Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 276485 times)

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 121790
  • Reputation: -41
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4500 on: February 25, 2018, 05:45:34 AM »
Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is an Arsenal fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Arsenal fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" . "Because I'm not an Arsenal fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an Arsenal fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am a Spurs fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Spurs fan?"
"Because my mum is a Spurs fan, and my dad is a Spurs fan, so I'm a Spurs fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Spurs fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time... What if your mum was a disease riddled prostitute and your dad was an inbred drug addict, what would you be then?"
'Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be an Arsenal fan".

 lol: lol: lol:

To pass on to Miss A or not...?  rubschin:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 34947
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4501 on: February 25, 2018, 09:38:24 AM »
Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is an Arsenal fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Arsenal fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" . "Because I'm not an Arsenal fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an Arsenal fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am a Spurs fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Spurs fan?"
"Because my mum is a Spurs fan, and my dad is a Spurs fan, so I'm a Spurs fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Spurs fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time... What if your mum was a disease riddled prostitute and your dad was an inbred drug addict, what would you be then?"
'Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be an Arsenal fan".

 lol: lol: lol:

To pass on to Miss A or not...?  rubschin:

Of course

A confession though, as original seen it was a Wolves and Baggies joke so I edited it somewhat  angel1
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 34947
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4502 on: February 26, 2018, 04:15:40 PM »
Sometimes it really pays to think logically....here’s a good example.

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle,
bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break.
So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.
It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 121790
  • Reputation: -41
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4503 on: February 26, 2018, 05:10:24 PM »
Sometimes it really pays to think logically....here’s a good example.

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle,
bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break.
So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.
It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 34947
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4504 on: February 27, 2018, 03:43:43 PM »
"Father, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?”

Pastor replied,

“No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road. Maybe they will do something for the animal”.

The man answered”

“Father, but do you think they will accept a donation of £50,000 in return for the burial service?”

Pastor exclaimed,

“Sweet Jesus! Why didn’t you tell me that dog was a Catholic.”
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Tipsy Gipsy

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 10678
  • Reputation: 0
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4505 on: February 28, 2018, 07:54:33 PM »
Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is an Arsenal fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Arsenal fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" . "Because I'm not an Arsenal fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an Arsenal fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am a Spurs fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Spurs fan?"
"Because my mum is a Spurs fan, and my dad is a Spurs fan, so I'm a Spurs fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Spurs fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time... What if your mum was a disease riddled prostitute and your dad was an inbred drug addict, what would you be then?"
'Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be an Arsenal fan".

 lol: lol: lol:

To pass on to Miss A or not...?  rubschin:

Of course

A confession though, as original seen it was a Wolves and Baggies joke so I edited it somewhat  angel1

Ah, now it makes sense.   :thumbsup:
It's better than I ever even knew.  They say that the world was built for two.  Only worth living if somebody is loving you.  Baby now you do.

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 48855
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4506 on: March 04, 2018, 12:10:52 PM »
"Father, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?”

Pastor replied,

“No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road. Maybe they will do something for the animal”.

The man answered”

“Father, but do you think they will accept a donation of £50,000 in return for the burial service?”

Pastor exclaimed,

“Sweet Jesus! Why didn’t you tell me that dog was a Catholic.”

 ;D ;D Thumbs:

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 34947
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4507 on: March 05, 2018, 07:39:09 PM »
Q): What's the difference between a bit of Snow and a Llama..???

*

*

A): The British Press and Media, don't know how to Milk a Llama.
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 121790
  • Reputation: -41
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4508 on: March 06, 2018, 06:33:52 AM »
Q): What's the difference between a bit of Snow and a Llama..???

*

*

A): The British Press and Media, don't know how to Milk a Llama.

 drumroll:  razz:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 35070
  • Reputation: 5
  • I mostly despair
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4509 on: March 06, 2018, 09:05:01 AM »
Q): What's the difference between a bit of Snow and a Llama..???

*

*

A): The British Press and Media, don't know how to Milk a Llama.

 drumroll:  razz:
lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Youngs)

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 11962
  • Reputation: 0
  • No surrender
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4510 on: March 12, 2018, 12:55:12 PM »
Bookmakers are already taking bets on the possible location of Harry and Meghan's honeymoon.
So far we have..

Barbados 10/1
Venice 15/1
Seychelles 20/1
New York 25/1
Paris 1,000,000/1
Balmoral 50/1
Rome 100/1

H/T Caustic Bob

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 121790
  • Reputation: -41
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4511 on: March 12, 2018, 12:56:28 PM »
Bookmakers are already taking bets on the possible location of Harry and Meghan's honeymoon.
So far we have..

Barbados 10/1
Venice 15/1
Seychelles 20/1
New York 25/1
Paris 1,000,000/1
Balmoral 50/1
Rome 100/1

H/T Caustic Bob

happy001
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 34947
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4512 on: March 12, 2018, 01:45:38 PM »
Bookmakers are already taking bets on the possible location of Harry and Meghan's honeymoon.
So far we have..

Barbados 10/1
Venice 15/1
Seychelles 20/1
New York 25/1
Paris 1,000,000/1
Balmoral 50/1
Rome 100/1

H/T Caustic Bob

happy001
lol: lol: lol:

I'm sure they'd love to see SmugLand





via Instagram
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Uncle Mort

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 16395
  • Reputation: 2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4513 on: March 12, 2018, 04:27:52 PM »
Bookmakers are already taking bets on the possible location of Harry and Meghan's honeymoon.
So far we have..

Barbados 10/1
Venice 15/1
Seychelles 20/1
New York 25/1
Paris 1,000,000/1
Balmoral 50/1
Rome 100/1

H/T Caustic Bob

happy001

 Shrugs:

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 121790
  • Reputation: -41
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4514 on: March 12, 2018, 04:32:51 PM »
Bookmakers are already taking bets on the possible location of Harry and Meghan's honeymoon.
So far we have..

Barbados 10/1
Venice 15/1
Seychelles 20/1
New York 25/1
Paris 1,000,000/1
Balmoral 50/1
Rome 100/1

H/T Caustic Bob

happy001

 Shrugs:

Paris Uncle, Lady Di...  ;)
Pro Skub  Thumbs: