too often.

A new proposal is being considered - 3 days on, 3 days off.  13 hour shifts.  As we suggested. ..

Perfick ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Baldy on July 14, 2013, 08:28:32 PM
So the new shift pattern designed by the fat porridge wog "isn't working as expected". No shit Sherlock.

Accidents have increased and still the planes are going late too often.

A new proposal is being considered - 3 days on, 3 days off.  13 hour shifts.  As we suggested. ..

Perfick ;D
Porridge Wogs......what do you expect?  noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: boogs on July 14, 2013, 08:44:08 PM
So the new shift pattern designed by the fat porridge wog "isn't working as expected". No shit Sherlock.

Accidents have increased and still the planes are going late too often.

A new proposal is being considered - 3 days on, 3 days off.  13 hour shifts.  As we suggested. ..

Perfick ;D
Porridge Wogs......what do you expect?  noooo: noooo:

 evil: evil: evil:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Baldy on July 14, 2013, 08:49:00 PM
So the new shift pattern designed by the fat porridge wog "isn't working as expected". No shit Sherlock.

Accidents have increased and still the planes are going late too often.

A new proposal is being considered - 3 days on, 3 days off.  13 hour shifts.  As we suggested. ..

Perfick ;D
Porridge Wogs......what do you expect?  noooo: noooo:

 evil: evil: evil:

Wass your problem?

So called 'blokes' wear skirts.....how can they make 'man decisions'  when they cross-dress?  Shrugs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: boogs on July 14, 2013, 08:54:02 PM
So the new shift pattern designed by the fat porridge wog "isn't working as expected". No shit Sherlock.

Accidents have increased and still the planes are going late too often.

A new proposal is being considered - 3 days on, 3 days off.  13 hour shifts.  As we suggested. ..

Perfick ;D
Porridge Wogs......what do you expect?  noooo: noooo:

 evil: evil: evil:

Wass your problem?

So called 'blokes' wear skirts.....how can they make 'man decisions'  when they cross-dress?  Shrugs:

Go to Glasgow on a Saturday night say that you will find out ... lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Steve on July 14, 2013, 08:56:31 PM
. .
Porridge Wogs......what do you expect?  noooo: noooo:

 evil: evil: evil:

Wass your problem?

So called 'blokes' wear skirts.....how can they make 'man decisions'  when they cross-dress?  Shrugs:
Wasn't it the Greeks that started that skirt wearing stuff, you going to go down to Nicosia and rubbish them then

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/p480x480/480903_192440647573169_1720694696_n.jpg)
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Baldy on July 14, 2013, 08:56:56 PM
So the new shift pattern designed by the fat porridge wog "isn't working as expected". No shit Sherlock.

Accidents have increased and still the planes are going late too often.

A new proposal is being considered - 3 days on, 3 days off.  13 hour shifts.  As we suggested. ..

Perfick ;D
Porridge Wogs......what do you expect?  noooo: noooo:

 evil: evil: evil:

Wass your problem?

So called 'blokes' wear skirts.....how can they make 'man decisions'  when they cross-dress?  Shrugs:

Go to Glasgow on a Saturday night say that you will find out ... lol: lol: lol:

Would they ask me what lipstick shade I was using?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on July 14, 2013, 09:00:32 PM
Wasn't it the Greeks that started that skirt wearing stuff, you going to go down to Nicosia and rubbish them then

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/p480x480/480903_192440647573169_1720694696_n.jpg)

They also came up with 'up the Khyber' that is up to them faggots.  noooo:

By the way Nicosia is 'up' from most places in Smugville.  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: boogs on July 14, 2013, 09:02:58 PM
So the new shift pattern designed by the fat porridge wog "isn't working as expected". No shit Sherlock.

Accidents have increased and still the planes are going late too often.

A new proposal is being considered - 3 days on, 3 days off.  13 hour shifts.  As we suggested. ..

Perfick ;D
Porridge Wogs......what do you expect?  noooo: noooo:

 evil: evil: evil:

Wass your problem?

So called 'blokes' wear skirts.....how can they make 'man decisions'  when they cross-dress?  Shrugs:

Go to Glasgow on a Saturday night say that you will find out ... lol: lol: lol:

Would they ask me what lipstick shade I was using?  rubschin:

I challenge you to try ..... ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Baldy on July 14, 2013, 09:09:54 PM
So the new shift pattern designed by the fat porridge wog "isn't working as expected". No shit Sherlock.

Accidents have increased and still the planes are going late too often.

A new proposal is being considered - 3 days on, 3 days off.  13 hour shifts.  As we suggested. ..

Perfick ;D
Porridge Wogs......what do you expect?  noooo: noooo:

 evil: evil: evil:

Wass your problem?

So called 'blokes' wear skirts.....how can they make 'man decisions'  when they cross-dress?  Shrugs:

Go to Glasgow on a Saturday night say that you will find out ... lol: lol: lol:

Would they ask me what lipstick shade I was using?  rubschin:

I challenge you to try ..... ::)

One on one like an English Gent or against a pack of slavering idiots like they have to always approach someone who is against their shitty existence?
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: boogs on July 14, 2013, 09:14:21 PM
So the new shift pattern designed by the fat porridge wog "isn't working as expected". No shit Sherlock.

Accidents have increased and still the planes are going late too often.

A new proposal is being considered - 3 days on, 3 days off.  13 hour shifts.  As we suggested. ..

Perfick ;D
Porridge Wogs......what do you expect?  noooo: noooo:

 evil: evil: evil:

Wass your problem?

