Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 387210 times)

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Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #345 on: January 17, 2011, 06:37:07 AM »
 On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.
 
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
 
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.

The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit..

She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied.

She tasted another drop and asked, " Champagne ?".

"No," said the little boy.............."It's a puppy!"
 
 
 

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #346 on: January 17, 2011, 06:37:53 AM »
 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #347 on: January 17, 2011, 08:33:56 AM »
 lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #348 on: January 17, 2011, 08:51:11 PM »
A policeman in Adelaide pulled over a driver who had been weaving in and out of the traffic. He approached the car window and said "Sir I need you to blow into this breathalyzer".
The man reaches into his pocket and produces a doctor's note. On it was written: "This man suffers from chronic asthma.Do not make him perform any action that may leave him short of breath".
The policeman said "Okay then I need you to come and give a blood sample"
The man produced another letter.
This one said:"This man is a haemophiliac. Please do not cause him to bleed in any way".
So the officer said: "Right, I need a urine sample then".
The man produces a third letter from his pocket. It read:


"This man plays Cricket for Australia , please don't take the piss out of him"
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #349 on: January 18, 2011, 06:46:21 AM »
 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #350 on: January 18, 2011, 09:28:33 AM »
Santa was winding down after a hectic December and said to the chief elf

"I'm fed up. Every year I put on this stupid red and white outfit, do all the work and end up with nothing!"

The elf replies

"Now you know how Steven Gerrard feels".

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #351 on: January 18, 2011, 07:59:44 PM »
One moment before death



LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Snoopy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #352 on: January 18, 2011, 08:52:25 PM »
One moment before death





I think we need a new thread for this one .... "And that is when the fight started" would be a reasonable title I feel.

We may have done this before (in fact I'm sure we have) but it is a rich seam to be mined.
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #353 on: January 18, 2011, 09:47:38 PM »
One moment before death





I think we need a new thread for this one .... "And that is when the fight started" would be a reasonable title I feel.

We may have done this before (in fact I'm sure we have) but it is a rich seam to be mined.

We have and you started it, but we'll leave that dusty old 'un and use your fresh 'un
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #354 on: January 19, 2011, 07:18:34 AM »
One moment before death





I think we need a new thread for this one .... "And that is when the fight started" would be a reasonable title I feel.

We may have done this before (in fact I'm sure we have) but it is a rich seam to be mined.

We have and you started it, but we'll leave that dusty old 'un and use your fresh 'un

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Online apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #355 on: January 19, 2011, 11:09:53 AM »
Word of advice ...............DO NOT shout in Tesco...............

I'd kill for a mozzarella, tomato and pesto pizza right now!

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #356 on: January 19, 2011, 01:03:53 PM »
Word of advice ...............DO NOT shout in Tesco...............

I'd kill for a mozzarella, tomato and pesto pizza right now!
noooo:

Put a sock in it APC.
I mostly despair

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #357 on: January 19, 2011, 08:04:44 PM »
Apparantly, Gary Glitter wants to be the new Aston Villa manager, after he heard that their front line will be Young, Bent and possibly Keane
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #358 on: January 19, 2011, 09:41:39 PM »
Apparantly, Gary Glitter wants to be the new Aston Villa manager, after he heard that their front line will be Young, Bent and possibly Keane

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #359 on: January 20, 2011, 08:13:24 PM »
.

LiFe - It's an "F" in lie