Fresh from the Inbox

[Barman]

[Darwins Selection]

[Steve]

A new supermarket has just opened near me.
It has an automatic water meter to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear the sound of cows mooing and the smell of fresh cut hay.
When you approach the egg cases, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore. 

[apc2010]

A new supermarket has just opened near me.
It has an automatic water meter to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear the sound of cows mooing and the smell of fresh cut hay.
When you approach the egg cases, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

 


But shit joke !!

[Barman]

A new supermarket has just opened near me.
It has an automatic water meter to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear the sound of cows mooing and the smell of fresh cut hay.
When you approach the egg cases, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

 

[Darwins Selection]

A new supermarket has just opened near me.
It has an automatic water meter to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear the sound of cows mooing and the smell of fresh cut hay.
When you approach the egg cases, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

 

[apc2010]

 

[Just One More]

 

 

[Barman]

 

 

 

[Steve]

Affs?

[Steve]

A pirate walked into a bar, and took a seat on a bar stool.
The barman said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
The barman replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the barman. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird shit."
"OK it was my first day with the hook."

[apc2010]

A pirate walked into a bar, and took a seat on a bar stool.
The barman said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
The barman replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the barman. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird shit."
"OK it was my first day with the hook."

 

[Barman]

A pirate walked into a bar, and took a seat on a bar stool.
The barman said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
The barman replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the barman. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird shit."
"OK it was my first day with the hook."

 

[Just One More]

Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Stella...

Barman asks, "What's wrong with Stella...?

Bloke says, "I had 12 pints of Stella last night and when I came round, I was fucking skint"...

Barman says, "12 pints of anything in here costs about the same"...

Bloke replies, "Skint's My Dog"..

[Steve]

Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Stella...

Barman asks, "What's wrong with Stella...?

Bloke says, "I had 12 pints of Stella last night and when I came round, I was fucking skint"...

Barman says, "12 pints of anything in here costs about the same"...

Bloke replies, "Skint's My Dog"..