So called 'blokes' wear skirts.....how can they make 'man decisions'  when they cross-dress?  Shrugs:

Go to Glasgow on a Saturday night say that you will find out ... lol: lol: lol:

Would they ask me what lipstick shade I was using?  rubschin:

I challenge you to try ..... ::)

One on one like an English Gent or against a pack of slavering idiots like they have to always approach someone who is against their shitty existence?

Ohhh one on one all that would be necessary .... happy001
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Baldy on July 14, 2013, 09:15:51 PM
So the new shift pattern designed by the fat porridge wog "isn't working as expected". No shit Sherlock.

Accidents have increased and still the planes are going late too often.

A new proposal is being considered - 3 days on, 3 days off.  13 hour shifts.  As we suggested. ..

Perfick ;D
Porridge Wogs......what do you expect?  noooo: noooo:

 evil: evil: evil:

Wass your problem?

So called 'blokes' wear skirts.....how can they make 'man decisions'  when they cross-dress?  Shrugs:

Go to Glasgow on a Saturday night say that you will find out ... lol: lol: lol:

Would they ask me what lipstick shade I was using?  rubschin:

I challenge you to try ..... ::)

One on one like an English Gent or against a pack of slavering idiots like they have to always approach someone who is against their shitty existence?

Ohhh one on one all that would be necessary .... happy001

Would that be the women or the blokes dressed as women?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: boogs on July 14, 2013, 09:22:03 PM
So the new shift pattern designed by the fat porridge wog "isn't working as expected". No shit Sherlock.

Accidents have increased and still the planes are going late too often.

A new proposal is being considered - 3 days on, 3 days off.  13 hour shifts.  As we suggested. ..

Perfick ;D
Porridge Wogs......what do you expect?  noooo: noooo:

 evil: evil: evil:

Wass your problem?

So called 'blokes' wear skirts.....how can they make 'man decisions'  when they cross-dress?  Shrugs:

Go to Glasgow on a Saturday night say that you will find out ... lol: lol: lol:

Would they ask me what lipstick shade I was using?  rubschin:

I challenge you to try ..... ::)

One on one like an English Gent or against a pack of slavering idiots like they have to always approach someone who is against their shitty existence?

Ohhh one on one all that would be necessary .... happy001

Would that be the women or the blokes dressed as women?  rubschin:

You would not last with either ..... noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Baldy on July 14, 2013, 09:23:37 PM
So the new shift pattern designed by the fat porridge wog "isn't working as expected". No shit Sherlock.

Accidents have increased and still the planes are going late too often.

A new proposal is being considered - 3 days on, 3 days off.  13 hour shifts.  As we suggested. ..

Perfick ;D
Porridge Wogs......what do you expect?  noooo: noooo:

 evil: evil: evil:

Wass your problem?

So called 'blokes' wear skirts.....how can they make 'man decisions'  when they cross-dress?  Shrugs:

Go to Glasgow on a Saturday night say that you will find out ... lol: lol: lol:

Would they ask me what lipstick shade I was using?  rubschin:

I challenge you to try ..... ::)

One on one like an English Gent or against a pack of slavering idiots like they have to always approach someone who is against their shitty existence?

Ohhh one on one all that would be necessary .... happy001

Would that be the women or the blokes dressed as women?  rubschin:

You would not last with either ..... noooo: noooo:

Top quality porridge wogs then.  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: boogs on July 14, 2013, 09:40:44 PM
So the new shift pattern designed by the fat porridge wog "isn't working as expected". No shit Sherlock.

Accidents have increased and still the planes are going late too often.

A new proposal is being considered - 3 days on, 3 days off.  13 hour shifts.  As we suggested. ..

Perfick ;D
Porridge Wogs......what do you expect?  noooo: noooo:

 evil: evil: evil:

Wass your problem?

So called 'blokes' wear skirts.....how can they make 'man decisions'  when they cross-dress?  Shrugs:

Go to Glasgow on a Saturday night say that you will find out ... lol: lol: lol:

Would they ask me what lipstick shade I was using?  rubschin:

I challenge you to try ..... ::)

One on one like an English Gent or against a pack of slavering idiots like they have to always approach someone who is against their shitty existence?

Ohhh one on one all that would be necessary .... happy001

Would that be the women or the blokes dressed as women?  rubschin:

You would not last with either ..... noooo: noooo:

Top quality porridge wogs then.  Thumbs:

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on July 26, 2013, 02:14:48 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2378393/Watch-FedEx-worker-THROWING-dozens-packages-truck.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2378393/Watch-FedEx-worker-THROWING-dozens-packages-truck.html)

Tips for TMR......... Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on July 26, 2013, 04:39:39 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2378393/Watch-FedEx-worker-THROWING-dozens-packages-truck.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2378393/Watch-FedEx-worker-THROWING-dozens-packages-truck.html[/url])

Tips for TMR......... Thumbs:


 Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on July 27, 2013, 05:18:15 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2378393/Watch-FedEx-worker-THROWING-dozens-packages-truck.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2378393/Watch-FedEx-worker-THROWING-dozens-packages-truck.html[/url])

Tips for TMR......... Thumbs:


 Thumbs:



. . . . and just who, pray, do you think trains Fed-Ex? Ehh?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on July 27, 2013, 05:22:11 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2378393/Watch-FedEx-worker-THROWING-dozens-packages-truck.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2378393/Watch-FedEx-worker-THROWING-dozens-packages-truck.html[/url])

Tips for TMR......... Thumbs:


 Thumbs:



. . . . and just who, pray, do you think trains Fed-Ex? Ehh?


