Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 375100 times)

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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5250 on: September 08, 2019, 04:18:17 AM »
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5252 on: September 09, 2019, 07:20:36 PM »
A new supermarket has just opened near me.
It has an automatic water meter to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear the sound of cows mooing and the smell of fresh cut hay.
When you approach the egg cases, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore. 
Well, whatever nevermind

Online apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5253 on: September 09, 2019, 10:20:34 PM »
A new supermarket has just opened near me.
It has an automatic water meter to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear the sound of cows mooing and the smell of fresh cut hay.
When you approach the egg cases, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

 ;D ;D


But shit joke !!

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5254 on: September 10, 2019, 03:35:52 AM »
A new supermarket has just opened near me.
It has an automatic water meter to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear the sound of cows mooing and the smell of fresh cut hay.
When you approach the egg cases, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5255 on: September 10, 2019, 12:33:31 PM »
A new supermarket has just opened near me.
It has an automatic water meter to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear the sound of cows mooing and the smell of fresh cut hay.
When you approach the egg cases, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Online apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5256 on: September 10, 2019, 07:51:28 PM »





 rubschin: rubschin:

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5257 on: September 10, 2019, 08:01:07 PM »
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5259 on: September 13, 2019, 08:56:48 PM »
Affs?


Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5260 on: September 15, 2019, 05:08:17 PM »
A pirate walked into a bar, and took a seat on a bar stool.
The barman said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
The barman replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the barman. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird shit."
"OK it was my first day with the hook."
Well, whatever nevermind

Online apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5261 on: September 15, 2019, 05:16:34 PM »
A pirate walked into a bar, and took a seat on a bar stool.
The barman said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
The barman replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the barman. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird shit."
"OK it was my first day with the hook."

 ;D ;D

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5262 on: September 16, 2019, 04:39:28 AM »
A pirate walked into a bar, and took a seat on a bar stool.
The barman said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
The barman replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the barman. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird shit."
"OK it was my first day with the hook."

 ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5263 on: September 23, 2019, 09:59:36 PM »
Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Stella...

Barman asks, "What's wrong with Stella...?

Bloke says, "I had 12 pints of Stella last night and when I came round, I was fucking skint"...

Barman says, "12 pints of anything in here costs about the same"...

Bloke replies, "Skint's My Dog"..
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5264 on: September 23, 2019, 10:35:28 PM »
Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Stella...

Barman asks, "What's wrong with Stella...?

Bloke says, "I had 12 pints of Stella last night and when I came round, I was fucking skint"...

Barman says, "12 pints of anything in here costs about the same"...

Bloke replies, "Skint's My Dog"..
happy001
Well, whatever nevermind