Wigan Rugby League?  Shrugs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on July 27, 2013, 05:28:10 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2378393/Watch-FedEx-worker-THROWING-dozens-packages-truck.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2378393/Watch-FedEx-worker-THROWING-dozens-packages-truck.html[/url])

Tips for TMR......... Thumbs:


 Thumbs:



. . . . and just who, pray, do you think trains Fed-Ex? Ehh?


Wigan Rugby League?  Shrugs:


Mong!

Follow the conversation - "tips for TMR" then my question . . . .

Basically I'm saying I don't think TMR needs any tips . . . . he could train them . . . .


 Banghead
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on July 27, 2013, 05:43:18 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2378393/Watch-FedEx-worker-THROWING-dozens-packages-truck.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2378393/Watch-FedEx-worker-THROWING-dozens-packages-truck.html[/url])

Tips for TMR......... Thumbs:


 Thumbs:



. . . . and just who, pray, do you think trains Fed-Ex? Ehh?


Wigan Rugby League?  Shrugs:


Mong!

Follow the conversation - "tips for TMR" then my question . . . .

Basically I'm saying I don't think TMR needs any tips . . . . he could train them . . . .


 Banghead


Fucktard.  noooo:

Go back to doing your Jimmy Saville bit with corpses.....you do not make that point.  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on August 31, 2013, 06:45:19 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2407932/Seven-baggage-handlers-arrested-caught-hidden-camera-stealing-THOUSANDS-items-passengers-checked-baggage.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2407932/Seven-baggage-handlers-arrested-caught-hidden-camera-stealing-THOUSANDS-items-passengers-checked-baggage.html)

more tips......... Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 31, 2013, 09:22:53 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2407932/Seven-baggage-handlers-arrested-caught-hidden-camera-stealing-THOUSANDS-items-passengers-checked-baggage.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2407932/Seven-baggage-handlers-arrested-caught-hidden-camera-stealing-THOUSANDS-items-passengers-checked-baggage.html[/url])

more tips......... Thumbs:


Quote
"Petit Larceny"

  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on August 31, 2013, 09:26:04 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2407932/Seven-baggage-handlers-arrested-caught-hidden-camera-stealing-THOUSANDS-items-passengers-checked-baggage.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2407932/Seven-baggage-handlers-arrested-caught-hidden-camera-stealing-THOUSANDS-items-passengers-checked-baggage.html[/url])

more tips......... Thumbs:


Quote
"Petit Larceny"

  rubschin:


 ;D ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on September 02, 2013, 08:45:13 PM
Walked off the last job tonight - I finish at 20:00 and at 19.55 we were still waiting for the waste and water trucks to do their bit. The office said "stay with it, we'll pay an hour's overtime". Seemed worth it.   Then the captain got on the headset to me to advise that one of the crew would be "out of hours" and they wouldn't be able to fly until they had a replacement.  At this point I wished him luck, unplugged my headset and fucked off to the pub.

My usual goodwill has run out :P
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: boogs on September 02, 2013, 08:55:45 PM
Walked off the last job tonight - I finish at 20:00 and at 19.55 we were still waiting for the waste and water trucks to do their bit. The office said "stay with it, we'll pay an hour's overtime". Seemed worth it.   Then the captain got on the headset to me to advise that one of the crew would be "out of hours" and they wouldn't be able to fly until they had a replacement.  At this point I wished him luck, unplugged my headset and fucked off to the pub.

My usual goodwill has run out :P

Good man  happy100
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on September 03, 2013, 05:32:16 AM
Walked off the last job tonight - I finish at 20:00 and at 19.55 we were still waiting for the waste and water trucks to do their bit. The office said "stay with it, we'll pay an hour's overtime". Seemed worth it.   Then the captain got on the headset to me to advise that one of the crew would be "out of hours" and they wouldn't be able to fly until they had a replacement.  At this point I wished him luck, unplugged my headset and fucked off to the pub.

My usual goodwill has run out :P

 Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 16, 2013, 01:32:32 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2462712/Chaos-Gatwick-Airport-heavy-rain-causes-power-cut-Staff-use-flipboards-departure-boards-make-announcements-megaphone.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2462712/Chaos-Gatwick-Airport-heavy-rain-causes-power-cut-Staff-use-flipboards-departure-boards-make-announcements-megaphone.html)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 16, 2013, 02:00:16 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2462712/Chaos-Gatwick-Airport-heavy-rain-causes-power-cut-Staff-use-flipboards-departure-boards-make-announcements-megaphone.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2462712/Chaos-Gatwick-Airport-heavy-rain-causes-power-cut-Staff-use-flipboards-departure-boards-make-announcements-megaphone.html[/url])

 rubschin:


I'm in the pub :D  Only did 0500 - 0900 this morning.  And yesterday,  easyJet's check-in system went down across Europe. Total chaos!
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on October 16, 2013, 02:42:30 PM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2462712/Chaos-Gatwick-Airport-heavy-rain-causes-power-cut-Staff-use-flipboards-departure-boards-make-announcements-megaphone.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2462712/Chaos-Gatwick-Airport-heavy-rain-causes-power-cut-Staff-use-flipboards-departure-boards-make-announcements-megaphone.html[/url])

 rubschin:


I'm in the pub :D  Only did 0500 - 0900 this morning.  And yesterday,  easyJet's check-in system went down across Europe. Total chaos!


Good job LL was on the early flight like.....

She wouldn't have been able to spend all day criticising my cleaning otherwise..... ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on October 16, 2013, 02:43:18 PM
Told you  point: point: point: point: point:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 16, 2013, 02:48:25 PM
Told you  point: point: point: point: point:

LL: Have you mopped the floor in the bedroom...?
BM: No
LL: Have you mopped the floor in the kitchen...?
BM: No
LL: Have you mopped the floors anywhere...?
BM: No...
LL: So the floors have not been cleaned since I left...?
BM: No.... ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on October 16, 2013, 02:49:31 PM
Were the carpets that bad?  eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 16, 2013, 02:50:33 PM
Told you  point: point: point: point: point:

LL: Have you mopped the floor in the bedroom...?
BM: No
LL: Have you mopped the floor in the kitchen...?
BM: No
LL: Have you mopped the floors anywhere...?
BM: No...
LL: So the floors have not been cleaned since I left...?
BM: No.... ::)

Told you ...get a woman in (before LL )....... noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 16, 2013, 02:50:57 PM
Were the carpets that bad?  eeek:

You know how clumsy Misty is.....  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 16, 2013, 07:39:47 PM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/10377019/Airline-sorry-for-I-am-gay-message-stuck-to-suitcase.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/10377019/Airline-sorry-for-I-am-gay-message-stuck-to-suitcase.html)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on October 17, 2013, 11:26:06 AM
[url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/10377019/Airline-sorry-for-I-am-gay-message-stuck-to-suitcase.html[/url] ([url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/10377019/Airline-sorry-for-I-am-gay-message-stuck-to-suitcase.html[/url])

 rubschin:


Quote
He said he was "utterly disgusted" and saw the eyes of fellow passengers "look him up and down". “I was taken aback by the slogan but thought I had thick enough skin to ignore the leering," he added.


Gayer:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on October 17, 2013, 11:28:28 AM
[url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/10377019/Airline-sorry-for-I-am-gay-message-stuck-to-suitcase.html[/url] ([url]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/10377019/Airline-sorry-for-I-am-gay-message-stuck-to-suitcase.html[/url])

 rubschin:


Quote
He said he was "utterly disgusted" and saw the eyes of fellow passengers "look him up and down". “I was taken aback by the slogan but thought I had thick enough skin to ignore the leering," he added.


Gayer:


. . . he said, rubbing his hands in anticipation of the wedge of compo soon to be coming his way . . .
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 19, 2013, 04:24:48 PM
All the comical wags on here are gonna love this. ..

A vacancy at work has arisen for "Power Ranger". I have applied. 

Let the urine extraction begin...
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: apc2010 on October 19, 2013, 04:27:35 PM
All the comical wags on here are gonna love this. ..

A vacancy at work has arisen for "Power Ranger". I have applied. 

Let the urine extraction begin...

That's not even sport........ noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on October 19, 2013, 04:27:54 PM
All the comical wags on here are gonna love this. ..

A vacancy at work has arisen for "Power Ranger". I have applied. 

Let the urine extraction begin...

 angel1
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on October 19, 2013, 04:50:50 PM
All the comical wags on here are gonna love this. ..

A vacancy at work has arisen for "Power Ranger". I have applied. 

Let the urine extraction begin...

That's not even sport........ noooo:

Oh I'm sure you can all come up with suitable quips if I get it :P  No more money but 4 on / 4 off 12 hour shifts will save petrol and give greater scope for overtime.  Plus I don't have to work with a team of slackers - no more carrying the terminally lazy.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on October 19, 2013, 05:08:17 PM
All I know is they have to wear skin tight Spandex











































 sick2:

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on November 18, 2013, 10:25:06 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2509350/Remote-control-model-Airbus-A380-looks-realistic-mistaken-real-thing.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2509350/Remote-control-model-Airbus-A380-looks-realistic-mistaken-real-thing.html)


 whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on November 19, 2013, 06:47:55 AM
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2509350/Remote-control-model-Airbus-A380-looks-realistic-mistaken-real-thing.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2509350/Remote-control-model-Airbus-A380-looks-realistic-mistaken-real-thing.html[/url])


 whistle:


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on November 19, 2013, 08:09:34 AM
 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on November 19, 2013, 08:16:36 AM
 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on December 21, 2013, 11:53:06 AM
http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/ (http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/)

Have a word with your fellow workers please........ noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on December 21, 2013, 12:30:13 PM
[url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url] ([url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url])

Have a word with your fellow workers please........ noooo:


 noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on December 22, 2013, 07:06:12 AM
[url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url] ([url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url])

Have a word with your fellow workers please........ noooo:


Not me...

Although we do Air Malta and every single piece of Royal Mail that has to go to the island, goes on one of their daily A319/A320s. At this time of the year, as you can imagine, there's rather a lot.  NickSick
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on December 22, 2013, 07:20:40 AM
[url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url] ([url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url])

Have a word with your fellow workers please........ noooo:


Not me...

Although we do Air Malta and every single piece of Royal Mail that has to go to the island, goes on one of their daily A319/A320s. At this time of the year, as you can imagine, there's rather a lot.  NickSick


All those lightweight air-mail letters must be exhausting.... pathead:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on December 22, 2013, 07:26:56 AM
[url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url] ([url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url])

Have a word with your fellow workers please........ noooo:


Not me...

Although we do Air Malta and every single piece of Royal Mail that has to go to the island, goes on one of their daily A319/A320s. At this time of the year, as you can imagine, there's rather a lot.  NickSick


All those lightweight air-mail letters must be exhausting.... pathead:


 ::)  2 tonnes average
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on December 22, 2013, 07:29:01 AM
[url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url] ([url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url])

Have a word with your fellow workers please........ noooo:


Not me...

Although we do Air Malta and every single piece of Royal Mail that has to go to the island, goes on one of their daily A319/A320s. At this time of the year, as you can imagine, there's rather a lot.  NickSick


All those lightweight air-mail letters must be exhausting.... pathead:


 ::)  2 tonnes average


Feck moi - how many stamps did they have to put on that????  eeek:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on December 22, 2013, 07:34:46 AM
[url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url] ([url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url])

Have a word with your fellow workers please........ noooo:


Not me...

Although we do Air Malta and every single piece of Royal Mail that has to go to the island, goes on one of their daily A319/A320s. At this time of the year, as you can imagine, there's rather a lot.  NickSick


All those lightweight air-mail letters must be exhausting.... pathead:


 ::)  2 tonnes average


Feck moi - how many stamps did they have to put on that????  eeek:


 drumroll:   lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 22, 2013, 03:22:47 PM
[url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url] ([url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url])

Have a word with your fellow workers please........ noooo:


Not me...

Although we do Air Malta and every single piece of Royal Mail that has to go to the island, goes on one of their daily A319/A320s. At this time of the year, as you can imagine, there's rather a lot.  NickSick


All those lightweight air-mail letters must be exhausting.... pathead:


 ::)  2 tonnes average


How much of that is mini parts?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on December 22, 2013, 03:27:19 PM
[url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url] ([url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url])

Have a word with your fellow workers please........ noooo:


Not me...

Although we do Air Malta and every single piece of Royal Mail that has to go to the island, goes on one of their daily A319/A320s. At this time of the year, as you can imagine, there's rather a lot.  NickSick


All those lightweight air-mail letters must be exhausting.... pathead:


 ::)  2 tonnes average


How much of that is mini parts?  rubschin:


 ;D ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on December 22, 2013, 03:39:20 PM
[url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url] ([url]http://cyprus-mail.com/2013/12/21/postal-services-scramble-to-track-missing-mailbags/[/url])

Have a word with your fellow workers please........ noooo:


Not me...

Although we do Air Malta and every single piece of Royal Mail that has to go to the island, goes on one of their daily A319/A320s. At this time of the year, as you can imagine, there's rather a lot.  NickSick


All those lightweight air-mail letters must be exhausting.... pathead:


 ::)  2 tonnes average


How much of that is mini parts?  rubschin:


Malta has an amazing classic car scene.....  cloud9:

So probably loads!

http://www.oldmotorsclub.com/ (http://www.oldmotorsclub.com/)

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on December 23, 2013, 06:08:08 PM
TMR strikes again....... noooo:

If you're waiting for double cream...
 » 23 Dec 2013 17:59

it won't be here in time for Xmas - chiller container with half a ton of goods is sitting at Gatwick and won't get here before midnight tomorrow night. This is supposed to supply Jim Peck. Gina & Kolios amongst others so be warned! Some butchers have cold meat and turkeys in this consignment too
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on December 23, 2013, 06:12:10 PM
TMR strikes again....... noooo:

If you're waiting for double cream...
 » 23 Dec 2013 17:59

it won't be here in time for Xmas - chiller container with half a ton of goods is sitting at Gatwick and won't get here before midnight tomorrow night. This is supposed to supply Jim Peck. Gina & Kolios amongst others so be warned! Some butchers have cold meat and turkeys in this consignment too

Lazy....  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on December 23, 2013, 07:34:34 PM
Easyjet don't  do cargo, must be someone else.

So feck off :P
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: apc2010 on December 23, 2013, 07:40:11 PM
Easyjet don't  do cargo, must be someone else.

So feck off :P

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on December 23, 2013, 07:42:40 PM
And do you really need to import double cream?  What sort of a backward country do you live in? !
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: apc2010 on December 23, 2013, 07:44:24 PM
And do you really need to import double cream?  What sort of a backward country do you live in? !

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on December 23, 2013, 07:57:11 PM
And do you really need to import double cream?  What sort of a backward country do you live in? !

Bizarre - you can't get it here....  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on December 25, 2013, 12:19:19 PM
Is he working today......... scared2:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2529123/Gatwick-misery-continues-Power-cut-one-Britains-biggest-airports-leaves-thousands-stranded-without-luggage-airline-warns-days-normal-service-resume.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2529123/Gatwick-misery-continues-Power-cut-one-Britains-biggest-airports-leaves-thousands-stranded-without-luggage-airline-warns-days-normal-service-resume.html)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on December 25, 2013, 12:28:01 PM
Wenchy and the babby are stuck there since yesterday  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on December 25, 2013, 12:30:25 PM
Wenchy and the babby are stuck there since yesterday  noooo:

 eeek:   rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on December 25, 2013, 03:13:32 PM
It's total chaos there - they still haven't restored power fully in the North terminal.  All flights are having to go from the South,  but the number of stands is limited. By tonight,  easyJet will have 55 planes on the deck, all due to go out in the first wave tomorrow morning.  If they haven't got power back by then it will be a shambles.  I'm working 0530 to 1730....
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: apc2010 on December 25, 2013, 03:14:40 PM
It's total chaos there - they still haven't restored power fully in the North terminal.  All flights are having to go from the South,  but the number of stands is limited. By tonight,  easyJet will have 55 planes on the deck, all due to go out in the first wave tomorrow morning.  If they haven't got power back by then it will be a shambles.  I'm working 0530 to 1730....

 eeek:   noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on January 01, 2014, 03:13:54 PM
Heathrow gets this...


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2528042/Ever-wondered-happens-bag-airport-Behind-scenes-Heathrow-Terminal-5.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2528042/Ever-wondered-happens-bag-airport-Behind-scenes-Heathrow-Terminal-5.html)


Gatwick gets TMR....... noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on January 01, 2014, 03:50:38 PM
Heathrow gets this...


[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2528042/Ever-wondered-happens-bag-airport-Behind-scenes-Heathrow-Terminal-5.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2528042/Ever-wondered-happens-bag-airport-Behind-scenes-Heathrow-Terminal-5.html[/url])


Gatwick gets TMR....... noooo:


 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Steve on January 01, 2014, 04:19:49 PM
Heathrow gets this...


[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2528042/Ever-wondered-happens-bag-airport-Behind-scenes-Heathrow-Terminal-5.html[/url] ([url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2528042/Ever-wondered-happens-bag-airport-Behind-scenes-Heathrow-Terminal-5.html[/url])


Gatwick gets TMR....... noooo:


 lol: lol: lol:


 lol: lol: lol:   but I' trust TMR more



and a happy001 at the Daily Heil for only now getting exclusive access to the videos and pictures of the same machinery we were shown on BBC and YouTube when T5 opened several years ago.

One 2009 video:

Vanderlande Industries - Heathrow Terminal 5 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=663VWLgT8Lc#ws)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 28, 2014, 08:33:06 PM
This thread can now be closed.


 Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on January 28, 2014, 08:34:56 PM
YAYYYYYYYYY

SO? Wot is the new job ???????????
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on January 28, 2014, 08:38:03 PM
This thread can now be closed.


 Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:


 Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs:

A step up in life,,,,, whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Just One More on January 28, 2014, 08:41:50 PM
Heartiest congratukltions TMR  :thumbsup:  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on January 28, 2014, 08:43:15 PM
A free bar .. I heard BM say....... rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 28, 2014, 08:43:30 PM
YAYYYYYYYYY

SO? Wot is the new job ???????????

Project Manager for an IT company specialising in mortgage/banking software. And they're paying me £5k more than I asked for  Shocked:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on January 28, 2014, 08:46:14 PM
YAYYYYYYYYY

SO? Wot is the new job ???????????

Project Manager for an IT company specialising in mortgage/banking software. And they're paying me £5k more than I asked for  Shocked:

 Thumbs: Thumbs:



10 grand a year....... Shocked:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 28, 2014, 08:50:01 PM
Now I must sleep. Up at 0400 to chuck bags around.

Oh, and hand in my resignation  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Steve on January 28, 2014, 09:03:55 PM
YAYYYYYYYYY

SO? Wot is the new job ???????????

Project Manager for an IT company specialising in mortgage/banking software. And they're paying me £5k more than I asked for  Shocked:

 Thumbs: Thumbs: . .
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 28, 2014, 10:59:26 PM
YAYYYYYYYYY

SO? Wot is the new job ???????????

Project Manager for an IT company specialising in mortgage/banking software. And they're paying me £5k more than I asked for  Shocked:

 Thumbs: Thumbs: . .
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Well done young man, Great news.

I expect with all that spare cash you will be looking for some investment advice. Thumbs: 

The perfect time to get into turnips. Ask BM.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on January 28, 2014, 11:03:43 PM
YAYYYYYYYYY

SO? Wot is the new job ???????????

Project Manager for an IT company specialising in mortgage/banking software. And they're paying me £5k more than I asked for  Shocked:

 Thumbs: Thumbs: . .
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Well done young man, Great news.

I expect with all that spare cash you will be looking for some investment advice. Thumbs: 

The perfect time to get into turnips. Ask BM.

TMR has always had turn-ups ......... rubschin:




oh sorry...mis-heard...... whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 28, 2014, 11:53:00 PM
What bloody great news !
Well done  ...you deserve it :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on January 29, 2014, 05:59:24 AM
Awesome news!  cloud9:

Great start to the day to read that - well done TMR!  Thumbs:

I'll keep the thread open so you can record your last day exploits!  ;)

Oh and you can't go wrong with Turnip Futures like that nice Mr. Darwin said - he has staircases to prove it like!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on January 29, 2014, 07:13:56 AM
YAYYYYYYYYY

SO? Wot is the new job ???????????

Project Manager for an IT company specialising in mortgage/banking software. And they're paying me £5k more than I asked for  Shocked:

Well done TMR.   Party001: Party001: Party001:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on January 29, 2014, 02:21:11 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2547815/Passengers-facing-travel-chaos-airline-strikes-continent-BA-easyJet-Ryanair-expected-affected.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2547815/Passengers-facing-travel-chaos-airline-strikes-continent-BA-easyJet-Ryanair-expected-affected.html)

Get in that last over-time....... Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: tel on January 29, 2014, 04:38:47 PM
Well done, that man. ;D
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 29, 2014, 07:35:55 PM
Thank you all. Tel, when I get my first Mahoosive wage packet you are having a few pints on me. And Miss D, Voddy frenzy at Victoria station. Then I'll need to go to Paphos for the Cyprus lot...
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: apc2010 on January 29, 2014, 07:39:15 PM
Thank you all. Tel, when I get my first Mahoosive wage packet you are having a few pints on me. And Miss D, Voddy frenzy at Victoria station. Then I'll need to go to Paphos for the Cyprus lot...

 Thumbs: 
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Baldy on January 29, 2014, 07:45:40 PM
Thank you all. Tel, when I get my first Mahoosive wage packet you are having a few pints on me. And Miss D, Voddy frenzy at Victoria station. Then I'll need to go to Paphos for the Cyprus lot...

 Thumbs:

 Thumbs: Thumbs:

Such a shame BM is busy that day.  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: apc2010 on January 29, 2014, 07:47:21 PM
Thank you all. Tel, when I get my first Mahoosive wage packet you are having a few pints on me. And Miss D, Voddy frenzy at Victoria station. Then I'll need to go to Paphos for the Cyprus lot...

 Thumbs:

 Thumbs: Thumbs:

Such a shame BM is busy that day.  whistle:

It's his round... evil:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on January 29, 2014, 07:47:33 PM
Thank you all. Tel, when I get my first Mahoosive wage packet you are having a few pints on me. And Miss D, Voddy frenzy at Victoria station. Then I'll need to go to Paphos for the Cyprus lot...

 Thumbs:

 Thumbs: Thumbs:

Such a shame BM is busy that day.  whistle:


I'm bleddy not!  cussing:






....is it a skool night....?  redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 29, 2014, 09:42:55 PM
Thank you all. Tel, when I get my first Mahoosive wage packet you are having a few pints on me. And Miss D, Voddy frenzy at Victoria station. Then I'll need to go to Paphos for the Cyprus lot...
Don't forget to put a few quid aside for your turnip futures.

***Taps nose***
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 29, 2014, 09:46:21 PM
Thank you all. Tel, when I get my first Mahoosive wage packet you are having a few pints on me. And Miss D, Voddy frenzy at Victoria station. Then I'll need to go to Paphos for the Cyprus lot...
Don't forget to put a few quid aside for your turnip futures.

***Taps nose***

That goes wthout saying...
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: apc2010 on January 29, 2014, 09:48:46 PM
Thank you all. Tel, when I get my first Mahoosive wage packet you are having a few pints on me. And Miss D, Voddy frenzy at Victoria station. Then I'll need to go to Paphos for the Cyprus lot...
Don't forget to put a few quid aside for your turnip futures.

***Taps nose***

That goes wthout saying...

Like BM when he's allowed out...... noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on January 30, 2014, 07:02:38 AM
Thank you all. Tel, when I get my first Mahoosive wage packet you are having a few pints on me. And Miss D, Voddy frenzy at Victoria station. Then I'll need to go to Paphos for the Cyprus lot...
Don't forget to put a few quid aside for your turnip futures.

***Taps nose***

That goes wthout saying...

Like BM when he's allowed out...... noooo:

 redface:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: boogs on January 30, 2014, 09:57:11 AM
This thread can now be closed.


 Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:

TMR  my sincere  apologies I have only jusy caught up with this thread   redface: 

Congratulations  and well done  :thumbsup: Wish you every sucess   cloud9:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 30, 2014, 10:00:16 AM
This thread can now be closed.


 Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:

TMR  my sincere  apologies I have only jusy caught up with this thread   redface: 

Congratulations  and well done  :thumbsup: Wish you every sucess   cloud9:

Thanks Boogs.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Adventure on January 30, 2014, 10:52:09 AM
This thread can now be closed.


 Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:

TMR  my sincere  apologies I have only jusy caught up with this thread   redface: 

Congratulations  and well done  :thumbsup: Wish you every sucess   cloud9:

Thanks Boogs.

Yes, and from me, how lovely to hear some good news, well done!
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2014, 11:03:52 AM
Thank you all. Tel, when I get my first Mahoosive wage packet you are having a few pints on me. And Miss D, Voddy frenzy at Victoria station. Then I'll need to go to Paphos for the Cyprus lot...

Wandsworth Common  scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 30, 2014, 02:05:18 PM
Thank you all. Tel, when I get my first Mahoosive wage packet you are having a few pints on me. And Miss D, Voddy frenzy at Victoria station. Then I'll need to go to Paphos for the Cyprus lot...

Wandsworth Common  scared2: scared2:

Suppose I might have to visit Nottingham too...
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on January 30, 2014, 02:17:53 PM
By train?  scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 30, 2014, 03:30:32 PM
Thank you all. Tel, when I get my first Mahoosive wage packet you are having a few pints on me. And Miss D, Voddy frenzy at Victoria station. Then I'll need to go to Paphos for the Cyprus lot...

 Party001:

TMR World Tour  dates coming soon  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: barmisspah? on January 31, 2014, 12:03:38 PM
So pleased for you TMR, when do you start?
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on January 31, 2014, 12:49:04 PM
So pleased for you TMR, when do you start?

Thanks barmisspah. Contractually I have to give a month's notice, but I hope to negotiate this down to a fortnight  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: boogs on January 31, 2014, 04:44:34 PM
Thank you all. Tel, when I get my first Mahoosive wage packet you are having a few pints on me. And Miss D, Voddy frenzy at Victoria station. Then I'll need to go to Paphos for the Cyprus lot...

Wandsworth Common  scared2: scared2:

Suppose I might have to visit Nottingham too...




 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on January 31, 2014, 08:53:17 PM
Good man  Thumbs:.....when you come to Cyprus I shall buy you a drink.  Thumbs:

Apey will be away that day for some reason.  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 01, 2014, 05:15:41 AM
Are you werking on the 5th and 11th Tiny? I'll buy you a beer like....  Thumbs:

EZY5454 & EZY 5453
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on February 01, 2014, 09:33:46 AM
Are you werking on the 5th and 11th Tiny? I'll buy you a beer like....  Thumbs:

EZY5454 & EZY 5453

Off both days. I shall inform my colleagues  whistle:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 01, 2014, 12:06:09 PM
Are you werking on the 5th and 11th Tiny? I'll buy you a beer like....  Thumbs:

EZY5454 & EZY 5453

Off both days. I shall inform my colleagues  whistle:

 scared2:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on February 04, 2014, 01:08:32 PM
4 more days left to do  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: apc2010 on February 04, 2014, 01:11:05 PM
4 more days left to do  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs: Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 04, 2014, 03:35:16 PM
4 more days left to do  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on February 04, 2014, 04:04:23 PM
4 more days left to do  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs:

Wot you doing on the 10th?
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: apc2010 on February 04, 2014, 04:10:27 PM
4 more days left to do  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs:

Wot you doing on the 10th?

What he is told ....... noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on February 04, 2014, 04:22:13 PM
4 more days left to do  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs:

Wot you doing on the 10th?

My one day off like!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on February 04, 2014, 04:32:46 PM
4 more days left to do  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs:

Wot you doing on the 10th?

My one day off like!  Thumbs:

SmugClub (UK) beerfest you say?
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 04, 2014, 04:36:09 PM
4 more days left to do  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs:

Wot you doing on the 10th?

A tad late TMR but congratulations.  Looks like 2014 is going to be a good year for you.

                                                                      Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on February 04, 2014, 04:40:42 PM
4 more days left to do  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs:

Wot you doing on the 10th?

My one day off like!  Thumbs:

SmugClub (UK) beerfest you say?

 cloud9:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on February 04, 2014, 04:56:32 PM
4 more days left to do  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs:

Wot you doing on the 10th?

My one day off like!  Thumbs:

SmugClub (UK) beerfest you say?

 cloud9:

Where?  Epsom?
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on February 04, 2014, 04:58:05 PM
4 more days left to do  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs:

Wot you doing on the 10th?

My one day off like!  Thumbs:

SmugClub (UK) beerfest you say?

 cloud9:

Where?  Epsom?

I think I'm gonna be in Thorpe but I'm not sure.... I'll check it out like!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on February 04, 2014, 05:04:41 PM
4 more days left to do  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs:

Wot you doing on the 10th?

My one day off like!  Thumbs:

SmugClub (UK) beerfest you say?

 cloud9:

Where?  Epsom?

I think I'm gonna be in Thorpe but I'm not sure.... I'll check it out like!  Thumbs:

Thorpe is a god-forsaken place, let's meet in Epsom. Tel too?
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: Barman on February 04, 2014, 05:09:54 PM
4 more days left to do  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs: Thumbs: Thumbs:

Wot you doing on the 10th?

My one day off like!  Thumbs:

SmugClub (UK) beerfest you say?

 cloud9:

Where?  Epsom?

I think I'm gonna be in Thorpe but I'm not sure.... I'll check it out like!  Thumbs:

Thorpe is a god-forsaken place, let's meet in Epsom. Tel too?

 Thumbs:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 04, 2014, 05:52:06 PM
To be honest, it's not much fun drinking him under the table when he can walk under it.....  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on February 04, 2014, 05:57:15 PM
To be honest, it's not much fun drinking him under the table when he can walk under it.....  noooo:

Endcock.
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on February 04, 2014, 06:01:17 PM
Open to others?

If so I wouldn't be averse to joining you for a pint or seven . . . .
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 04, 2014, 06:03:36 PM
Open to others?

If so I wouldn't be averse to joining you for a pint or seven . . . .

 Thumbs:

I wonder if we could get Wenchy there....?  rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on February 04, 2014, 06:05:23 PM
Open to others?

If so I wouldn't be averse to joining you for a pint or seven . . . .

 Thumbs:

I wonder if we could get Wenchy there....?  rubschin:

. . . . and JoM and Tipsy . . .
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 04, 2014, 06:31:40 PM
Open to others?

If so I wouldn't be averse to joining you for a pint or seven . . . .

 Thumbs:

I wonder if we could get Wenchy there....?  rubschin:

. . . . and JoM and Tipsy . . .

Not Nick tho....  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on February 04, 2014, 07:05:22 PM
 lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 04, 2014, 07:09:46 PM
lol:

He'd tell that story about the Pope and the cat....  noooo:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Baldy on February 04, 2014, 07:25:07 PM
lol:

He'd tell that story about the Pope and the cat....  noooo:

How long are you staying there? Is there enough time?   rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on February 04, 2014, 08:23:26 PM
Open to others?

If so I wouldn't be averse to joining you for a pint or seven . . . .

 Thumbs:

I wonder if we could get Wenchy there....?  rubschin:

. . . . and JoM and Tipsy . . .

Not possible this week..  car is in the garage for brake pads.   ::)
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Barman on February 05, 2014, 05:23:11 AM
Open to others?

If so I wouldn't be averse to joining you for a pint or seven . . . .

 Thumbs:

I wonder if we could get Wenchy there....?  rubschin:

. . . . and JoM and Tipsy . . .

Not possible this week..  car is in the garage for brake pads.   ::)

Not this week - Monday the 10th... ::)

Next week!  lol:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 05, 2014, 07:45:40 AM
Thass right  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on February 05, 2014, 12:18:23 PM
 sad32:
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on February 06, 2014, 02:50:42 PM
Open to others?

If so I wouldn't be averse to joining you for a pint or seven . . . .

 Thumbs:

I wonder if we could get Wenchy there....?  rubschin:

. . . . and JoM and Tipsy . . .

Not possible this week..  car is in the garage for brake pads.   ::)

Not this week - Monday the 10th... ::)

Next week!  lol:

Oh.   rubschin:
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs) on February 06, 2014, 07:21:00 PM
Today I discovered that Morrocans dont like being called " a nation of thieves and camel humpers" :-*
Title: Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2014, 07:22:15 PM
They can be a touchy lot  noooo:  Only country I ever got thrown out of.
Title: Re: TMR's all new &quot;Tales from the Underworld&quot; thread
Post by: apc2010 on February 06, 2014, 07:23:56 PM
Today I discovered that Morrocans dont like being called " a nation of thieves and camel humpers" :-*

 ;D  They must be racist....... noooo: